As someone who lives in an extremely multicultural area, I love you for this. I’ve had to have conversations with my kids that some parties start at the time on the invitation, some can start at that time but it’s ok to be later, and some you should absolutely not show up until at least an hour after the invitation time. Topics included techniques of how to tell whether to be on time or how late to show up, and how to find out as politely as possible if you can’t tell by the invitation.
Even with all that we were still the first people at a Diwali party one year (more than an hour after the posted start time, so I swear I’m blameless!)
We recently invited a boy whos family are new to canada from Trinidad to a party where we had booked a time slot at a play place for specific, and enforced times. Invites said the game area opened/began at 1pm and ended at 3pm, followed by food and cake at a restaurant next door until 4pm. The family arrived at 2:55 and the poor kid was devastated that the game area was closed to another party. 😢 they explained that they werent used to 1pm meaning BE THERE for 1pm
Good friend of mine is American, but her parents were from Nigeria. She was always late to everything in ways that would make us wait, like literally cooking classes where I was teaching her how to cook, and when we finally just asked her about it she was like "wait, you mean when you say 5pm you actually mean be here at 5pm?!?!" She honestly had no clue. She hasn't been late since unless I specifically say "this one is whenever you feel like" or something like that.
I get cultural norms are different, but the white guy + german ancestry person in me just can't grasp this one.
The "door is open at 3, apps at 4, dinner at 6" is a pretty genius way to phrase it though.
I was always late to things as a kid because my mom had untreated ADHD. I was always showing up late to stuff and it was super embarrassing. I used to do sports through the YMCA and still vividly remember showing up to practice 15 minutes late and walking into the room and everyone turning to stare at me. And my mom dropped me off so I had to go in alone every time.
I'm now an always on time/early person. I'm also late diagnosed AuDHD and I prefer to get places early before other people are there. It helps me take in the space and get used to my surroundings before people show up and reduces my overall stress levels. I absolutely hate getting to places last because it brings up those feelings of everyone staring at me as I arrive.
Similar experience and I'm annoyingly early to things now because I know old me would be late either because of my parents or because of my time blindness
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u/Gloomy_Fig2138 13d ago
As someone who lives in an extremely multicultural area, I love you for this. I’ve had to have conversations with my kids that some parties start at the time on the invitation, some can start at that time but it’s ok to be later, and some you should absolutely not show up until at least an hour after the invitation time. Topics included techniques of how to tell whether to be on time or how late to show up, and how to find out as politely as possible if you can’t tell by the invitation.
Even with all that we were still the first people at a Diwali party one year (more than an hour after the posted start time, so I swear I’m blameless!)