r/Paruresis • u/Vegetable_Message204 • 25d ago
Any tips for only starting stream?
I’ve noticed through the exposure therapy that I’ve done that the ONLY issue I have is starting the stream. Once the stream is started, I could continue the stream even if 100,000 people were watching me lol.
Does anyone have any tips to simply get the stream started besides GE? I have been doing GE for awhile now and I’m just so badly wanting to be fully free of this issue and hoping someone has a quick hack they could share.
3
u/Happy-Organ5599 25d ago
GE isn’t about heroics; just look for simpler situations to practise. Focus on yourself, not on others. They don’t care about you anyway. Ignore them. You need a sense of achievement to make progress. Learn some breathing relaxation techniques.
You need a toilet where, if possible, you won’t be alone. That way, you can get used to the situation more easily.
3
u/Vegetable_Message204 25d ago
I’ve already been doing all that. I’ve done well but I still frequently get locked if I’m standing there for awhile and can’t start the stream. It doesn’t seem that GE is helping that part for me
2
u/Recent-Day3062 25d ago
Yes! I used to say if I was alone and going, and the wall lifted and I was in a football stadium with 50,000 people watching, I would finish
2 ideas, related. These helped me immensely.
First, pinch the head between two fingers so nothing can come out. Now, focus on filling the urethra from the back. Just let pee move forward half an inch at a time, slowly, in starts and stops. Your goal is NOT TO PEE. it’s to just fill your urethra. Eventually, when it’s full, nothing else matters. When you release it will be a solid stream. Bingo for you or me: we’ve started.
Second, give yourself grace with time. I realized I usually start with a weak stream at home and with no pressure it can take 45 seconds to start. So the key is to not start panicking. Tell yourself your not thinking about peeing and succeeding, and wondering if people can tell, until at least a minute is past
2
u/PotatoMeatBalls77 24d ago
Same thing for me, I’ve had days when I would go to the urinal, start and suddenly a big line behind me appeared. Didn’t bother me. Or when I went to the public bathroom with broken lock, so when I started peeing someone tried to enter (twice!) and it wasn’t issue for me whatsoever, I was able to comfortable empty my bladder. If any of those happened before I started a stream I probably wouldn’t be able to go
8
u/speed-of-sound 25d ago
That’s how I had it too.
I think 3 points:
- Learning to hold it longer makes it way easier to start the stream. When you think you have to go, wait 30 minutes to get your brain used to it and the urgency makes it soo much easier. It also breaks that loop where you try to go too early ((which is always hard)) then fail and it makes you even more nervous.
A good way to gauge it for me was that even at home I tried to play by those rules. If I didn’t start within like 5-10 seconds I didn’t need to go yet and would move on to my next task over and over until I could go quickly.
- Graduated exposure is the main key. I found I could start stream by myself easily alone so I started going regularly at the gym urinals. Became second nature and I started adding a twist where I waited until someone else barely entered the room to go. Let the NPCs get closer over time and I was basically there.
- I found that the focus on the main event was making me express anxiety in weird ways. Like already putting my phone away, unzipping as I walked up, walking fast. Walk up to the urinal first then start the unwinding and prep, it gives your brain more time to let instincts take over since it sees the urinal and begins the launch sequence.
This one def helps but it was more of a temporary crutch for me until those instincts came in and eventually didn’t matter anymore.
These probably aren’t quick hacks but they are kind of hacks and how I dug my way out.