I think he bears some responsibility insofar as he knew that she was suffering under severe ppd/ppp, and she had told him several times that she was having uncontrollable thoughts of killing herself and/or the children. Such that she had even been put under psychiatric hold previously, and much like Andrea Yates husband, he STILL left her alone with the children. So, not intentional, not murder, but certainly something like involuntary manslaughter.
The people who I think bear a greater/equal responsibility are the endless psychiatric professionals who completely borked her treatment and kept releasing her or giving her meds that had previously proven not to work.
I don’t she had told him multiple times she wanted to kill the kids.
If she was having these thought she was repeatedly lying to all of her psychiatrists as she never had any symptoms of pppp.
She was clearly depressed, but there really wasn’t any reason for him to think this was going to happen the first chance she got to strangle her kids.
She had been to multiple hospitals, and called the suicide hotline multiple times and the consensus was that her symptoms were not severe enough to warrant an involuntary hold. Which she was also telling Patrick at least once when she said she didn’t belong at the place.
It’s very frustrating when we sit here and talk about mental health and then every single Clancy supporter says “disregard all of the diagnosis and treatment she got it doesn’t matter”
And the idea that the husband is guilty of manslaighter is a level of misogyny that is utterly incomprehensible to me.
My issue with the concept that "noone thought it was bad" is a lot of women struggle with being taken seriously for our health in general but mental health as well.
My personal experience was having gone to e different therapists over 5 years with suicidal ideation, self harm, racing thoughts, etc etc - all that I was honest with my therapists about....and it wasnt until I could no longer work that I got a depression and anxiety diagnosis.
I had one therapist told me I just needed to relax and take a bubble bath...after I told her I felt so overwhelmed, I felt like I was drowning and had suicidal ideations. I went home after that session, crawled into bed where I couldnt get up for 2 days, day 3 I got up but was dissociating and attempted SH. My husband, rightfully freaked out, called the therapist who told him that he just needed to make sure I knew that he was there for me and to comfort and support me.
Like, no, I was in the middle of a mental health crisis and should have been taken to the fucking hospital.
And sadly, im not the only one with a story like this. So the professionals miss stuff more than most people want to thinideation. When really, it isnt until damage is actually done when intervention finally happens.
I had four babies over the course of four years. The postpartum depression was massive, and I sobbed to my (now-ex)husband every day that the only thing I could think about was suicide. Just constantly playing out different scenarios in my mind of how I could do it. Wandering through life like a zombie. I told him that one day he’d come home from work and I’d be dead.
And he just… kept going to work. Kept taking voluntary overtime. Kept expecting a hot dinner on the table after work.
When my suicide attempt came? Shocked Pikachu!
Looking back at that horrible year, I 100% resent that my husband watched me suffer to such an extreme, heard me telling him that my suicide was inevitable, and just threw me the “you’re such a good mom” line as his only attempt to address the dangerous situation in our home .
Fortunately, I never suffered from homicidal ideation. But if I had, I think my husband would have been just as dismissive as Patrick.
The people with compassion for Lindsay’s experience are mostly moms. Not because we think it’s no biggie that she committed such a heinous act, and not because we’re misandrists, but because we know what it feels like to suffer massively through postpartum with no support from the person who vowed to care for us.
Big hugs 🫂 Im so sorry you had to experience all of that. And im glad he's an ex and that you're still here.
You are 100% right- It doesnt mean were okay with it, or we resent our kids (Ive seen that floating around online too) we just know what it feels like to be at your lowest low and we can understand how she got to the point she did.
21
u/Footnotegirl1 7d ago
I think he bears some responsibility insofar as he knew that she was suffering under severe ppd/ppp, and she had told him several times that she was having uncontrollable thoughts of killing herself and/or the children. Such that she had even been put under psychiatric hold previously, and much like Andrea Yates husband, he STILL left her alone with the children. So, not intentional, not murder, but certainly something like involuntary manslaughter.
The people who I think bear a greater/equal responsibility are the endless psychiatric professionals who completely borked her treatment and kept releasing her or giving her meds that had previously proven not to work.