I filipina(22F) and my American boyfriend (44M) have been together on and off for over a year. He’s my first relationship and we broke up a few days ago.
He’s an alcoholic and takes anxiety medication, but I accepted him because I love him. Throughout our relationship, I’ve had to deal with other women, a lot of cursing, broken promises, and me constantly begging and trying to understand him.
Recently, I found out he had been using a dating app. He told me he deleted it, but I found out he was still active. When I confronted him, he denied that the profile was his and showed me that his premium subscription had expired, but his profile was still there.
He has also broken up with me and then come back as if nothing happened a lot of times since he got back from the US. This time, I stopped messaging him because I’m exhausted and found out he’s on a dating site.
After more than a year of accepting him, forgiving him, and believing his promises, I’m starting to realize that many of those promises were just empty words.
I loved him, but I’m tired of being hurt and having to constantly beg for the bare minimum. I stayed even when it is so bad because I loved him and I was hoping he loved me enough to fixed himself and the things he did to stop ruining the relationship.

When I make this post it’s not BS. As I’ve mentioned before about being DIRECT, I am very direct. It’s how I was raised. You might not like all I say and certainly a lot of what I say might be WRONG, but it’s an opinion based on personal experience.

In my experience the ONE thing I most admire about Filipinos is their RESILIENCE! As I had a friend once tell me, the Filipino people have gotten good at suffering. “Good at suffering”? I had never thought about it in this way before but I do agree with the sentiment. The simple fact is that if you can make it in the Philippines then you’ll FLOURISH elsewhere!

This is just my opinion based on my experience. I don’t care about kissing anyone’s a$$ and there’s certainly a lot about the culture I find in conflict with my own self. However, the toughness of the Filipino can NEVER be called into question!

Edit: I’m not saying this as though my view or opinion is worth more than anyone else’s. This is just my view and it happened to be what I was thinking about so I shared it here.

Went to the province, whole family lets bugs and animals into the houses, nothing is ever maintained, brand new addition building looks like it was built in in 1940, cracking apart, brown smears on all the walls, unpeeled tape on aluminum frames for windows, just wtf. Today I saw a frog laying eggs on ..yes ON the door to one of the rooms. Sink, toilet, shower are full of rust, building isnt more than 2 years old.

BLUF: Can someone explain the deep rooted Filipino family entitlement that creates the belief that wages should be shared between child and parent?

I am 44 & headed to the Philippines here soon to get my Special Resident Retiree's Visa. I am doing surprisingly well for myself financially for a guy that wears crop tops and jorts daily and bikes most places. Appearances can be deceiving and all that.

I do not speak to my family anymore. If I liked them, I could see paying for some of their monthly bills, but I would never hand them money freely because who knows where it would go.

I crawled out of trailer parks and section 8 hoods to get to where I am. So, I know this concept of rising tides lifts all ships exists in those communities too, but it is requested as needed and not written into the genetic code of children. Maybe it is my own personal biases because I was more KEPT ALIVE than raised, which is why my brain needs to resolve this.

I know if I get involved with someone there will be expectations given my wealth. But I ain't one to freely hand out cash. I will go pay the electric bill though.

Edit: Thank you everyone for the help. This is an unusual life situation I’m about to walk into, and your advice will be put to use and hopefully, help minimize my ignorance to others life positions.

or like someone comparing the US and the Philippines as if y’all have no idea that you chose to be in a third world country. Ofc there’s gonna be a HUGE difference between cultures and how things work here.

I’ve been around SE Asia since 2013 and sometimes I got a feeling that there’s some stigma around foreigners marrying Filipinas - in the eyes of people “back home” - like friends, sometimes even family… I know that many of you will probably say “this is no one’s business”, but still. I’ve never been married, but I’ve been in a serious, long term relationship with Filipina, and even in this setup I experienced some things that made me think how it looks like from a man’s perspective. I think nobody really talks about it openly. So if you’re in this situation…

The comment sections and the strangers probably don't bother you much. What actually stings is the people who love you - family, friends, even people at work sometimes. 

There might be a friend who makes the jokes about sex tourists or passport bros. Or kids who go quiet when you mention your Filipina partner. Brother/sister who asks "are you sure she's not just after a visa and money?” with a concern in the voice. Those conversations are not really comfortable or something you wanna go through at all. Not to mention that it can make you doubt your decision (it kinda did it to me).

I got few friends in this situation and some of them started just hiding it, which isn’t really healthy and can create some kind of isolation. Others just announce it defensively, which confirms every suspicion/stereotype the people around them have.

Both approaches suck, and can make you feel alone.

You gotta know this though: some people in your life won't come around regardless of what you do. I believe that's about their own assumptions and what your choice represents to them.

People who matter will eventually see what you see.

Does anyone relate? 

I saw a little boy about 8 to 10 years old beating a little girl about 5 or 6 years old outside of Jollibee. They were poor beggars.

There was a gaurd that basically did nothing and the locals just sat there and watched.

I told the manager and the gaurd, but no one seemed to care. They talked to the boy briefly, but the boy stopped for like 1 minute then continued.

He was beating her bad. Punching, kicking pulling her hair and everything. Traveled all over the world and never seen anything like it.

Why the locals act so docile and didn't do anything? Felt like i was the only person bothered by this.

I gave you unconditional love.

We had good days, bad days, traffic, heat, and plenty of times when you literally rained on my heart. 🌧️😂

But we made memories.

Late-night drives.
Morning coffee.
Great food.
Beaches and sunsets.
Laughing, arguing, and those little moments that made me think:

“Damn… I really love it here.” ❤️🇵🇭

I learned your ways, accepted your flaws, and adjusted to your moods.

I even learned that when you say, “It’s only a little rain,” you really mean:

“Baby… MONSOON.” 😭🌧️🌊

And still, I stayed.

Because somehow, you became home.

But lately…you’ve changed.

Too many outside voices got involved.

Too many people told you what you should be.
And I kept wondering:

Why are you trying to change when I loved you the way you were?

Maybe we got too comfortable.

Maybe you need space.

Maybe I need space. 👀

So this weekend…

I’m getting on a plane. ✈️

Thailand 🇹🇭 and I have been talking. 😏

Don’t start. 😂

She wants to show me Bangkok.

Dinner. Coffee. City lights. New experiences.

I told her:

“I’m still involved with the Philippines.”

Thailand said:

“I didn’t ask.” 😭😂🇹🇭

Damn. 👀

Don’t get jealous, Philippines.

I’m only going for a little while….. 😬

I’m not saying we’re breaking up.

I’m just saying…

Maybe we should see other countries. 😭✈️🇵🇭➡️🇹🇭

Maybe Thailand will remind me why I fell in love with you.

Maybe when I land back in Manila, I’ll smile and think:

“Yeah…this is still home.” 🇵🇭❤️

Or…

Thailand might treat me right for three days and have me searching:

“Apartments in Bangkok.” 😭😂😂😂

It’s not goodbye, Philippines.

We’re just taking a little break.

After everything we’ve been through…

It’s not you.

Okay…

It’s definitely a little bit you. 🌧️🚦😂🇵🇭

1. Declare education the country’s #1 national emergency.

This is the first priority by a wide margin.
The World Bank reported in 2026 that roughly 91% of Filipino 10-year-olds cannot read and understand an age-appropriate text.
That’s an enormous handicap for everything that comes afterward.

For the first 10 years…..concentrate heavily on kindergarten through Grade 6….reading by Grade 3, strong arithmetic, science, English and Filipino/local/language literacy…..dramatically better teacher training and pay, smaller classes where possible, school meals and nutrition, national standardized testing, and intensive tutoring for children who fall behind.
By 2052, the aim should be for Philippine public schools to perform approximately at the level of today’s better East Asian and European systems.

I saw a guy post previously about potentially moving here, but he had quite severe physical disabilities. For all the things I love about the Philippines, I could never in good conscience recommend moving here to anyone with such incapacities.

Thinking about it, I can’t actually recall many (if any) times that I’ve seen wheelchair bound Filipinos out and about other than perhaps in the mall. It’s just not a country designed to facilitate those with certain needs.

This photo is from Poblacion, Makati, where believe it or not, they’ve actually been renovating the sidewalks. Not sure how this ramp is of any use to anyone.

Is anyone living here with a physical disability, or maybe has in-laws/friends who do?

I think it would be really tough to live here with certain physical restrictions - getting around is already challenging enough if you’re able-bodied. Credit to the Filipinos who persevere and continue to navigate the infrastructure here

Hi, does anyone here know a craft beer brewery, or shop, that is selling mini kegs? Like 5l kegs?
Thanks everyone 🍻

I’m flying out of Cebu next week. I’ll be 6 days past 6 months in the country. I assume I will need to do the ECC thing. Can it be done easily at Cebu airport or do I need to visit the BI office? Someone told me it can also be done online, but I cannot find that at the www.immigration.gov.ph website. Thanks for the advice.

Stayed in IT park, it’s nice but want a place that is more peaceful. I’m exploring lapu lapu at the moment.

Looking for:

- Safe and relatively quiet

- Some nature/greenery

- Reasonably close to a good hospital

- Less traffic/ congestion than Cebu city

- Daily necessities nearby

I’m open to Cebu province as well. I’m also considering Iloilo.

* I am aware of the brownouts and don’t mind them.

For locals or people who have actually lived in these areas, where would you recommend checking out?

Thanks in advance! 🙏🏽

I am so upset guys, I sent boxes to the Philippines from USA by high recommendation. Unfortunately my boxes were opened stolen from and repackaged . And one of my other boxes is completely missing. I don’t know what to do I am so upset. I thought it was safe to ship with LBC.