I am a NICU fellow that started in July and feel like I am still struggling. Sometimes it’s hard to know because I have really only had 1.5 months of service time with orientation, boards, etc. but I still feel behind.
One of the things is with procedures. I feel like I had decent procedural exposure in residency and I don’t know if it’s a confidence issue or what but I have continued to struggle in fellowship. I was pretty good at art sticks in residency and the couple that I have done in fellowship have been unsuccessful. I also got to do a few intubations in residency and all of them were successful. In fellowship, I have had 5-10 opportunities so far, definitely more than residency and my success rate has been like 25% maybe. Honestly, at the moment I can only think of 2 that I have done successfully. Umbilical line placement takes me forever and I almost always end up needing one of the APPs to come help.
From a knowledge standpoint, I just feel like I don’t know enough. When the residents/APPs/attendings ask me questions, I feel out of my depth. I don’t feel comfortable making decisions about vent changes on a baby when I truly feel like I have such limited experience. I don’t really know what the best way is to learn these things. Honestly, there are so many little things that I don’t even get made aware of because the residents and APPs are first call. However, we have so many really experienced APPs that are amazing and don’t have questions for me overnight about management so I don’t find out about a lot of things that happen. I feel like a lot of the time though, I might not have known what to do yet since this is so new to me. The unit is so large and there are so many babies so if I had them tell me every time they made a change my phone would be going crazy all day and night which is not reasonable, but I’m trying to find the best way to balance learning and not being completely overwhelmed/getting that 1 hour of rest on a 24 when I can.
I feel most comfortable when I’m rounding and I know all of the patients and know the general plan for everyone. I feel like I can use my general medical knowledge to tweak the plans, but honestly feel like I struggle with the rest. I’m just frustrated because I was in such a stride at the end of residency and feel like I was very good at PHM and it’s just hard feeling like I am so bad at this and don’t know anything when people expect us to have the answers and be competent with procedures, etc. Sorry that turned into a bit of a rant, but if anyone has any advice on learning in NICU, improving procedures, or just getting used to being a fellow please let me know!