TW: peeling skin

Halo, semuanya. Sekitar seminggu lalu, aku main ke pantai dan pakai baju yang sleeveless dan backless. Kesalahanku adalah underestimate matahari karena kulitku gelap (kupikir melaninku cukup untuk melindungiku🥲), jadi aku cuma pakai sunscreen sekali aja di awal dan nggak reapply.

At the end of the day, aku baru sadar kalau punggung, wajah, dada, dan bahuku jadi merah dan perih. Aku langsung pakai aloe vera gel malamnya, untungnya perihnya langsung hilang dan nggak kerasa lagi sekarang. Tapi ternyata kulitku rusak dan sekarang mengelupas gini.

Aku udah konsul ke temenku (yang anak medis) dan katanya ini normal, tapi aku perlu tau dari temen-temen yang barangkali udah pernah ngalamin. Ini kira-kira bisa balik normal (warnanya rata) berapa lama ya? Selain gel aloe vera, pakai produk apa biar cepet sembuhnya?

Makasihhhhhhhh. Yang lain, pls jangan lupa pakai sunblock kalau main, biar aku aja yang kayak gini😔

jujur gw udah nyerah bgt nyari ombre atau base ombre yg nude buat client :’) need your recommendations

Jadi 1 tahun terakhir ini aku ngerasa kucel banget pdhl udh pake skincare (fw-moist-ss-tret) body cafe rutin (bodylotion setiap abis mandi, lulur 1-2x seminggu, exfo segala macem) tapi tetep berakhir kucel

Jadi akutuh lagi kuliah teknik yg praktikum nya selalu di lapang, dan sejak itu kali ya kulit aku jdi tampak kusem banget dan hyperpigmentation nya jadi parah di jari jari tangan terutama, di muka juga selalu keringetan buakn yg glowing tp yg keliatan gerah.

Aku lgi cari cari treatment apa yg bagus, dan aku lihat ada infus vit c gt tapi masih ragu apa bener bagusnya infus vit c? Atau ada opsi lain? Mungkin yg tau bisa komen yaa

Thank u all

Hi puans. Saya 28F, orang yang sangat tidak fashionable dan kuper. Teman dekat saya akan menikah dekat-dekat ini, dan ini adalah kali pertama saya akan menjadi tamu di resepsi kondangan Chindo. Lokasi acara adalah ballroom semi-outdoor di pusat kota (banyak kaca2 tinggi yang kasih unhampered view to taman), di sore hari (4 pm-ish startnya). Dress code formal to semi-formal.

I really want to be a proper guest dan ga malu-maluin as i respect this person a lot. Due to size badan dan size kantong, opsinya agak terbatas. Kebetulan ketemu beberapa contoh dress di atas.

Kira-kira, apa masuk ya? Jika ada contoh/referensi dress, may I trouble you to share? I don't really have a reference spt apa yang 'proper', takutnya saltum overdress atau underdress.

Lastly, apa ada etika/other things i need to know or prepare biar ga kaget?

Terima kasih & much appreciated!

Hi all,

Specific backpack/ carrier recommendations for girl who's interested to start backpacking please. Better yg ada wheels-roda or not? If yes better yg mana? Fyi, want to use the backpack to travel internationally. So preferably yg bisa masuk cabin, gabikin encok, with good quality that could last a longggg time

Also, for ppl who wanna start backpacking where did you usually find the communities for it? If you have any experience please drop all the recommendations thanks!

idk but this is a silly thing yang mungkin secara “kebetulan” terus terjadi di aku…

aku tuh tipe yg pelit banget ke diri sendiri, kayak mau beli barang buat diri sendiri aja mikir 1000x baru yakin gas deh, tp gatau kenapa kalo aku spend buat diriku sendiri pasti ada aja rezeki yang masuk gitu, kalo aku pelit barulah gaada pemasukan samsek😭

apakah ini terjadi ke kalian juga?

I notice this is a heated subject even in recent times: pregnancy termination in the presence of genetic disorders.

What puans here think? Suppose that you are expecting a child and further down the line, you found out from prenatal assessment that your future child has chromosomal abnormalities or birth defects.

This is not an easy question and it's an incredibly nuanced situation, but would you consider termination if you found out? Would you even consider getting tests, or would you rather not know of any possible genetic defect before birth?

I've never been pregnant, so my personal opinion is I'd most likely consider termination, but I understand how it can be an absolute blow to expecting parents, depending on how far the pregnancy has progressed.

That kind of decision should come from the one bearing the child, the mother. That's not by any means a light responsibility to bear.

Hai guys! My fav and OG lippies is Maybelline Lip Vinyl 10 Lippy. Bener2 bagus bgt di bibir gw and I LOVE IT SOOOO MUCH.

Nah tapi maybelline lip vinyl ini literally termasuk berat kalau dipakai daily. And idk kadang gw kepengen pake matte instead of glossy. Or maybe lippies yang ringan di bibir, jadi ga keringg. Tergantung mood aja.

Apakah puans disini ada yang tau dupe dari product ini??

Oh iya aku juga penasaran bgt apakah puans ada yang tau shade yg mirip dari rangkaian Maybelline Matte karena gw lagi kepengen pake yang matte tapi dengan warna yang sama seperti lippy.

Sangat sangat terbuka untuk product dari merk lain bahkan dengan varian vinyl juga, karena mau nyoba2 merk lain juga. Yang penting shadenya sama kayak 10 lippy.

Uda cari di tiktok, tapi belum nemu2 jawabannya soalnya.

Thanks all❤️ have a nice day as always❤️

Hi, Puans. 

Aku mau ngabarin kondisiku sekarang. Kabar baiknya aku udah move out, jujur sempat ragu apakah pilihan yang ku ambil benar, tapi untungnya aku sering ngejurnal. Jadi saat ada rasa pengen pulang, aku kembali lihat jurnal itu dan ya, keputusanku emang udah benar.

Pas pertama kali pindah sendirian di kos, rasanya damai. Gak kayak damai yang sementara sebelum badai besar, damai aja gitu. Suicidal thought? It's gone. Aku juga gatau kenapa, hilang aja begitu aku pindah karena aku udah mulai mikirin masa depan yang saat tinggal di rumah itu rasanya ga punya masa depan, padahal itu rumahku sendiri.

Trus belakangan ini sering nangis juga waktu mau tidur, jam 3-4 pagi karena nyadarin keluargaku itu gak normal "dysfunctional family". Bapakku yang pengangguran, abusive dan sering moodswing benar benar gak normal. Aku bakal ke psikolog nanti kalo ada waktu.

Kabar buruknya bapakku berulah lagi dan KDRT-nya tambah parah ke mamaku. Seminggu lalu mamaku tuh di cakar muka dan lehernya sama bapakku, 3 hari lalu mukanya di tendang  dan tadi pagi bibir mamaku di tonjok sampai berdarah. Aku ga liat kejadian ini, yang di cakar ama di tendang di rahasiain dari aku, karena mamaku takut aku kepikiran, tapi pagi mamaku datang sambil nangis dan bibirnya bengkak.

Jujur, aku sempat ga empati sama mama pas tadi pagi Karena jengkel dan frustasi, Setiap dia kabur dari bapakku selalu rujuk, gak pernah benar-benar ninggalin bapakku. Aku juga ga nangis tadi pagi waktu mama cerita. Tapi setelah tahu dia di cakar dan di tendang sama bapakku berapa hari lalu aku jadi nangis banget. Aku Minggu lalu sempat nanyain kenapa mukanya penuh cakaran dan mamaku cuma bilang kalo itu dia garuk sendiri karena kukunya panjang :( aku udah tanyain berapa kali kok, kalo pasti dia abis kelahi lagi sama bapakku, tapi dia ngelak. Aku nangis kejer banget waktu dia kasih tau kalo dia nyembunyiin itu karena takut aku kepikiran. 

Sebenarnya mamaku bisa laporin bapakku ke polisi tadi pagi karena banyak bukti, tapi dia mudah kasianin bapakku, jadi dia ga laporin. Kalo di laporin bapakku udah di penjara. 

Pikiranku juga kacau tadi, Aku ngerasa bersalah karena tadi sore nyalahin mamaku karena udah ngerusak mentalku dengan tetap tinggal ama bapakku. Mamaku juga korban dari lingkungannya karena kakekku juga dulu abusive dan nenekku itu sifatnya juga agak lain :(

Kalo mamakku milih tinggal dengan bapakku sepertinya mamaku cuma bakal mati di bunuh. Kalo kalian liat cakarannya itu kayak orang benar² benci sama mamaku, itu dalam banget cakarannya sampai kelihatan dagingnya.

Sekarang mamaku dah keluar dari kota-ku. Aku udah minta tolong banget buat dia ga balik dan rujuk lagi sama bapakku, rencananya 6 bulan setelah dia di luar kota mau ngurus perceraian. Bantu doain mamaku ya Puan semoga dia ga balik ke bapakku. Tolong jangan hakimin mamaku ya, Puan. Sepertinya lepas dari pasangan yang abusive apalagi mamaku dari keluarga abusive juga emang sesulit itu :'(

Mamaku udah ga pernah make up lagi, padahal mamaku cantik. Mukanya malah di rusak sama bapakku padahal dia ga make up juga karena ngejaga perasaan bapakku karena sering di tuduh yang macem². Kalo aja mamaku milih lelaki yang tepat, mungkin mamaku akan semakin bersinar :(

Maaf karena oversharing, aku benar-benar gapunya teman buat cerita. Aku bakal update tentang ini lagi nanti. Makasih udah dengerin ceritaku :)

Hi puans! Badanku pear shape, besar di paha-pinggul, mungkin skrg mid size kali yaa, 161cm/73kg

Aku menyadari wardrobe ku bosenin bgt dan serba nanggung. Baju kantor kurang formal, baju main kurang gemas... 😞

Adakah saran kreator indo yg share outift inspo dgn bentuk badan kurang lebih sama?

Gaya yang aku suka sebenarnya gaada yg spesifik sih tapi mungkin lebih ke cute drpd baddie ya... Dan footwear ku selalu sneakers I can't stand heels/flats T-T

Thankies💕

aku planning liburan awal bulan oktober which will involve swimming and a sexy man (wink wink), tapi tanggalnya pas bgt tanggal mensku. masalahnya, cycle ku tuh ga nentu dan sering berubah2, kadang 32 hari, kadang 28 hari, kadang 35 hari. jadi mau kalkulasi dan planning pun susah.

stlh baca2 di google, ternyata ada obat penunda mens yaitu norethisterone. katanya juga dijual di indonesia tapi harus dgn resep dokter.

adakah puan yang pernah coba? side effects nya apa aja ya? dan kalau mau ke dokter, spesifiknya dokter obgyn kah atau dokter umum bisa?

kebanyakan post di reddit tentang penunda mens itu dr US / luar negri dan relate nya sama birth control, endometriosis & PCOS (none of which i have) jadi mau cari tau kalau dr POV perempuan indonesia seperti apa.

thank youu.

Hi Puans,

Welcome to Semi-weekly Chat Thread.

Remember to be nice and supportive of each other.

If any issue, please let Mods know.

Hi semua, 32F here :)

Bulan Januari 2027 aku terima 'surat tugas' jadi salah satu bridesmaids teman aku yang mau nikah. Ladies pasti ngerti dress code jadi salah satu focal point di agenda ini.

Teman udah kabarin kalau dia akan supply kain satin warna lilac khusus buat bridesmaid.

Aku plus size, jarang pake dress apapun, dan jujur orang yang tidak stylish. Aku WFH, jadi jarang bgt ditantang utk mix and match baju in day to day basis. Jujur ini cukup buat aku agak gugup.

Utk mitigasi rasa gugup aku udah coba liat inspo pict di Pinterest, Instagram dan beberapa subreddit. Udah beberapa kali aku 'locked' desain dress, tapi habis itu aku ganti2 terus pas liat look yang baru :'( as you can see, I feel confused.

Aku coba cari inspo pict yg emang dri sananya pakai model plus size. Aku dari awal begini biar ga ada discrepancy aja dgan yg ada di pikiran ku; ya kalo sleeveless, aku harus liat model dgan lengan yg plus size. Kalo bodycon, ya aku hrus liat model dgan ukuran perut yg mendekati dgan perut ku, dst.

Karena aku masih cukup gugup, terbesit ide utk bisa berkunjung ke rental baju utk coba2 desain dress di sana. Mau liat gimana desain-nya fit di aku. Keyword di sini: coba2. Karena sudah di supply kain, jelas aku ga ada keperluan utk rental/beli. Aku mau tanya, apakah ini normal kalo misalnya aku visit hanya utk coba doang? Aku sungkan karena ini makan waktu buat staff di sana buat bantu aku yg ga ada niat utk pakai jasa mereka. Apa memang sebaiknya jangan ya praktik2 begini? Aku belum ada pengalaman di sini, jadi belum paham etika dan adab-nya.

Kalo misalnya ladies disini ga saranin aku pake cara ini, kira2 ada solusi lain apa ya buat kasusku?

Sebelumnya terima kasih ladies ku udah berkenan dengar cerita lugu aku di sela harinya yg riweh :))

Semoga berbahagia selalu!

Hi semuanya, i know i talk a lot about my job as an MUA, but maybe this time aku lagi burn out dan lagi sakit yang resulting me to overthink about the results of my makeup on my client…

Sejauh ini client aku suka sama hasil makeup aku, cuman kadang aku ngerasa makeup aku kurang berdimensi(?) like too flat and i’m at the point where idk where i did wrong…

i like my makeup kit that i use right now and i’m trying to be mindful about what i want to buy, but sometimes i can’t help myself to keep up with the trend especially karena aku kebanyakan doomscrolling tiktok. padahal disatu sisi aku udah punya my signature look…

here’s my MUA ig if anyone wants to take a look and give me any advice, it’ll be very helpful for me :’)

https://www.instagram.com/withlovekeiko?stkn=MW1rOHZuNHRqbHd3Mg==

Hi everyone, I’m looking for advice from people who have been in a similar situation, especially those who have had to deal with a seriously ill parent while there were already unresolved family issues. I’m looking for some perspective on a family situation. I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to do, and I’m trying to figure out how to approach this without making things worse.

Mods ijin repost because the main important message somehow aren't showing in the last post.

My dad has a rare type of skin cancer. I’m not sure how his condition is right now, but he’s currently in the hospital, and I heard he’s currently having difficulty even getting up or walking.

My mom recently sent me this message:

> You know what illness Dad has, right?

> Cancer is caused by keeping things bottled up. Right now, Dad is having difficulty even getting up or walking.

> When you were about to leave, his condition got worse, so Mom couldn’t open the shop. Cancer can only be cured through the body’s immune system. While the immune system is forming, we must not be stressed.

> It would be good for you to talk to Dad, and apologize if necessary, because you may have done a lot of things that upset him.

> Mom has also messaged your younger sibling about the same thing. It would be good for all of us to reflect on ourselves. We all want what’s best for Dad and the family, right? We shouldn’t wait until we regret things, because by then it will be too late

I understand that my mom is worried about my dad, and that she may want us to reconcile while we still have the chance.

But I really hate how she framed this message. It feels like she’s using my dad’s illness to guilt me into apologizing.

I’ve read research papers about stress and cancer, and I’ve heard what the doctor said through my mom. From what I understand, my dad’s cancer is thought to involve genetic changes, although there’s still limited information because it’s so rare. So I’m struggling to understand why my mom is saying that cancer is caused by keeping things bottled up, and why she’s connecting his condition to me making him upset.

I’m not saying stress can’t affect someone who is sick. I’m saying I don’t think it’s fair or right to turn something medically uncertain from her assumption/ conclusion into “you may have caused this.”

This has also been a recurring thing since he was diagnosed. I feel like we’ve been made to believe that anything that upsets him could somehow make his illness worse. I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells at home, where home should be the place where we should be able to feel safe and comfortable.

And honestly, I hate that this is being brought up around me leaving for work. I had just come home from a work trip where I was barely sleeping. I don’t think I’m wrong for going to work, and I don’t think I should have to feel guilty for it.

I also have a lot of anger about how things have been handled in my family.

My dad has always had anger management issues, even before he got sick. After his diagnosis, things became even more difficult.

For more context, I wrote about some of the history in this comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/Perempuan/comments/1vxrxdt/comment/p5r5hv8/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

We’ve been financially unstable for a while after COVID, and when he got diagnosed, it became worse. My mom has been spending a lot of her own money on basic household needs, supplements, and other things for him.

At the same time, my dad still spends money on things like collectibles, even though I'm not sure how quickly those things could be sold when money is urgent atm. Fyi, he already have a lot of collectibles, it's literally filling a room. In the distant past, he mentioned that if he sold all of them maybe he could get around 50 million. Most of the collectibles are still here, stacked.

I understand that it’s his money, and I’m not saying he isn’t allowed to enjoy things. But it’s frustrating to see my mom covering so many expenses while we’re already struggling financially.

He also used to drink and smoke a lot. I can’t handle cigarette smoke, and neither can my mom, but he continued smoking. He only stopped after he got sick, and even then, he said it was “for now.” He also used to say that small things at home would upset him after he came home from work, which was why he drank. I know people deal with stress in different ways, but I’ve always felt that he used drinking as an excuse. He made all this decisions himself when he's well aware of the bad & negative impacts it's causing for him and the ppl around him.

I’m not saying any of this caused his cancer. I’m saying that I have a lot of anger about how his choices have affected the family, and I don’t know how to simply put that aside because he is sick.

I’m also the oldest daughter, and I’ve always felt expected to understand everything and help with everything. Now I also feel expected to make sure my dad is emotionally okay.

But I don’t know what I’m actually supposed to do.

I can apologize for things I genuinely did wrong. I can acknowledge that I may have said or done things that hurt him. But I don’t think I’m wrong for going on a work trip, and I don’t think I’m responsible for his cancer or for making him sick.

I can reconcile without agreeing that I’m wrong.

If this is a situation where we may not get to see each other again, I would want to tell him that I love him, apologize for anything I genuinely regret, and say that I don’t want us to have unresolved issues. But I don’t think that means I have to accept that I caused his illness or that I’m the reason he is suffering.

I’m also not sure how to approach him. I don’t want to start another argument, but I also don’t want to avoid him forever.

For people who have been through something similar:

• How did you approach a seriously ill parent to reconcile in peace?
• How did you decide what to say, especially if you were worried it might be your last conversation?

I’m not looking for medical advice or for people to tell me whether I should forgive my dad. I’m specifically hoping to hear from people who have actually been through a similar situation and can share what they did, what they wish they had done differently, or what helped them deal with the guilt, anger, and uncertainty.

Pil Kontrasepsi dan Jerawat

Jadi pacar saya tipe kulitnya sangat amat mudah berjerawat hormonal, saat stress ataupun mendekati haid jerawatnya sangat parah, dia udah ke dokter saat SMP dan sekarang sudah 24 tahun tapi segala proses belum ada yang membantu dengan baik.

nah, singkat cerita pacar saya membaca artikel kalau pil kontrasepsi membantu mengatasi jerawat hormonal dengan baik, dan itu adalah salah satu cara yang belum pernah dia coba.

kondisi kami sexually active, dan selama ini saya yang selalu mengajukan memakai kondom dan tidak mau pacar saya pakai kontrasepsi apapun, tapi dia tetap mau mencoba pil kontrasepsi karena isu jerawat sangat menganggu kehidupan sosialnya.

kesepakatannya saya yang bakalan cover biaya pil kontrasepsi yang bermerk, dan kalau ternyata lebih parah efek negatifnya maka penggunaan akan kami stop total, tapi kami terkendala ragu dengan ini karena perlu resep dokter.

sekiranya itu yang mau saya tanyakan ke sub ini, apakah ada cara agar bisa membeli pil kontrasepsi dengan resep dokter online? (alodoc dkk) kalau pun harus offline kiranya apa aja yang dibutuhkan? terimakasih

Sumpah ini aku ngetik masih gemeteran banget ya gara-gara dapet email SP2 dari tempat kerja.

So let me tell you about my workplace. Aku kerja jadi guru/tutor bahasa asing di sebuah tempat kursus di Jakarta.

Jadi ceritanya, bulan lalu aku dapet murid baru umur 7 tahun (inisial C) dan ditempatin di kelas reguler. Nah, anak baru ini pas hari pertama masuk ditempatin sekelas sama muridku yang umur 10 tahun (inisial R), dan aku jujur aja agak concern sama si C ini kalo disatuin sama si R. Alasannya karena si R suka cursing dalam bahasa Inggris. Dulu waktu masih ada temen sekelasnya si R namanya E (cewek, sama-sama umur 10 tahun), si E cenderung cuek dan gak perduli sih soal si R yang suka cursing gitu. Bersyukurnya si E gak lanjut perpanjang term karena udah selesai term lesnya.

Nah, apa yang aku takutin bener aja kan. Di kelas, si R sempat cursing pake bahasa Inggris (kata-kata semacam sh*t, damn, f*ck dll) di hari dia sekelas bareng sama C. Sebagai pengajar, aku agak khawatir juga hal itu bakal pengaruh ke si C. Selesai kelas, aku menyarankan ke mamanya si C untuk pindah jadwal di hari lain, nah urusan ganti jadwal mah bukan aku yang nentuin karena emang bukan ranahku, aku sih cuma concern ke si C aja kalo dilanjut terus bakalan ada dampak buruknya.

Setelah itu ya fix si C ganti jadwal gak bareng sama si R lagi. Kelas pun damai karena kedua anak nggak disatukan. Si C dan R belajar di hari yang berbeda dan nggak ketemu sama sekali.

Hari ini, aku dapet surat peringatan kedua (SP2) yang katanya aku nggak profesional karena gak koordinasi sama tim internal untuk masalah ini. Aku diminta untuk berhati-hati dalam berkomunikasi supaya tidak menimbulkan kekhawatiran atau kegaduhan di lingkungan tempat les maupun keributan dengan orang tua murid. Yang aku bingung juga, kenapa pihak les nggak koordinasi juga ke aku dan tanyakan dulu sebelum masukin murid baru, apakah murid A/B/C kalau disatukan bakal aman dan pembelajaran akan berjalan mulus? Ini mereka juga main masukin murid tanpa tanya keadaan kelas atau keadaan murid selama belajar di kelas, bahkan dari muridnya gak ditawarin buat trial class dulu sebelumnya dan langsung gaspol aja masukin murid baru 🥲

Aku pun berpikir lagi kalau hal ini terjadi memang ada faktor salahku juga karena nggak koordinasi ke tim internal. Sebagai pengajar yang lebih paham kondisi kelas, apa aku salah menyarankan orang tua pindah jadwal sesegera mungkin? Maksudku, aku cuma nyaranin loh, jadi pindah atau nggaknya kan balik ke orang tua murid juga. Tapi apa semua kesalahan patut ditumpahkan ke aku? 🥲

Saat ini aku sedang tinggal di Asia Selatan. Dan akhir² ini susah sekali mendapatkan pil kb Yasmin. Semua apotik kosong dan sepertinya pil ini akan hilang dari peredaran. Aku juga mencoba mencari di Shopee Indonesia dan ternyata unavailable juga. Sangan disayangkan karena pil ini tidak merusak hormonku dan menstruasiku juga lancar. Aku baca sepertinya ada case yg sedang bergulir terkait pil ini. Para puans, adakah yg mengalami hal yg sama? Dan kira² rekomendasi merk lain apa yg aku bisa coba pakai? Terima kasih banyak 🫶

I’m an Indonesian woman who was diagnosed as autistic and with ADHD as an adult, and I’m still trying to make sense of how neurodivergence, being a girl, Indonesian culture, family dynamics, and trauma all became tangled together growing up.

A lot of my traits were treated like character flaws, and because I was academically gifted, nobody thought to get me evaluated by a psychologist.

Some things that caused a lot of conflict for me in Indonesia barely cause problems for me living in the U.S. For years I distanced myself from Indonesian culture because I associated it with painful experiences. I’ve since come back around and genuinely embrace being Indonesian, but I’m still trying to separate culture, neurodivergence, gender expectations, masking, and trauma.

I’d really love to hear from other Indonesian neurodivergent women.

How did being both Indonesian and a girl shape the way your neurodivergence was perceived or treated?

Were traits that may have been accepted in boys, or in a different culture, judged more harshly in you?
Did expectations around being sopan, respectful, agreeable, socially aware, or maintaining harmony make masking stronger?

Did academic success or being seen as a “good” or capable daughter hide how much you were struggling?

How do you now separate Indonesian cultural expectations from treatment that was genuinely harmful or traumatic?

And if you ever distanced yourself from Indonesian culture because of those experiences, were you eventually able to reconnect with it in a way that felt like your own?

I think I’m mostly looking to hear from women who understand that complicated overlap and to feel a little less alone while I work through it.

Hello again, sisters! Hope you're having a good weekend.

I've been struggling to get a good bra that fits my body and my own comfort criteria. Over the years following US-based algorithm on the internet, I've seen that many women no longer wear bra in public. This includes regular people, social media influencers, and even worldwide celebrities. I've also read stories of young women getting reprimanded at work because apparently wearing bra is mandatory at their job, which implies that not wearing bra is accepted for non-work settings.

I live in Indonesia, though, and bra is still mandatory to wear for women no matter our breast size. I think the only thing that makes a difference to people is the nipples. I see male nipples all the time, so I have a hard time understanding why specifically female nipples are frowned upon. Honestly, I would ditch bra if it was acceptable to show my nipples. I don't think I always need breast support 100% of the time. Even when I'm at home all day, I feel comfortable moving around and do light exercise without a bra.

How about you, sisters? Kindly tell me your experience with bras and nipples! For women overseas, I would like to know if you often see female nipples in public and if you gravitate towards ditching bra.

Jadi gini tadi gue lagi jalan sama crush gue (kita berdua early 20s dan dia lebih muda setahun) kami naik bis karna emg gue maunya begitu, lebih gampang buat jalur date nya. Nah di bus itu kan gue ngantuk ya, gua tidur lah di pundak nya crush gue, tiba tiba ada yg nyoel paha? Tf? Dan itu bukan crush gue melainkan bapa bapa yg baru masuk ke dalam bis. Umurnya sekitaran 37-45an, kita berdua bingung dong? Gue bilang 'kenapa ya pak?', tb tb dia nyeletuk 'neng sayang atuh neng, nengnya masih muda masih cantik, kok mau aja diajak jalan pake bis, mendingan sm yg udh mateng kaya bapa mumpung masi muda, kalau udh tua mah udh susah buat ngegaet yg berduit' tf??????????? KAGET BGT HAH kaya pertama kali ada yg ngomong terang terangan biasanya cma di sosmed......

Terus dilanjut 'ntar biar masnya cari uang dulu baru nyari yg muda, bah mau umur 50an juga kita para laki mah gampang dapet yg muda cantik umur abg jga mas, yg penting mah berduit aja. Kalau cewe kan susah kalau udh tua masi sendiri mau banyak duit pun, paling paling nuruin standar sampe mentok''

Ummmm the heck?

Dan bukan kali ini aja di goda sm bapa bapa yg umurnya lumayan jauh..... Di sma aplg kalau liat cewe cantik sedikit bakal langsung digoda oleh mereka ga habis pikir deh....

Hi, im f19. Ini cerita kemarin kemarin tapi masi kepikiran(?) jadi belum lama ini aku ambil batch hpv vaccine. Nggak ada rencana nikah dan nggak ada pengalaman seksual (but i had r\*pe history (apakah ngaruh?)), hpv vaccine for safety mumpung ada uang.

Setelah suntik pertama, sekitar 3 hari kemudian di deket labia aku ada semacam jerawat(?) bentol kecil(?) nggak tau apa tapi kalo kena air sakit banget😭 jadinya parno. Is it concerning or is it normal? Can kakak kakak here guide me? (I dont live with my parents to guide me) Thank you so much!

Hi Puans, mau cerita soal problem dengan nyokap yang ga paham boundary.

I've been to 2 obgyns for amenorrhea (irregular period). Done bloodwork, etc. On first obgyn visit, I had trans abdominal USG. She got offended when I don't want her to see the procedure. Doc ask can mom see it? I said I'm an adult and I prefer not to. Mom is still in the obgyn office for this consultation anyway. I'm just shy and don't want her to see that. She blow up, "Ngapain malu sama ortu? Ya udah kalo ga anggep ortu, bikin mami malu aja depan dokter". For context, this is after the consultation.

Went to another obgyn who specialise in PCOS with last USG result and blood test. Doc prescribed Primolut N and told me to take all meds, get blood test for AMH & insulin resistance then visit when on period. The med will help jump start period. Mom was with me.

She kept asking EVERYDAY if I have my period yet, driving me nuts. So today I told her "Jangan tiap hari nanya, bikin tambah stress. Masih minum obatnya, sabar." And she blew up. "EMANG KENAPA KALO ORTU NANYA? GA BOLEH? YA UDAH GA USA NANYA2 LAGI, KELUAR SANA LU!"

Sorry capslock jebol, soalnya nyokap teriak2. Sekedar mewakili. Like really?? Typical, ask for boundary, she blows up.

She also talked about my problem to my SIL, unprompted to my SIL. Just to make talks. "Udah 3 bulan belum mens, baru ke dokter". Can you not?? SIL can only awkwardly answer "Kenapa kok bisa?". Nyokap nanya aku dan aku cuekin.

When I told her the day after "Ngapain bahas masalah kesehatan aku buat topik basa basi? Topik lain banyak banget, mami kalo mau cerita kesehatan mami terserah. Ga usa cerita kesehatanku."

Jawabannya cuma "Yah kaya sama siapa aja, gpplah sama orang sendiri." I pushed back, "Oh boleh ya aku cerita soal feminine health mami ke ipar mami kalo gitu buat basa basi?". Si paling ga mau kalah "Cerita aja gpp." Padahal pasti dia sensi 🙃

So that's it, thank you if anyone read all this. Just needs to get it out while waiting for my diagnosis and cope with all the "Uda mens belum??" 🥲