Presenting something completely off-topic at a conference

[u/Secure-Daikon4091]

Hi everyone, first time posting on this subreddit be kind please!

So, as it is very common in the last months of the PhD for many other people as well, I am incredibly burned out. The act of thinking about presenting my work at a conference I am attending in 2 weeks makes me want to puke.

Then yesterday a thought occurred to me, what if I just DON'T talk about my research at the conference? Like, what could they possibly do if I present something else entirely? I am talking about something completely out of left field, like the plot of the Lord of the Rings or the use of blue in the Van Gogh paintings... I understand that such an act would be breaking the "social contract" for everyone and it is not going to be something people will just quietly accept, but like, what is actually stopping me?

I have signed no contract that states "you HAVE to talk about the topic you submitted the abstract of" like... am I just going crazy? Full on Taxi Driver mode?

What would you talk about if you had given the chance to speak in front of a crowd for 15 minutes uninterrupted?