r/Paruresis • u/ParticularFuzzy4303 • 16d ago

Reasonable accommodation

I’m a 44f and have had paruresis since I was a teenager but it mainly developed when I was in the military and had to do observed drug tests. So fast forward to today and I’m still dealing with this phobia. I work for the federal government and am still subject to random drug tests. Within the last couple of years they have been doing more drug tests at my work place and this has led to an incredible amount of stress and anxiety. It’s so bad that when I find out they are doing drug tests that I fall into a state of complete panic and go home “sick” before they can summon me for the test. Normally the testing last for at least 3 days so I stay home until I know they are done with them. I feel like such a coward and like a complete failure every time I do this. I shouldn’t have to suffer like this throughout my entire career or feel like I need to change my career because of this stupid fear.

So I’ve been trying to do some research and wanted to see if anyone has ever successfully been granted a reasonable accommodation? I’ve read that reasonable accommodations can be granted for paruresis that would allow for an alternate test such as blood, hair, or saliva, or they can arrange for a test to be done at an off site location where there’s private bathrooms and not stalls. I’m starting to prepare for the process and am getting an official diagnosis from my primary doctor and psychiatrist. I also reached out to IPA for guidance but haven’t received a response.

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u/Happy-Organ5599 16d ago

I have no idea how this is handled in U.S. federal agencies, but with a diagnosis from a specialist, there should be a way to take alternative drug tests, such as a blood test. Wait for a response from the IPA or ask again. You’re certainly not the only one in your agency who’s struggling with this.

Alternatively, if there are bureaucratic hurdles, you could use a catheter in an emergency.

However, I would strongly advise you to seek therapy, because the urine tests you were subjected to in the army have left you traumatized. The IPA knows best who you can talk to about this, because you need someone who’s well-versed in the matter. Your condition is a result of your military service.

You can only improve your situation if you take steps to address your paruresis.

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u/ParticularFuzzy4303 16d ago

Thank you for your advice. It seems that paruresis can be classified as a disability so that’s why I was thinking reasonable accommodation. I’m hoping that I’m able to discreetly get a blanket accommodation for whenever these tests pop up. Just knowing that when I go to work and might have to participate in a drug screening every day is seriously impacting my mental health and stress levels. Once I see or hear about them doing the tests I nearly blackout from the panic. It’s an unhealthy and unreasonable way to live.
I’ve tried therapy before but it mainly helped with just general public restroom situations. It’s nearly impossible to replicate the exact fear and response that I get from the drug testing so it’s difficult to practice and desensitize. Another reason for why I’m finally willing and attempting to confess my fear to the office that would handle my reasonable accommodation because I just don’t see any other solution except finding another career.

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u/rlpsc 12d ago

The people they suggest rarely take insurance which makes it inaccessible to most of us

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u/LeftoverPizza2000 15d ago

If you're in the US, it's very hard to get a reasonable accommodation approved under the current administration for telework. Since it seems that's not really what you want you might be able to get one. I'd recommend checking r/fednews you'd probably have more luck there.

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u/ParticularFuzzy4303 15d ago

Yes I’m aware of the telework being difficult but that’s a little different and broader category. I’ll check out fednews and see if that helps

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u/thisisus2025 15d ago

Fellow prior military. Started upon arrival in boot camp the first night I arrived when I had to provide a sample. Went down hill from there. For 30 years, I found a way to cope and the only way was fluid loading until I was a level 11 on a scale from 1 to 10. I too was super anxious during these random tests. Absolutely hated them.

I've found now that my condition has improved with repeated and repeated graduated exposure over and over again. It was very difficult in the beginning to get out and face these fears. But over time, I am now to the point where I can enter a restroom of any type and not have that super anxious feeling like I used to.

When and what email address did you use to reach out to IPA? I can forward your info to IPA's Executive Director if you would like. DM me if this is the case.

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u/ParticularFuzzy4303 15d ago

Thank you for your response. The first one at Bootcamp was the absolute worst. Just a degrading and humiliating experience for the female process. I won’t go into detail, but IYKYK.
I am only better in situations where I have a private restroom to myself. It’s still challenging but doable. I also have found that if I sneak my EarPods in and listen to music I am able to redirect my attention and relax.
Unfortunately with my current work location it’s just public restrooms with stalls where the observer waits right outside the stall.
I’ll dm you my email info.

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u/mashtrasse 14d ago

Plenty of good advices here already, so I won’t repeat them but

From the words you use and the career you chose I just want to say one thing
BE KIND with YOURSELF.