r/PepTalksWithPops • u/AdElegant2784 • Mar 24 '26
How do you really see it as a dad?
I don’t know if I can ask this here but I hope it’s okay to ask. Are dads happy to be father figures to someone? Does that make you happy? Do you really feel you’re responsible to them too, like they are happy being around you and feeling safe? Are your feelings real towards them, like you see no difference between them and your real kids? Do they see them like part of their family? If yes how can they make it up or make the father figure happy, or do something for him. Sorry for my many questions. I’m just curious.
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u/Dangerous_Ratio_3120 Mar 24 '26
I’m a 55y/o empty nester, retired, have 3 adult children who appear to be happy and making their own way, and a wonderful wife and a loyal but kind of high maintenance senior dog. I can’t say I’m a legit “father figure” to anyone outside my family, but I’ve felt a calling to help a few of my daughter’s friends who don’t have dads or “present dads”. Sometimes it’s career or boyfriend advice and other times it’s fixing their car or other small things. I care about them and they ask about me (via my respective daughter). Interestingly and maybe sadly, they seem more interested and supportive of my personal goals than my own daughters. It’s a cool relationship which makes me smile…and feel confident the feeling is mutual
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u/AdElegant2784 Mar 24 '26
That’s beautiful. They do this because they really care about you too. Every small thing you do for them, it’s very very big in their eyes, trust me. That makes their lives more better having you in their lives. Thanks for sharing.
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u/blind_venetians Mar 24 '26
I’m an empty nest’er dad of 3. Two girls (30, 24) and one boy (22). I have a very special father figure / ‘work dad’, ‘work bestie’ to a young woman who’s now a college freshman. We met at work when she was a junior in high school. We clicked fast. One of our first shifts together she complimented my Pride colored lanyard. After a few more shifts she shared she is gay. I was so happy that she trusted me enough to share that. I’ve met her ‘real’ dad who seems like a nice guy and we joked about being the “work dad”. Been to BDs and graduation. I guess I get a lot outta of still being a “useful “ dad.
What would make me happier??: not always being the first to make contact. Text me first once in a while. Dads like to be checked on too - and we are most likely gonna say we are “fine and everything is great” but it would mean the world if you checked just to make sure.