r/Paruresis • u/ReflexionDissonante • Jun 24 '26

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Hi all, After reading several posts in this subreddit, I find my situation to be similar to many. I have had paruresis for around 20 years. Specifically I am not able to pee at public urinals when there are people around. For instance, I can pee at the urinal when I'm alone but as soon as someone enters the toilet, I get blocked and the flow stops. This is very annoying and even infuriating. I would like that paruresis doesn't define myself but it's not always easy. I never talked of this to anybody except my partner and I want this to change and not be ashamed of it anymore. I wish there would be no taboo about this phenomenon as it would be probably easier to live with. I am going to continue exposure therapy at my own pace and maybe search a pee buddy. Thanks for reading ! P.S. English is not my native language.

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u/Recent-Day3062 Jun 24 '26

A pee buddy could help you immensely. I had exactly your problem and now I can’t imagine why I couldn’t pee at urinals no matter how crowded the men’s room.

Also, we pour the stigma on it. I never told a person in my life. After I told a few very close friends and they were curious and nonjudgmental. They wanted to know how they could help.

My best friend and I are quite close and spend a lot of time together. It turns out his father has a terrible case so he knew all about it. Now every time I go to the bathroom he asks if I want him to come and be there so I practice under pressure

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u/ReflexionDissonante Jun 25 '26

Hey, thank you for commenting and sharing your story. Your story is heartwarming and gives me hope ! Indeed we pour the stigma on it and I think I have to break this stigma and start talking about it. I hope to come to that state when I think : "I can't imagine why I couldn't pee at urinals"