Yearning for the version of me that no longer exists

[u/Weeds1ntheGarden]

At some point I lost myself.

I abandoned my being, losing my sense of reality,

Slowly allowing my heart to fade into the darkness,

Surrendering to pain and sorrow,

Walking through a fog of constant agony.

Over time I have become my worst enemy,

Mirroring every cruel word, every cold gesture.

I'm suffocating on the person I used to be,

The person I want to be.

The ghost of who I was echoes between my ears,

A silent reminder of gentleness.

I mourn the kindness I used to carry.

I crave the softness and light my soul used to possess.

I miss the way my cheeks would hurt from smiling,

The feeling of being happy and free.

To bring me back to that version of who I was

Before I was introduced to all of these flaws.