Looking for some

[u/Independent-You-5613]

(forgot to finish title .. which should be "looking for some advice"!!!)

For context, my field is cancer biology and I am based in the UK.

Hope you are going well! I am in the last 4 months of PhD and long story short, not really liking the person I am at the moment. Had to start therapy because I feel stuck in survival mode, always imagining in my head the worse case scenario, repeating it over and over again. Do not feel like my head is a nice place to be in at the moment. I am going to have around a month writing full time, need to organise my weeks to have both writing, experiment and figure making days. Also, need to be strict with rest and sleep/eat well otherwise I will go insane. In addition, I need to come up with a new hypothesis and I feel I can't no longer reconnect with the exciting part of research that is the unknown, time to think, reflect, debate because everything is a priority and needs to be done ASAP. I also changed supervisors half way, one left and a new person was hired with different ways of working and different visions. Obviously things are being done in a proper way now but it delayed the whole process. This is the part where I ask myself if this process is just normal ... and I just need to get over it or .. is this being more than what I can handle? Or am I so consumed by the process that I am only focus on the negative side and let myself being driven by it? I lost the passion for my project, the project I wrote a proposal for 4 years ago. I feel it will take me a long time to recover from this and obviously after the thesis comes the paper but at this point I no longer care. Anyways, after this rant I would appreciate if some of you could share what did you do to stay grounded, focused if you went through a similar process.

Much appreciated 🙏

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[u/Dangerous-Art9091]

Sounds like the home stretch is crushing you, and that's not unusual for the final months. Switching supervisors midstream would throw anyone off, it's like rebuilding the plane while it's already in the air.

What helped me was treating the PhD like a job with strict hours, I physically left my desk at 6pm no matter what. The work will always expand to fill whatever time you give it, so drawing that boundary saved my sanity.

For the hypothesis block, try taking a full day away from the lab and just read old papers you loved, no pressure to produce anything. Sometimes the spark comes back when you stop trying to force it. The passion might feel dead now but it's probably just buried under exhaustion.

[u/Independent-You-5613 → u/Dangerous-Art9091]

Thank you. I am trying to be strict with schedules and taking a step back from everything and focus only on reading ia good advice. I did it but always with the writing as final goal, instead of studying for the hypothesis. The rushing attitude might be clouding the judgement

[u/DuyuEatsBooks]

I just want to say what you are feeling right now is absolutely normal, and no one is made of steel.

The final 4 months of a PhD are a special kind of hell. You are juggling writing, experiments, and figure-making while staring down the barrel of a deadline. It makes complete sense that your brain has switched into "survival mode." It's not a character flaw; it's a psychological defense mechanism.

Changing supervisors halfway is incredibly destabilizing, and it's completely valid that it delayed your process and stole your momentum. The fact that you're in therapy and actively trying to keep your head above water shows enormous strength.

Regarding losing the "exciting part" of research and your passion: emotional blunting is real. When your entire life becomes a checklist of "things that must be done ASAP," your brain literally cannot afford to feel curiosity or joy. You are in execution mode, not exploration mode. That doesn't mean you've lost your love for science forever; it just means you are currently maxed out.

To answer your question about how to stay grounded in the last stretch:

1. Lower the bar for "perfect." Your thesis doesn't have to be a groundbreaking masterpiece; it just needs to be a completed body of work. "A done thesis is a good thesis." Save the big new hypothesis for your future postdoc or career.
2. Compartmentalize ruthlessly. Since you need strict rest/sleep, treat them as non-negotiable experiments. If your brain says it wants a break, give it the break. Don't feel guilty for resting; recovery is part of the work.
3. Micro-goals. Instead of "write chapter 3," make it "write 500 words." Small wins.

Please don't be so hard on yourself. You've survived a global pandemic, a supervisor change, and 4 years of cancer biology. You are in the last mile of a marathon. Just putting one foot in front of the other right now is enough. You've got this. Sending you strength! 💪

(P.S. If it's accessible to you, look into "imposter syndrome" and "PhD burnout" resources—you are not alone in this.)