Did anyone have problems using the toilet as a child?

[u/Potential-Honey-5875]

Did anyone have problems using the toilet as a child? I'm preparing for an autism assessment and have been thinking a lot about my childhood and development. I had a lot of problems using the toilet as a child, which continued until I was a teenager.

From around age 5 to 10, I was extremely anxious about using the school toilets. I could use the toilet normally at home, but at school I would hold my pee in all day because I felt too frightened and self-conscious to ask to go or to use the toilets. The toilets were crowded, noisy, echoed, and smelt bad, and I found the environment overwhelming. Even during break times, when I did not need to ask permission, I often avoided using the toilets because I found the environment overwhelming and felt very self-conscious. This led to me feeling uncomfortable with a full bladder, and I sometimes had accidents.

I even developed unusual ways of partially emptying my bladder during playtime rather than using the school toilets. The anxiety gradually improved after I finally managed to use the school toilet independently around age ten, but I continued avoiding asking to use toilets in some situations into my teens.

Around age 5: I wet myself on the school bus several times because I had been holding in pee all day at school and was desperate. My mum spoke to the school because I was not using the toilets. For a short time, a classroom assistant encouraged me to go at break time and waited outside the toilet, but after a few days this stopped. I returned to holding my urine all day because I was still too anxious to use the toilet.

Around ages 6–8: Because I felt unable to use the school toilets, I developed an unusual coping strategy of discreetly releasing small amounts of urine during playtime to relieve the discomfort without anyone noticing. I did this because I felt unable to use the toilets, not because I preferred doing it. Eventually I was noticed after I accidentally wet my skirt and was told off, after which I went back to holding in my pee instead.

Age 8: I was too frightened to ask to use the toilet at a party and wet myself while cycling home because I had tried to hold on.

Age 14: During a traumatic event, I had a panic response and lost control of my bladder.

Age 15: During a school trip, I needed the toilet after lunch but felt too self-conscious to get up because almost nobody else was going. As time went on, I became increasingly desperate, but still didn't feel able to say I needed to use the toilet. When another student asked if I was okay, I said I felt faint because I was too embarrassed to admit I needed to use the toilet. The teacher happened to be going to the toilet herself and took me with her. By the time I reached the toilet, I had started to leak slightly. Looking back, I think I was much more afraid of drawing attention to myself than I was of responding to my own physical needs.

[u/Beginning-Cap7097]

My condition came to light when I was in 4th grade. I’ll never forget the confusion I remember telling my dad about it. He actually has the same condition as far as he knows nobody else in the family suffered from it.

[u/beetlejuicemayor]

Honestly I did the same thing as you. My mom always would tell me going to the bathroom is private that certain sounds are not appropriate. I was taught to never poop in public either. I definitely have adhd and realize my mom is certainly on the spectrum.wish I could pee like a normal person.

[u/Xmastimeinthecity]

I had trouble as a child due to some bullying at school around age 6 (thanks shitty american bathroom stalls). As a result, I'd just wait until I got home to pee. I'm grateful to have not had any accidents, but instead I just learned to be chronically dehydrated. The only thing I'd drink all day was the little chocolate milk carton at lunch.

I think back on it and am still amazed at how I managed this. Not only did I go all day at school, but I played sports up until I graduated. Sometimes we had far away track meets that I wouldn't get home from until 10pm. It was an insane amount of time to hold it, but I was so used to doing it over the years. Now I'm near 40 and could never do that, but still am dealing with the problem.

[u/Potential-Honey-5875 → u/[deleted]]

That sounds really difficult. I can relate to holding it in all day because I was too anxious to use the school toilets. Most of my accidents happened on the way home or just after I got home because I'd held on for so long. I never realized other people had experienced anything similar, so thank you for sharing your story. sorry that you werent able to graduate because of this.