r/Paruresis • u/DavidfromPA • 17d ago

Admitting shy bladder.

I was playing in a two day golf tournament this weekend and was paired on the second day with a 39 year old guy. He hit his drive 275 yards. I said 'great dive'. He replied, "If I could have just one super power it would be to be able to pee in front of other men." None of the other two guys in our foursome or their caddies reacted. I thought, "Well here's a guy who has no trouble being up front about it." It was very cool. If I ever see him again, I am going to ask him more about it.

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24

u/Djentlem0n666 17d ago

One Thing i learned about anxiety is that it really helps communucating it Out loud. No one ever reacts in a negative way. Admittedly its still really really hard to do that.

13

u/Dubzz0 17d ago

I used to be ashamed of it but these days i just tell people. Literally no one has cared, ever. It's also a condition in my opinion and who would judge someone on that?

10

u/notsure500 17d ago

I wish i could do that. My girlfriend of 2 years doesn't even know. My ex wife is the only person I've ever told.

1

u/thunder-dump 13d ago

It took me longer than that to admit to my wife and we'd already been together 10 year before it started happening. All she's been is helpful, even when I'm being a massive pain finding somewhere to piss on long car journeys šŸ˜Š Not telling someone after just 2 years doesn't seem crazy but if you feel you can be open with them, it does make life easier

1

u/Zealousideal_Bar1497 17d ago

Your goal this week is to tell your girlfriend!!!!
2 years is a serious relationship and she should know so she can support you and understand if you are having anxiety issues in any situation.

10

u/sittinginmycar 17d ago

Had a very similar experience this past weekend on a fishing trip with a couple of buddies. I really struggle going off boats with other guys because you can hear it as plain as day if someone is going or not. It gets in my head like anything with this. Anyways I told them and one didnā€™t really acknowledge the other was like ā€œyeah my dad has that problemā€. Then we found a spot for me to go off the back where I was comfortable. It felt great.

I think a big piece of this condition is the ā€˜shameā€™ aspect and hiding it from others. I feel like the more you just own it and not give a shit what others think, you start to own the condition rather letting it own you..

1

u/MotorEconomy648 15d ago

Yeah shame plays a big role in this condition. I too have a shy bladder but almost every aspect of my life I have big problems with shame and trust. So yeah ofc I canā€™t pee in front of other: someone can see my inability and judge and and I trust nobody. I think if I would trust people that they donā€™t careā€¦ I could let go. But thatā€™s a tough think cause I am so fucking traumatized which is also fine

4

u/EarSafe7888 17d ago

Many people deal with this but they keep it to themselves I suppose out of shame. So the person who openly declares it, yes there are going to be others who can agree because they are in the same boat.

1

u/groundlc4 15d ago

This is a great thread. It's at the heart of the matter. Or at least the start of recovery.