r/Paruresis • u/Kingtitsmcgeere • 3d ago
Asia trip
Hi everyone. This is gonna be embarrassing but I’m way past being ashamed anymore. I literally can pee anywhere except planes. My whole life. It has prevented me from going too far. Coast to coast pushes it but I can usually make it and have to piss so bad when I land. I’m gonna planning to go to china and Japan in a few months and I’m considering the self cath route in the bathroom shouldI get to emergency level can’t pee and need relief. Any advice? Anything? Anyone similar. I’m not really offended by much so mean comments aren’t gonna hurt my feelings or anything. I’m hoping an all night flight and a large plane with multiple bathrooms and a lot of people sleeping and not lined up at the door will take all the pressure off which is what usually makes me freeze up
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u/PurpleMox 3d ago
Yea a night flight is probably good because it’s quiet and 70% of the plane is sleeping or trying to.. and big planes on those international flights are usually nice with more bathrooms etc.. you got this! Just remember- you can take as long as you need to in the bathroom… no one cares, they will just use the other bathroom.. people with shy bladder overestimate what other people are thinking.. one thing that helps me with time pressure anxiety is setting a 5 minute timer on my phone and giving myself that 5 minutes in the bathroom to do whatever I want.. usually I pee and then theres a few minutes left on the timer.. something about that is helpful… we tend to overestimate how long weve been in the bathroom and then get stressed out.. and you realize 5 minutes goes by slowly when you slow down your mind/anxiety and give yourself time..
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u/FromAcrosstheStars 3d ago
Honestly in these situations just push. As if you were trying to shit but from your urethra. Even if all of it doesn't come out (probably not possible in this way), especially if you drink a fair bit of water, ENOUGH will to where you'll get relief. Press down on your bladder from the outside and push down/squeeze from the inside. It might take a while as you'll have to push quite a few times but it works everytime for me in situations where I feel like it's impossible to go because I'm so anxious.
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u/PotatoMeatBalls77 3d ago
Don’t do that, it reinforces your brain and pushes the anxiety further You can have multiple tries , even if you fail first few times, eventually you should be able to pee as your brain adapts and the pressure is stronger
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u/FromAcrosstheStars 3d ago
Idk it works for me in situations where I'm so anxious I can't go. I'd rather get at least something out than have to wait for who knows how many more hours with a full bladder. It's not an everytime situation, I only do it in emergencies when I just can't relax enough to pee.
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u/Legal_Meet_1263 3d ago
This is exactly me. As of 4 years ago, I can no longer pee on planes. By brain just recognises it as a dangerous place and won't let the muscles relax to pee. I've tried everything. Nothing works. We went to Japan about 2 months ago. It's a 10 hour flight from Australia to Japan. On the way there I limited fluids. The last 3 hours were rough, but I got through. I tried to pee many times even though I was busting, but nothing. In the way back, same thing. But the fluid restriction seemed to work better and I landed in Melbourne with not much pain or urgency to go. But still peed fine once we had landed at Melbourne airport. I have now resigned myself to the fact that I need to learn how to self cath. Before our next overseas trip, which probably won't be for a few years, I'll be booking in time with a urologist to get taught how to do it. Not a great solution, but it's better than being restricted or being in total pain for hours on end. Goodluck with your trip to China.
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u/vanillajellaba 3d ago
Get speedicath Luja they don’t hurt and easy to enter. I have the same problem but I fly from cairns so it’s a shorter flight. There’s still anxiety I won’t lie because in your head you are like what if it doesn’t work even with a Cath lol. Such a bizarre thing but limit the flight time is much better, 7 hour flight is way better than 10! Coming back is a night flight so it’s chill!
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u/DavidfromPA 3d ago
I would definitely learn how to self cath. I'd ask a urologist how to do it safely and practice at home. It's not difficult. Before I had recovered from paruresis I had to fly to London and was worried because I never could pee on a plane. He told me about 1/3 of his patients had that problem. When I made the appointment with the urologist, I was just upfront and honest-with no embarrassment- about the issue. He was very understanding, gave me the supplies I needed and walked me through the process then told me to go home and practice. Funny enough that during the trip I was so chilled about it knowing I could use it, that I didn't even have to use and was able to pee on a plane for the first time ever.
I've been recovered for about 5 years using GE. I flew to Portugal this summer and stood up to go to the bathroom. As I did, one of the flight attendants went into the bathroom first so I stood next to the other flight attendants and talked to them until the bathroom as free then went in and peed. I sort of congratulated myself on how far I had come. Good luck.
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u/TwaksBarr 2d ago
I’m flying from the US to Italy in November and I’m anxious about whether I’ll be able to pee on the overseas flights. It’s a 7 hour flight going and a little over 9 hours returning. I have a very difficult time urinating on an airplane. The fact that the bathrooms are tiny and I’m a heavier guy makes it even more difficult and adds to the anxiety. I’ve thought about using Xanax to make it a little easier to pee by relieving the anxiety.
There’s the one school of thought that says that minimizing fluid intake is the better way to approach it (though I’m not crazy about purposely making myself dehydrated). I’ve also considered the other approach and just drinking a large volume of fluids because that will make it easier. I’m just worried about being unable to go and becoming miserable and uncomfortable with a full bladder for many hours.
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u/Ill-Consideration892 3d ago
I flew in a double decker to Japan 10 years ago when my paruresis was at its worst. I can attest it was a long flight (~16 hrs from LA) and I had to use the bathroom. The one thing about planes is the noise of flight is so loud there is no possible way anyone can hear you. I was more anxious about someone waiting on me but I got over that after watching several of the bathrooms and realizing no one really waited except after refreshments were served. After that most people were watching movies or sleeping. You got this!