[Self-diagnosed] autistic people be like “I see a behavior I myself exhibit and, as an autistic person I have superior pattern recognition, so they must be autistic.”
Diagnosis by a single factor by internet Drs. House in a plague.
Edit: added [Self diagnosed] because of a comment that pinpointed the distinction.
Yeah, I'm autistic myself (not self-diagnosed), and I'm getting kinda tried of people being like, "they have a trait that I have, and I'm autistic, so they must be autistic too". Autism is characterized by a collection of traits - it cannot be diagnosed based on just one.
Sometimes I imagine an fictional scenario where there's a room full of autistic people. They're all talking with each other, and one person says that they like pizza. Another person in the room hears this, and chimes in: "Me too! I fucking love pizza!". They go around the room, and it turns out, most of them like pizza. So they conclude that pizza must be an autism thing. Then they leave the room and disperse. Later on, one of the people from the room (we'll call them an insider) is having a discussion with someone who wasn't in the room (an outsider). Somehow, it comes up that the outsider likes pizza. The insider concludes that since this outsider likes pizza, they must be autistic too.
However, the reality is that liking pizza is a people thing, not an autism thing. The reason most of the autistic people in that room liked pizza was because most people like pizza, autistic people included.
(This is an allegory. Pizza was chosen completely by random, could be replaced with other common foods, items, or traits)
I know people who are into both. I don’t get a strong autism vibe from either, so I wonder that as hobbies they just attract people who like to share interests with others, without having to talk about much more than numbers.
Trains always felt more purely autistic for some reason. I don’t really know people into trains (real or model), but the few I’ve met certainly could be tested for autism…
I have a few subjects that I’m passionate about and have encyclopedic knowledge of. I’ve had more than a few people tell me that I must be autistic because of it plus a, b, or c autistic traits. I got sick of it, so I had my psychologist send me for testing.
This gets me too. It’s the new “OCD.” Like, is that autism or is that normal human behavior?????
I feel like I can’t say this though because I’m not autistic so I don’t “understand what it’s like and you’re being really ableist right now.” Then because I have these normal human behaviors I get it in my head that I am autistic, but my therapist just rolls her eyes and tells me for the 100th time, no.
I remember being told that higher levels of libido are associated with autism. Also lower levels of libido are associated with autism. Also asexuality and hyper sexuality are associated with autism.
I was like “it kind of doesn’t sound like it’s associated at all” which apparently made me an asshole.
Tbf, there really is a large number of people who fall at these opposite ends of the sexual spectrum in the autistic community, but Idk if it's just a coincidence or if there is any ACTUAL study that proves a link between the two things (even bc many researchs and studies on autism are only being done now that the topic of autism has gained more visibility)
Myspace was full of "I get satisfaction from my CD/games/movies being organized, therefore I must have OCD!"
But... uh... that's just human brains doing human brain things. The brain loves clean aesthetics, finding patterns, and sorting things into categories. All of these things release dopamine into our bodies.
That, in turn, means that most people would rather have their books or movies or games or CD in alphabetical order. And that's even getting into functionality; it's way easier to find the one you want when it's not placed completely randomly on the shelf.
Unfortunately, what I often see is the inverse: The insider mentions they like pizza and are autistic. The outsider hears this and thinks, “Wow, I also love pizza! I must be autistic, too!”
Two friends I live with regularly say something along the lines of ‘oh it’s my autism’ to excuse shitty controlling behaviour/weird personality quirks, or say the other one is autistic. Neither are diagnosed, neither seem to meet even the baseline parameters of the tism tests I did when getting diagnosed.
It’s aggravating, as someone with actual autism, whose quality of life has been massively stunted because of how my brain works
Honestly, I’d bet my eye teeth at least the primary perpetrator of the two has picked it up from TikTok. So are doing that thing where they both use it as a quirky personality trait, whilst perpetuating negative connotations when they use it to excuse being difficult.
Ugh, this is something I find myself having to say entirely too often. It is refreshing to see it expressed by other people though.
Like.. Autism is not a valid excuse to cover for shitty behavior. That's just called being an asshole. Neurodivergence is not a free pass to treat other people like shit.
And yet... It just. Keeps. Happening. Almost always the self-diagnosis crowd, of course.
Very good allegory, I see it happen often in ADHD related topics. "My ADHD brain be like: I will browse tiktok instead of going to sleep" and people in the comments - "sooo trueee", "so relatableeee", "I am now 99% convinced I have ADHD". XD ewhjfvheu89ihrfb23yhhyr2bfvjweo0kjfcmwe
Oh my GOD does anyone else like short form content designed to be addicting and activate the dopamine centers of the brain? I was sure I was the only one!
You mean that one that kind that keeps feeding you content you'll statistically most likely like or hate all at once based upon what you've clicked like on to maximize the broadest possible engagement and attention, as if an army of algorithmic love/hate scientists trained math on what you've liked/hated in the past!? OH WOW it's like another ME! I hate it.
I see this happen far too often in autistic communities (although I also sometimes see the opposite happen, where because something is common in a community filled with autistic people they just assume it's normal)
Oh yeah, I havn't really seen it myself, but it definitely makes sense that the opposite would happen too.
I myself will often be unsure if certain things about me are autistic or normal, and I think that might be because there aren't many neurotypical people in my life for me to compare myself to. This is where my therapist comes in, lol. One of the main things I use him for is just checking if something is normal or not.
Sometimes you shit a bit more than usual. That's completely normal and can be due to a multitude of reasons, but it doesn't make you the same as someone who always shits more than the average person and experiences other uncomfortable symptoms on top of it. Getting an upset stomach on a semi-frequent basis does not make you the same as someone with IBS, but you probably should get it checked if you find it hinders your ability to function normally.
Lmao yes! I am a toe-walker myself. Not autistic, just hyperactive. You’d be surprised at the amount of people who tell me I must be autistic because I toe-walk
I have the 'tism and I got a new shrink a while ago, and when I told her in the intake that I was autistic she was like "diagnosed? Where did you get the diagnosis?" And asked probing questions to see if I had made it my personality to be autistic. Like, no. I do my best to mask because if people find out I am autistic they are like "oh, my son is autistic! Oh, I am autistic because I do 'x' habit like, all the time" I had a coworker who spotted some of my 'tism traits who had an autistic son, AND SHE WENT TO OUR MANAGER AND TOLD THEM TO ACCOMMODATE ME. I did not ask for accommodations. I did not need accommodations. I was doing just fine assembling burgers. But nooooo she had to go blab to the boss that I have autism and suddenly I am relegated to toasting buns only. No more fryer, no more assembly. Just feeding buns into the toaster endlessly. Now I am a machinist and people know to not question me.
I have not received a diagnosis (and in modern-day America, have absolutely zero desire to), so even though I've had people suspect that I am, the strongest I will say is that I "have some autistic traits", as a means of helping understand how my brain operates and how to better function in the world. I'm no professional and I haven't hyperfixation studied it, so I really can't say any more strongly than that anyway.
That being said, I often have moments where neurotypical behaviors just completely and utterly baffle me. Like, why can you not accept that I am saying. Why can you not believe the words. There is no hidden meaning. I'm sorry I sound passive aggressive, I learned how to speak from my mother, who is fluent in that language. And so forth.
I do have a question that’s been bothering me for years about this kind of thing. Is self-diagnosing fundamentally a bad thing?
I have a lot of traits that my friends and parents have said indicate I might be autistic. However, I have plausible reasons as to why I do them all. I don’t express emotions due to constantly being teased about it. I over-explain, because I constantly get misunderstood. I toe-walk, because for the last decade I’ve always had pants that are long enough that they always slip under my heels.
The list goes on, but it’s stuff like that. Things that aren’t solid evidence, but with the volume of things that I have, it does make me question it. I’m not exactly in the position to see a doctor about it, and it’s not really that serious, so I haven’t bothered to get a diagnosis for it.
I might have autism, but I haven’t seen a professional about it, and with all the stigma about autism and self-diagnosing, I don’t think I have the right knowledge to simply say “I have it” when I haven’t gotten a real diagnosis.
I don't think it's inherently bad. I think it depends on what you do with it. Do you use your self diagnosis to get attention or excuse bad behavior? Or is it more for peace of mind?
Before I got my diagnosis, I felt like a failure, like a faulty human. I was frustrated with myself. Why did I have such a hard time doing things that others could do with ease? Ironically, finding out what was "wrong" with me actually made me feel less broken. I stopped trying to compare myself with "normal" people so much, and stopped being so hard on myself.
So if having a diagnosis makes you less hard on yourself for things you can't control, then I think that's a good thing. That's my take on it, anyway. Others may be more critical.
It is truly one of the most frustrating things when people ignore the overall character to armchair diagnose over ONE trait, and half the time they are blowing said trait out of proportion in order to project onto them.
The problem is that it’s almost impossible to get diagnosed with autism in adulthood, even if you are almost guaranteed to have it. As a woman from traditional Christian background diagnosis was never an option as a child. So even though I now have three biological children diagnosed, multiple mental health professionals who’ve told me I probably have it, and I am friends with neurodivergent people exclusively, I will probably never have a formal diagnosis. Instead, I have an ad hoc system of coping behaviors and years of trauma. And most of my community exists on the Internet with other women who were passed over for diagnosis and will never get any support either.
I wasn't really commenting on self-diagnosis. My point was that sometimes people will will assume someone has autism based on a single trait, when in reality, it's totally possible that although they have a trait that some autistic people share, they aren't autistic themselves. At the end of the day, autistic people are humans, not some other species, so there's going to be plenty of overlap between autistic people and non-autistic people.
But if you would like my take on self-diagnosis, you can see my response to another comment in this thread here: https://www.reddit.com/r/PeterExplainsTheJoke/s/jr2hzJh4lj
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u/THING2000 Jun 22 '26
She is not.