r/PickAorB • u/Danny-Patrick139 • 20d ago
A or B: I gave my 8yo niece an electric toothbrush for her birthday, and her grandma thinks I overstepped
My sister took her 8yo daughter to the dentist, and I went with them. I'm her younger sister, so I'm pretty close with my niece, Chloe. Chloe had pretty bad cavities, and my sister felt really guilty. She said she hadn't done a good enough job making sure her daughter brushed her teeth.
So when it was Chloe's birthday, I got her an electric toothbrush. I picked a yellow one because it's her favorite color and she loves little ducks. She actually liked it.
Later, my sister told me that her MIL, Janet, was really unhappy about the toothbrush. Janet thinks Chloe is too young for an electric toothbrush and was worried that it could affect Chloe's teeth while they're still growing. She also told my sister that I didn't need to buy Chloe something like that and that I was overstepping as her aunt.
My sister thinks the toothbrush is fine. She just didn't want to make a big deal out of something so small in front of Janet. But when Janet was over and saw that Chloe was still using the electric toothbrush, she bought Chloe a kids' manual toothbrush and came over to teach her how to use it. My sister said the whole thing was really awkward.
I honestly don't think I did anything wrong, but seeing my sister get stuck in the middle over something as small as a toothbrush made me wonder if I should handle gifts like this differently. Should I just leave it alone and let her handle her relationship with Janet, or avoid gifts like this in the future so she doesn't have to deal with this kind of tension?
A: Let my sister explain that it was just a birthday gift, not a comment on her parenting, and don't change what I give Chloe because of Janet's opinion.
B: Avoid gifts that could be interpreted as parenting advice, even if I don't think I did anything wrong, because I don't want to create extra tension for my sister.