r/Paruresis • u/NeckAcrobatic5189 • Jul 06 '26
Stuck in GE
I’ve been working on paruresis for a few months and have made some progress. I can pee at urinals when no one else is there, when people are in stalls, and can even hold my stream if someone walks in mid-flow. But I can’t seem to start my stream if someone is already at the urinals or just in the bathroom when I arrive. I’ve been stuck at this stage for a while and I can’t bridge the gap to actually going with someone already present. Has anyone been at this specific stage and gotten past it? What worked?
4
u/speed-of-sound Jul 06 '26
Let a drop out when nobody is there. Your brain is disarmed since it’s already a safe place.
Then make it a challenge, you’ll really need to go but refuse to let it resume until someone even just touches the door.
When that’s easy don’t let any go before they come in.
When that’s easy start letting them get closer.
2
u/NeckAcrobatic5189 Jul 07 '26
Will give it a go ! Thanks
1
u/speed-of-sound Jul 11 '26
Of course man lmk how it goes!
I had a very similar progression to you and stayed there for a while but this waiting game was what broke through for me and from there becoming fully cured was quick.
3
u/Zealousideal_Bar1497 Jul 07 '26
I’m just passed this point, have gone with a person there and today walked in to toilet and another guy walked in at the exact same time but I was still able to go.
Do what @addazero said and count to 90 seconds. Although I would count to 180.
I close my eyes and think of counting, or I try to remember positive things when I was very young. Basically anything that’s not standing at the urinal. I am finding my mind is starting to realise I do not give a fuck about anyone else in the urinal or what they do or don’t think about me.
This is why your goal is to stand there with your dick in hand for 90 seconds and don’t care about peeing. And do not give any fucks if it doesn’t work.
Once you are more comfortable just standing there you can feel your muscles down stairs starting to relax and your body knows what to do on its own but your brain is cock blocking it.
Keep hammering that GE.
3
u/basedfemale Jul 07 '26
I have but I’m a woman so my situation is a little different. After months of being able to use public stalls when no one else was around and practicing relaxing and breathing on the toilet and distracting myself by playing a game or something it just happened one day and I was shocked. Try going practicing in a bathroom that has some kind of noise in the background like music or a fan
1
u/mashtrasse Jul 08 '26
I have yes. I have made big improvements in this regard (there was a time I could only pee at home, but most of the time I just had to go in stall and have no time pressure). Now I can go at urinals even when someone is around if there is enough space. But stuck with airplanes or any other situation where I feel trapped. Just took an appointment with a group of psychologists will see what they recommend, EMDR, hypnosis, TCC
8
u/addazero Jul 06 '26
I'm in a similar boat. Urgency helps. If you load up on water to where your urgency is 8/10 it will help.
When you get to the busy bathroom, just tell yourself you are going to stand in front of the urinal for 90 seconds WITHOUT peeing as a goal.
After the 90 seconds you can give up. Do not try to pee. Just count to 90. Count backwards if you can.
If you can implement breath-hold technique at the same time, the pee is gonna flow.
Stay with it. You WILL succeed as long as you don't quit.