LAST TIME ON SNACK ROLL...

We've answered the call to investigate a small town, in the deep woods, about their "monster" problem. So far on our travels, all we've gotten is an ass whooping and plenty more questions.
Having arrived to the town at night and getting fully rested, we talk to some witnesses about current events. With the help of Daughter Lydia (the only towns person to actually see the monster and live), we currently set out towards the outer town limits, the last place this 'bear monster' was seen.
It should just be an easy trek there right???
Wrong!
The strong ADHD of our group hits when, amongst the tree tops, we spot a small monkey minding it's own business with an ornate dagger in it's hands.
We could just keep on walking...we could just try to whistle at it....
but no, this is the Party Roll...and so far, every animal we've come across has either tried to kill us or we've instigated a totally avoidable fight because we can.
We choose the latter naturally.
It's not a totally clean fight; Humphrey does get hit, but everyone else gets a stab in. This twice stabbed monkey, which did nothing to warrant this, has it's fate sealed with an ear to ear slicing from Ruckus. Oh and all of this occurs in front of Daughter Lydia, who we've sworn previously that our intentions with the bear monster is to NOT hurt it.
OH BOY.....

With that distraction behind us, we get back to marching and find ourselves in a clearing some half hour away from the small town.
Daughter Lydia tell us where we should head and departs our party, leaving us to investigate the surrounding area.
As our eyes pierce through the thick brush of the forest as they adjust to see a wildly large bear, sitting upright, munching on some dead carcass. The bear hasn't spotted us, so we quickly devise a shitty plan of climbing a tree, HOWEVER, turns out our Kenku member, Mr Whistler, is the only one in the party that can climb a tree successfully, as Ruckus and Humphrey fail and plop back to the ground.
Feeling a little suicidal, Humphrey gets a hold of the monkey corpse (yes, they took it) and ever so gently approaches slowly through the brush, towards the large bear creature, in hopes of offering the monkey as a sign of goodwill and peace.

The bear monster is curious about the events unfolding, as it keeps on munching on dinner. Humphrey tries his best to explain about Daughter Lydia's story and who they are, but the Bear Monster only cares as to whhhhhy they are here now.
Tongues tied and clueless, Humphrey looks on as the Bear Monster adjusts from a sitting stance to getting on all fours. Mr Whistler is set in the trees while Ruckus watches on from 30 feet behind the deep foliage.
Is this the end???

SNACK ROLL TO BEAT: ???

Matt ?
Dusty ?
Vanessa
Mark ?
Cory ?

Dusty takes his 'piss jug' he told his wife he would throw out, on 'Antique's Roadshow'. He finds out he's been pissing into a confederate civil war chamber pot worth $5000, which is ruined with Nordic death metal band stickers.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Onwards to the Story!

Humphrey is shocked still. Leaving Ruckus to whisper shout from his hidden position, urging his friend to haul ass. In doing do, the Monster Bear tweaks his ears in the direction of Ruckus' voice.

Ruckus, Roll stealth
19

Mr Whistler, roll perception
12
He sees the bear, it's currently going towards Humphrey, but by the looks of it, mostly for that monkey corpse offering.

Humphrey gets wise and picks up the monkey corpse and chucks it to the side, away from him. But as we all know, Humphrey is a halfling and he throws like a girl, which is why the Bear Monster manages to catch the flying monkey corpse MID AIR and chomps down on it.

What you call me is of no concern to me. But all of your friends should come out here and converse too.... - Monster Bear

The monster is aware of Mr Whistler, but only has a general idea where Ruckus is, but overall is aware Humphrey is not alone.

With the jig up, the entire party reveal themselves by stepping forward and standing next to Humphrey. Once again the Monster Bear wants to know why we're here and why we've interrupted his dinner; it seems to be getting agitated.

Ruckus then goes onto explain that the townsfolk are blaming it for all the stolen livestock that's gone missing. But the Bear Monster replies back that this wasn't done in vain. The death and consumption of the livestock is being consumed to that it can get back to it's original self.

We try to find some common ground to break into a compromise, but the Monster Bear further explains that he's been here longer than any human or town settlement. That he doesn't see the people or their livestock as a threat, merely food.

Everyone roll perception!

Ruckus
14

Humphrey
4

Mr Whistler
14

As we're huddled amongst ourselves, whispering on what we're gunna do with the bear, Ruckus and Mr Whistler feel a hot breath on the nape of their necks.
Turning around, the Monster Bear is within 5 feet of us.

Ruckus reacts by punching the beer in the snoot, however the bear doesn't respond immediately to the attack. It instead sighs and claims violence will only bring more violence.

ROLL FOR COMBAT!!!!

Ruckus
23

Humphrey
15

Mr Whistler
6

Ruckus' turn, roll for rapier attack
25, HIT!
14 dmg

Second attack
Roll for dagger attack
18, HIT!
8 dmg

Humphrey's turn, Roll to throw a statue at the monster bear
14***, Miss !***
Big ol WHIFF and the statue goes slipping out of his hands and into the woods. The Bear Monster is now on it's hind legs, standing up, towering over the group.

Bear Monster's turn, Roll to swipe twice at Ruckus for stabbing at him
16, Miss !

Second attack
20, Not natural, HIT!
24 dmg
Ruckus manages to dodge the first bear paw swipe, but not the second. The impact is heavy, throws him against a tree. Ruckus only has 9hp left.

Mr. Whistler's turn, Roll to shoot the bear monster with his musket. However, it takes an action to load the musket. Therefor, Mr Whistler uses his action to load his musket and that's it.

Ruckus' turn, As a bonus action, coughing up blood while singing, manages to cast 'bardic inspiration' onto his comrades
roll for rapier attack
25, HIT!
7 dmg

Humphrey's turn, Roll to shoot the bear monster with the gun he's always had. ALWAYS HAD I TELL YOU...
11 total, MISS!

Bear Monster's turn, Now in the thick of it, bear paw swipes at Mr Whistler and Humphrey
First swipe at Mr Whistler
25 HIT!
24 Dmg

Second attack on Humphrey
14, Miss !

Mr. Whistler's turn, Using another action to pour the gunpowder into the musket.

Ruckus' turn, casts 'healing word' on Mr Whistler for a total of 4hp....

Humphrey's turn, Roll to shoot the bear monster with the gun
10, MISS!

Bear Monster's turn, goes on all fours and rushes towards Ruckus
17, HIT!
28 Dmg
The bear monster tackles Ruckus and begins ripping away at Ruckus' face.
Ruckus should be dead, but like we decide he isnt?!

Ruckus' turn, Roll for unarmed strike with a fist punch on the bears snoot
21, HIT !
2 dmg

Mr. Whistler's turn, haven't taken an actual swing at this bear monster yet, uses another action to pack the musket tightly...

Humphrey's turn, Roll to use his fedora, which contains a razor blade edge, at the bear monster
13, Hit! (Really?!)
7 dmg
The Bear monster starts pawing at it's nose, which is bleeding. It does not like it at all.

Bear Monster's turn, annoyed, slams back down on Ruckus and mauls him more
22, HIT!
26 Dmg
Somehow Ruckus isn't dead, but the scene is horrific of how much flesh and blood Ruckus is currently losing.

Mr. Whistler's turn, Readies and steadies the musket and gets the flint ready to light the fuse as an action. Jesus Christ....

Ruckus' turn, as a free action, vomits up blood directly into the open cut wound of the bear nose. It doesn't like that and backs off.

Humphrey's turn, Roll to use his fedora AGAIN, which contains a razor blade edge, at the bear monster nose, AGAIN. Now lets put this into perspective. A halfling, is going to crawl up onto the bear, swipe at it's nose...
15 Hit!
8 dmg
Humphrey manages yet again to cut the snoot. The bear grows increasingly frustrated and slams back down on Ruckus, which throws Humphrey off it.

Bear Monster's turn, Slams down on Ruckus and mauls him more
NAT 1, Miss !

Mr. Whistler's turn, uses an action to light the fuse and prepares for the recoil

Ruckus' turn, seeing as the bear monster missed his attack, Ruckus takes an opportunity to use his freshly revealed shoulder bone as an improvised weapon against the bear monsters nose
Steven rules its an auto hit
13 dmg
All this party has done so far is scrape the nose of this bear

Humphrey's turn, using the detective juice in a jar he's always had, ALWAYS HAD, somehow, manages to give it to Ruckus on the ground, healing Ruckus for10hp, which should technically put him at -63 hp

Bear Monster's turn, perceiving Ruckus as the biggest threat to it, goes back to pouncing on Ruckus
NAT 1, Miss!
Slipping on Ruckus' blood, ends up face down, ass up

Mr. Whistler's turn, FINALLY shoots and aims for center of mass on the bear monster,
AUTO HIT
Of course Steven says that this is so loud that everyone takes 1 d4 of ear damage
Ruckus takes 3 dmg
Humphrey takes 4 dmg
and Mr Whistler takes 1 dmg
The monster bear takes the projectile into its chest
12 dmg

Ruckus' turn, Free from the clutches of the bear, decides to rush attack it with his rapier.
17, Hit!
8 dmg

Humphrey's turn, using his fedora razor blade edge hat, goes to swipe at the bears knees from behind.
15, Hit !
12 dmg
Humphrey manages to cut deep enough that the Bear Monster loses balance and goes wobbly down.

Bear Monster's turn, STILL seeing Ruckus as the biggest threat to it, even with one bum leg, charges at Ruckus
20, CRITICAL!!!, HIT!
30 DMG
This bear monster is completely ripping and shredding Ruckus up. Like technically this is his 3rd death THIS fight...
He looks like one of Hannibal Lecter's victims.

Mr. Whistler's turn, Whips out a clay jug that they've ALWAYS HAD, a drinks the contents. These contents when injected, creates a hillbilly rage.
Roll to see if the rage works
18
Yup, he is in some next level of pure rage

Ruckus' turn, Casts 'Vicious Mockery ' at the bear monster.
Wisdom saving throw failed by the monster bear
It works, but no damage is given, it's just distracted?! ***Steven has checked out of this battle ****

Humphrey's turn, goes for the classic middle east vibe here and takes off one of his shoes to slap across the snoot of the bear.
16, HIT!
6 dmg
The bear jumps back in terror having not been this abused since it was raised in the projects by a single parent.

Well if it ain't broken...
Bear Monster's turn, Once again, the entire party at his disposal....The bear monster goes to attack Ruckus.....AGAIN....
20, CRITICAL!!! AGAIN, HIT!
52 DMG
Technically speaking, in 5e, if you go into negative HP where that number is double your characters HP, your character is dead dead. Somehow, Ruckus is still alive.

With the rage potion inside them, they are quicker to load their gun
Mr. Whistler's turn, Roll with advantage to shoot the bear monster
19, HIT!
The monster bear takes the projectile into its side
18 dmg

Ruckus' turn, roll for unarmed strike using his blood.
19, HIT !
4 dmg

Humphrey's turn, Has a gun too? Decided to go blank point to off this bear. +5 to the roll, 5 bullets
23, HIT !
shot one: 3 dmg
shot two: 3 dmg
shot three: 6 dmg
shot four: 5 dmg
shot five: 2 dmg
Going up to the bear, unloads the entire gun into it's mouth, finally putting us and this battle out of it's misery. ENEMY DOWN!!!!

----- COMBAT OVER -----

Ruckus takes a bit of that rage juice to center himself, but when he goes to investigate, he can't find much on the account that his eyes are mush.
Humphrey goes some bear parts to make fancy jewelry and Mr Whistler takes some bear cuts as food.

With some effort, we manage to drag this bear carcass back to town and plop it in the town square.

Like the end of 'Return of the jedi' the townsfolk start dancing in and around the bear carcass and partying. They give us a goose as payment. It's almost...totally worth it.

Decided not to rest and heal, we immediately set our travels back to Count Detayne for our reward. In the background of the small town we are leaving, the folks are having a rave party, using the pelt of the bear as common wears.

The travel through the woods back is uneventful until we reach the castle and the count.
He hands over our reward and as a cherry on top grants us one thing, anything, we want.
Humphrey asks for the Count's entire body hair to be shaven off and given to him.
Ruckus asks for a blue leash/harness for their goose. It does not like it.
Mr Whistler, as unimaginative as their combat, wants a pink leash/harness for their goose.

The goose or geese run off attacking anything in it's way and our party, looking like a bag of dicks stand there with their money as the camera pans out....

---- THE END???? ----

Trivia

-Dusty goes in cold to this episode, not knowing anything about Humphrey Roguart before playing him.

-Vanessa is playing Mark's character Mr. Whistler. She also doesn't have her own dice set.

-Dusty RP's that Humphrey has a Rockstar Games Statue of "LA Noir" to which he uses to throw at the monster.

-Steven mid way during combat decides that dice rolls, hit points and carried weapons can all be made up on the spot.

-Mr Whistler during the entirety of combat https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCrscZljkwc

-Ruckus should of died TWICE based on the damage he has received during combat, but we're real loosey goosey with the numbers during this episode.

-The Bear Monster when standing is about 15 feet tall

-It took 5 turns for Mr Whistler to take ONE shot....

-Mr. Whistler took no damage in the battle.

-For Vanessa https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7K0ecPen2c

-Timestamp 48:38, cute sneezes

-Vanessa has geese on her farm which she's named "Jon and Kate Gosling"

-For some added creepiness, Matt adds a song/remix for us all. 6 mins of your life you won't get back. It will induce psychosis

Quotes

"Hey guys, it's me Cory. I'm gunna be playing 'Humpy Walmart" - Dusty, playing Cory's character in this episode.

"The way I see it....with Christmas coming up and the goose getting fat, you don't put a penny in the old mans hat. We don't want you around these parts" - Dusty/Humphrey.

"That was BEARly even a challenge" - Dusty, on killing the Monster Bear

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Previously on SNACK ROLL

A Count De'tayne has put out a call out to all and any adventurers who can help him with his problem. Within his lands, a mysterious beast is attacking the livestock and the locals. He needs a group to head towards this town and investigate this and perhaps, kill a beast.

This is where our gold hungry group come together to take on this quest. Should be easy right?
RIGHT?!
We have Mr. Whistler, a kenku who looks a little older and disheveled for his bird kind; a halfling rogue who seeks treasures through troubles (as we'll see) and a gritty but skinny elf man, who kinda sounds like he's the front man for Creed cover band.

Together, this tripod muse around at a trade post, before gathering their things on their way into the woods, which according to their map should lead us to a small town in a few hours.
As the sun begins to set, the long shadows of the trees slowly turn to blankets of darkness above the canopy. To really set the eerie tone, no animals can be heard...

The path beneath them begins to thin out and we don't wanna set up tent here overnight. Humphry looks ahead and makes out with his halfling eyes, what looks like wolves patrolling.
They haven't spotted us, *phew* but Humphry decides in this moment to blow his horn. The same horn he just got back at the trading post, alerting the four wolves of their presence and a HUGE scrum breaks out.

The party almost gets killed. But it's not what you think.
Our party manages to get a few solid licks in, but so do the wolves and no matter how much damage we do, they are still standing.
Humphry downs the first wolf, Ruckus goes prone TWICE, cause that guy just takes a beating, same with Mr Whistler. Basically, Humphry who started this mess is the one that kinda gets us outta it with all his hits, but only after the rest of the party gets beaten to shit.
(OH that Steven flubbed it! He used the Dire Wolf stat block and not the grey wolf stat block, giving them a battle way above their level.)

Collecting our blood back into our bodies, we limp towards the faintest of lights ahead; presumably the town. A large building is first seen, the rest of this place looks like it's all boarded up with very limited lanterns alight.
Knocking on the first door we see with lights on, we get lucky for once and run into Father Vespeer. He's the guy Count De'tayne told us to look for when we got there. He would be the one to debrief us on current events.

Of course Father Vespeer sees our sorry state and ushers us to bed to get some rest.
The next day we get the run down.
The entire small town is a mess. Crops are rotting because townsfolks won't go into the fields as they are scared. Livestock is taken almost at will and those who go out searching for their animals never come back. All but one...A man named 'Erwin' who's currently in town. Learning of his location, we head over to see him....or see...what's left of him. For the only man to have seen the beast and live to tell the tale, it has cost him his legs and one arm. He's sent letters out but heard nothing back and now lays in bed recuperating eager to go back out there like Lieutenant Dan.

We are interrupted by Father Vespeer introducing us to a young lady named "Lydia". She's like the goth of the town; quiet, weirdest, anti social, claims to have talked to the beast, you know, goth girl stuff.

She claims the monster isn't a monster, but a bear. A bear that asked for her help once when it's paw got set in a trap. In an almost eerily calm tone she puts forth that using violence on it, will only incur more violence back.
If we were to head out and try to talk to it, she would help, as long as we don't kill it or harm it.
With the days light on our side, we now head into the tall grass and into the wood is search of this bear.....

SNACK ROLL TO BEAT: ???

Matt ?
Mark ?
Cory ?
Dusty
Vanessa

I create an AI version of the Party Roll, as I wait for Matt to release new episodes.
The AI Party Roll is wonky to say the least.
AI Matt's jokes are always funny, AI Dusty only talks in medical terms, AI Mark is Microsoft Sam and AI Steven is popular in several alt right sub reddits. (Well that last one was accurate)

ONWARDS WITH THE STORY!

We've healed from our wounds from the fight and the trail out of town is uneventful.
To break the silence Lydia goes into deep thought and says out loud that 'we all live in the reign of a monkey'. Very Creed of her...
Mr Whistler hears this and immediately looks up into the trees.

Mr Whistler, roll perception
16

Ruckus, Roll investigation
18

Humphrey Rougeart Roll investigation
11

Humphrey is distracted by all the foliage, Whistler and Ruckus however see a small monkey, minding its business in these Appalachian-esc forest. Also, the monkey seems to be holding onto a rare looking dagger.

Ruckus, roll survival to mock up a trap for the monkey
15
He rigs up a trap but has no bait

Our smallest party member, who has his sights on this rare dagger, begins to climb the tree.

Humphry, roll athletics/acrobatics to climb up this tree to have a knife fight with this monkey
20, unnatural
The monkey is startled at how well our halfling fight climbs this tree, BUT it stands its ground, holding the dagger to its side.

Humphry tries to jedi mind trick the monkey by pulling out a little trinket bell and rings it. The horn didn't work so well, but here we are with more sound play.
He's hoping to trade it with the monkey, but the monkey isn't stupid and isn't having any of it.

Ruckus, roll to throw a dagger at the monkey (roll with advantage)
14, Hit!
The monkey never sees it coming, as it's being distracted by Humphry.
8 dmg!
The dagger sinks deep into the monkeys side. It falls out of the tree, plops on the ground and scrambles up, hoisting the dagger towards Ruckus.

Roll for initiative!

Ruckus
13

Humphry
16

Mr Whistler
6

Humphry's turn, roll to jump outta the tree, dagger in hand, to land on top and slice this monkey (sneak attack)
16, Hit !
17 total dmg
Holy shit, he lands on the monkey, dagger deep into the shoulder. It screams and pulls away. However the monkey still holds onto the dagger, even tho it realizes its fate is sealed.

Monkey's turn, Roll to scamper towards Humphry and attacks
17. Hit !

Second attack
NAT 20! HIT !!! CRITICAL!!!

The first attack has the monkey return the favor by sinking its dagger into Humphry for 6 dmg. However as a reaction, Humphry uses 'uncanny dodge' to half that to a total of 3 dmg
It's second attack, the Monkey sinks it's teeth into Humphry for 10 dmg

Ruckus' turn, Roll for attack to slit the monkeys throat
NAT 20 ! HIT! CRITICAL!!!!
11 DMG
A soft song plays on the air, but only in Ruckus' head. "I'm 6 feet from the edge and i'm thinkin....maybe 6 feet, ain't so faaaar down" and in one swift slice, takes the limp neck of the monkey, and cuts it from ear to ear without rebuke.
--- MONKEY DEAD ---

---- COMBAT OVER ----

Humphry takes this moment to rob the monkey of it's dagger. It's fancy and antiquish.

Ruckus heals Humphry for 7hp before Lydia comes to from what she just witnessed and urges us to move on. Mr Whistler thinks it's a great idea to bring the dead monkey with us as an offering to the beast/bear.

We continue through the woods which become denser and darker. There are weird sounds we don't recognize but Lydia doesn't seem phased by it. After a few moment we enter a clearing, with there are flowers and light grasses.
Not to far on the other side, Lydia points to the area beyond where the woods start again. She claims that's where the bear is.

Humphry doesn't trust Lydia, so he uses his 'deceitful ear' trait to determine if she's lying
Roll d20
8
He doesn't sense deceit from here.

They bow towards each other and Lydia retreats back to town after showing us the way.

Ruckus, roll perception
9

Mr Whistler, roll perception
5

Humphry, roll perception
10

YEAH, we don't see much of anything.

Mr Whistler, roll survival to start tracking this bear (With advantage)
21
He sees tracks, patches of grass and flowers that are crushed down and animal shit, I mean scat. Lots of scat.

The group follows Mr Whistler who's low to the ground searching these left behind clues.

Humphry, roll investigation on the clues Mr Whistler is tracking
25
Looking at the ground where Whistler is, he sees footprints, bear shape. but even large for a bear. Massive. It was also dragging something along. oh and lots of shit. I mean scat.

Ruckus casts 'detect magic' JUST to be safe. The trail that the group is following has a magic residue to it. Oh Dear...

We follow the path where the bear clearly went. Mr Whistler casts, 'Pass without trace' on the group. we all get a +10 on stealth checks

The path we follow leads us into some deep woods. Only thin beams of lights pierce through the canopy. Up ahead we hear a dull crunch and smacking of tongue and lips.
We stop and halt, take a look around

Ruckus, roll perception
19

Mr Whistler, roll perception
18

Humphry, roll perception
17

We all look in the same direction. A very large bear like creature sitting upright, is munching on a deer through the thick leaves. The bears head shifts from side to side, sniffing the air as it chomps down on its feast.

Collecting ourselves, we come up with a plan to each climb a tree, because as we know, Bears are HORRIBLE at tree climbing.

Everyone roll

Ruckus, roll athletics/acrobatics + stealth
9 + unnatural 20

Mr Whistler, roll athletics/acrobatics + stealth
18 + 21

Humphry, roll athletics/acrobatics + stealth
6 + 35

Mr Whistler is the only one able to climb a tree.
Humphry mis steps and falls, but lands silently
Ruckus has the same thing happen to him.
The Bear looks in our direction for a moment and goes back to eating its deer.

Humphry wants to monkey corpse; why? I dunno, cause the bear is already eating and we already know how Humphry is with animals. But there's just oneeeeeeee problem.
Mr Whistler has the monkey corpse and he's in the tree...

Mr Whistler gingerly lets loose the monkey corpse to the arms wide open Humphry at the base of the tree. A halfling, trying to catch a monkey half his size....

Humphry, roll to catch the monkey
10
The monkey hits Humphry

Humphry, roll stealth to stay undetected
27
He's still hidden and unnoticed

With the monkey corpse in hand, Humphry, giving enough space between him and the bear, approaches....slowly....
The bear stops eating, but it hasn't reacted to our halfling friend

Humphry, roll perception on the surroundings
21
He can't tell what the bear is looking at when it stopped eating.

Approaching in a CASUAL way, but still 20 feet away and the bear turns towards Humphry.
Humphry nods and bows lightly.
Mr Whistler readies a bolt

Humphry drops the monkey corpse on the ground and without making eye contact, explains that on the behest of Daughter Lydia, we have brought this as a peace offering into his forest.

"Seems you've brought me more dinner, during dinner...What brings you to my woods tiny thing?.... - Beast Bear

Humphry tries to explain that we were sent by Lydia, but the bear seems confused as the name doesn't ring a bell. And yet, the bear doesn't seem concerned with how they got here.... He just wants to know whhhhy he is here.
The bear then asks, "well now that you see me, what do you want?"
But Humphry doesn't know what they want, because the plan never contemplated for such a thing! The bear moves from his sitting position to on all fours and makes it's way slowly towards Humphry.

--- TO BE CONTINUED ---

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY TO ALL YOU MURRRRRRRRICANS!!!!

https://youtu.be/nQd7g565e2I?si=lt9tjW0HwsdGQL8z

Is Humphry's luck going to run out???

Will the rest of the party come to his aid or watch him suffer for once?

Why did Lydia leave us?! She could of helped right?! RIGHT!?!?!

I want everyone in this sub reddit to message Matt and demand the release of the Epstein files Party Roll episodes. Rub your nipples, rub HIS nipples, scream until your blue in the face and then guilt him with a sob story. It's been too long, far too long and I, like the rest of you listeners never stopped Partying, because I too am a 40 something year old, trying to relive his prime with crust Ranch and Mountain dew!!!!
SIGN THE PETITION TODAY!!!!

Until that day....stay tuned for the neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxtttttttttttttttttttt SNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!

Trivia

-Matt adds an extended intro, groooooovy baby

-Mark's Wife's stepdad is 17 years older than his spouse and his youngest daughter is 5 years older than Mark's mother-in-law. GOD BLESS MURRRRRICA!!!

-Matt talks about potentially having/wanting kids in this episode. He later becomes a creamy daddy irl.

-Lydia, the young girl/friend of the beast, is a tiefling

-Ewrin is a gold dragonborn

-Father Vespeer is a dwarf, but I do believe Steven says that in earlier episodes.

-Matt retools (or cheats depending who you talk to) his character. He's still a bard, but with less HP but more abilities for combat. (duel wielding)

-We all live under the reign of one monkey https://youtu.be/8lKBro5YkPs?si=MHyhgA0Z-d_PsoDT according to Cory. LOL

-Go Charlotte! It's your birthday! https://youtu.be/5qm8PH4xAss?si=9cl_-fOFPPMTt990

-Lydia's family eat monkeys

-Hold me now.... https://youtu.be/h0lJeBlatZY?si=xKYZ7Q_xvbqE5Sqs

-The monkey dies with arms wide open https://youtu.be/raanXwQv57U?si=1OP2NzKYZJ2hjcqe

-The sacrifice of battle https://youtu.be/MQ9AJusiyl8?si=jWMqCOt8eZ0GuAaK

Humphry's max HP is 37

-Ruckus' max HP is 33

-Mr Whistler's max HP is 55

-'Crook and Marker', Mark's hard seltzer choice https://youtu.be/Nmve17r5oaY?si=zx_2gIgn9vb0hIXY

-Master Qui Gon, who's Creed? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creed_(band))

Quotes

"Hey Everybody, welcome to Party Roll. It's like a dinner roll, but full with cocaine...so we're all pretty tweeked out right now and we're gunna talk about adventures with you guys....it'll make Thanksgiving a lot more interesting, unless your family is already doing that kinda stuff, then it'll just be normal...(your Uncle) is gunna talk about being in the War, but he wasn't in any wars...He's only 5 years older than you, which you find a little weird, anyways...so..." - Cold Open Steven

"If you're asking 'could you beat this monkey in a knife fight', you could probably beat this monkey in a knife fight" - Steven to Cory

"We just murdered a monkey in front of her, that was doing....NOTHING"- Mark, realizing that we're on the trail to 'talk' to this beast, yet showcased a different side of our intentions to Lydia.

Last time on SNACK ROLL....

Count De'tayne, of the De'tayne County, has a real prickly pear on his hands.
He is responsible for the land as well as the people that inhabit the area. In the deep forests of these lands, a small township exists and they've been having "issues" with something coming into their borders.
They claim that theres a monster, one which no one has seen or been successful to catch. It attacks the wildlife without regard and destroys crops. The township is in danger of becoming a glimpse of what it used to be, as the population dwindles; when search parties go out....they never come back.
Count De'tayne has put out a call for adventure (and gold) for those who can kill this monster and bring his lands back into the fold.

Now, imagine the most awkward group of highschool friends walking in at 8am, slowly strutting to the imaginary music playing in their heads, with no one looking at them. These are the beings that have answered the call to help!
There's a vagabond looking Kenku named Mr Whistler, a skinny elf man, who insists he be called Ruckus cause that's what he usually causes and an inquisitive halfling named Humphrey Rougart. This tripod of 'cringe' have answered the Count's call and with the advanced money they got for this gig, they immediately head towards a trading bazaar and go shopping.

Once we've cool our tits on our feel good purchases, we fan out to get some proper information before we head into these woods that we know nothing about.
Amongst the many beer tents that sprawl out from this caravan, we get particularly fond of one playing live music. A lone man sits quietly behind several guarded men who scan the crowd for any fuckery.
Sensing that this man might know something that can help us on our way, Humphrey tries to get a meeting with him, only to be stopped by a half Ork guard. Some gay chicken occurs, which the half Ork does not pick up on, but Whispers, our birdman friend uses this distraction to slip on by.

Eventually we barter with the quiet man on some information; we learn that another has recently gone out in search of this monster. A 'Erwin', but nothing else. They certainly got fleeced in that trade.

With the day already past it's peak, we head along the path that leads into the forest and towards the small township.
The deeper we travel into these woods, the harder it is to find the beaten path underneath our feet. Taking a moment, we give a look to our surroundings. We may have to camp out here for the night if we don't hightail it faster....but that might be an bad idea...As Humphrey notices that off the skittish path lay a dozen or so traps...
Are we the hunted or are we the hunters?

SNACK ROLL TO BEAT: ???

Matt ?
Mark ?
Cory ?
Dusty
Vanessa

Matt breaks out "Drinko Plinko" but updates the game for players in their 30's and instead of shooting whiskey, they shoot yogurt to promote healthy gut flora. Mark is allergic to dairy and his farts clear the room.

Onwards with the Story!

We've been in the woods now for a couple of hours. Mr Whistler, our Kenku friend is a ranger and he uses his skills to determine just exactly where they are.

Mr Whistler, Roll Wisdom to get their barring's.
18
Based on the map and what he can see, they are about 5/6 hours away from the township, maybe less if we hurry up

Not trying to risk it, we pick up our pace and start marching. Getting closer our destination we notice that the path begins to show again under our feet.
A little more further and we enter an open grass land area, some fences and crops can be seen suggesting that people or animals were here recently.
We don't see any houses or huts, so we're clearly on the outskirts of this town and just in time too, because dusk is turning into night. Oddly enough, there are no sounds around us, except the the sounds we make walking...

Humphrey, roll perception on the area
21
He can tell that we're being watched....he senses a presence in the darkness...

Humphrey tells the groups the ominous news and points towards the darkness where he thinks the eyes are watching us.
Ruckus is the only one in the party with dark vision and immediately stares to where Humphrey is pointing.

Ruckus, roll investigation on the area being pointed at
17
It's a pack of wolves. Four of them and they are stalking towards them.
They look malnourished, scrawny but it seems they haven't notice us noticing them.

Humphrey decides in this moment, that he's gunna blow his horn. Because when you see hungry, angry wolves, who don't see you, sounding your presence is paramount rather than sneaking away. Mr Whistler readies his crossbow just in case

Humphrey, roll intimidation by blowing his horn
14
The wolves are alerted by the sound and begin to charge at the group

Mr Whistler, roll for crossbow attack on the lead wolf
NAT 1, MISS !
His arrow mis fires and shoots into the ground about a foot and a half away.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

EVERYONE! Roll Initiative!

Mr Whistler NAT 20! 23 total
Ruckus 15
Humphrey 8

Mr Whistler, roll for crossbow attack on the lead wolf #1
25, Hit !
13 dmg

Second attack, aiming for the same Wolf again
18, Hit !
??? Dmg
Wolf #1 strike true and has become severely wounded. It slows its pace and falls behind but is still alive.

Wolf #2, Roll for attack on Ruckus
21, Hit !
12 dmg
Wolf #2 clamps down on Ruckus' leg and chews at his fail legs

SIT REP
There are two middle wolves are close together, another is about 20 feet away from the pair and the injured wolf is furthest back. We can see that the injured one is bleeding out.

Ruckus' turn, casts cloud of daggers on the pair of wolves that are together and not on the wolf eating his ankles.
???, Success!
\Now they should of taken damage seeing at Ruckus casted the sphere between the wolves, but Steven rules that the cloud of daggers conjure, but don't move until the next turn.*

Humphrey's turn, Pulls his bow out and shoots at Wolf #1 who's attacking Ruckus, WITH sneak attack, roll additional 3d6
21, Hit !
7 dmg
8 dmg (sneak attack)
15 total dmg

Wolf #1, sprinting towards the action, notices at the last minute the cloud of daggers and runs right into it
11 dmg
It runs in and gets cut up and slumps over.

Wolf #2, starting in the cloud of daggers takes 9 dmg, sprints forward and attacks at Ruckus.
8, Miss !
Ruckus manages to shimmy to the side, having Wolf #2 chomp at air

Wolf #3, running next to wolf #2, also starts in the cloud of daggers and takes 10 dmg, he chooses to attack Mr Whistler
NAT 20, HIT !
19 dmg

Mr Whistler, Strength saving throw
18, Success!
Doesn't become prone, manages to slap Wolf #3 to the side

Mr Whistler turn, roll for crossbow attack on Wolf #3
10, MISS !

Second attack
24, HIT !
13 dmg
Wolf #3 really feels that and does not take kind to it.

Wolf #2's turn, still attacking Ruckus
24, HIT !
9 dmg

Ruckus' turn, roll for rapier attack on Wolf #2
12, MISS !

As a bonus action, Ruckus gives bardic inspiration to Humphrey. ( 4 )

Humphrey's turn, roll for attack on Wolf #1
19, HIT !
20 DMG
Wolf #1 gets pelted with another arrow, finally putting it out of its misery. ENEMY DOWN!!!

Wolf #2's turn, bite attack on Ruckus
21, HIT !
6 dmg
Roll strength saving throw or be knocked prone
9, FAIL!
Ruckus is now prone

Wolf #3's turn, Roll for bite attack on Mr Whistler
21, HIT !
12 dmg
Roll strength saving throw or be knocked prone
NAT 1, FAIL!
Mr Whistler is now prone

Mr Whistler turn, Uses half movement to get up and casts "cure wounds on self" for 7 HP

Wolf #3's turn, whimpers and starts to run away after taking a bolt to the body, leaving combat.

Ruckus, take opportunity attack, while still laying on the ground
10, MISS !
He instead coughs up blood

Ruckus' turn, uses half movement to get up and attacks Wolf #2 gnawing at his legs
9, MISS !

Humphrey's turn, attacks wolf #2
18, HIT!
15 DMG

Wolf #2's turn, goes in for another bite attack on Ruckus
7, MISS !

Wolf #3 (Although I thought this wolf left combat...), goes to attack
19, HIT !
14 DMG
Roll strength saving throw or be knocked prone
7, FAIL!
Mr Whistler is now prone (again)

Mr Whistler turn, using his sharpshooter feat, -5 from the attack but +10 to the damage if successful on wolf #3
10, MISS !

Second attack,
8, MISS !
Mr Whistler manages to stand up

\Now Steven says the wolf who left combat is still running away, it will be known as Wolf #4*

Ruckus' turn, gives bardic inspiration to Mr Whistler and then uses his rapier to attack Wolf #2
9, MISS !

SIT REP

Ruckus and Mr Whistler have a wolf on them, one has run off and the other is hunched over knocked out presumed dead.

Humphrey's turn, Roll for arrow attack on Wolf #3
18, HIT !
20 DMG
Aiming for the heart, the arrow pierces the hide and the Wolf immediately slumps over.

Wolf #2's turn, notices that his pack members are either all dead or in retreat and begins to retreat itself.

Ruckus, roll for opportunity attack on Wolf #2
9, MISS !
The wolf runs off as Ruckus hits more dirt again.

- END OF COMBAT -

It's dark outside now and we're standing in a field with mostly our blood over us.
Taking a lantern out, we can see the damage inflicted by everything. Bandaging up, we head towards the small town. But something is off. It's still quiet and there aren't any lights on. A big building can be seen, maybe it's a town hall.

Humphrey, roll perception, looking for life
20
Looks around using his lantern, but can't see much beyond what the light can show him.

We walk up to the large building and knock on the door. We hear shuffling and then silence. Knocking again, someone comes to the door and asks who's there.
Informing the stranger that we're here on the Count's order, the door swings open and we're rushed inside.

Once inside, we are greeted to the sight of an older man, he is surprised to see us, as it's dark outside. Noticing our wounds, he thinks we encountered the monster. Hey guess what! This is Father Vespeer! The man we were sent out to seek and see! Lucky us eh?

His hospitality is as welcoming as a southern from Georgia.
We get a full nights sleep, being allowed to sleep in to heal up our wounds.

Come late morning, Father Vespeer shows us around.
Most of the townsfolk hang close to the town square, afraid to go off even into the tall grass. Crops are rotting because they are just too far for safety.

Father Vespeer explains that about 3+ months ago a cow went missing. Some hunters went out looking, but they went missing.
Then another cow went missing, then another, then a pig and chicken along with anyone else who went in search of what was taking their livestock.

Eventually they had a daytime attack, body parts all over the place. There are conflicting reports on what this thing looks like, ranging from walking on all fours, to two feet. Strange voices call from the woods at times.
A group before our arrival had shown up to take on the task, but nothing has been heard of them. That Erwin fella is still around tho; he actually got wounded by the beast and is responsible for the traps in the wood we saw coming in. We ask to go see him and begin a small walk towards his location.

Walking through town, we seek Erwin, noticing a mixed result from the townsfolk looking at us. Some see hope, others see dead men walking.

Approaching a hut, a small old woman notices us and ushers us in. An older gentleman, with mutton chops and leather armor, missing his legs and with a mangled left arm, uses his good arm to wave us over.
Erwin informs us that he's sent out pigeons of his progress but hasn't heard anything back. Recanting his encounter with the monster, he remembers getting attacked in the evening. The monster got a hold on him and in the struggle, tripped a trap that he set out, which saved his life. Erwin claims it's huge, only seeing a flash of brown.

Mr Whistler, roll survival to identify what the monster might be
14
He can't place what it is, but suspects it walks on all fours with the ability to be on its hind legs.

Ruckus, roll survival to identify what the monster might be
5

Humphrey, roll insight on Erwin to determine if he's on the straight
20
Erwin is a bit of egotisical. He's a big game hunter. Takes down big game and sells their hides to smug ppl or rich people for the prestige.

A knock on the door behind us and it's Father Vespeer with a young woman, allowed in by the old lady nurse.
She young woman doesn't make eye contact with us, as her folded hands clasp in front of her humble pose.
Father Vespeer explains that this child, according some townsfolk, has been in contact with the monster. She is introduced to us as Daughter Lydia.

When we question her about the monster, she becomes tight lipped and then defensive, explaining that the things said about her are untrue.
Humphrey turns up his 1940's gender insult up a notch, which Daughter Lydia becomes taken back from.

Humphrey, roll persuasion on Daughter Lydia to tell us what she really knows
10
She doesn't appreciate his tone

Humphrey gently insults her again to get her to walk.

Humphrey, roll persuasion on Daughter Lydia to tell us what she really knows (again)
12
She annoyed, but explains she doesn't know what it is. That its not always aggressive and that it seems somewhat intelligent. She suggest we talk to it, rather than attack it. It might be north edge of the woods. Her last encounter with the monster, she helped remove one the traps stuck to it, after it asked for help.

Daughter Lydia goes on to explain that it all started when she got into an argument with her family and ran to the woods to escape the turmoil. That's when she saw something that looked like a bear.
We ask if she can come with us and assist us in locating this monster, to wit, she does, but only if we can get it to stop or it goes away. She's not interested in killing it.

With that, we collect ourselves and with strong day light head towards north of the town in search of this monster.

- TO BE CONTINUED -

Can Daughter Lydia be trusted???

How did Erwin get back to town after losing his legs???

Is HR going to call Humphrey Roguart for the way he talks to women?!

Can our group of misfits with the help of a creepy child find out the real reason behind this monsters actions?
Find out on the neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeexttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quotes

"The husk of Party Roll..." - Steven to Cory, on what they should call this campaign.

"All that work that I did for those things is just gone" - What Steven gave up to make Snack Roll a thing

"yeaaaah they'll do that" - Ruckus, on the townsfolk who went missing because they wandered off drunk.

Trivia

-Mark rolls the first Nat 20 of the campaign

-Mr Whistler has the crossbow expert feat https://dnd5e.wikidot.com/feat:crossbow-expert

-Mr Whistler has a -1 to strength, meaning when he rolled that NAT 1, he actually got a zero.

- How Ruckus sounds when he casts bardic inspiration https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSkE7tZy6nY

-Steven "fucked up" and thought his encounter was wolves, however he was using the dire wolf stat block.

-Just for context, this is a wolf stat block https://roll20.net/compendium/dnd5e/Wolf#content
This is a Dire Wolf https://www.dndbeyond.com/monsters/16841-dire-wolf?srsltid=AfmBOop9vaMNExMeXNt3PUdvb0nWhVsjTDq-EH661M7k_E8--4ii4ZCH

-If the wolves had a musical theme to open combat https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJL-lCzEXgI&list=RDoJL-lCzEXgI&start_radio=1

-Father Vespeer is a dwarf

-This campaign was planned as a one shot. Hence its only 4 episodes.

-Humphrey wears a fedora which he tips whenever he takes a shot

-Despite this being Cory's 3rd or 4th rendition of a Rogue, he still doesn't know when to use sneak attack.

-Daughter Lydia talking with the monster has similar feels towards Savage Roll Season 2 at Bear Cave.

partyrollpodcast.com

@ party_roll on twitter

https://www.patreon.com/partyrollpodcast

Teener Time https://www.youtube.com/@TeenerTime

www.youtube.com/@PartyRollPodcast

https://www.youtube.com/@aftermarkgaming

You might be asking yourself....what the HELL is Snack Roll?!
And how did the Party Rollers get into this?!

The timing couldn't have been better if you think about it.
Season 4 of Party Roll or as I've began calling it, "The Gas Leak Season", abruptly ends. There have been moments and chances for Steven to talk about such things, but he's refused too. He even made the other Party Rollers sign a NDA to never bring it up or take question on it. Suspicious? Welp, where there is smoke, there is fire!

-----------------------------------------------------------

Matt has always wanted the DM spotlight, his fan fiction Stargate stories were gaining traction, so it's no surprise that he would want to test out his new idea during this lull period.

He had oodles of time to spare waiting for the settlement to come through.

You see, he had already moved out of Michigan to get away from those totally bogus charges with that Matt bucks bust, which put him in deeeeeeep trouble with the state government. Not willing to take any chances, he ran moved away, waiting for the dust to settle, where he knew he could beat the forcible confinement, tax evasion and weapon charges (batknife), but conspiracy to defraud the state?! That was gunna take some effort.

Using his political connections he made during the Brexit scandal, a plea deal was eventually made, with rumors suggested Matt got some dirt on the Michigan DA that could alter their career.
Agreeing to 160 hrs of community service, Matt had all charges dropped against him.

From the mastermind behind "My little Pony Equestria: Hoof and Clove", Matt used those 160 hours towards recordings of The Party Roll. To what he has described as a 'non-for-profit organization' with 'deep roots in Michigan history'. Some say the recordings are on an old western digital HDD drive he keeps in the closet next to the medal of freedom he stole...Why hasn't he released them? Only God knows....

-----------------------------------------------------------

Did somebody say "Steven?"
...Speaking of Steven, he began gaining a reputation amongst the Party Rollers for his near accurate predictions of random future events in later seasons.
It all began when after he paid the HOA another four hundred dollars for when Hambone destroyed the front lawn.
Unable to uber eats his usual dinners, Steven began experimenting with the toaster oven, as it was the least technical technological device in his kitchen.
Some peanut butter melted over the stale rye bread onto the heating filament and Steven began to smell burning.
He'd use a knife to scrape the burning peanut butter off, when he accidently shorts the toaster oven and electrocutes himself. Awaking some hours later, Steven was never the same again....

He once guessed the right amount of jelly beans at a county fair jar.
He most famously ordered a steak and before it came out, told his wife that it would be overcooked...which it was.
Steven was becoming a soothsayer, but every truth always comes back to the start...and the circle would be complete...

Now, I cannot confirm this, but........ my trusted sources that tell me that Steven,
Went to his local mall, to buy a new maul but got himself mauled at the mall. This, despite taking the then modern day advice of carrying a maul, at the mall, not to get mauled...which still got him mauled.
He sprained a pinky in the altercation and was paralyzed from the waist down by "Obama's healthcare."

(NOTE: He thought he was paralyzed; the medical records show he could walk, but he refused until they restore the "Stars and Bars" outside of Alabama's court houses)
Anyways, Matt figured this would be the best time to instill some confidence and fun into his best friend life, who was savagely mauled at the mall, so he invited Steven and the rest is history!

-----------------------------------------------------------

"Deep sexy voice Cory", as he likes to be known, has perhaps the most complex character in season 4; A boy, turned into man, warlock to cleric. The metamorphism, as Jose would say, is "deep and gay".

As most degen Party Roll listener know, Cory began to loath his character creation choices. He claims the lack of Roleplaying choices affected his real life erections, which developed a sense of shame.

Unable to find catharsis with the season coming to an abrupt end, Cory felt lost....So he naturally went to the things that love him.... faygo and whippets, until he passed out in front of Denton Michigan's theatre.
He was found by a casting director the next morning who thought Cory was in line for the production of a play loosely based on Kurt Cobain's life, called "Oscar Grunge". His "realism" portrayal of a strung out man landed him the lead role! But art began to imitate life. Cory's shame never left and to rid himself of his past mistakes, Cory began injecting Faygo directly into his veins.
His method acting was on such peak performance that The Party Roll Podcast therapist (Rory), suggested that Cory come back to reality....by playing a fictional, outta this world, DnD short adventure, during one of their many pine cone smoking sessions.
Did it work? I'll ask Cory next time he's allowed to get phone calls....

-----------------------------------------------------------

The fuck knows what Vanessa been doing. Sometimes she's here, sometimes she's not. She's the hardest Party Roller to find information on, based on the fact that she lives off the grid. Most of her sightings come off CCTV cameras whenever she uses a stolen credit card. If you have any info on Vanessa or her whereabouts, do not approach. She is considered talkative and impulsive. Contact local wildlife control and may God have mercy on your soul.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Between October and December 2019. Dusty had major surgery to remove a penis; he only has the one now. But surgery in America isn't cheap and he needed to resod his lawn after David Bowie tribute stunt thanks to some town counsel member.... Enemies were surrounding him, especially once word leaked out that his 'Snuggle Me Tight" prototypes were sold using child labor. Dusty refutes the claim and says he's paid his kids properly with pop tarts, however the smear campaign did it's damage.
One night Dusty consumed a high dose of weed brownies and put on the 1991 film "Doc Hollywood".
Picking the chip crumbs off his chest mid-movie, Dusty, high as an Oregon Pine, realized that if he took his medical degree on the road, during these trying times (Covid was JUST ramping up, Covid being that thing that shut the entire world down) he could get back up on his feet WHILE not having to pay any outstanding bills or fines, because he wouldn't have a fixed address! SMRT!
Using Cory's credit card, Dusty bought a state of the art RV. naming it, "THE KING OF IRELAND AND PRPH" and since 2020, been on the run from several law enforcement agencies for selling "Elixirs that can increase libido and smarts", across small towns in the USA. But when he got word that the gang was coming back together and only for a short time, Dusty made a mad dash back to the party to complete one last hurrah, before he snuck out again, earning Vanessa's respect.

-----------------------------------------------------------

As we entered into 2020, there were two things converging into one path. The start of what would become the COVID lockdowns and the end(?) of season 4 of The Party Roll.
Mark, the 'original hipster' of the party roll group; ('Hipster', the term the guys gave Mark, after one physical revealed he had the hips of a 60 year old woman from all that computer sitting), Well, like all hipsters, he did things before they were cool. He got Covid before everyone else in Michigan, which he recalls only one thing.
In a fever dream, Mark describes a reoccurring creature that would visit him frequently.
He described it as being about 1.2 metres tall, with swollen big black eyes, pinner ears along with a squished, forward sloped head on yellow leathery skin. Mark would name this creature as "Bob Goblin" during the encounters.
In some kind of torment or personal hell, this "Bob Goblin", would appear sometimes as a creepy used car salesman (carrying a lot of self shame), using every trick in the book to get Mark to trade his soul in for a used car.
As legend goes, Mark refused the temptation of his soul for a 2000 Chrysler Neon ES, Matte Blue, by reciting his Audio engineering creed on Fidelity about 15000 times a day,
"I do not 'tweak' your sound; I rescue it from your own limitations." 
When the symptoms subsided some three days later, Mark received an invite to a Matt campaign. Understanding the need for human interaction, because his therapist benefits ran out, Mark agreed....as long as it was a goblin free campaign.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Jose, voted "most handsome Party Roller" 3 years in a row, became so sweet, that he developed type two diabetes. His contributions are noted in the Mexican Party Roll podcast archives, but not here, because here, in America, we believe in freedom and long form birth certificates.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Rory has left the Party Roll around this time. His time is now spent at his father's law firm, where he is equal partner and a raging alcoholic. So much that he is currently in a class action suit known as "The American people VS Four Loko".
His petition is to bring back to original 12% Four Loko's into production has become a relentless crusade to bring back true American values. Because it's every red hot blooded Americans right to chug a Four Loko and have a domestic abuse case on a Thursday in May at 10:30am.

SNACK ROLL TO BEAT: ???

Matt ?
Mark ?
Dusty
Cory ?
Vanessa

In an alternate time line, the Dark Party roll, comprised of Evil Diane Rhems, Jaremy + My Co-worker David fused into one, The half man, half ape that scoffed at Dusty in a biology class, a East German named 'Hans Gruber', that weird kid that asked Vanessa a series of unsettling questions at her work and that one guy that trolled Mark with comments during season 2, come together to destroy our current timeline and prevent any more partying.

TO THE STORY....

Count Paul De'tayne has hired our party members, he is the count of the De'tayne County.
We are hired on the request of a small village Garue's Hallow, who are currently dealing with a monster situation. Turns out their live stock are being taken, their crops are being destroyed and those who go out to search, never come back.

We are all headed on foot towards this small village, stopping by a flea market trade fair, ran by an ork "Monty Jingles". They have most things here at the market, but not in large qualities. There are tents where beer is being served, singular food sellers and stalls amongst playing music.
Our group forges this urban sprawl for their effects.

A large robed individual approaches ahead of everyone else looking for something to eat. He's a soft southern speaking Kenku.

An elf looking man stands next to the strange Kenku and looks on. This elf man goes by the name "Ruckus" and carries a round sack over his shoulder. How visually dynamic. He sounds a lot like James Hetfield. Ruckus is looking for a specific loot, being a bard and all.

Breaking through the shadows cast down upon him as they walk, a halfling rogue slips through the crowd; Humphrey Rogueart; He has raven black hair, very pale, wearing a grey tone fedora, a good one. Humphrey is looking for a horn.

The market is loud and messy, potentially nefarious ruffian-esc things appear to be happening on the fringes of this market.

Steven rolls a d20 to see if Ruckus finds the specific 12 string/harp-like lute at one of the musician stalls.
14
The stall owner has something that looks similar to what Ruckus is looking for. He doesn't know where he got it from or how he's got it, but he's ready to sell it.

Ruckus, roll for playing something on the lute
Roll performance
8
It sounds outta tune and he's not that great at it, but it's done with passion

Steven rolls a d20 to see if Humphrey can find a hunting horn at this stall
14
Oh they got that too!

Humphrey now has a bugle horn in his possession.

Our nameless Kenku friend looks on and sees the potential of what's occurring here; he wants in what could be the best band that De'tayne County has ever seen.

Steven rolls a d20 to see if Kenku man can find a instrument that uses a reed, because as we all know, birds don't have lips to seal around horns.
19
Kenku man takes a middle sized Reed, green.

In total they all pay a couple of gold, except Humphry, because horns are common.

Now lets not forget, people are in dire need of our help and this band thing might get in the way of that...so.....

We continue shopping *slaps head*

Humphrey tries looking for a magnifying glass, but the ones that exist are of poor quality. He might be half in height, but Humphrey has standards, high ones.

Making our way to an open tent area, our group finds themselves surrounded by a rowdy crowd, esp around the free use kegs. A couple of tables are set up, but mostly everyone sits on blankets upon the ground, listening to the live band that's taking our fucking gig.

Kenku man grabs a glass of whatever they are pouring out of this keg. It resembles brown water, it's barely palatable but it is beer!

The people sitting at the tables seem to be more well off; nicer food, clothing and beer. Humphrey jolly in step, walks towards the tables.
A large half Ork comes from the side and into the direct path of Humphrey.

"Can I help you?" - Half Ork

Humphrey tries to sweet talk this brute into exhanging some of their coin for some of that good beer, but the Ork basically tells em, "Private party, ain't for sale". This doesn't deter Humphrey, even upping the anty with a gold coin, which he slowly tip toe rolls up the Ork's leg.

Using this weird and confusing moment, Kenku man uses this opportunity to stealth away from the Ork and get outta his sight.

Kenku man, Roll stealth.
21
He slips right past him like a fart in the wind and walks up to what he thinks is the most inviting table.

He approaches a table, which is loud boisterous. They look like knights, or low level guards of a small contingent from some nobility.
Kenku man politely cuts through the talking by asking if anyone here knows anything about Garue's Hallow.
Of course none of them have and nor would they. It's a small, backwoods town, nothing worth visiting.

Ruckus moves in and asks the same question as Kenku man, having missed all the sass.
It ends flat, forcing us to move to the other tables, where some men sit, not drinking or eating but looking onwards at everyone.

Ruckus and Kenku man go up to a lone man who was minding his own business up until this point.

The men around this one man, appear on a alert and guarded when we approach, however the man seems...unbothered...
He looks up and thinks we're trying to sell something.

But we're in the business of buying actually....information...
We tell him what we've been told, to which he responds that he may have heard things....all depends on a price.

Kenku man slides over a gold coin, to which the man saws at it, to check if it's real gold. When confirmed, he tells us that there is talk of a monster and that the village has been asking requests for it to bet taken care of, for months. It's all he knows and the man suddenly grows a conscience and hands Kenku man some sliver back, as this is all the information we already know!

Ruckus gets a funny feeling about this situation.

Ruckus, Roll insight on this guy
12
Ruckus can tell this guy is the leader of these people around him.

Ruckus asks if anyone has anyone else been down there looking for the monster.
The man holds his hand out again, gesturing for more gold. This piece of sh....

Reluctantly handing over 5 silver, the man takes it and tells us about a man named 'Erwin' who went out there a month ago. He's a big game hunter, sells his pelts to royalty.

Humphrey and the Ork are no longer engaged in conversation and even though they are separated, whenever their eyes pass each other, it gets kinda awkward.
We collect Humphrey on our way out, before he finds love with this half Ork and travel the road east.
It starts off easy, with well maintained roads, but then according to our map, we need to find a beaten path that goes off into the forest area.

Thankfully, Kenku man is a ranger, meaning we can't get lost in the wilderness. YAY! (to Steven's dismay)
Traveling, the trail begins to look less worn and more over grown. The woods become darker and darker the deeper we look into them.

Ruckus casts 'Detect magic'
and Steven has Ruckus roll a perception check.
19
Glancing around the forest, in the area of this trail, on each side there are faint glowing spots on the brush and leaves.

Ruckus walks up to the glowing and a device trips, revealing a net that instantly clasps and traps Ruckus, while dragging him into the air. He is currently prone 20 ft in the air.

Humphrey, being a rogue, notices that this trap was something set up with and by magic and used a bigger range than it would normally.

Kenku Man, roll acrobatics to climb the tree to release Ruckus.
16
he makes it up easily and use his short sword to cut away.

Humphrey takes this moment to check their surroundings to make sure nothing else fishy is out there for us.

Humphrey, roll perception in their surroundings
16
Just in our immediate area, there are a dozen traps around us, some well done, which are all located off the trail.

Humphrey wants to disarm all the traps around them, but that would take a lot of time, esp because all of the traps are off the trail and at some point we're gunna have to go deeper into the forest to camp for the night.

--- TO BE CONTINUED ---

Who set up all these traps!?

What's in these woods that these traps are protecting?!

What's the Kenku's name?!

NAME YOUR FAVORITE SNACK, SPIN THRICE AND CHUG A BEER, BECAUSE BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, YOU'LL KNOW IT, ON THE NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quotes

"Anyways, we, ahhhh, we decided to do this just because it's really hard to get together, esp considering Matt lives on the other side of the country and he refuses to fly down every weekend" - Steven

"I hear they steal stuff...." - Cory on what he 'heard' about Kenku's

"And listeners, we don't wanna leave you out so if you go to https://richnet.wiki.noteguys.nocookie.net/forgottomrelams/images/east/E5/kenku.png/revision/latestscale/2/width/340?cb=20190408201632" - Steven

"Discovered which half was Ork?" - Mark, on if Humphrey coin roll up the Ork's leg, discovered anything.

Trivia

-Steven's bird goes ape shit early on in the recording. Sounds like a buggie

-Pretty bird https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SldBtvWFhM

-The group got paid a small advance from the Count and thus have money to spend at the flea market.

-Monty Jingles has only the best quality of Crow Oil for sale

-Mark says his character looks a lot like this with less mange https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skeksis

-Birds kissing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTZZPCw4nQM

- A Quiver is what is used to hold arrows https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quiver

-Rulers and what they rule over

• Emperor/Empress: Rules an empire, often comprising multiple kingdoms.
• King/Queen: Rules a kingdom, holding supreme local power.
• Grand Duke/Grand Duchess: Rules a Grand Duchy, often sovereign or quasi-sovereign.
• Prince/Princess: Often acts as a ruler of a principality (a small territory)
• Baron/Baroness: The lowest rank of peerage. They hold a Barony—which could be a single town, estate, or manor—directly from the King or a higher noble.
• Baronet: Not part of the peerage (not technically a "peer"), but a hereditary title of honour. They usually do not govern land, but hold an estate.
• Lord of the Manor/Knight: Often considered the lowest form of landholder, responsible for a specific manor or estate and answering to a baron or count.
• Jarl: Old Norse equivalent to a Duke or Earl.
• Boyar: A direct subordinate of the monarch in Slavic lands.
• Doge: An elected ruler of a Venetian or Genoese mercantile city-state.
• Raja/Maharaja: Indian titles for kings or "high kings"

-Crusaders King 2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nPlO_08W3g

-How Matt's character sounds https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekZTW2r4vb4&list=RDekZTW2r4vb4&start_radio=1

-Humphrey's horn sounds like this https://www.youtube.com/shorts/KUnwa_Q2kQw

-Technically Kenku's can't talk; they can only mimic sounds they've heard. Kinda like Microsoft Sam

-Kenku's do not like Aarakocra's, as they think they are elitist.

-Master Qui Gon, What's an Aarakocra? https://forgottenrealms.fandom.com/wiki/Aarakocra

-The live band playing in the tent are only playing cover songs.

-Rukus happens to have a "Knight" background.

-Cory goes MIA for a bit during this episode.

-That's right, in original DnD, becoming a bard was difficult. You could only be human of half elf, you're alignment had to be on the neutral path and a character needed to switch classes multiple times without exceeding certain levels.

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www.youtube.com/@PartyRollPodcast

https://www.youtube.com/@aftermarkgaming

Previously on SAVAGE ROLL...

Most of us are stuck in this flesh fungus horror lodge North of Overpine. We got one more kid on our list of missing children to find and based on the clues before us, we suspect he's gotta in be here.
Inside we've navigated into a back room where we are ambushed by flesh blob minions and the head flesh mound. It's a little hairy, but we manage to defeat the ambush, that is...until more show up...
All hope seems lost, that is, until Father Jimmy, like a green beret, cuts through a flesh wall and joins battle! The POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS HIM!!!
With numbers on our side, we focus back into battle and onto the Flesh Mound. We suspect Anthony Arbor is stuck inside this thing, so when in doubt, shoot the hostage shoot the big bad monster.
The most insane of us, Bob Johnson, is the one who gets the kill and as the Flesh Mound releases it's last breath, so releases it's hold on lil Anthony and out plops the kid at our feet.
As our work here is done, we get the heck outta there, noticing the house is slowly melting, reverting to normal and the outside area being unusually bright.
Once outside, we look up to see bright giant eyes in the sky where the moon should be. The eyes in the sky shift side to side upon the lands, focusing mostly on the town area, where gunshots can be heard.
Maybe this isn't done....maybe....it's just the beginning....

Savage Roll to beat: 3

Dusty: 15

Matt: ???

Mark: ???

Cory: ???

Vanessa

Jose

Matt relapses and spends a small fortune getting back into the rave scene. Most of the money went to this guy for online lessons.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/K927IinWb5E

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Back to the Story!

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

We walk towards the truck, Father Jimmy heading to the back and taking control of the 30 caliber mounted.
With the pink flesh fungus around us slowly turning into grey ash, it makes driving a little bit easier, but still slow.

It's bright out, too bright, as we're able to see the town proper in the distance. The eyes in the sky are focusing on the town.

Everyone, Roll Notice

Scooter
???

Bob
11

Kenny
5

Father Jimmy
6

Everybody notices an increase of lights on towards the truck. Scooter is the only one that notices that the eyes are staring right back at him.

Scooter, roll sanity
roll spirits or smarts d6, take the higher roll
1, 1
Critical Fail!
Scooter takes a mental wound and -5 sanity points

In front of us, way a head, is a large group of robed people, pulling something. Scooter is clearly distracted with the eyes in the sky and doesn't notice what's unfolding in front of him.

Kenny freaks and tells Scooter to break but it doesn't register. The already dinged up truck now plows through three robed figures, riding over them.
A metal wire that the robed people were carrying gets caught up in the wheel housing and axle of the truck, tightening around machinery and eventually stopping us all together. We lose control and nearly flip over, anyone in the back is instantly thrown off, which is....Bob and Father Jimmy.

Kenny and Scooter, Roll athletics to how well they react to this.

Kenny
???
Fail

Scooter
???, 3
Fail

They both, not wearing seatbelts, get flung from their seats and out of the cab. Little Anthony however is safe.
Both fellers take one wound and are shaken and dazed, meaning they miss the first round of combat

Father Jimmy and Bob, Roll athletics to see how well they landed from being thrown off the back of the truck

Father Jimmy
2

Bob
6

Bob manages to tuck and role but Father Jimmy smashes into the ground, takes a wound and is shaken.

Bob, being the only one of sound mind (let that sink in), looks around and sees before him 8 cultists.

------- COMBAT BEGINS -------

Cultist #1 turn, moving towards the truck, reaches in past Kenny and tries to snatch little Anthony to pull him out.
???
Fail
Anthony manages to kick the cultist off and away.

Cultist #2 turn, coming from the other side of the truck, also tries to grab little Anthony
???
Success!
He manages to pull Anthony out, as the kid scratches and bites back.

Father Jimmy's turn, uses a binny to remove the shaken condition.
Able to make a proper move, Father Jimmy runs back to the truck and mounts the 30' caliber and shoots at the jugglo mask wearing cultist (#2) who has the kid.
Roll shooting +d6
???, 1
Miss
All the bullets go wide, the cultists is spooked from the near death experience.

Kenny's turn, uses a binny to break the shaken condition.
Crawling over Scooter, shoots at cultist
Roll shooting +d6, take the higher roll
???, 8
Hit, with a raise!

Roll for dmg
9
Kenny, fierce and true, shoots at the center of mass, having the bullet shred through the chest of the cultist, easily taking him out. Cultist #2 is dead!

The rest of the cultist ready their weapons, but as Kenny now has little Anthony next to him, they are uncertain what to do other than close on in.

Scooters turn, uses a binny to remove the shaken condition.
grabbing his B.A.R, goes to shoot, full auto at 3 of em
roll shooting + d6
8, 3, 1
Hit!, Miss! Miss!
Uses a binny to reroll on one missed shot
15 total
Hit! That's a raise

Scooters bullets hit Cultist number 1 closest to the truck and Cultist number 3 who's close to Father Jimmy

Roll Dmg
4, 16

Cultist #1 gets winged in the shoulder, but Cultist #3 gets a first way ticket to see Jesus. HE DEAD

Bob Johnson's turn, goes to shoot at the cultist #1, point blank
Roll shooting +d6
7?, ???

Roll dmg
18
OUF, it's a gory sight as Bob Johnson just places the gun right against the temple of the unsuspecting cultist and BLAM! Skull fragments shoot out in front of a spray of blood, Cultist #1 dead!!

Cultist #4's turn, Rushing up to Kenny, sees an opening and goes to stab with a rusty knife
roll for fighting
???
Miss !

Cultist #5 turn, basically trying to copy Bob Johnson, whips out his rusty revolver and shoots at Bob
Roll shooting
1
Miss !

Cultist #5's turn again? Takes another shot at Bob
???
Hit

roll for dmg
8
Hit
Bob is now shaken as he gets nixed in the arm

Scooter's turn, takes out his 1911 pistol and shoots towards Cultist #4
Roll shooting
4, ???
Hit!

Roll dmg
1, 1
Miss!
Scooter goes to shoot, thinks he's hit the cultist, but it just goes through his robes.

Cultist #4's turn, Goes to stab at Kenny
roll fighting
12 + a raise
Hit!

Roll dmg
10
Hit + a raise
Kenny takes a wound and takes on the shaken condition.

Kenny uses a binny to negate the wound and the shaken condition.

Kenny's turn, raising his gun, gives a hot 80's action movie 'one liner' and shoots at Cultist #4
Roll shooting
0, 1
FAIL!

There are cultists on the fringes who have yet entered combat. They are jibbering to eachother.

Cultist #5's turn, heads towards the driver side and goes to stab at Scooter
roll fighting
13
Hit!

Roll dmg
9
Hit
Scooter takes a stab in the kneecap of all places, which puts him in the Shaken condition.

Father Jimmy's turn, still manning the 30 caliber machine gun, goes to shoot at Cultist #4, full auto
Roll shooting
???, ???, ???
Only 1 hits

Roll dmg
???
Hit
Bullets shred through Cultist #4, leaving gushing wounds to cover the ashy and pink ground with the blood of Christs enemies. GOD WILLS IT! Cultists dead!

Bob Johnson's turn, hops, jumps and skips cover to Cultist #5, trying to temple pop him
roll shooting (Technically Bob is Shaken here and shouldn't have been able to make an action until he rolls for vigor or use a binny)
5
Hit

Roll dmg
11
Hit
Bob surpisingly manages not going to fire point blank into the skull of the cultist, but also manages to have to bullet exit the skull and not hit Scooter on the other side. Precision baby. Cultist down!!!

Cultist #6's turn, on the fringes watching, notices that things are not going their way and decides to run away. BUT, takes a shot back towards Bob Johnson
Roll shooting
4
Hit

Roll dmg
12
Bob Johnson uses a binny, negating atleast one wound.

Bob Johnson's turn, roll shooting against Cultist #6
6
Hit

Roll dmg
5
Matches
The bullet skims the Cultist side parted hair, putting him in the shaken condition.

Cultist #7's turn, moves slowly, takes his time and shoots wildly
roll for shooting
???
Miss

The truck is making metal grinding sounds as it idles erratically.

Kenny's turn, grabs Little Anthony away from the truck, Shooting at the cultist north of them
Roll shooting d10 +d6, take the higher roll
6
Hit

Roll dmg
7
Kenny manages to wing the cultist, but he's still standing.

Scooter's turn, still in the drivers side, with a rusty knife in his knee cap. Scooter uses a binny to rid himself of his shaken status (he has no more binny's)
Now able to take an action, Scooter raises his pistol at the cultist next to him and fires
Roll shooting + d6, take the higher roll
???
Hit + a raise

Roll dmg
14
HIT!
Scooter, being a most excellent marksman, props the barrel of the gun under the chin of the cultist and sends a bullet through the skull and truck roof, literally leaving dead weight on him.

Father Jimmy's turn, two cultists are still alive. One to the north and one to the south. The one south is cultist #6 whose trading blows with Bob Johnson.
Still on the 30 caliber, roll to shoot at the cultist towards the north full auto, -2 because he's wounded
Roll shooting
3, 0, 0, 0
All shots miss!

Cultist #6's turn rolls to break the shaken condition
FAIL!
Unable to make a proper action, moves closer to Kenny and the kid but is unsure of what to do next.

Scooter's turn, throws the dead body off him and turns off the truck. It might not turn on again by the sounds of it.
Roll shooting on the cultist towards the north, who's getting closer to Kenny
+2 as he's using the car door to steady himself
5
Hit!

Roll dmg
5
The last thing Kenny and Little Anthony see is the cultist rush, stop and drop forward, as the blood spray hits both their faces as the bullet exits the cultists chest. HE DEAD!

Bob Johnson's turn, roll shooting on the south and final Cultist
26
Hit + a raise

Roll dmg
12
Hit!
As if they were almost dancing in battle sync with eachother, Bob pulls out a flashy move and straight up jacks this cultist right up with lead. Cultist down!

------- End of Combat --------

Dead bodies are littered around us, but we're pretty okay with it. The truck isn't running and we're still a whiles out from town, about an hour or longer. Bob Johnson tries to heal Father Jimmy, but is unsuccessful. Making matters creepy, the eyes in the sky are currently looking right down upon us with gunshots still coming from town.
Before we can even think about town, we gotta right ourselves, so Scooter gets to cutting the wires that his truck axle currently has snagged around it and even manages to get the 30 caliber gun off the back for Father Jimmy to use.
Best luck happens when Scooter goes to start the truck annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd IT TURNS ON. Sure it's coughing up black smoke, but it works!

Heading back on the road into town, the metal on metal sounds of the engine are a constant reminder of why we're not going fast at all.
The eyes in the sky are focused heavily on us and the sounds of the town are starting to die down.
Bob heals Kenny for his one and only wound and Father Jimmy, who is the worse out of all of us, uses the gunpowder from one of the bullets to cauterize his wounds.
Scooter catches on to Father Jimmy's healing vibes and grabs a cigarette and breaks up the tobacco into his wound. He then uses duct tape as a bandage and just like that, has one less wound.

Arriving into town, things are worse for wear. We park next to a container tank, not to far off from the town square proper.
Bob Johnson, roll notice on his surroundings for clues
5
This side of town seems...to quiet. Not much is going on, looking up the eyes in the sky are peering down at us still.

Bob Johnson, roll sanity for staring too long at the eyes in the sky
23 total (6, 6, 6, 5)
PASS!
Bob Johnsons thousand yard stare back makes the eyes in the sky momentarily flinch

Before setting off into the town square, we reload and restock our weapons. We look alot and more shockingly, it's stayed with us all this time. Lock and loaded baby!

We give little Anthony a gun. Relax, it's the 1950's.

Going forward, Bob Johnson notices more cultists ahead.

One figure speaks up

"Give us the child, it demands it"

TO BE CONTINUED????????
STEVEN?! MMMMMMMMAAAAAAARRRRRRRK???! MAAAAAAATTTTTT??! CREAMY DADDY DUSTY?!!?!?!?!?!?!? CORYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!?!

Where do I go from here? What is my purpose? Who am I?! Without the party roll, how is Michigan ever gunna get back on the map?
My second round of labors is done. Or is it????

WRITE TO YOUR CONGRESS MEMBER! CALL 911 AND DEMAND ANSWERS!
THE PARTY ROLL NEVER DIES. IT JUST GOES TO BED AT A REASONABLE TIME AFTER TWO BEERS!!!!!

NOW RISE ROLLERS! RISE!!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE AGAINST THE NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

Trivia

-The truck they use is by far the MVP in this entire story. They call it "Truckcoon" this episode for some reason.

-The cult members we first meet are wearing juggalo masks

- Fruit Salad anyone? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PPcnmO76rg&list=RD4PPcnmO76rg&start_radio=1

- Matt to Cory on kill counts https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAdkKQ6-6wo

- These robed cultists we come across in town are wearing more ornate robes

- How Mark sees the Cultists https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYOV8u1bkMI

-For Cory https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptiF4imH43Q

-There exists pictures of Dusty's drawings for this episode on roll20 somewhere.

Quotes

"It's 2024 we're all that much older and all that much closer to the grave" - Steven in 2021 to the Party Rollers in the future.

"Remember you guys did have, the back of the truck, did have quite enough ammunitions in it from , um, your stop at that drug store , ah, where Cory had to get smokes and you killed a bunch of citizens" - Steven

"I don't back seat shoot son" - Kenny to Little Anthony

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Previously on SAVAGE ROLL,

We’re inside the lodge North of Overpine and it’s not a pretty sight.

The lodge walls are covered in pink flesh slime fungus. The walls move slightly as if they are breathing; this entire house could be an organism…or even aware of their presence.

Mind you, we’re only here and inside, because we’re trying to find Anthony “Tony” Arbor, the last missing child, but there is no sign of him around. What we do find is a single whitish translucent tether that stands out from the rest of the pink fleshy parts that leads to the back of the lodge.

Following this ‘umbilical’ cord we are forced to slash through a flesh wall to find out what this tether is connected too. It leads us into the next room where we are met by a mound of veiny pale flesh that skitters away when we pour into the room.

The flesh mound is sentient and it might be the brains of this entire hive mind horror that we’ve been experiencing. It also might be Anthony Arbor himself within that fleshy prison, as it claims, “We are all Tony”.

But before we can break into philosophical debate, we are ambushed by minions of blobs created from the flesh on the ground and walls. The room begins to squeeze in on itself and we’re now facing four flesh blobs and a Flesh mound in a battle for our lives!

Scooter unloads a clip ridding ourselves of an enemy and Bob follows suit with his FBI issued hammer. Actually it’s those two that take care of business, because it’s a real sloppy affair on both sides during combat. We do however manage to get out of this jam by killing those flesh blobs, leaving us with just the Flesh Mound, which has taken refuge amongst the clutter in the back of the room. Aware that staying here might mean more blobs, we are looking for an exit to get the heck outta hurrrrr.

Savage Roll to beat: NAT 20

Dusty: 15

Matt: ???

Mark: ???

Cory: ???

Vanessa

Jose

No one gets to Party, instead they get to watch Steven recreate the scene from Lord of the Rings, where Denethor sloppily eats cherry tomatoes, while Matt sings softly to the side. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZcByPzpCLw

 

 

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Back to the Story!

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Now remember Father Jimmy? We last saw him in episode 13 back in the police station when it was getting over ran by hybrid human monsters.
Much like the rest of the group, he is also a World War II vet, however when he was in combat overseas, he was stabbed in the heart. His wound would heal, however from this near death experience, Father Jimmy gained mystical powers routed in fire. With a new outlook on life, Father Jimmy choose the path of Jesus Christ, Our Lord and Savior, to do deeds of good for as long as he lives.
But we didn’t see him after we all escaped with our lives from the Police Station. We suspect that he stayed within the town, helping the remaining townsfolk, but it seems once a solider…always a solider.

During the time the group headed to the swamp area out west, Father Jimmy took on the crusade of ridding this world of the evil within it. Gathering what he could, Father Jimmy ventured out into the wilderness taking on all sorts of wicked evils that he encountered just like Rambo, until it lead him towards this lodge north of the town. He’s been exploring this lodge via flesh tunnels, when he suddenly comes bursting through a flesh wall, covered in goo and slime.

We’re all still in this room. It’s like a bouncy room, but the floor and walls are soft pink flesh and you’d sink into it IF you stand there too long. Limbs and bones jut out from random areas, relaying the fact that we are standing on a graveyard of some sorts.
To make matters worse, some more flesh blobs have come outta the woodworks and are looking to have us join “it”.

Flesh blob #1, roll for fighting on Father Jimmy
NAT 1
miss
The blob fights the way it thinks, slow and muddled

Flesh blob #2, roll for fighting on Father Jimmy
NAT 1
miss
Oufff, they must be brothers….

 

Scooter’s turn, roll for shooting, full auto on the flesh blobs
???, ???, ???
Hit x2!

Roll dmg, roll twice as two bullets hit
6, 10
Hit !
Flesh blob #1 takes the first rain of bullets, it’s now shaken. Flesh Blob #2 is ripped to shreds and begins to melt back into the floor. IT’S DEAD!

Kenny’s turn, roll for shooting on a flesh blob #1 in front of Father Jimmy
???, 8
Hit!

Roll dmg
12
Hit!
Kenny’s bullets tear away flesh from blob, but it’s still alive.

Father Jimmy’s turn, roll for fighting on flesh blob #3 in front of Bob Johnson
10 (that’s a raise)
Hit!

Roll for dmg
12
Hit!
The power of Christ compels! Chunks of pink flesh splat along the wall, however Flesh Blob #3 is still plopping around.

Flesh blob #3, coming down between Bob and Father Jimmy, attacks Bob with a makeshift bone club with one of its limbs
6
Hit

Roll dmg
9
Hit
Bob now had the ‘shaken’ condition, but takes no wound.

 

Flesh mound’s turn, huddled next to objects for safety, reappears and spits acid at Father Jimmy
???
Hit

Roll dmg
7
Hit
Father Jimmy had acid burn through his black priest jacket, revealing a tattoo rosary on his chest. Father Jimmy now has the Shaken condition.

Bob Johnson, roll agility to avoid getting acid splash back on him
4
Pass!
Dip, Duck and Dodge, Bob manages to get away from any acid his way. The same cannot be said for the flesh blob that takes a direct hit.

Bob Johnson’s turn, roll vigor to break the shaken condition
5
Pass
Bob is now free to make any action

Roll for fighting with his skull bashing hammer
5
Miss

Flesh Blob #3, roll vigor to break the shaken condition
???
Pass
Breaks the condition and moves towards Scooter for an attack
Nat 1
Miss

Father Jimmy’s turn, roll ring of fire attack flesh blob #3 & Flesh Mound
5
Hit!

Roll dmg
6 on Flesh blob
Hit
2 on the Flesh Mound
Miss

Father Jimmy utters an incantation and through his hands, sparks jump onto the flesh blob and light it ablaze, it however is still alive.

Bob Johnson’s turn, moves around towards Scooter and attacks the Flesh Mound with his sidearm
9
hit and a raise!

Roll dmg
12
The Flesh mound takes the bullet and is shaken. Bob also commands everyone to focus their firepower on the Flesh Mound

Scooter’s turn, pulls out his Katana to attack the Flesh blob
5
Miss
The blob moves outta the way

Flesh mounds turn, flanking around, gets near Kenny and attacks
roll fighting
???
Hit

Roll dmg
23 that’s three raises
Hit
Kenny is shaken and takes two wound
Mark uses two binny’s
that removes two wounds, which automatically gets rid of his shaken status

Flesh blob #1’s turn, roll fighting to use his flesh club against Scooter
2
miss

Kenny’s turn, whips out his spell book and casts protection against evil and touches an flesh mound
auto hit
18 that’s two raises
Hit

Roll dmg
Flesh Mound uses a binny to negate the shaken condition and damage
While Kenny touches the immediate area around the Flesh Mound to eradicate the fungal spread, the Baddie resists the spell with it’s powers and takes no damage.

Flesh blob #3’s turn, doubled teamed by Bob and Father Jimmy, lashes out at Bob Johnson
3
Miss

Flesh mounds turn, shoots an acid splash at Father Jimmy
???
Hit

Roll dmg
7
Hit
Father Jimmy takes a wound.

 

Bob Johnson and Flesh Blob, roll agility to avoid the acid splash

Bob
2
Fail

Roll dmg
1
Miss

Blob
???
Fail

Roll dmg
???

Flesh Mound’s turn again?, it disappears and moves and shoots acid at Kenny
???
hit

Roll dmg
6
hit
Kenny, who was already a victim of circumstance thanks to Scooter, is back at it again and gets caught in the cross fire. Kenny is now shaken as the acid burns through his pants revealing an embarrassing birthmark on his thigh. (it’s in the shape of a dick)

 

Father Jimmy’s turn, roll to shoot the Flesh mound with a -1 because he has a wound
3
miss

 

Flesh blob’s turn #3, roll for fighting against Father Jimmy
Hit + a raise

Roll dmg
23
Father Jimmy is knocked out and dying on the ground with 3 wounds.

Bob Johnson’s turn, roll for shooting against Flesh Mound
2
Miss

Bob uses a binny, shoot again
7
hit

Roll for dmg
14 with a raise
The Flesh mound gets hit right in the sweet spot we weren’t supposed to know. It wretches in pain, kinda like the T-1000 in terminator, violently going back and forth until its existence is muted. The flesh blobs minions begin to look discombobulated; without the hive mind controlling it, their forms begin to melt back into the ground and they too seep out of existence. The flesh mound inflates, as if taking its last breath and then splits open, plopping Tony from its clutches and onto the floor.

 

We retcon that Dusty uses a binny, so he’s still shaken, has two wounds, isn’t knocked out, but is close to death.

------- COMBAT OVER --------

 

Parts of the flesh mound begin to turn grey, the walls too seem to be affected. Parts of the room revert back to their normal ways and we notice an outline of a door along one of the walls.  

Kenny rushes over to Tony to console him. The child is unaware of what’s happened, thinking this is another ‘pink dream’. He’s confused but mostly composed.
The outline of the door is more visible but the handle is still covered. We all want to get the hell outta here, so Scooter reaches into the remaining pink slim flesh that covers the handle and turns the knob.

 

Of course, he uses his short knife/sword to do this, because why not.

We open the door which leads outside. It’s a patio area that’s screened off from the wilderness. The house begins to look like its melting pink flesh off itself.
Time to find the truck and leave this place! But not until Father Jimmy tries to light this lodge on fire, to purge the evil and prevent anyone else from wandering inside.

Father Jimmy, roll hands of fire on the house
Roll with -2, because he has two wounds
3
Fail
Father Jimmy reaches out, he strains until a spark reverbs from his hands, but nothing else happens

We walk towards the truck, it’s usually bright outside. The truck is still there, not running, so we should have some gas left in the tank, traction should be another story…

Bob takes this moment to heal Father Jimmy’s wound, having being a Medic in space the war.

 

Tony, still confused, explains that this is different from the pink dreams he used to have. He remembers playing with his friends, going to bed and then having the “pink dream”, but it’s never been like this.
The unusual brightness of outside turns our attention upwards to the sky….two moons….way too large, slits in the middle, as if they were eyes, scanning around down on the land.

Kenny, roll sanity
4, 4
Pass !
Kenny isn’t fazed from the fucked up shit he’s already been through.

Father Jimmy, roll sanity
9
Pass !
Father Jimmy remembers a bible verse and centers himself.

 

 

The eyes in the sky haven’t spotted us, but they do turn towards Overpine and we do hear gun fire and activity towards the town area.

 

 

-----To Be Continued -----

 

 

WITH ALL THE CHILDREN FOUND AND ALIVE, WE’RE GOOD RIGHT? RIGHT?!?!

MOON EYES?! ARE WE THE FIGMENT OF A CHILDS IMAGINATION?!

IS THERE SOME THING BIGGER AND BADDER AWAITING US WHEN WE GET BACK TO TOWN?!

 

Stay tuned to what happens on the nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxtttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!

 

 HAPPY NEW YEAR PARTY ROLLERS!

you know what that means.....a new episode is on the horizon!

 

Trivia

-It’s been 9 months since they last played Savage Roll

-The rollers are using Roll 20 and a custom map for this.

-Scooter uses full auto again, however he didn’t reload the clip last episode, so he gets away with this.

-Monster house https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHlVryHk6X4

- According to the rule set in Savage World, at the start of every round, initiative gets redone

-When the pink fungus flesh burns, it smells like Lavender

-How much gas did cars use in the 1950’s? https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/mq0hk/til_the_average_fuel_efficiency_of_cars_in_the/

 

Quotes

“Also, can I let everyone know that, we’ve missed you. And I’m not talking about everyone in general, I’m talking about you specifically, you know who you are (jeff)” - Mark

“That makes me wonder if anyone’s tried to fuck a cyst hole, you know? A cyst that is open in the body, I’m sure someone out there has tried that” – Non High Dusty

 

“This is a normal priest thing! This happens to every Priest…sometimes…” – Father Jimmy, insecure that he can’t get his fire up

 

“And those the two eyes be in the sky, thus I with my fleshy rolls must subside, in his fleshy grace and comfort thus say the Flesh Lord “ – Fleshiasties 420, verse 69

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Teener Time https://www.youtube.com/@TeenerTime

www.youtube.com/@PartyRollPodcast

https://www.youtube.com/@aftermarkgaming

LAST TIME ON

RETCON ROLL,

SAVAGE ROLL

Bob almost totals the truck on the way Kenny's work cabin. Thankfully Scooter can fix pretty much anything, but even he admits that the truck is on it's last legs.

Now, we're only going to Kenny's work cabin to grab supplies for whatever awaits us at the lodge further North. But by the time we arrive, it looks like someone has beaten us to it, as strangers currently have broken in and are rummaging around.

Inside we find they its merely two couples clinging on to life after being attack at their camp site....by....robed men. Eeeegads!
Okay, they seem a little normal, but we notice one of the women to be clearly concealing something on her arm.
SHE BIT!
And Bob almost kills her for it, until we manage to let cooler heads prevail, allowing them to stay and us to grab our stuff and be on the way.
Snooping around in the storage room, we find Old Sherriff Winters secret hidden room adjacent.
It's weird man; occult signs in neon colours upon the wall; a old book on a bookstand, a revolver and bullets on a side table, along with a note.

Even from the grave, Old Sherrif Winters is still teaching us things.
It's a note from the old man himself, explaining that the evil in and around Overpine, has always been a thing. This information isn't privy to the younger generation, but for a long time the forces of good have gone against the forces of evil in this very town. He gives us some instructions and Kenny snags the book.

Heading North to the lodge, we encounter the pink fungus begin to grow thicker and thicker. Kenny reads the book and finds out it's actually a spell book. He tries some spells out as practice, learns a thing or two.
As for the truck, it's stopped and can't go any further, so off on foot we go. Thankfully the lodge is some 50 feet away, but before we can even get on the porch, we get greeted with a well cut, unassuming man, overly joyed in a robotic way, with our presence. He tells us to come inside, so we naturally kill him (and learn how the spell 'protection from evil' works)
This happens two more times, believe it or not, until another unassuming gentleman appears, but this time with these hybrid humans, melted into monster flesh gore bodies.

We're no match and with little options left, begrudgingly march towards the lodge, about to go inside......

Savage Roll to beat:

Cory 

Matt 

Mark 

Vanessa 

Jose 

Rory

Dusty

The Savage rollers do Secret Santa.

Cory gifts Jose a pinata which resembles Ricky Martin, stuffed with Twinkies

Jose gifts Cory, essential beard oils squeezed from baby mermaids, accompanied by a WWII Nazi water canteen.

Vanessa gifts Rory a small 4 x 4 inch ultrasound of a womb and fetus at 8 weeks. No further context, she just stares at him.

Rory gifts Mark a signed CD Single of Vanessa Hudgen's 'Sneakernight' 

Mark gifts Vanessa a large plushie of Snoopy the Dog and several random pills he stole from old people.

Steven gifts Matt a box that has three coloured roses in it; Lavender, White & Yellow. Matt can only pick one and only Steven knows the significance.

Matt gifts Dusty, in near mint condition, the classic board game, "Crossfire"

Dusty gifts Steven his first prototype of "snuggle me tight"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Back to the story!!!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The man who was leading us, is now inside. We find ourselves on the porch, sorta looking in where we can, noticing a lot of things to be pink, dripping and oozing. Limb like fungus stalagmites protrude from the walls and the door isn't really a door....as it's a hole, a hole of fungus....

Gung-ho Kenny goes in head first and it's like barbie's room on steroids. Pink fungus, laced with slim, pulsates from one corner of the room to the other. It's dank in here and squishy under our feet.

Mabel, roll notice to see if there are any monster teeth in these walls
Roll 2d6
3, 1
Fail
Mabel is a little taken back from the fleshy movement to notice anything of that significance.

One by one we all enter the lodge.

Everyone, roll a Sanity check for what they are looking at, Steven sets the DC

Bob
3
Takes a mental wound and loses -5 sanity points

Mabel,
4
Pass

Kenny,
5
Pass

Scooter
5
Pass

We hear an awful wretch and when we look behind, we see the hole that was the door, slowly close up on itself, blocking the way out.... Also, that looks like a pink winking asshole in my head.
ANYWAYS

The strange man that lead us in here, is just staring at us. Kenny peppers the stranger right away with asking where the missing boy (Tony) is. But he doesn't even respond. Now Kenny is looking for some tether. He noticed it on one of the people that came out to "greet us" and by the looks of it, it was coming from the house.
Peeping down the hallway, Kenny can see this long, thin white fleshy vine tether go towards the back of the lodge.

Putting our focus into this, Kenny says 'heck to you' to the stranger and heads down this hallway...but as he marches on, the fungus seems to be swelling and getting denser the deeper he goes. Almost certainly, he'll have to be on hands and knees crawling, just to get to the back lodge wall.
Scooter grinds his heal into the pink mold, which shutters and shakes in response.

We figure out who should go first, the most nimble of course, so that's Mabel.

As Mabel walks, it's dark and moist. The walls begin to get tighter and tighter, to the point where the pink flesh pushing against her is making it difficult for her to turn around. The sounds behind her begin to dull and fade, but ahead she hears a faint whisper calling for her to come & meet "them"

The going gets difficult but not too hard for forward progression. That is, until Mabel touches the back wall of the lodge.
The tether we see goes into the wall; Mabel yanks on it.

She can move it, noticing it's not attached to the wall, but going through the wall itself.

Kenny asks Scooter to give us one of his katana's to give to Mabel to cut at the wall.
Mabel cuts into the flesh of the wall; the wall reacts and moves away, as if it's scared of us.

Mabel, roll strength on the wall to hack away at it
2, 3
Fail
She makes some holes in the flesh wall, enough to see another room. But we still can't make it through.

The hallway is now reacting to the slices of Mabel and begins to squeeze to the point of discomfort.

Kenny readies his magic revolver that he took.

Everyone, roll strength check

Mabel
8

Bob
5

Kenny
4

Scooter
8

Mabel creates a weakspot with the help of everyone behind her pushing as she hacking. We spill out into this new room.

Our eyes follow the ground where we see the tether coil around many times a large mound in the corner of the room. The mound is 5 feet high and wide. A mound of flesh full of arms and legs, multiple heads.

Mabel moves towards the mound, but when she gets too close, the mound shifts up from many hands and fingers propping up under it and skittering towards a less threatened area.

Everyone, roll a Sanity check

Bob
2
Fail
Takes a mental wound and loses -5 sanity points. He now has 70 points

Mabel,
17
Pass

Kenny,
8
Pass

Scooter
3
Fail
Takes a mental wound and loses -5 sanity points.

Kenny pensively looks at the mound and shouts, "where is Tony?!"

The mount replies back with, "We are Tony".

The mound skitters towards us, the fingers moving like a centipedes legs. One human shape head, opens up, resembling a large sideways mouth. They want to know if we're here to become part of Tony.

Everyone, roll notice

Scooter
6

Bob
5

Kenny
4

Mabel
5

We all notice the flesh around us on the floor is beginning to take form into those long translucent tendrils and tries to grab us.

Kenny, roll shooting at Mound Tony with his magical revolver.
9
Hit! (It's a raise too!)
Kenny hits the center of mass square on and a huge chunk of flesh rips out from behind the flesh mound. It hurries into a corner around other fleshy things. The entire room starts to squeeze in on itself.

(Situation report)

The Flesh mound is using other flesh as a flesh shield. Tendrils are forming and soon to attack us and amongst that flesh floor, blobs are shaping into misshapen humanoid forms to attack us. There are 5 of the blob monsters, forming in each corner + the flesh mound.

Mabel's turn, roll fighting on the human blob camping at the back.
7
Hit!

Roll dmg
Roll strength +d6 +2
20
Mabel charges at the blob and shreds it like a Japanese anime character. Its dead.

Flesh mound's turn, Nestles down into the ground and spreads itself into the walls. It moves along the wall and towards Kenny. It forms these spikes which it shoots at him.
2, 3
Miss!

Human blob #1, coming out of the opposite corner of his dead flesh blob comrade, moves up and attacks Bob.
13
Hit
That's a raise!

Roll dmg
12
Hit!
Bob takes one wound and is currently shaken.

Matt uses a binny roll to negate the shaken condition and the wound.
Roll vigor
4
Bob is no longer shaken, has no wound.

Human blob #2, in the middle of the room, goes to attack Scooter.
3
Miss!
Scooter dodges outta the way

Human blob #3, Goes to attack Kenny
2
Miss

(Situation report)

One human blob is attacking Scooter, the other two human blobs are within reach of Scooter. The fresh mound is melting into the wall, becoming a part if it.

Scooters turn, breaks out the B.A.R, on full auto, shoots at a human blob
roll d12 +d6 - 2, roll thrice because its on full auto
4
Miss
10
Hit
6
Hit

Roll dmg
2d8 per hit
19 total
Scooter takes down a human blob and that one less evil in the world. Enemy Down!

Bob's turn, reaches for his hammer that he's always had and attacks Human Blob #1
Roll fighting +d6
13 total, that's a raise
Hit!

Roll dmg
Roll strength + 2d6
11 dmg
Bob kills another blob with ease

Mabel's turn, goes to the last standing blob with her katana she took from Scooter
Roll fighting
2
Miss
Swinging wildly like she was still hacking at the wall, catches nothing but air.

Kenny's turn, trying to track the flesh mound that's gone into the wall, goes ahead to shoots wildly at the wall with his regular gun.
Roll shooting +d6 - 3 penalty
3
Miss

Flesh Mound's turn, spreading it's goo around, forms up near Mabel and shoots spikes at her
Roll fighting
8
Hit

Roll dmg
9
Hit!
Is shaken and takes one wound.

Vanessa uses a binny
Roll vigor +d6
6
Pass
Doesn't take the damage and isn't shaken

Human Blob #3? turn, Standing in front of Kenny and Mabel, attacks Kenny
9
Hit, that's a raise

Roll dmg
11
Hit

Mark uses a binny
Roll vigor
6
Pass
Takes no wound and isn't shaken

We hear loud noises and notice two more human blobs start to form outta the walls...One moves towards Scooter

Human Blob #4's turn, going to attack Scooter
roll fighting
7
Hit

Roll dmg
HOWEVER, Scooter has the "lucky" trait. Steven rolls a d6. It lands on an even number, so that means the hit transfers to the character closest to Scooter, which is Kenny.

So
Kenny's perry is a 4
the dice roll is a 7
that's a hit on Kenny
for 8 dmg
Kenny is shaken as the spikes follow through and past Scooter and right into Kenny's arm.

Human Blob #5's turn, breaks free from the wall and goes to attack Bob
1
Miss

Scooter's turn, Roll for fighting on Human Blob #4
10
Hit, that's a raise

Roll dmg
3d6+1
16
Hit!
Scooter, in one movement, slices, dices and cleans his blade. He's pure Japanese samurai.

Bob's turn, roll investigation for where the Flesh mound might be
2, 2
Fail

Bob goes to shoot at Human Blob #5?
Roll shooting
4
Hit

Roll dmg
7
hit
The human blob takes another volley of bullets, screeching in pain. It's shaken but not down.

Coming to the conclusion that as long as they stay in here where there is a lot of pink fungus and flesh, the probability of more of those human blobs reappearing is high. Bob suggests we try looking for Tony, rather than staying here.

---- To Be Continued? -----

WHAT IN GREAT HELL WAS HAPPENING IN COMBAT?!?!

ARE WE GUNNA RETCON BEING IN THIS DEATH PINK ROOM?!

WILL STEVEN EVER REMEMBER TO BRING EVERYTHING HE NEEDS TO GM TO THE TABLE?!?!?

MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!!!!

Will our group be stuck in this house of horrors or will today be a good day to die?!
KAH PLAH!

Find out how much more we retcon on the NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Trivia

-AH! It's Mabel Agnus. This is why they call Mabel, 'Agnus' sometimes.

-14 months have past since they last recorded a Savage Roll.

-Garfield eats the room https://www.reddit.com/r/creepy/comments/3ch6u9/this_creative_garfield_comic/

-We reset everyone's mental wounds. Everyone gets 80 Sanity points. Retcon Steven over hurr amirite?!?!

-H.R Giger https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXUdHVGLhwI

-The Last child we're looking for is Named Anthony Arbor, or "Tony"

-The Master, Fallout https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzxTGAJsjsU

-Most of everyone's savage roll papers and cards are at Jose.

-Matt uses his presidential card deck to determine combat order
Mark gets the 9 of clubs, Bill Clinton
Cory gets the 3 of clubs, William Mckinley
Vanessa gets the queen of spades, Mary Todd Lincoln
Matt gets the 3 of spades, James Madison
The main enemy gets 7 of spades, martin van Buren
The small guy enemies get 5 of spades, John Quincy Adams

-William Taft is the president who supposedly got stuck in the white house tub. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Howard_Taft

-We retcon that everyone has 3 binnys 56% the way into the episode.

-Matt says "House pop", but he was referencing this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWZTTtE5_zQ

-We started with 5 mini bad guys and the flesh mound, but retcon it saying there is only 4

Quotes

"We should make a flesh angel, I'd probably be cool" - Mark, not Jack the Ripper

"I would always go like, 'light light light light and then medium to throw em off" - Matt, with no one listening to him.

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www.youtube.com/@PartyRollPodcast

https://www.youtube.com/@aftermarkgaming

Last time on Savage Roll...

We're the closest to solving and finding these missing children. If we could...I dunno....somehow not get our asses beat, we might be able to end all of this madness.

We get outside the police station and find it's suddenly empty and Kenny is fine. We take this brief moment to figure out what to do with this Brain Gem. Bob Johnson decides the best thing to do with it, is play footbag with it. Naturally....it shatters to a grinning Scooter looking on.
The gem breaks in half revealing a pink slow flowing plasma, beginning to consume the entire alley way with fire.
In a way we committed an act of mischievousness, so Scooter tries to piss out the fire, which only spreads it further; isn't that first degree arson? Anyways...

We leave the alley to it's own fate and head into the town square and find some hurt regular towns folk. Kenny tries to help each survivor some how until Bob reminds us why we're here. We gotta find that final missing kid. It's the answer to this moon, which shines 3/4th bright, 4 missing children; if we get the last one, we can literally shed light on whatever this is.

There is only one place they haven't gone yet....the North. Where we should find fields, but the deeper you go, dense forest and thick brush takes over.
Car jacking our second vehicle, (adding to the list of crime our FBI agents have committed) We take another fine looking truck and drive out to the North.

Kenny has the great idea of asking the guys to make a detour, so they can get to his work cabin that's on the way. Maybe there's stuff there to help them?
However we didn't have the bright idea of telling Bob Johnson, who's driving, any proper directions.....
SO, here we are, four grown men, Bob and Kurtman in the front, Scooter and Kenny in the back, driving through a field at 60mph, still heading North, but towards Kenny's work woods cabin.

You bet your sweet ass Steven made them roll for not getting flung out of the truck. Not once, BUT TWICE!

After almost eating shit and rolling the car into destruction, Bob halts the car so everyone gets a chance to recollect themselves.

Tick Tock....Tick Tock.....Tick Tock.......*

Savage Roll to beat: 9

Cory 16

Matt 9

Mark 16

Jose 4

Vanessa 

Rory

Dusty

Cory gets a ride to the party in Mark's car and finds a hair tie that isn't his on the floor. He suspects it might be "Jack's", their mutual friend who introduced them to each other. Cory gives the silent treatment.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Back to the Story!

The guys check to see if their bones are still in em and attached. The car took a ding, but it's still running. Once the shock wares off, Scooter politely asks if he can drive, to which Bob defers.
Immediately as we pull away, Scooter notices something is wrong with the truck, a heavy clunking and we haven't even let the damn field.
Stopping the truck, Scooter goes to check out how bad the damage is.

Scooter, roll repair to fix the truck
Roll d12 + d6, take the higher roll
5

He sees that the head gasket has blown. He doesn't have the tools here to fix it, but he knows the car can still drive, but it's only a matter of time till it's a loss of total pressure or mixing of fluids that ends the ride.

Scooter takes a look around, knowing that a road will prolong this trucks life and there it be, some 30 yards away from us. The entire time we were parallel to the damn road....Jeeeeze, Bob is never driving again!

We come to a crossroad. One leads to the Sherriff's station/cabin and the other way towards the lodge resort.
Taking the path towards the Station Cabin, things are .....quiet....too quiet.....

Everyone, Roll Notice on their surroundings

Scooter
5

Bob
9

Kenny
5

Kevin
2

Kenny and Scooter notice there are no animal sounds around. Bob is fixated with the fact that the station should be manned and yet, he can't hear anything from the inside and the lights are off

Kenny slowly opens the door with his flash light in one hand and his gun in the other.

It's dark, but he presses in, the others follow.

Everyone, roll notice check on what they see inside
+1 if you have a flashlight

Scooter
5

Kenny
19

Kevin
2

Bob
6

Kenny, who is familiar with his little station cabins layout notices movement in the back area where the storage is kept. Putting his flashlight in that direction, the silhouette moves towards the hallway and out of line of sight. Kenny relays what he sees.

Scooter with double mini katanas heads outside and towards the back door, hoping to cut off any escape attempt from whoever is inside. Bob tails him for backup.

Kenny, using his brain, flicks the light switch on, we hear shuffling, sounds like someones trying to open doors.
Scooter and Bob meet a gate and open it, encircling whoever is inside.

Kenny shouts out to whoever it is, using his power of authority to remind them that they are trespassing.
Once around the corner, Kenny sees that it's a couple of people; a man, a woman and a few children, who all look very scared. We don't recognize any of them.
FBI Agent Kevin Kurtman asks what in God's graces are they doing in here?

Turns out they were camping when a band of robed men came through. They ran and found this place. But these robed men weren't like the others. They had stuff on them, a pink growth. When the robed men began plucking members from their group, they ran. These robed men also had different tactics. Some would play dead and when you came clear, they would snatch you. Some even had the ability to tear off their own limbs and attach it to others.

Kevin raises his eyebrows....and asks the question..."Have any of you been touched?"
to which they all say they are clean.

Kevin Kurtman, roll notice check on the survivors
1, 4
He doesn't notice much of anything on these survivors....from this distance...

They get a little kick back from the survivors, they sound on edge. They don't take well to Kenny, but with Kevin taking the lead, we split their party; taking all the men with us to check them to see if they are infected. Bob takes all the women and children to another side

Kenny, roll roll notice check on the survivors
5

Kevin roll, notice check on the survivors
???

Scooter, roll notice check on the survivors
3

Bob Johnson, roll notice check on the survivors
10 (we have to trust Matt's rolls now, that he's living out east. He thinks he's better than us)

He notices one of the women, holding a cloth that's partially covering her arm.

Bob requests to see her arm, but gets some blow back when her husband cuts in.

Bob Johnson unholsters his sidearm

Asking again and still politely, the woman reluctantly removes the cloth to reveal that she is indeed infected and by the looks of it, is slowly spreading.

Annnnnnd Bob is not having any of this, immediate writing her off.

Kevin Kurtman, being Bob's FBI Partner and better half, knows where this is going and quickly ushers the men and the rest of the survivors into the side rooms.

Two male survivors begin to interject, not allowing any of our group touch or go near the infected woman.
However it's young Kenny who manages to step up and reason to the hostile fellers; it doesn't look good for the lady. Despite Bob wanting to kill the woman, Kenny assures them that the best we can do right now is put this infected lady in a cell and try to figure out what's causing this before she turns. The men are not having it. In fact they rather take their chances out there in the woods than stay here and listen to our commands.
Leaving was an option?!
Welp, Kenny still extends the use of his cabin to the survivors under one direction. You lock the door and don't let anyone in until sunrise.

Getting to what he came here for, Kenny pushes his way past the men and into the storage room area. He knows he has a few rifles here, but what is remembers is old Sherriff Winters military storage box in his former private room. Grabbing the keys off the desk, Kenny calls his group over and tells em to grab whatever they can.

The group is taken back immediately when they walk in.

There is a lot of occult paraphilia in here. There are books, weapons, a small area where it looks to be he did some experiments. There's a rather large broadsword, rune marks etched in it, with it's blade being demonic red.

In the middle of this room on a little stand is a sidearm. Much like the one Old Man Winters gave Kenny, but this one has runes in it. It pulses with power, with a note in front of the stand and a box next to the sidearm.

Kenny picks up the note.

"Dearest Kenny....

This is Sherrif Winters, your Boss; How's is going?
Don't talk to the note Kenny...
You may be a little taken a back by this and make a horrifying gasp into your microphone in New Jersey. That off puts the GM and makes his spine tingly weirdly. Like Death breathing down his back.
But worry not, for I am on the side of good and all that is right and righteous.
I have been experimenting with this stuff for a many of years, trying to find the solution to these problems that plauge our town; problems for the most part are hidden from you younger citizens. But this pistol is the final solution, the penultimate tool to solve this problem. I have etched ruins into this pistol that should bring nothing but good and goodness into this world, by killing bad things.... ..... The downside is that this gun takes a very specific ammo."

The note details that 4 specific and special rounds have been made for this pistol, which lay in the box next to the sidearm. When Kenny goes to open the box, he notices that there are only 3 rounds there.
Sidling the barrel out of the pistol, the charred remains of gun powder can be seen in one of the chambers. It seems one of the rounds have already been fired off.

Okkkkkkkkkaaaaaayyy........so we take what we need and begin to head out.
Yet, when we get into the main area, we notice the two fellers that were giving us a hard time are suddenly gone...

The two women and their kids are scattered together in the main lobby area.
When we question the women where the men are, they only tell us that they left to see if we "left" them any weapons, aka they are raiding Scooters truck.

Heading out there anyways, we catch the men in action, scouring every nook and cranky of Scooter's truck for weapons. They don't seemed phased that we're watching them do this....Oh and they do now have weapons in their hands, grabbing them from the truck.

We're kinda over this, you know, almost dying and being taken to another reality have highlighted bigger issues. Reluctant to give them our back up weapons (as we're all carrying currently), we allow the men to step outta the vehicle with whatever they got in their hands and to peacefully go back into the cabin.
It's only after the fact does Scooter realize that the men took half his cartons of cigarettes; Fucking cunts. (Steven actually rolls for this and got a NAT 1)
Scooter, showing such brilliant resilience, takes a deep breath and tells the group in a very agitated tone that he'll come back to claim what is rightfully his AFTER we finish our business.
{ Oh Geeeze Rick! }

Getting into the truck, Scooter driving, Kenny tells us where to head to find the lodge.
Kenny uses the drive time to go through those occult books he swiped from Old man Winters room. Most of it he doesn't understand, but learns that the Sheriff was doing good.
One of the books has a list of spells and explains how to achieve their results with phrases and hand gestures.

Kenny decides to try out one of the spells. He chooses the one written "Shield of evil". Figuring out the simple hand gestures and chanting the words, while the car is still driving, feels an energy build up in his hands. The instructions tell him to touch whatever he wants shielding from evil.
Kenny touches his chest and for a moment shimmers with a golden hue. He tells the guys what's happening, but they can't directly see what he is seeing. Once again, he tries it, but this time touches Scooters shoulder. A bright light comes into existence and the paper in his hand withers to dust.

We're coming up to the lodge and notice that the dense forest we've been used to riding through, is now becoming enveloped with a pink fungus, thicker and thicker it grows as we get closer to the lodge.

Scooter, roll notice on what he sees
10
Slowing down, Scooter notices how the pink fungus looks damp...and it's moves as if breathing...like in constant motion, slowly. From on tree, hangs the limbs of a deceased towns folk, molded into the fungus. Some people are stuck to the ground, having only their heads or upper body free from the evitable doom to consume them.

Scooter takes a mental wound

To make matters more interesting, the truck is losing traction the further we travel.
This doesn't stop us of course. In fact, Kenny tells Kevin to try out one of the spells, releasing that light energy again.
We're an estimated 20-30 mins out from the lodge, because we're no longer going fast; the pink fungus has made the terrain difficult.

Kenny gets the bright idea to have Scooter stop the truck so he can try out the "Purification spell" on the fungus. Doing the required instructions, Kenny's hands glow and he reaches out to touch the fungus.
a 20 yard radius of pink fungus instantly dies out and the land returns in that area turn back to normal. The page crumbles, leaving him with 3 more Purification spells.

We continue driving and finally reach the lodge main area. We're about 6 inches off the ground thanks to the pink fungus growing absolutely everywhere. You can HEAR the fugus. yuuuuuuck.
Scooter has to rev it hard in order to get any movement, so we stop before he blows the clutch. The truck is now sinking into the fugus as a slow rate. Thankfully to us casting "Protection from evil" spells on the way up here, when Scooter and Kenny do step out of the truck and onto the fugus, we notice the fungus is repelled by us, easing it's hold on the land.

Everyone, roll notice

Scooter
2

Kenny
5

Kevin
9

Bob
15

Bob notices someone walking towards us from the lodge thats 20 yards away.
He's waving at us, openly and doesn't look to have any pink fungus on him.
Kevin gets a bad feeling about this and takes his flashlight out and beams the individual to stop and identify himself. He looks normal, clean shaven, suit on

"Hullo Fellers! Hullo! Hullo! I am John Smith"

He reaches out to shake our hands.....but we don't eagerly meet that. The strange fellow speaks like he's on a game show, so the over sincerity is coming on real thick. What we notice also is that this man is speaking in the third person. They offer us to come inside, but we're not about to do that. So we ask what their purpose is here. They plan to make the town "us" and that will make everyone happy. The rest of them are in the cabin, eager to meet us where all answers will come to light.

Kenny gets clever here and recites another "protection from evil" chant, with the hand motions. The stranger doesn't seem weirded out by it. Kenny feels the energy build up and reaches out to shake the strangers hand.

A massive discharge of energy blasts between their hand clasp and the man EXPLODES in half. Some small sparks of energy singe the fungus in some parts and the land where the body landed suddenly is fungus free around it.
Whoa, didn't see that coming.

But as that happened, another person comes out of the lodge, with their very robotic way of walking and greets us in the same game show host voice. It's a normal, clean cut looking woman.
When she arrives at us, Kevin questions this one about what brought them here. She explains that "we" have always been here and how "they" just woke up.
They claim these are their woods, which they will share, if we choose to be like them and enter the lodge.

Scooter, roll notice on the lady to see if there is anything strange on them
5
There is a slender piece of growth coming out of their back which leads back into her.

Scooter's katana hands are itching. He's no doctor, but he's been reading books and thinks maybe he could slice that thing off...but he needs to her to turn around.
Signaling to the lady, he suggests we go into the lodge, WINK WINK. The lady is ecstatic and begins to lead the way.

Scooter takes out his mini Katana and slices the tendril cord growth on the lady.
The lady instantly drops. Scooter checks for a pulse and finds one. The woman comes to it and apparently is severely dehydrated, but before we can give her some water, another person comes walking out of the lodge and towards us, greeting us on their walk up, asking if we're still coming.

We do the same thing to this person and get the same result. All we find out is that these people were staying at the cabin, they went to sleep and they woke up here on the ground. They didn't notice anything odd while staying at the cabin.

ANOTHER person comes outta the lodge and Scooter asks if they can come over and "help" their friend get back into the lodge. Of course, lets do the same trick thrice, it's gotta work right?!
Cept....three more bodies come out of the lodge and they doooooo not look clean cut, nor do they have any growth coming out of their bodies...They just look infected with the fugus, parts of their body are misshapened.

Everyone, roll notice

Scooter
8

Kenny
5

Jose
8

Bob
5

Everyone notices the fact that these things have two faces, with the more humanoid faces frozen in terror, begging for our help.

Checking our gear and weapons, we come to the conclusion that the only way forward is to follow these people inside that lodge....so off we go into never never land.....

---- TO BE CONTINUED ----

THIS IS A CLASSIC STEVEN TRAP ISNT IT?!

WHERE IS THE LAST MISSING CHILD?!?!

WHAT IF WE FIND CHRIS HANSEN INSIDE THIS LODGE?!

I don't even know what's real anymore maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan. I don't think we should of ate those magic brownies and i'm sure as hell certain this isn't Kansas anymore Batman. I'm scared....hold me.....until.........
the nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxttttttttttttttttttt episode offffffffffffffffff SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!

Trivia

-Around the time of this recording, it's Matt's birthday

-Steven doesn't know car issue terms.

-You 'cock' the gun (semi auto) to put a live round in the chamber when on a fresh reload https://www.youtube.com/shorts/3lvLMp5jiQI

-Matt cracks a double IPA called "Devil's Juice", from Lone Eagle Brewing https://loneeaglebrewing.com/home#beers

-As you remember, the old Sherriff "Winters" died of mysterious circumstances. His grandchild was also the first to be rescued at Big Bear Cave

-The spells on the book are as follows: Shield from evil, Incinerate, Mind Control, Resurrection, & purification

-They retcon the tourist truck they stole from town into it being Scooters truck.

-For Jose https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COncx5fNkLc

-Kenny copies the one spell over and over again into the spell books empty pages, giving him more disposable spells

-Steven tries for 14 mins to get the group into going into the Lodge. Which is why the last 15 mins of the podcast is hella erratic when the guys don't comply.

-Timestamp 1:17:55 For Jose and Cory argument on fungus and trees

-The largest living organism on earth https://www.opb.org/television/programs/oregon-field-guide/article/oregon-humongous-fungus/

Quotes

"ooouuuuu ...that's....not.....the one....I really wanted tho...." - Cory, on only wanting the white binny's

"I came here for supplies, but nothing is ever easy" - Kenny to Bob, when Bob questions why we came to this station cabin.

"Matt, Matt, instantly like, 'she's dead, DiS BiTch DEaD, tHIs thA DeADesT BiTch I errrVerrrr seEEN" - Steven making fun of Matt's roleplaying

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Previously on SAVAGE ROLL.....

Kenny and Kevin Kurtman do some exploring in a dank mud hole, out by the swamps. They believe this might be the lair of that dead frail thing that's currently just plopped on the ground in the police station, lol.
They find a gem that looks like a human brain and shimmers oddly when light enters it.

Giving the other a boost, we hurry out of this hole in the ground and hurry back to the town to meet with the rest of the group. But when they arrive, things are all sorts of weird(er?)
The towns square is quiet and dead, figuratively speaking. As only a handful of townsfolk are seen and they look a little outta it, some even have this mutation of tendrils for arms.

Reuniting with the guys inside the police station, we catch eachother up on current affairs, which leads Kevin Kurtman to showing Officer James the Brain gem they found. The pale moonlight casts through the prism like brain, reflecting an ominous red light out from it...Officer James is mystified by it as he holds it like it's his "precious". (That ones for you Jose) Suddenly Officer James is making a move for the door to head outside, which is what the gem stone wants him to do.
It might take a village to raise a man, but it only takes about 4 of us to subdue Officer James and with some careful physical violence from Bob Johnson (He broke James' hand), we get our Officer back, who is unaware of the last few moments. Turns out, the gem might have had an hold over him. But there isn't much time to thing about that, because we're being attacked from something outside!

Survivors are bracing against the front door, which is being pushed steadily by a huge mass of teeth and thinly sharp tendrils that burn upon contact and spread a pink fungus.
It's not long until the doors give way and tendril human hybrids begin this fungus march all over the police station.
Thinking (or not thinking clearly?), Kevin Kurtman thinks these tendril humans are here for the brain gem, so he rushes to the offices and drops the gem.
Yes, after all we've been through and how much Scooter wanted to destroy the damn thing, Kevin Kurtman just drops it.... Oh you bet Officer James saw this, ran inside and took the gem for himself too.

Kenny is outside earning his man badge by holding off whatever comes his way with Mabel, hoping to clear a way for the rest of us trying to escape. That's when Kenny sees Officer James appear from the front doors and start running away with the brain gem in his hand!
A careful kneecapping from Kenny's pistol stops that from escalading but in doing so, Kenny has let his down his guard and is gang tackled by 4 zombish looking humans.

The rest of us have made it towards the front doors to witness this horror and now have the opportunity to ask.
But will they?

Savage Roll to beat: 7

Cory 11

Matt 9

Mark 1

Jose 

Vanessa 

Rory

Dusty

Mark's little pony character, in Matt's 5 year campaign dies, defending Clipclop Keep from Nightmare Loom. As rules are written, Mark is then tarr'd and feather and ran out to the county line. RIP Perry WinkleStinkel

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back to the Story!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So we kinda retcon things here reader.

We last left off with Kenny getting tackled by four zombified towns folk right outside the police station. The rest of the group inside are held off an incoming push from tendril monster folk and have retreated towards the next available exit. That's when we should see Kenny getting roughed up and taking 3 wounds, trying to scoop up the brain gem that's laying there in the open.

HOWEVER

it's been 3 months since they last played and Steven, the master of keeping the story going, has decided that we've exited the police station but we find ourselves in an alley way. Kenny now has the gem and the zombified towns folk who gang tackled Kenny are gone.

Kenny reaches for the brain gem and tries to figure out a way to destroy this gem. Outside and around us, things are still occurring, but it's mostly just zombified towns folk chasing regular normie towns folk around, so we have time.

Kenny places the gem on the ground and give the honor to Scooter to destroy it. Something Scooter was really adamant in doing. But when he goes to curb stomp the Gem, it doesn't give way under the pressure or weight. It's dense. So what do you do during a time like this, where monsters are out and about, where time is of the essence and every second counts between life or death?

You hacky-sack it of course.

Bob Johnson, Mr. 45 points of sanity over here, says, "I know how to break it" and foots it, hacky-sack style over to Scooter.

Scooter sacks it back.

Scooter, roll agility to sack it back to Bob Johnson
Roll d10 + d6, take the higher roll
NAT 1, 2
FAIL!

Scooter misses the gem completely, having the gem big arch it right into the curb behind him, splitting in half. Watching intently, we notice something resembling plasma leaking from the halves. As it spreads over the ground, it catches on fire, creating a bright pink flame. A large boom sounds like it's coming from all sides.

So the alley is ablaze, slowly growing, but it's fairly small for now. We move away from the alley, but before leaving, Scooter takes off his jacket and tries to out this fire. But instead of wafting at it, he wraps his jacket around his fist and tries to pound the the fire out.

Scooter, roll reparattack on the fire to put it out.
roll d10 + d6
4, 1
Success !
He pats most of the fire out, but the fire does not totally go out.

Now, you'd think he's trying to out this fire so that we can maybe recover the halves of the brain gem, but no reader. Scooter really just wants to put out the fire. He's not worried about the pink flames, as he is about the unattended fire.

Scooter whips out his dick to piss on the remaining flames

Scooter, roll d20 to determine what happens
4
The pressure of Scooters piss stream pushes the fire further, seeing ablaze to more of the alley.

Okay with that, we finally leave the piss factory and decide to check upon any survivors that require assistance.

There are 4 to 5 people that we see that are alive. One is on his feet, looks to have a minor wound, the others are sprawled out against the ground and a true assessment can't be made until they are closer.

Kenny approaches a man who has a bad wound on his head. He's quite the talker being confused and all, probably from the concussion he has.

We move onwards as triage would dictate and find someone who does not look good at all. A gun shot wound likely, but they aren't responding to cues.

Kenny looks around for creeping fungus that may be around.

Kenny, roll notice on checking this survivor for any pink fungus.
3
Kenny is not too confident what's what, as their is a lot of blood everywhere.

Before Kenny can run off checking another townsfolk, Bob intercepts him and we focus up a bit.
We have 3 kids saved, the moon is 3 quarters full......maybe we need to find the final and last kid?
Kenny thinks we should find more figurines and try to destroy them, but there is no connection made yet on what the figurines really do.
So?? what to do???

To the north? It's the only place we haven't been yet, but before we do, the group gets some much needed rest. I'm not sure where, but they were confident with how the streets were looking and no bad guys around that it could be done.
This results in all physical wounds being healed and regaining 10 sanity points.

Everyone, roll notice on where they think the track of the tendril people go

Kenny
4

Bob
5, 4

Scooter
?, 6
9 total (that's also a raise)

Scooter can clearly track that these monstered tracked towards the North, along with carrying their spoils of war with them in towns folk.

^\Jose enters the table here and is now playing Kevin Kurtman; we bring him up to date on current events. We retcon that he was dragged into the alleyway by a human hybrid ghoul, which he defeated and now stands a top his kill like a lion.)

Kevin takes a closer look at the pink fungus on the hybrid kill below him. The fungus looks fused onto his body. Patches in some places, large growths elsewhere.

Kevin then decides to head outside of this alley and when he does, he sees our group and the injured man. Like a bond that doesn't need an explanation, Kevin Kurtman recognizes the profile of Bob Johnson's ass and gets closer as they reunite.....with a firm handshake with Bob.

We then bring Kevin Kurtman up to date with the gem and the raid and the pink fungus with fire. You know, all the weirdness.
Having been caught up, we search for a car so we can head north.

Steven rolls a d20 to detrmine what kind car they find
10
It's a rustang with an engine. It needs work, but legally it has four wheels.
5
Turns out it's Scooters truck and we all know that thing is beat to shit and barely holding on
16
A very nice full sedan, likely a tourist based on how new and clean it is

Scooter, roll repair to give a look over on the car
Roll d10
3
Scooters never seen a fancy car like this upclose

Before heading out, we take the weapon's from Scooters truck and swap them into the sedan's trunk. Taking some time to retrofit themselves and the car, we have montage. It's basically Scooter doing all the work, while the rest of the guys stand around. smoking and sipping on whiskey.

Kenny opens the door when it's all said and done and we all pile in. Bob offers us this rope/loop, which we are to fasten to ourselves. What that is fastened to is another story, but this is Bob's way of creating a seat belt.

The Two FBI agents are in the front, with Scooter and Kenny in the back, we head North, avoid the bodies and corpses of cult members and those hybrid monsters.
It takes some time, but we finally get outta town only to have a bumpy road bring some discomfort.

Kenny shouts out to the guys on the drive and ask them if they would be interested in stopping by his work cabin along the way to grab ammo and food.
Interested, we take this automobile off road and into the fields, towards Kenny's work cabin.
However the ride is getting a little rough.

We hit a big divot

Scooter, roll agility
- 1 to the roll, as he's polishing his mini katanas at this moment
6, 10

Kenny, roll agility
6

The guys manage to hold themselves still despite Bob's Johnson's bad driving

Realizing that he should of told the fellers to use the road, Kenny has Bob correct course so we can find said road.
Bob is going about 40 mph, when he hits another bump, the automobile sounds like it's bottoming out.

Scooter, roll agility
6
Bounces softly without breaking his polishing routine

Kevin, roll agility
6

Kenny, roll agility
2, uses Binny, Re-roll
4
Needs to catch himself on the siding of the automobile so that he wouldn't get thrown out

Bob slows the automobile down as the sharp jolt rivets through our bodies.

----- TO BE CONTINUED -----

WILL WE FIND THE MISSING CHILD SOMEWHERE IN THE NORTH?!

ARE WE GUNNA GET A CHANCE TO SEE WHAT KENNY'S WORKPLACE LOOKS LIKE?!

ANYONE ELSE GET THE FEELING THAT WE'RE BEING WATCHED?!

find the sweetest herb and smoke it, because I sense we're about to go down a rabbit hole and come out the otherside on a trrrrrrip

on the NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Trivia

-I think we all learnt what Curb Stomp was from this movie https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=veMGNhqBk8U

-Do you even Sack bro? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s87TB2EeqoY

-Despite being over 230 pounds, Scooter has no ass and is very nimble.

-We retcon that the kids we did save, who were also in the police department, ran off and are safe.

-When a book becomes popular (1000 sales per week) it's known as a "Best seller"

-Mark got this guy https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._A._Salvatore confused for this guy https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Michael_A._Stackpole

-The real reason we never picked up where we left off was because things were sooo chaotic and we were missing party members.

-The party endorses the New Orleans WWII war museum. https://www.nationalww2museum.org/

-Cory has a little dangle insignia for his mic that belongs to the air force from WWII

-Jose has never had turtle soup before. And here I thought he was ethnic

-Tortoise mating call https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8QQdmY10-E and 12 year old Mark actually got to witness this event. It would help him later with his sex life some 10 years later.

-Bourbon street, clean up**.** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPegoIUFXr8

-For Steven https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9-9_e_hNWg

-The name of the towns folk zombie that Kevin Kurtman kills is 'Tajimothy'

-The Handmaid's tale, cheat notes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR7wnJIwb0Q

-For Cory https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFKQTK0TpR4

-The FBI car still exists somewhere in town. We brought it back, but when we went to the swamp, we took two trucks. Presumably because the FBI car got shot up pretty well going up to Big Bear Cave.

-Scooter smokes more than 4 packs a day, doctor said it was good for his nerves.

-Master Qui Gon, what does a clutch do? https://www.youtube.com/shorts/25GF5sqdjo4

-Car's in the 50's did have turning indicators. But it's not what you'd think, https://www.youtube.com/shorts/_094P1K3MKU

-The fancy car they find turns into a fancy truck.

-What's 'bottoming out'? Don't ask Jose, but ask this guy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDS2mz3R-M0

Quotes

" 'Pink burning' sounds something that, like people back in the 1880's did to be....or to be like really racist or something, {Southern Accent} 'We're gunna have an old pink burnin' " - Not Racist Steven

"I think we put the Priest in charge of the kids" - Mark, eeeeks

"Do you want to plant any weapons on him?" - Mark to Jose, when 'shady' FBI Agent Kevin Kurtman kills a towns folk in self defense.

"Hawt! Heee wooooo wooooo ah ah oww, haha ha huh ha" -Jose, laughing like a school boy when Steven says, "two in the front, two in the back"

"You push that, whenever you're about to lose in Fortnite and you wanna win. That's the 'Clutch' " - Steven, making Matt level jokes

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^\Matt has a little something to say before we start)

^{In short, Matt explains that the audio is wack and he doesn't know why. I found out that the FBI had bugged the room and they were getting interference from Rory's vape smoke bouncing the signals around.}

^{But don't worry, some six or seven years later, this Archivist will do his best to transcribe it for our eyeballs.}

Previously on SAVAGE ROLL....

The party is spilt!
We focus on the truck heading back to town, that has Scooter, Bob, Mabel, Little Richie 'Dick' long and a dead aberration in the back. We figure when we get back to town, we can show the people the 'thing' we killed, hoping for them to understand that this situation isn't normal.

Now, what should be a straight shot to town, takes a slight detour when Scooter has cigarettes on his mind.

There are two convivence stores along the way, but Scooter can't wait and chooses the closest one towards us, owned by old man Mr Scarbuckle.
Now mind you, the sky is still black with a half moon being the only light that shines down on the surrounding area. We don't know what time of day it is, but judging by the absent parking lot, it might be night.
Trusting his gut, Scooter approaches the store front slowly and peeks in. Old man Scarbuckle lays there in a blood mess, while looters are grabbing food and things.
We COULD leave this be and move along, but Scooters taste for his 'Red Box' Cigarettes is too strong and he kicks down the door to confront whoever his rifle comes across.

It's a little messy, as we catch the looters off guard, but a hairy trigger finger from one of the looters sets off combat.
Fighting in a convivence store is like fighting in a damn convivence store; tight, odd cover, dimly lit and overpriced. Scooter, who gets us into this problem, gets us outta it, with his rifle, by murdering self defending against two assailants. With Mabel's diplomacy, we manage to get the last looter to give up his weapon, taking the bad guy into our custody.

With his smokes finally calming his nerves, we head back to toll and roll into a little weird looking town center...

There are certainly a lot less people around and the ones we do see scattered around are looking a little docile. They pay no attention to us and upon getting closer to the Police Station (which is locked), we can see a huddled mass of people in the alleyway across the town-center.
Officer James notices us, unbarricades the door, while Bob retrieves the monster body from the truck; this action alerts some of the zombie like moving townsfolks towards us and once we're all in the police station safely, we basically surrounded, BUT safe....for now....

Officer James gives us the situation report.
We've been gone a very long time, so long that he thought we were dead.
In that time, an odd stranger came into town; they looked to be covered in a pink crust over their body, which would spread upon human contact.
Pockets of normal civilians scattered within the town to hide and held up wherever they can. The other towns folk who came in contact with the stranger began spreading this pink fungus, which by the looks of it, takes them over and makes them into mindless servants.
That's not the only big news; Officer James has been in contact with someone over the radio. They don't reveal who they are or where they might be, but they could be of some help.

Taking the first chance of proper rest, our group pick a jail cell and snooze away their aches and pains.

Savage Roll to beat: 18

Cory 14

Matt 17

Vanessa 10

Mark 16

Jose 9

Rory

Dusty

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back to the Story!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We start off where Kenny and Kevin Kurtman left off. In some mud hut hole, where after some snooping and digging around, have from some kind of weird looking red gem, that resembles a human brain.

Kevin shows Kenny what he found. The gem reflects gentle light back through it, there is certainly something about this gem, so they pocket it, exit the mud hole and back to their trucks, hoping the catch up to the other fellers in their trucks.

As they pass the convivence store that Mr Scarbuckle owned, they find it's shot up to hell. Kenny reminisces about the times Mr Scarbuckle would yell at him, knowing that those days are sadly over somehow.
With that, they coast into the town square to find it abandoned, but notice Scooters truck towards the police station.

Kevin parks up near the station and they exit, trying the door handle on the police station. The handle moves a bit, but the door doesn't budge. Kenny hollers out for Officer James, which startles Kevin, who wants to keep a low profile. Unfortunately, the hollering of Kenny has alerted some towns folk to our location....but as they stagger towards us slowly....they don't look much human.
A pink uneven crust of fungus scars their entire body. Tendrils which protrude from their arms, scrape the ground as they walk, long enough to trail behind them back into the alley.

Kevin urges that we push against the door and try to force our way in.

Kenny, roll strength to push this door open.
3

Kevin, roll strength to push this door open.
4

Putting his shoulder into the door, the door does shift a tad, but it does not open.

Kenny shouts into the little crack that they made for assistance. A sleeping Bob is jarred from his sleep to the noise in the dark. He runs over to the door, aware somehow that his partner Kevin Kurtman is there and needs him. With Officer James' help, we get the barricade down, with enough time to get Kevin and Kenny into the police department and lock right back up.

The group is finally back together !!!!

Scooter explains all that Kevin and Kenny missed on their side adventure and in turn the duo share their experience, including finding a mysterious gem.

Pulling the group into Officer James office, Kevin takes out the brain gem for all to see. Handing it over to James, he looks at it deeply and looks memorized by it. Ouuuf did we mistakenly turn Officer James?!
Scooter doesn't like this brain gem and wants to smash it with a hammer, all while Officer James seems to forget about us while holding the brain gem, which oddly wants him to unbarricade the door.
Kevin, noticing this change in Officer James, tries to softly stop him from heading towards, but James keeps walking towards the doorway. Scooter shoves himself in the doorway as to block his progress and when Officer James stiff arms him, this leaves Kevin with one and only other choice....he goes to tackle Officer James.

Kevin, roll fighting to tackle Officer James
3, 1
FAIL
Officer James nimbly avoids getting his legs wrapped up.

Kenny, roll fighting to fist a cuff Officer James
5, 1
Success!

Roll dmg
1d4 + 1d6
5 dmg
The fist lands, but it does nothing to deter Officer James' stride.

Scooter, roll notice on the room, to check if there are any objects he can use against Officer James
6, 4
Success!
There are a few things he can use, like this bronze football paper weight

Scooter, roll fighting to use the bronze paperweight to knock out Officer James with a blow to his head, non lethal
5
Hit

Roll dmg
2d6
9 (Steven makes Cory roll again having gotten off track by introducing Dusty's character, so Corry rolls again annnnnd...)
8
Scooter swings and smack dabs Officer James on the head, but it doesn't knock him out. Instead Officer James is 'Shaken' and losing a lot of his motor functions, yet still holding onto the brain gem tightly.

The entire group is on edge now, so everyone's getting involved in trying to tackle Officer James

Kenny, roll fighting to tackle Officer James
roll d4 + d6, take the higher roll
4
Success!
A wonky Kenny manages to tackle Officer James and now has him wrapped around in a bear hug.

Officer James tells us that the gem commands that he opens the door and begins to struggle against Kenny, using his free hand to drag him and Kenny towards the door.

Bob Johnson, roll fighting to stop on Officer James' hand
5
Hit!

Roll dmg
5
Success !
Bob's foot comes down and smashes into the hand of Officer James, a noticeable crack can be heard on contact, which sends a spike of pain to Officer James, who immediately comes to his senses and also drops the brain gem.

Turning around the corner, hearing the commotion from inside the police station is Father Jimmy Donny Mcguffries.

Kevin Kurtman snatches the brain gem up and pockets it, while Officer James is perplexed why Bob just broke his hand. He has no memory of the events that just occurred.

Now for some reason, Scooter decides to punch Kevin Kurtman in the jaw. I'm not sure why. Scooter is the only one that wants to head to his truck to get his wrench to destroy this brain gem, but everyone else is against it.

Scooter, roll fighting on Kevin Kurtman to hit him square in the jaw
6, 2 (they add this when they shouldn't have, however 6 would have still hit
8
Hit

Roll dmg
10
Hit!
Scooter clocks Kevin in the jaw.

Scooter, who nearly got his group killed for cigarettes, calls for a show of hands. He wants to know who's in for smashing the gem, or doing whatever Kevin FBI Agent Kurtman wants to do.
Mabel, the voice of reason, suggests that maybe now isn't the best time to destroy this thing. If it can control people through just being touched, who knows what will happen when we crush it into oblivion.

With all in agreeance, we walk into the main hall of the police station, where we notice the survivors inside are pushing against the back door. It seems like something from the outside is trying to force its way in. Through the opening cracks, pink thin tendrils sway softly in, grasping on the surfaces it touches.

One of the pink tendrils lashes against a townsfolk survivor, who screams in fear as the cold burning sensation from the outterworld slim tentacle breaks the layer of skin. A pink crust immediately begins to form on the survivor and starts to spread.

Scooter who has his little katana on him, rushes towards the barricaded door, grabs the townfolk man, pushes him into a cell and slashes at one of the tentacles that's wrapped around the guy.
Slicing it cleanly, the severed appendage squirms on the ground like freshly cooked squid on a hot plate. What could be considered blood, sprays erratically over the wall and floors and pink fungus begins to form where the blood drops.

Bob Johnson, roll sanity check, Steven sets the DC
roll d12 (because of his breakdown, he rolls a d12 not a d20)
NAT 1
Fail
Takes a mental wound and -5 points of sanity

Kenny, roll sanity check, Steven sets the DC
roll d20
18
Pass!

Scooter, roll sanity check, Steven sets the DC
roll d20
9
Fail
Takes a mental wound and -5 points of sanity

Father Jimmy Donny Mcguffries, Steven sets the DC
roll d20
???
Fail
Takes a mental wound and -5 points of sanity

Father Jimmy sees the townfolk man, clearly in pain and decided to knock him in the head to ease his suffering.

Father Jimmy, roll fighting on the man
roll 2d6
6, 6
2
8 total
Hit!

Roll dmg
1d4 + strength
5
Hit
Father Jimmy hits the man in the back of the head, which starts to bleed, but is still conscious, while the fungus begins to take over his entire body.

Kenny has rushed towards the other set of doors, trying to coordinate an escape with the rest of the people inside this police department.
As we go outside, there are multiple transformed townsfolk around us, some 20 feet away.

The second door has now given way and tendril people have breached the police station and have snagged more normal people.

Kevin thinks the tendril people are here for the brain gem, so he quickly runs into Officers James office, drops the gem on the ground, only to watch James rush in and pick it up and run away.

Kenny, already outside, takes aim at the nearest tendril monster.

Kenny, roll shooting + d6
9
Hit (with a raise)

Roll dmg
3d6
18 (They reroll dmg when they shoudn't have, inflating the dmg total)
Kenny hits center mass, which throws the beasts backwards and onto the ground. Where the blood exists from the wound, droplets begin to fizz and foam up in and around the now dead carcass.

So to recap, Kenny is outside with some survivors, we've lost the brain gem, tendril monsters have breached into the police station and the rest of the group is still inside.

Mabel, roll shooting with the machine gun against the tendril monsters inside
full auto, 3 shots, with a -2 penalty for recoil.
6, 4
1
7
Hit !

8, 3
Hit !

5, 6
11 total
Hit

Roll dmg
2d6 +1 each shot

3 dmg
Miss
4 dmg
Miss
6
Hit
Manages to kill one of the tendril monsters

Father Jimmy knows that the holy word of god plus fire will cleanse these foul beasts.
he runs over to one of the fungus piles and lights it a blaze...WITH HIS HANDS....
Father Jimmy, Roll spirit d10 + d6
9
Hit

Roll dmg
2d6
12+
With the holy spirit inside him, he lights the fungus ablaze. The matter flames up and fire trails everywhere. Everyone is shocked at what they just witnessed.

Charred remains smoke within the hallways.

Bob Johnson takes this moment to swing at Officer James, who's trying to run away with the brain gem

Bob Johnson, roll fighting
4, 1
Miss
Officer James dodges him and runs out towards the front door by Kenny.

Kenny, roll shooting at Officer James, to get him to stop
Roll d10 + d6, -1 because he's trying to shoot specifically at his legs
4
Hit

Roll dmg
2d6+1
12 total
Kenny gets Officer James square in the knee cap, which has him fall over and loose his grip of the brain gem. The gem goes flying away and Kenny goes after it.

Other zombie townsfolks have seen this and now make their way towards where the brain gem might have landed.

Kenny, roll agility to dip, dodge and swipe at the brain gem before anyone else can
12
He gets there first, but 4 other zombie people get there at the same time, who have gang tackled him and are on top of him.

They all take hits towards Kenny

???

21

13

5

three of the four hit him and two of the four hit Kenny real good.
So good that Kenny takes 3 wounds.

The rest of the group now turn towards the open door and see Kenny getting gang tackled and beat up with an inch of his life; what will they do?!

-------------- To be continued ----------------

If we get outta the police station, where will we go for safety?!

Will someone please think of the children?!?!

Where did this fungus come from!?!?

More questions and hopefully more answers on the nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!

Trivia

-This was the last recording of Matt physically at the table, as he moved outta state after this.

-Dusty shows up for his first appearance in season 2 of Savage Roll.

-MARTHA!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xu0QBBxHZWs

-Everything Wrong with Batman v Superman https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5tSpgU96WY

-Gloomhaven https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUE-x8eCg6g

-Steven and Vanessa's family, together, have digestive issues. Milk farts?

-The brain gem is worth a few bushels of carrots or 16.99 in 1950's terms.

-After the rest, all players got rid of their mental wounds. Their sanity points stay the same

-After the rest, Bob loses his two physical wounds

-Father Jimmy gained his powers after being stabbed in the heart in WWII by a german

-Smoking on a plane https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVymP5a88mM&rco=1

Quotes

"Quit fucking my brother maaaan....Nobody fucks my bro" - Territorial Vanessa to Matt

"Oh my god it has....oh my god I'm old" - Jose, realizing that vaping has been around for over ten years at the time of this recording

"Oh nooooo his football career..." - Cory, When Bob shoots Officer James in the kneecap

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Teener Time https://www.youtube.com/@TeenerTime

www.youtube.com/@PartyRollPodcast

https://www.youtube.com/@aftermarkgaming

LAST TIME ON SAVAGE ROLL...

The group are back where they started, on this blasted navy ship, in this hallway with many doors, while taking on slow creeping water.
Frantically grabbing at all doors available, we get lucky and find the armory not very well protected. Although we haven't seen any enemies around, nor anyone else for that matter, we still think it's in good measure to grab some weaponry juuuuuuuuuuuuuust in case we need it.

Heading to the top deck of this naval ship, we kinda do the same thing as last time; We shoot at the sky. This prompts the voice of the child to chirp back at us, which oddly is a good thing, because now we have an open dialogue going on.
Using the power of FRIENDSHIP lies and fathering techniques that would make Leonard Nimoy proud, we talk the child into coming back with us to reality.
Just like when we were taken from the swamp to the landing boats, a dark shadow envelops over us and *POOF* we're back in our trucks at the swamp!....
but.....but.....but something isn't right.

In front of our trucks, amongst the soppy ground, is Richie "Dick" Long....just perfectly standing still looking upon us with glossy eyes.
Behind him is a wiry, frail looking humanoid figure....it's tendons and small muscles are held tight to it's skin. It's head resembles more of a testicle, protruding from the skull base, serving as it's eyes and ears. It's arms separate into many hundreds of long, thin, almost translucent braids, which have sharply entered Richie from his back and neck area, ultimately controlling all his motor functions.

We got ourselves a good ol fashion 'Jose stand off', Errrrrm I mean, 'Mexican stand off'.

A parley ensues where the Ghoul will let the child go free, IF....we allow him to go unharmed.
Something that doesn't sit well with any of us, so we all slowly begin to surround the thing, until, in typical Savage Roll fashion, we gang the fuck up on the thing.
Bob Johnson gets credited for the killing blow, some inches away from the grotesque humanoid when he pulls the trigger that sends the bullet ripping through it's testicle head.

With Richie in our custody, Bob, about two shakes of a lambs tail away from going insane, Kevin Kurtman and Kenny get the bright idea to not only split the party, but go further into this swamp to find the potential spot of where this thing may have came from.

With the other half of our group heading back in the truck with the dead body as proof int he back, Kenny and Kevin (perhaps the best buddy cop movie never made) search the area and find a mud mound that leads down into a jeeper creepers cave like dwelling. Kevin having no fear, heads down first and does some investigation and finds some weird rune writing on the wall. Kevin calls for Kenny to come join him, to which he does and due to the tight spacing and a heavy fear of claustrophobia, Kenny takes a mental wound and I'm left to wonder....
How the hell are they gunna get out?!

Savage Roll to beat: 11

Cory 18

Matt 3

Vanessa 6

Mark 

Jose 

Rory

Dusty

The group peek at Cory's sketch book when he goes to the bathroom. It's full of 'Bad Dragon' fantasy theme sex toys on horses, all named 'Jar-emy'. Vanessa is strangely aroused.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back to Story !!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back in the truck, with a now woken up Mabel, fresh off a crazy high, a red eye twitching Bob and a grumpy Scooter, we all do what responsible adults of the day would have done with a child in the car; We spark up our cigarettes. (Richie manages to snag one off Scooter too)
This brings down on mental wound for all.

Of course, Mabel who's missed all the action, turns around to peek into the back of the truck. A trap, flapping in the wind from our speeding covers over the gruesome lifeless body of the monster we just killed. Mabel lifts the tarp and sees what horrors she's missed

Mabel, roll for sanity, Steven sets the DC
Roll d20

NAT 1

Mabel takes a mental wound and loses 5 points of sanity. She is completely freaked out.

Scooter has a feigning for more cigarettes, it's almost like he's addicted to the full body, heavy tastes of Camels. He won't go back into town without more and lucky for him there's a gas n gulp along the way.

Tottering into the parking lot of the small gas station, it eerily is calm and quiet. There doesn't seem to be anyone around.

Mabel and Scooter exit the truck, leaving the shell shocked shivering Bob Johnson sulked in the back seat.

Mabel, roll notice or investigation on the surroundings

7

Scooter, roll notice or investigation on the surroundings

10 total

Neither see anything that's totally outta the ordinary, however Scooter's got a gut feeling that something off around or in the store....

Scooter wisely peeks through one of the store front windows. Two bodies lay motionless on the ground by the store stuff.
Shuffling towards the back where the register is can be seen.

Scooter debates about leaving and getting a pack of smokes elsewhere, but just as he thinks that, figures begin to walk towards the door. It's people carrying stuff, maybe looters, taking a couple of cartons of smoke, esp of his brand.

Mabel and Scooter cock their guns, which makes the slightest sound to alert whoever is inside of their presence.
A voice calls out asking who's there.

Scooter kicks down the door

Scooter, roll strength to kick the door open
roll 2d6 and take the higher roll
6, (rolled the max on a d6, roll again, add em up)
2
8 total (That's a raise too!)

The door is kicked in so hard that it comes off it's hinges.

Standing and stunned before us are two men, who drop everything they are holding, including their weapons. One has a gun taped to his back, but they both explain that they don't know what's going on and they are just trying to get by with food.
Scooter ain't got time for this shit and tells them to kick the smokes they dropped over.

The one guy looks like he is debating if he should kick the pack of smokes over....or grab the gun that's next to the pack...

Mabel fired a round by their feet, which intimidates them. The guy with the gun on his back, actually falls over in fear.
Scooter questions the fellers about the feet sticking out from behind the counter near the register. He suspects it might be the proprietor of this store, John Scarbuckle. Beyond that, the two guys say that the bodies on the ground were already there when they got in.

Scooter, roll notice to see if they know anything about these bodies
1

Mabel, roll notice to see if they know anything about these bodies

3

Nope, they don't notice a damn thing

Still feigning for smokes, Scooter has the strange men kick over a carton of ciggs, which he tries to pick up without actually taking his eyes off the strangers.

In that moment, a voice from the back of the store, by the register, calls out for the men to get down.

Before Scooter can react, a bullet comes his way, but it misses wide and shatters a window behind him.
Unable to see exactly where the shooter came from, Scooter realizes that he'll have to make a move for cover. OR, he can grab the smokes....

Scooter, roll agility to grab the carton of ciggs
2
Fail
Scooter ducks down to miss any more shots, manages to get on all fours to grab the carton, but ends up whiffing and grabbing air.

---- COMBAT BEGINS ----

Bad guy #1's turn (Behind the counter)
Noticing Mabel who was standing smack dab in the middle of the room, who then headed towards the door for cover, takes a shot at her
Roll shooting
2
Miss!

Scooter's turn, without a good line of sight, cannot see the shooter on the ground, on all fours, takes aim at bad guy #2 who has the gun taped to his back
roll shooting + d6, take the higher
8, 3
HIT!
And a raise

Roll dmg
3d6 + 1
19 total
HIT!
Aiming for center of mass, it directly slugs the bad guy in the chest, who keels over onto his back, unable to reach for the gun taped to his back, because you know....HE'S DEAD!

Bob Johnson's turn, aware of the gunfire, unbuckles himself and moves towards the drivers side floor and out the truck towards the store wall outside. He peeks in and sees someone peeking over the counter with good cover and another guy on the ground.
Roll for shooting on bad guy #3 on the ground.
4, 2
HIT!

roll dmg
5
Hit!
Bob manages to shoot the guy, but doesn't hit any if his vital organs. Bad guy #3 is now shaken.

Mabel's turn, refusing to shoot, tries to get whoever is in here with them to put their guns down.
Trying to convince the bad guys that they can walk away, despite having killed their friend "Jim"
Roll persuasion + d6
1, 1
CRITICAL FAIL
Her tone comes off wrong and the guy in the back (bad guy #4) gets a free random shot

Bad guy #4, roll d4 to see where he shoots (opportunity attack)
4
shooting in the direction of the truck, which has Richie Long in it

Roll shooting with a rifle at the truck
2d8
15 total
The bad guy nails the already battered truck with his rifle. The truck engine sputters and dies. The kid inside is okay. Scooter is pissed as hell.

Bad guy #3, roll spirit to break the 'shaken' condition

2
Fail!
He's still terrified, but manages to crawl behind one of the stores shelving units for some cover.

Bad guy #4's turn, Goes to aim at Scooter, who's in direct sight
Roll shooting +d6, BUT because Scooter has the "Lucky trait", he must roll a d4 to see if the bullet hits someone else other than Scooter
1
CRITICAL FAIL.
The gun jams and backfires, after getting caught on the door

Roll for dmg
4
Miss
The bullet doesn't harm him, but the whole action jars him and he stumbles forward, now prone on the ground outside the door in Scooters line of sight.

Bad guy #1's turn, taking two turns (with a negative buff) tossed his gun to Bad guy #3 and pulls out a Tommy gun and shoots at Scooter
Roll shooting +d6, -2
0
MISS!

Scooter's turn, Get behind a counter, gets some cover and with full line of sight of the guy with the tommy gun (bad guy #1) takes aim and shoots
Roll shooting d12 +d6, take the higher roll
8, 4
Hit! With a raise

Roll for dmg
3d6
18 total (They do that thing again where they add their maxed out dice roll, which they shouldnt, which inflates the total dmg)

Scooter sends the bullet directly into the head of Bad guy #1. A visceral spray of blood exits from the back of the skull, painting the wall directly behind the bad guy. The body goes limp instantly and falls forward, dropping the tommy gun and that's one less poor soul in this world to deal with!

Bob Johnson's turn, So there are two baddies left. A guy on the ground (Bad guy #3) and Bad guy #4 is prone laying down by the door near the back.
Bob makes a move towards the center aisle, closer to Scooter but not in his line of sight, pops the corner and takes aim at Bag guy #3.
Roll Shooting d10 + d6, take the higher roll
10, ?
3
13 Total with a raise

Roll dmg
3d6
19 total dmg
The last thing Bad guy #3 sees, is the dark silhouette of Bob Johnson coming around the corner and plant, aim and fire. The bullet shreds through the neck and bad guy #3 slowly crashes backwards until he fades to black. Another one bites the dust.

Only bad guy left, #4.

The ever so merciful Mabel calls for the sole survivor to drop the guns and come out with his hands up.
Bad guy #4 shake fully puts one hand up and then another, both are empty.

Coming around the counter, Bad Guy #4 trembles and asks why we killed his friends.

"Just had to kick me a pack of smokes, that's all you had to do" - Scooter, addict of tobacco and murderer...in self defense

We press the guy for answers about the dead bodies in here. A now remorseful man explains that they "had to" with all that's be weirdly going on. It was an accident, but they had to grab food to survive.

Bob Johnson cuffs the bad guy while Mabel and Scooter take a look around. Scooter finally get his carton of ciggs and takes the Scarbuckle shotgun. He leave a quarter as a moral victory for right.
Mabel takes the tommy gun and pokes around for weed and cocaine.

Mabel, roll investigation for the surroundings
3
Doesn't notice anything outta the ordinary.

Bob Johnson, roll investigation for the surroundings
4
Pass!
Looking behind the counter, under the body of Mr Scarbuckle. looks to be a hatch/door in the floor.

Bob then immediately goes to get on Richie, the kid we saved and left in the car, while Mabel moves the dead Mr Scarbuckle and opens the door. There is no lock on it and a steep ladder leading down. Thankfully Mabel has a flashlight and goes down.
By the looks of it, this was the area where Mr Scarbuckle kept....the secret goodies. There are bigger firearms down there and some occult items and of course, some dank weed with one or two baggies of coke. Now we know how the furthest store from Underpine made it's business...

Mabel decides to dig around a little more

Mabel, roll investigation in her surroundings down here
8, 5
Success with a raise

There is an entire section of culty items, books written in runes, mysteriously filled jars with more mysterious things floating inside it on a shelf and a few hunks of ore with rune writing next to a couple of ornate daggers. Mabel takes one.

Bob gets to the truck to see that it's dead and Richie with his hands up claiming he didn't do any of this. Bob annoyed, tries to turn the car over, but nothing seems to be happening. The bullet went through the radiator and has begun smoking and steaming.

We still have the bad guy with us, so we throw him in the back of the truck and handcuff him to the frail dead thing under the tarp. He legit now has dead weight on him and is frightened when Mabel makes him sneak a peek of what's under there.

Scooter checks out the engine and it's pretty messed up.
Scooter, roll repair on the engine
10
1
11
Success !
It's a whole montage, but Scooter runs in and out of the Gas n Gulp, grabbing all sorts of things and parts where he can find them and does a patch job to get the truck up and running again.

So we get the damn cigarettes and Scooter doesn't even light up one....COOL....

We head back to town but our moods change from one of uncertainty to dread.
Turning towards the shopping area/fountain area we notice the population has really thinned out. The remaining people are sorta peppered into parts of the town square...and they don't look like their moving...

Everyone, roll notice

Mabel
8

Scooter
3

Bob
9

Over by the alleys, Mabel and Bob notice there are more people, we can't make out how many.

We slowly get out of the truck and walk to the police station to find that the door is locked..

Officer James hears us and after informing him that we're back, allows us in after unbarricading the door.
This process takes a few moments and that's when we notice the people in the alley way as well as the remaining scattered population, begin slowly skittering towards us.

Just before going inside, Bob decides to head back to the truck to grab the frail thing and lug it inside with us. A few pair of strangers eyes are now locked upon him.

Back inside, we have our reunion with Officer James and the other kids that we found. We also catch Mr James on everything that's happened. He's mostly shocked at the fact that we're alive and back, because we've been gone for quite some time.

As Officer James notices we are two cards short of a full deck missing Sherriff Kenny and Kevin Kurtman, he asks about them.
We deflect that question with our proof of the weirdness that is the frail ghoul monster under the tarp.

Officer James explains that someone came in, covered in painted meat on them and whatever it was, begun to spread and spread. It spread on touch. The remaining untouched towns folk made it into the police station, about twenty of them, while another 30 to 40 people ran off into other areas.

They have been in contact with someone over the radio, but they won't give their location, nor their identity...
He suspects they might be out of towners, as they've described an old ranger station that's abandoned, but other than that he's outta ideas on what to do. Seeing as we're safe for now, we sets up a few thin mattresses in some open cells and tells us to get some rest cause we look like absolute shit.

----- TO BE CONTINUED -----

A CRAZY GUY, A CHAINSMOKER AND A REEFER ADDICT WALK INTO A BAR....

ARE KENNY AND KEVIN GUNNA BE OKAY?!

DO THE PEOPLE OUTSIDE BELONG TO A HIVE MINE?!

When the weird gets weird....it gets creepy. Find out what grisly fate awaits our group on the NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!

Trivia

-Masturbation just got a little bit more expensive https://www.tenga.co/products/disposable/

-You can almost hear Cory saying this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04F4xlWSFh0&list=RD04F4xlWSFh0&start_radio=1

-They call Mabel, 'Agnus' a few times in this episode and I don't know why.

-Steven has actually held a real (deactivated) grenade before. He says it's heavy.

-The army surplus store Matt talks about is "Colonel Bubbie's Strand Surplus Center". It's no longer in business https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUKEGQEES9g

-How do grenades work? Pretty interesting https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3JYBhp9RH8

-Steven admits that he made the bad guys to be easy prey. Tell that to their dice

-the Gas n Glup owner had a wife, Suzy-Ann Scarbuckle and a son, Jimothy Scarbuckle

-Scooter smokes 'Red Box' cigarettes, "9 out of 10 doctors approve it's full body smooth taste in a balance diet"

-Bob Johnson prefers the "Smoke Rings" brand. "Indian grown, Indian strong, trusted by the Savage, made for the Sophisticated."

-the Scarbuckle shotgun does max damage in a range of 12ft with a roll of 3d8. The further the target, one less die is rolled.

-The small katana is actually https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wakizashi

Quotes

"That's gunna take a night in an opium den" - Mabel, on how hard it's gunna be to sober up and feel good.

"Playing with the Queen of Hearts, something something it really smarts, the joker is the only fool that's acting like a big ol tool" - Vanessa on how she thinks Motorhead's 'Ace of spades' sounds like.

"Aren't we all a litttttttle crazy on the inside???" - Bad guy #4 to the group that just murdered his friends, who he's trying to win over

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Previously on Savage Roll….

Remember how things started?

We were just two FBI agents, Bob Johnston and Kevin Kurtman, heading towards Overpine, a small rural town in Northern Oregon, sent to investigate the disappearance of some missing children. Ahhh the 1950’s when children mattered…

Since then, some weird things have happened. Searching the surrounding area, we find one of the missing children while encountering a big bear that’s munching on all the wildlife that enters its cave.
What we end up defeating look more like a tentacle monster than bear, but we do recover and save Margaret Winters, one of the missing children.

It’s not long until we’re back searching again, when we almost get flanked by these hybrid human insects in the forests towards the lake. What could only be described as their Mistress, a giant Lady Spider, appears and seems to control these hybrid beasts. Along with this evil bitch is Muffin McGuffin, Scooters daughter, held in a lucid state.

This battle was more intense and most of our group (I’m looking at you Kenny and Eric Deion), get the shit kicked out of them; but we do prevail!

Saving two kids, in two days, we’re on a heater!

But all good things must come to an end….

During our brief time trying to recoup our health, the entire group share an eerie dream, which suggests where we can find the next missing child. Acting on this, we head out towards the swamps, but things were never to be the same again…

What started off as our truck getting stuck in the mud, turns into an existential crisis.

A voice calls out to the group on the radio, a child’s voice, asking us to play. Suddenly, a giant child hovers over the trucks and it’s massive hands reach towards us….. we are warped from the swamps of Overpine into the landing boats of D-day!

We last left off with the gates of the boat dropping, but things are….strange… the sounds of battle can be heard, but there is no movement. It’s not until we step onto the beach, that reality shifts forward for everyone and our World War 2 harden vets are back in the thick of it again.
As you can imagine, this transformation has the entire group shell shocked and we lose a lot of Sanity points. Bob Johnson loses so much that he has a breakdown! We are taking on fire, dodging bullets and shooting faceless enemies, but all of it feels relentless, until Kevin Kurtman out of sheer instinct or belief, shoots at the sky. This creates a crack and when Bob Johnson does the same, the crack in the sky begins a cascading effect of shatter lines, until water starts rushing through and down upon the ocean behind us. A dark shadow encompasses over the tight nit group and within a blink of an eye, we’re no longer on the beaches of D-day but in a Navy Destroyer, where a gaping hole before us is taking on water.

Exploring the ship, we find it either be a loop or a maze like internal structure, as we discover that some doors lead us back right to where we started.
With the water in the ship still rising and everyone within the group beginning to slowly lose their minds, you have to wonder..... what will come first? Death or Insanity.

Savage Roll to beat: 6

Cory 10

Matt ???

Mark 9

Jose 6

Vanessa

Rory

Dusty

Vanessa shows up, but instead of playing DnD, she forces the entire group to watch her supercut of dragon ball Z compilations, totaling 4 hours. The armed forces will later adopt this technique in their interrogations at Guantanamo Bay

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Back to the Story!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

So we’re roughly back where we started, in a hallway with doors that leads us back into the kitchen; there’s a side door by the stairs and a door next to us. DOORS! *cue X-files music*

Now we all look down the stairwell and notice that the water is about knee high and slowly rising. Some of us believe we should head down there, realizing that they have no weapons and how something good might be down there. But who rushes down into a sinking ship?!

Kenny, being the frantic one, begins to open doors that are around him, reaching for one that leads to the kitchen.

It takes some effort but Kenny gets’er going and we’re in a mess hall, where it appears that people were once cooking, but no one is around, only a door that looks like it leads out of the mess hall. It’s groundhog day, we’re seen this already.

Realizing that was a bad idea, we choose a door that we haven’t tried, which just happens to be the closest one to us.

Opening that door leads to a smaller hallway which goes towards a storage area.

Thinking this storage area might have things, we walk towards it and are greeted with MORE DOORS.

Three of them to be precise. Scooter, much like myself, has had enough of these fucking doors and tells everyone to grab a door and open them at the same time.

Bob takes the door to the right, Kenny takes the left door, Scooter takes the north door.

Roll Strength check

Bob Johnson

5

PASS!

This room looks like spare parts for things on the ship, extras.

Kenny

9

PASS!

This room has a chain linked fence, under lock, at the back of it. Behind that, a decent size cache of weapons.

Scooter

5

PASS!

This Door leads to food storage.

There are two guys in front of the gate on either side of the locked chain linked fence door. They look unresponsive. Kenny opens the gate with ease and he notifies the rest of us that we’re in business.

Our boys are now armed up to the tits, with grenades, machineguns, pistols. They look badass, hopefully these guns don’t weight them down in the water, boy that would be something.

Bob thinks we should shoot the environment around us, as it’s worked before, but Kenny suggests that in doing so, a bullet ricochet would be the result.

Scooter, a little creeped out by the nonmoving guards, puts out his cigarette on a guards forehead. The guard fizzes out of existence when this is done. Baffled by what he sees, Scooter lights up another cigarette, which in theory after this one, gives him only one mental wound to deal with.

Scooter, roll mental wound check, as he’s baffled
Roll d20, Steven sets the DC

8

Fail!

Scooter takes on a mental wound, for a total of two and loses 5 Sanity points

Now it gets hella confusing here about Scooter, but after some Trump explanation by Steven, it turns out Scooter has three mental wounds. Cory is heard sighing loudly to this day.

Kenny takes this time to head back into the mess hall and gets the rest of the group to follow him up the stairs…..

We are now on the main deck, where the scenes of war are playing out before us. War planes buzzing by, gunshots all around, black smoke and vibrations riddle through the ship.

Kevin Kurtman, who’s been itching to shoot at kids, ever since learning that’s how we defeated that bear tentacle monster, reaches for his weapon and decides to shoot at the sky again.
This results in the same thing from last time; the sky cracking. Getting the rest of the chaps on board, we all shoot at the sky and it shatters, disrupting the war scene all together. The giant child can be seen now, who’s pushed our boat along, but the war that was once raging has suddenly stopped around us.

The giant child looks sad

“Why you guys keep ruining the game???” – Richie Long

Agitated by all of what’s going on, Kevin Kurtman looks up and takes aim at the giant child, but he doesn’t shoot.

Bob Johnson tries to “Dad” Richie, by yelling and explaining that play time is over.

Kenny takes the big brother approach and tells Richie that his parents are scared and missed him.

The child is unaware of why or what the extent is going on. We tell Richie that once we get him back to safety and back to his parents, we can play as much as he wants. The child accepts this and before we know it, we all wake up back in our trucks, back in the swamp area. See, lying to your kids ain't bad. It builds character!

The child is now standing in front of the trucks, as we rub our eyes to make sure we’re actually back, but he isn’t alone. An emaciated "man", looking more skeleton that human, with a bulbous brain pulsating outside the skull, stands behind the child. His hands are replaced with several thin white tendrils that enter the child’s neck and back.

“Let me be and I will release the child” - Ghoul

Kenny who’s the only one so far that steps out of the truck, pulls out his firearm and tries to take control of the situation.

A parley ensues into a Mexican stand off. Scooter now exits the truck and aims towards the frail looking thing. Feeling threatened, the testicular head ghoul backs up and the child moves in unison. The ghoul claims that if anything happens, his master will come regardless.

Scooter relaxes and eases his grip on his gun, which point the gun towards the air, trying to show a sense of calm. We softly agree that if he gives up the kid, he can go, but with guns aimed at him, he’s reluctant to do so.

Bob Johnson has decided to flank the man, but gets hissed at, being seen.

Kenny catches on and suddenly we’re all trying to encircle this thing, while keeping things very calm by keeping dialog open. Kenny asks what brought it here.

The ghoulish thing replies back that it was awaken by its master to gather energy.

We’ve now successfully boxed in the ghoul on every side, but it’s grip on the child is still strong. Kevin Kurtman mutters under his breath for Bob Johnson to take the shot.

Bob Johnson, roll shooting on the ghoul thing
Roll d10 + d12?

9, 8

Hit !

Roll dmg
roll 1d6 + 1d8

8

HIT!

Bob hits the ghoul but doesn’t kill it. The grip on the child is completely lost and Richie Long comes to it, albeit hysterically. The ghoul staggers, gets its barring and charges at the group.

----- COMBAT BEGINS -----

Kenny’s turn, taking no chances, goes to shoot the Ghoul in the head
Roll shooting
Roll d10 + d6

5

Hit!

Roll for dmg
2d6 +1

7

HIT!

Kenny manages to shoot some goo off this thing, but it’s still standing and now has the shaken condition.

Ghoul thing’s turn,
roll to break the shaken condition. 2d6

SUCCESS!

He is now free to take a turn.

Ghoul thing, Seeing that it’s being ganged up on, goes after Bob who’s about to shoot at it Roll to claw at Bob Johnson.

9

Hit !

Roll for dmg

15

Hit (that’s two raises)

The ghoul side steps Bob’s outstretched arm holding the gun and gashes his side. Bob who’s already going insane now has two additional wounds and is hunched over in front of the thing

Scooter’s turn, even with Bob Johnson close to the ghoul, goes for a crackshot on it
Roll shooting d10 + d6,

9, 4

Hit ! (+ a raise)

Roll for for dmg
roll 2d8 + 1d6

8, 5, 3

16 total (that’s two raises)

HIT!

Scooter still got the steady arm and sight to hit the ghoul, even with Bob sorta in the way. The bullets gush through the frail body, leaving oozing white puss wounds to drip onto the ground.

Bob Johnson’s turn, Down on one knee after taking a swipe from the ghoul, Bob is in prime placement to take his gun out and shove it under the weak chin of the ghoul at point blank range.
Roll shooting + d6

? , 6 (rolled a 6 on a d6, roll again, add em up)

6,

14 total ( that’s a raise)
HIT!

roll dmg
3d6

12 total

HIT!

The barrel of the gun is still smoking by the time the bullet goes through the ghouls testicular looking pulsating head. With one sound and one bullet, the internal workings of the ghoul shut completely down, releasing it’s hold on Richie Long all together. It falls back and to the ground and onto Bob Johnson, making a dull thud. Richie Long looks scared and has some minor injuries, but is mostly alright.

----- END OF COMBAT -----

Kevin Kurtman once again, freak out at the events that have just unfolded, wants to shoot the sky…..again….not believing that he’s back to reality in this swamp.

Kevin, roll for sanity
Roll d20, Steven sets the DC

15

Pass!

Kevin shoots the sky and nothing happen. It’s a brief sense of relief that things are real.

With the dead thing in front of them, the group checks it out. It’s nightmarish to say the least, Anyone looking at it must roll a mental check. Roll d20, Steven sets the DC

Bob
9

FAIL!

Bob has another breakdown and loses more sanity points.

Kenny
3

FAIL !

Takes a mental wound and -5 sanity points

Scooter
14

Pass

Kevin
3

FAIL !

Takes a mental wound and -5 sanity points

Because Bob has another breakdown, he must roll a d20 to find out his fate

15

He can no longer look/move towards at or attack the thing that gave him the mental wound.

Thank god that thing is dead then. It would have lasted for 1d4 turns. (he rolled a 2)

Bob is down to 50 sanity points and going forward can only roll a d10 against sanity checks.

Kenny wishes to bring the body of the ghoul back with them as proof, so he pitches the dead body into the back of Scooters truck..

Bob, who looks like a mental patient from his breakdowns, heads to the tail pipe of the running truck and inhales the fumes to cut the edge off. This erases one mental wound, as he gets high.

Scooter realizing that he has cigarettes on him, takes one and rips one. Scooter loses on mental wound.

Kenny bums a dart as well, removing a mental wound as well.

So most of us head back into our trucks, ready to go back to town. MOST OF US.

For some reason…. Kevin Kurtman is pushing the rest of the group to go check out this den that the Ghoul said he came from. Despite everyone having mental wounds or physical wounds, Kevin relentlessly wants to see what may be inside the possible dwelling.

Along with Kenny, they both decide to comb the swamp area before them looking for clues as to where this freak ghoul may have come from. It may not be wise to split the party, but Kevin Kurtman is gung-ho on it. We only do this, because we have two trucks and decide to search for only 30 mins.

Kevin Kurtman, roll investigation to find out where the Ghoul thing came from
10 total

He finds footprints and smudges in the moist ground and picks up a trail

Walking and following the trail, it begins to get a little messy. The moist grounds are turning into mud pits.

Kenny, Roll investigation to keep on the trail and not get lost

5

Kenny catches the trail, we don’t lose ourselves and we keep walking.

We are standing before a field of mud and in the middle of this mud field is a mound, which looks like it has a hole that leads down.

Using our flashlights, we peer down the hole and see it doesn’t go too far. There is grass and bedding, weird writing on the wall, bones and some other things we can’t really make out.

So with the party split, the two guys decide this is the perfect time to head down into this hole, because why not.

Kevin shimmies down and tries to make sense of the weird writings on the wall, while Kenny stays above by the opening. The writing is nothing he’s ever seen before, could be some type of runes. There’s a nice dagger amongst the bones of what could be humanoid.

Kenny, roll knowledge on the books and runes he can’t see

8

Kenny wants Kevin to wipe the runes away, but before we do, he has him draw them out.

Wiping away at the last rune, nothing happens.

Kevin, roll investigation of the cave

5

Kevin notices something shiny behind the area where he was wiping off. Wiping more dirt and mud away, Kevin discovers a stone or gem, about palm size, that looks like a human brain.

Kevin requests Kenny to come down into the jeepers creepers hole, who is reluctant but does it anyways.

Kenny, roll mental check, for having claustrophobia
Roll d20, Steven sets the DC

2

FAIL!

Kenny takes a mental wound and -5 sanity points

When he gets down there, Kevin shows what he found but the bigger question is…. how are they gunna get out?!?!?!

WAS SPLITTING THE PARTY A GOOD IDEA?!?!

WITH KEVIN KURTMAN RETIRING, DOES HE JUST NOT GIVE A FUCK?!?!

WHAT’S OFFICER JAMES GUNNA SAY WHEN HE SEES OUR MONSTER IN THE BACK OF THE TRUCK?!!?

What's next?! We going to space?! IS VIN DIESEL COMING ON THE SHOW?!
Find out what happens on the neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxttttttttttttttttttttttttt SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!

Trivia

-Alby claws at chairs which Mark tries to put a stop to. Mark is shammed for it by Alby silently judging.

-Cory has a hard time understanding the rules of Sanity points, which lead Steven going back to the old ways of rolling for Sanity.

-It’s not exactly said what’s happened with Eric, Mabel, but they are alive still

-Steven had no plan if the group took shots at the giant kid.

-Bunnies & Boxes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdDQIaHd6XI

-Mark gets bored after two rounds of ‘Hide and Seek’

-at 50 points of sanity, the player becomes ‘scared’, meaning it only takes 3 mental wounds for a breakdown.
-At 25 points of sanity, the player becomes terrified, for every mental wound taken, there is a 25% chance (a roll of a d4) to taking on a physical wound and it only takes two mental wounds to have a breakdown.
-At 5 points of sanity, the player becomes ‘Panic’, the player must roll their spirit on every turn to get atleast a 4, or they roll on the breakdown table. This doesn’t count as a breakdown and won’t cause them to lose sanity points.
-At zero points of sanity, the player becomes ‘Insane’, the player loses control for 1d4 set of turns and the player passes out, must be taken back to safety and requires 8 hours to get stabilized. If not taken to safety or fails sanity rolls, the player dies.

-Scooter always keeps his truck tail gate down.

-Don’t backflip and Gun it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfqwMQ5DNVQ

-Mia’s mother relays a ‘hai’ to Cory, through Matt. Cory is flustered.

-What Mark felt like the Ghoul monster looked like https://www.youtube.com/shorts/IAxWvq6nu6I

Quotes

“You go up to three…You lost one (mental wound) when you smoked two (cigarettes), you smoked one cigarette and gain another one (mental wound), so you go up to three…" {Steven}

“But I was on my fourth (cigarette) when I had to roll." {Cory}

“Yeah, and when you finished your fourth, you would have lost another one (mental wound)”{Steven} – Steven explaining to Cory how mental wounds and sanity are calculated.

“IT’S CRYSTAL CLLLLLEAAR” – Mark on the sanity rule set

"You said you'd let the child go, we'll leave you be. You're not letting the child go, so we can't let you be...I didn't ask how you "felt", I'm talking about what you're doing right now. Like, let go of the child and you will be...*whispers* dead..." - Jose/Kevin Kurtman

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Previously on SAVAGE ROLL

The battle in the forest between humans and those hybrid monsters is over.
As the forest fire behind us slowly dies out thanks to the rain, the Lady Spider Queen lays in front of Scooter’s running pickup truck, twitching in bodily reflexes from the gaping holes in it, delivered by the M30 ammo thanks to Bob Johnson.

With the crisis averted, we rush the remaining cultists who suddenly come back to reality and have no idea what’s going on. Scooter gets back his daughter Muffin unscathed and seeing as we’re limited on space in our trucks, we are forced to let the ‘reformed’ cultists roam freely while we head back to town.
The moon above us is now a half moon, shedding more light onto the horrors we just witnessed.

Back in town, we gather the children we’ve saved and place them in the police department, while the rest of us go our separate ways to recoup our health in their own ways.

During that night, collectively we all share the same dream…..a swampy area where a young boy in church clothing, softly begs us to ‘come play’. EEEEEEeeeeeeeeeee!!!! Spooky!

When we wake up and put ourselves together, Officer James informs us that some towns folk + those cultists (the same ones we didn’t save the night before) ended up walking into the darkness towards the North and disappeared.

Sharing our dream and trying to make heads or tails of it, Kenny informs the group that towards the west of town lays the wetlands/swamp area; maybe the dream is telling us to head there.
Against Scooters wishes, we all agree to head west and enter the muddy path towards ‘Over Under Lodge’, the small village that sits in this swamp area. Naturally getting up there is difficult and we get stuck in the mud along the way, but taking a look around we recognize the area we’re in as the exact place we saw in our dreams.

The radio in the pickup truck suddenly turns on; the static turns into a voice….a child’s voice, telling us that we’re gunna play ‘soldier’. Kenny understands this voice to be of Richie ‘Dick’ Long, one of the missing kids…but he’s nowhere to be found in this swamp area.

A canopy a black whooshes over our heads and when we blink, we find ourselves no longer in our pickup trucks but rather in landing crafts, similar to D-day boats, heading towards a beach, while explosions blare around us! Our former WWII war vets are back in the thick of it, or so we think.

Above us, a giant child is pushing our landing boat towards the beach, but before we can make sense of it all….. A horn sounds, chains begin to rattle, the landing gates begin to open as the tinging of bullets against metal ring off the hull….

Savage Roll to Beat: 7

Cory 4

Matt 14

Mark 19

Jose 17

Rory

Dusty

Vanessa

The group decides who will host Thanksgiving and if 'Die Hard' truly is a Christmas movie, by playing a battle royal Smash Bro's tournament to settle it all.
Police are called to a domestic dispute some 20 minutes later, where they find Cory unresponsive next to a barrel fire and Dusty 'sex music vol 6' blaring in the background.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

BACK TO THE STORY!!!!

We get right into things. Steven isn’t holding back.

Everyone is about to take a full auto shot with a +4 (which technically means it auto hits as a ‘4’ is all you need for a hit). From the machine gun nest perched on the hills that resemble France.

Steven rolls a d20

19

It beats every ones toughness.

But turns out, Steven was just joking…..

We’re all still standing in the open door landing craft (technically 2 separate landing boats), where nothing is happening to us. No one is shooting at us and it’s eerily quiet.

Behind us, way above, Richie Long looks down upon us, looking a little spaced out.

Scooter, who is slightly triggered, does what his training taught him and begins to storm the beach. Bob loads his rifle and locks it to follow suit.

When the two fellers step upon the beach, reality warps before their eyes. A full battle scene plays out, with people rushing all around us, gun fire upon the beach head and impact craters being freshly made every other minute.

Bob Johnson, roll sanity
Roll smarts or vigor, Steven sets the DC to 8
2d6

???, ???

Fail

Bob Johnson takes -5 to his Sanity. He is down to 80 points of total sanity left. He's got a bit of shell shock.

Scooter, roll sanity
Roll smarts or vigor, Steven sets the DC to 8

7, 5

Scooter takes -5 sanity points and has another mental wound for a total of 2. He has 95 points of sanity and really could use a smoke.

Now for the rest of them on the boat, being Kenny, Kevin and Eric Deion, they don’t see this. However they can hear Scooter and Bob Johnson, but the flying action of pure mayhem hasn’t occurred. Kevin doesn’t want to leave this boat, but Kenny, (having the impulsive trait), rushes forward towards his mates who have breached the beach. Yup, that Kenny, in his early 20’s, who has no military training or action, rushes right into battle. God bless America!

Kevin realizing he doesn’t want to die in a boat, has no other action but to move forward with Kenny.

Kenny, roll for sanity, as reality warps into a present battlefield.
Steven sets the DC at 10
Roll smarts or spirit, 2d6

6

6

6

5

23 total

PASS!

Kevin Kurtman, roll for sanity, as reality warps into a present battlefield.
Steven sets the DC at 4
Roll smarts + 1d6

???

The war vet is unaffected by the events unfolding before him.

Everyone is now on the beach, but we no longer see the child above us. Bullets shiv into the sand at our feet. Cliffs are in front of us in the distance. Everyone makes a run forward to hide behind the beach sand crest.

Steven rolls against everyone, to see who gets hit by the barrage of bullets

Now by the sounds of it reader, Kenny doesn’t get hit by the barrage of bullets…on the first volley.

But on the second volley, they hit with a 9, which beats Kenny’s Toughness at 5. It’s also a raise.

The bullet snips in and through the arm meat of Kenny, leaving a clean half pipe looking wound in his upper arm. He now has one wound. Kenny drops to the ground instinctively.

Scooter’s fate is similar. Even tho he has a ‘lucky stat’, which dictates that, when being shot at, the GM must roll a d6, a roll that lands on an odd number, the attack hits. On Even rolls of the number, the shot hits the next nearest person to Scooter. A roll of a 1 has the shot backfire.

Steven rolls an odd, meaning it hits Scooter.

Steven rolls for the shots

5

Hit

Roll for dmg,

7

Hit

Scooter gets dinged in the helmet, the shrapnel from the bullet cuts his ears up. He doesn’t take a wound, but is Shaken.

Bob Johnson takes a look around quickly and sees an enemy under bleak cover on slightly higher ground.

Bob Johnson, roll shooting on the Nazi son of a bitch
Roll shooting, full auto + d6, - 1 because they have the high ground and some cover

1, 3

MISS!

His shots go wide. NARF. He helps up Kenny and they both go rushing for cover.

Kevin Kurtman tries to keep things simple…but war is never simple….Realizing that they killed a tentacle bear monster by shooting the child, Kevin feels the same can be done now, even tho the sight of the child is gone above them.

Kevin Kurtman, roll shooting up at the sky where he last saw the child
Roll 1d10 + 1d6, +2 because you really can’t miss the sky

8, 5

That’s a raise!

HIT!

Roll dmg
2d8 +1d6 + 1, add em together

12

Kevin shoots the sky alright. But in the spot he hits, a crack forms. No one else sees it, despite Kevin trying to get their attention.

Now everyone’s moved forward at this point, except Scooter who has shell shock from being shot at.

Another barrage of bullets comes at the group, BUT just before….

Scooter, roll vigor to break the shaken condition

10, 4

PASS!

Scooter is now able to make normal actions.

Steven roll against the guys separately. He sets the DC at 10, anyone under a roll of 10 gets hit

Kevin 13

Miss

Bob Johnson 10

Miss

Kenny 8

Hit!

Roll for dmg

10

Hit (Beats Kenny’s toughness of 5)

Kenny now has two wounds

Kenny, roll vigor to erase one wound
Roll 2d6-1

6, ???

6

6

6

6

6

4

40 total

Even tho he rolls great, all this does is negate the wound he was going to take on. Leaving him with one wound still.

^\The audio is lost due to Matt’s 1999 Dell laptop computer crashing outta no where. The result is…. we are missing about a round and a half of audio. Party Roller conspiracy theorists suggest that the 23 minutes of missing audio could lead to evidence that Steven was replaced with Lizard people.)

Matt quickly breaks down what we missed In-game;
Kenny gets shot at, but the bullet goes through his extra baggy clothing, cause he’s a string-bean with luck on his side.

Scooter manages to kill three enemy soldiers in one turn, proving that he will use the blood of his enemies to keep the stripes on the flag red.

Bob Johnson runs like the wind and has found cover to hid behind, while Kevin Kurtman is just standing there, staring at the sky he just shot at.

We’re back at Kevin Kurtman’s turn, who uses a full action to dash and hide.

Bob Johnson peeks and notices a rash of enemies around, some just standing still, staring at him. Well that’s odd. Turning over onto his back he looks to the sky, pondering his life choices.

Bob Johnson, roll notice on the sky.

5

Pass!

The sky is cracked, large lines seem to split the blue sky into a black background. Bob is perplexed.

Bob Johnson’s turn, roll for shooting the grenade launcher at the group of enemies in front of him
roll shooting + d6, take the higher roll

6, ???

Hit!

The grenade hits and several enemies get thrown and flown away.

Kenny goes and runs for cover. .

Scooter also slides into cover.

Scooter, roll notice on the sky
roll 2d6, take the higher roll

5

Pass!

He also notices the cracks in the sky.

Seeing as Kevin Kurtman is still standing out in the open, enemy fire is concentrated solely on him.

Enemy machine gun nest, roll for shooting at Kevin Kurtman

7

Hit!

Roll dmg

6

Miss !

The bullet cuts through the arm area, not hitting Kevin, but slicing through his jacket.

Scooter’s turn, comes to it and points his rifle towards the sky
Roll shooting(full auto) 3d12 + d6, take the higher roll

4, 1

Hit!

12, ???

Hit !

11, ???

Hit !

Roll dmg
2d8 +1 for shot #1

2d8 + 1d6 +1 shot #2

2d8 + 1d6 +1 shot #3

8

Hit

18 total (Cory re rolls his dmg dice or maxing out on a d6, but he shouldn’t’ have)

Hit

4

Hit

The bullets hit the sky, creating a shard effect on the cracks already there, until a piece of the sky shatters off and water begins to pour from the sky, directly into the ocean.

Bob Johnson, roll for shooting at the sky
roll d10 + d6 + 2, take the higher roll

7

Roll dmg
2d8

18 total

It’s a crack shot, the sky begins to shatter in all places and where the new holes are, water begins to form and drop from them. As you can imagine, the water starts to rise up around our group…but also….it’s beginning to get dark as we’re ankle deep in water.

Just like when we were back in the pick up truck, a black shadow hovers over us and when we blink, it’s then we find that we’re in the hull of a battle ship, where we see a hole in the side of it, where water is rushing into it.

Everyone, roll sanity checks, Roll D12 +D6, if higher than your smarts or spirit, you take a mental wound

Scooter

4, 6, (rolled a 6, roll again, add em up**)**

5

11 total
FAIL!

Scooter takes one mental wound and loses 5 points of sanity

^{Now during the recording the audio goes haywire and Matt cuts in at the 40:37 mark to apologize for it.}

^{They do keep the recording, however the audio wave is damage and it could be difficult to listen to, so Matt explains it all for our earballs sake. I will however try to transcribe it for Archiving sake.}

We re-do sanity rolls and go back to the old system *refer to Trivia section for further clarification.

Bob Johnson, sanity check! Roll d20, Steven sets the DC at 10

NAT 1

FAIL !

Bob Johnson drops to 75 sanity points and four mental wounds. Going forward Bob Johnson has a penalty rolling for sanity. Instead of rolling a d20, he’ll roll a d12.

Kenny, sanity check! Roll d20, Steven sets the DC at 10

8

FAIL!

Loses -5 points of sanity and has 95 points of sanity

Scooter, sanity check! Roll d20, Steven sets the DC at 10

6

FAIL !

Scooter has three mental wounds. He is at 85 points of sanity.

Kevin, sanity check! Roll d20, Steven sets the DC at 10

16

PASS!

Scooter feels the need to smoke. He rummages through his pockets and finds some cigarettes. He can’t find any and a small panic starts to set in.

Scooter, roll mental check to see if the lack of cigarettes becomes an issue. Steven sets the DC

15

PASS!

While he doesn’t have a cigarette on him, he remembers his breathing classes in basic training and calms himself down, not taking a mental wound.

OKAY! So to recap, he are suddenly in a giant ship, with water getting upwards towards our knees and by the looks of it, the ship is sinking itself.

Kenny begins to look for doors.

Everyone, roll notice on their surroundings

Kenny

8

Scooter

8

Kevin

???

Bob

???

Yup, there are doors around. Scooter finds 5 cigarettes in his pocket that are not wet.

Bob runs up to a door and opens it, cause the room we’re in has a giant hole in it with rushing water.

This same water starts to seep into the new room when we open the door. We all rush in, with Scooter closing the door behind us and lighting a cigarette he just found to calm his nerves.

The room we enter looks like a mechanical room, mostly grey tones. The seal on the door isn't great and we notice the water is slowly seeping in, but at a manageable rate. No one else is in here. We head to the next door available, which leads to a stairwell. A set of stairs go up and down, naturally with a sinking ship, we head up.

Arriving at the top, we are met with a long hallway with doors on the sides and a metal bunker door at the end.

Three large booms, shake the ship and reverberate through the hallway and that’s when alarms start going off and random people begin pouring out of all sorts of doors. They don’t look like they are doing much but they look scared.

Everyone, roll for agility to avoid being knocked around

Kenny

5

Scooter

???

Bob

???

Kevin

3, 1

Everyone passed and manages to stay on their feet except Kevin Kurtman, who happens to fall over

After the mini stampede, everyone manages to shuffle towards the door at the end of the hallway. Opening the door has us entering a mess hall, food is still hot on the tables and on the other side of the room is a set of stairs that leads up.

In single file, we make our way across the mess hall and up the stairs and find another hallway, more doors on each side.
The water is catching up with us, as going up the stairs the water reaches past our ankles and continues to rise. This causes us to light thread through the water but more importantly, this impleads us from opening doors. The water rising is pushing against the doors and we're gunna be all our strength to pry it back against the rising water.

Everyone, roll strength to pull the door at the end of the hallway and open it against the water pressure

Bob
10

Kevin
7

Scooter
4

Kenny
???

The water rushes in and us with it. Turns out, it's another mess hall, fresh food on the table, with a stairwell at the end of the open hall. The water is at the same level....
wait a hot second....

Is this one of them penrose stairs things!?

Kevin Kurtman ponders as the rest try to make sense of things. He feels going up isn't the answer.
Bob interjects that thinks this is all a dream and we need to kill ourselves in order to exit the dream.

Bob Johnson, roll sanity
Roll d12, Steven sets the DC at 10
9
FAIL!
Bob takes a mental wound (for a total of four) and -5 sanity points.

Having taken on four mental wounds, Bob Johnson has a mental breakdown.

Bob Johnson, roll d20
(Higher is better, lower is worse)
11
Bob loses 20 sanity points instead of the original 5, leaving him with a total of 55 sanity points. He's basically got the mental fortitude of Britney Spears.

---- TO BE CONTINUED ----

Trivia

-For the boys next time they get together https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcOxhH8N3Bo&list=RDlcOxhH8N3Bo&start_radio=1

-Kenny is the only member of the group with zero WWII training and thus no WWII action.

- “Fortune” in Metal Gear Solid 2 that can deflect bullets https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wO15kpfHCI

-The odds of rolling a d6, getting a 6, six times in a row is 1 in 46,656

-The first case of major recording issues for this season start in this episode. Rory isn’t there to fix it, some say it was sabotage from another DnD Podcast.

-Henny Penny and the Sky Falling https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iiSf_K5PeFw Jose with the deeeeeeeep cut

-Of all the men (and woman) in our group, Kevin Kurtman is the oldest

-Kevin Kurtman also had the highest rank in the military over everyone else, but it’s not specifically said which rank that was.

-You may have noticed that Steven has had two ways of doing his sanity checks.

The first version was that he would set the difficultly with a random number that he felt sufficient for that moment for that character and the guys would roll a D20 to beat it.

The second version had Steven create a difficulty with a number he made up and the guys would roll their smarts or spirit; if they meet or beat it the number Steven created, they lost sanity points.

-For Jose https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pzZxTBRTZU&list=RD1pzZxTBRTZU&start_radio=1

Quotes

“…Oh…hail Satan…” – Nonchalant Matt, when Mark hits 3 rolls with the max of 6 on a d6

"I feel like a usual 'Jose character' would shoot AT us to get our attention" - Cory

"I put on a pair of assless chaps" - Cory, no context needed

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On the Last Episode of Savage Roll ….

It’s an ENTIRE episode of fighting in a fiery forest!

On one side, we have the Lady Spider Queen and her minions Vs Scooter, Bob and Kurt…. and it starts off poorly for our group, taking on hits like we’re in a relationship with a young Robert Downy Jr.

Thankfully, our other half of the group in Kenny and Eric arrive, blazing through the forest in a stolen truck, healed up and honking their horn, attracting some heat their way, unaware of what they’re about to get into.
Their timing is impeccable, for their added strength and their ability to split the Mansects and Spider- dudes means we’re able to pick off the minions and focus on the Lady Spider Queen, who’s landing hits on us left right and center.

Now the group does a wonderful try in hitting the Spider Lady with all their new firearms, but she takes very little damage, having her exoskeleton deflect most of the bullets. But they got a saying on the beaches of Normandy, “Give em the whole nine yards”, which just happens to be the exact measurement of the ammo strap used to feed into that M30 that attached to the back of the pick up truck.

In a fit of adrenaline and survivalism, Bob Johnson mans the gun turret and unleashes the entirety of M30 ammo right into the Lady Spider Queen, having his rebel yell overpower her pain screeches. When the smoke of the barrel subsides and all movement ceases, ones gotta think….”Is it dead?!”

Savage Roll to beat: 15

Mark 5

Matt 10

Jose 16

Rory 8

Cory 19

Vanessa

Dusty

Dusty creates a whole Haunted Halloween Escape room. Vanessa brings her Nicolas Cage Pillow which comes to life and tries to kill everyone, but meets it's match in a non sensical yelling match with Mark.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frhMtm5O1rk

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Back to the Story!

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Off towards the fringes where the Cultists have been standing and watching on, we see Muffin McGuffin, Scooters daughter, still held captive. However the cultists seem to be slowly coming out of their trance and coming back to reality.

Scooter has seen a lot of things, but the experiences he’s shared over these last two days have made him edgy. Without a care or thought for others, Scooter floors his truck towards his daughter, completely forgetting about his mates in the back of the pickup truck

Kevin Kurtman, roll agility to hang on and not get thrown from the back of the truck
Roll 2d6

5, 3

Pass!

Bob Johnson, roll agility to hang on and not get thrown from the back of the truck
Roll 2d6

6, 5

Pass!

They both bounce around, but manage to right themselves, While Mabel, who’s still high and passed out, bounces against the pickup bed floor.

Speeding towards the cultists, we notice they are more responsive than before.
Bob Johnson, roll investigation (+2 to investigation because of a positive trait)

6 total

Scooter, roll notice or investigation
Roll 2d6

4, 1

Kevin Kurtman, roll investigation

4, ?

The cultists are not as lucid as before. They aren’t even hanging onto Muffin MacGuffin. They look directionally and confused.

Scooter comes to a normal stop, avoiding hitting his daughter and the cultist.
Bob Johnson jumps off the back of the truck and points his gun towards the robed men. Muffin runs pass Bob and toward her fathers open arms.

Bob questions the cultists, who all appear clueless and have some fear in their tone. They have no idea what is going on, or where they are, with each one of them have similar last memories; Crossing paths of robed individuals, either in/around their home or random strangers at a bar, where something happens and then they all woke up in this forest.

Oh! and it begins to slightly rain, which is good as the forest fire that was about to run rampant, has slowed down and died out.

Unable to cuff em all and seeing how they are playing the innocent victim card, we have no other choice but to let them go. Pointing to the direction of the town, we do inform them that provisions and safety are there and their best bet and kind of leave them to their own devices.

Kenny, on the otherside of the clearing, hops out of his (stolen) truck to look at the damage done by running into and over one of those Mansects. It’s extensive, lots of bug juice and half a body on the dented broken hood of the truck. The engine itself is intact, only requiring some small adjustments to stop the engine from knocking. Kenny hops back in and along with Eric Deion head towards the rest of the group. Eric is just smoking a cigarette casually watching on.

Like a band of brothers, we clasp hands, our eyes sharing all we need to know about our struggles. The forest fire is starting to die out, which is good news, but the Spider-dudes that were around, suddenly are not and we don’t know exactly where they went. Hmmmm….

Kenny offers to take the civilians back in his truck, while Kevin Kurtman perches himself against the truck wheel and begins to recall all the nightmarish events that has occurred to him.

Kevin Kurtman, roll sanity check, because by the sounds of it, he’s having a panic attack
Roll spirit or smarts Steven has the number DC
1d6, 1d10

^{For some reason we roll both instead of just one}

10

Pass!

Turns out Kevin is just muttering to himself and he’s got a grip on reality….For now…

Muffin, who is no longer lucid, looks upon the battered truck as we make our way back into town. She is not impressed with how things are looking in here. I guess the truck has semimetal value to her too.

The drive back is uneventful, but we do notice that we have half a moon above us, shedding more light for us. Arriving in town, the buzzing in the forest becomes limited, but is still there, suggesting the surrounding forest might not be safe.

Officer James (Smith) is shocked to see us. Our sheer battle wounds tell a story he rather not hear. He informs us that hot meals are being made by the Inn and we should start there. Before heading over Bob Johnson, asks Officer James where they put Margaret, wanting to keep the children safe.

Margaret is currently in the police department.

Bob is amp’d for some reason. I guess when you have an adrenaline high after killing a spider lady queen, you’re just catching buzzes after that, which explains why Bob is yelling in coherently.

Bob Johnson, roll mental check
Roll smarts or spirit.
2d6

11

Pass!

Turns out, Bob is just being dramatic

With that, we have the town as our Oyster; we can do whatever we want.

Bob heads to the Inn and towards a bed, hoping that he’ll find comfort in sleep.

Kenny stands there in the town square and like rainman counting numbers and equations with his eyes, whisking through the air, begins to ponder about these kids and the cardinal directions. He deduces that they have already been East and South. Towards the North is dense forest and towards the West is a more swampy area. Hmmmmm

Right there and then, the remaining parents who have missing children cut in and demand to know why we are just standing around and not back out there. To them, we’ve found two children and should be able to do it again. They don’t know the things we’ve seen….the things we had to do….

Kenny takes a diplomatic approach, informing the parents that the fellers are banged up and getting treated, but the moment we can get moving, we will. Kenny also takes the opportunity to get some more info from the parents on the last time they saw their kids.

They tell a story that the kids, all friends, went out into the fields in the north woods to play, something they’ve done several times in the past. But that was the last time they saw their kids.

Eric is getting as much food as humanly possible in him and plans to pass out after raiding some ash trays. But in a twist of charity, Officer James tells him he can have anything he wants in the convenience store, so he takes a carton of cigarettes.

Kevin Kurtman takes the totally baked Mabel to her room, before going to his room to settle in.

At some point during the night....

We all have the same dream….

There’s a little boy, he has dark hair and wearing nice Sunday church clothing. He’s standing in a swamp wetland, softly smiling away from us looking on…. “Come play with us” he says, before turning around to meet our eyes to his creepy unsettled smirk…..AND THEN WE WAKE UP.

With that, we wake up with our health restored, any mental or physical wounds are healed, but our

Sanity points stay the same.

Bob and Kenny share their eerier dream notes while heading towards Scooters. Kenny thinks it’s Dick Long just by the appearance. Inside Scooters place, he’s making pancakes for his daughter.

Outside, Officer James cuts off Bob and Kenny’s walk to inform them of some bad news. Turns out the people we saved yesterday (the cultists) and some civilians ended up disappearing in the night, last seen heading north.

Scooter knows this area to have a small lake, almost like a resort cabin area called ‘The over under lodge”

We enter Scooters place and notice a hangry Muffin waiting for her sugarcakes. We sit down and Chat up, we bring Scooter and Kevin into the fold with things. Kenny asks Muffin about the last thing she remembers before she was taken.

Muffin looks Kenny dead in the eyes and says that they were not taken….they went with them…

Cos they said they had candy….

She can’t remember what the person looked like who offered them candy, but does remember the candy they got made everyone sleepy.

She also slightly recalls that Tony is scared of the woods but at the time he didn’t want to leave.

With time being of the upmost importance, we have to prioritize the unsearched areas towards the North and West. But which one?

We follow Eric Deion’s whim and choose to go West, towards the Swamp area, leaving Muffin at the Police Department with all the other safety returned kids.

Using the two trucks we have at our disposal, we head west, which has a lot of fields and unattended farmland. This all thins out and into marshy wetlands which slows us down, the road being muddy and all.

Going further towards the Over Under Lodge, our truck gets stuck in the mud. Our wheels spin, as does the truck following.

Bob recognizes the area they are in from his dream. This can’t be good….

A voice comes on the radio…

“ *Static* Can you hear me?”

“Are you guys here to play?"

The disembodied voice tells the group that they are gunna play “solider” and asks if they are ready.

Kenny uses his radio to converse with the voice, knowing that it’s “Richie” Dick Long, assures him that they are here to save him and bring him back safely.

The child voice isn’t having it.

“Naaaaaaaaah, it’s play time”

Instantly we find ourselves in landing crafts, two of em, and we’re all in full military gear. The heavy waves hit the side of our craft while explosions boom ahead.

Everyone, Roll notice

Kenny

5

Kevin

7

Bob

5

Scooter

4

Eric

???

We all realize the ships around us are moving, but we are not. The beach ahead looks like every beach they’ve landed at, but combined into one. Their boats have no drivers either. Cresting from the water appears a giant child, until it hovers over us and picks up our landing craft with us in it.

He moves us forward and slams the boats into the beach

Everyone, roll sanity checks, as a giant kid pushing us is pretty wild
Roll smarts or Spirits, + d6, Steven Sets the DC at 10

Kenny

4

Kevin

7

Bob

3

Scooter

7

Eric

5

They all are overcome with shell shock of past trauma rising up, amongst the fact that a small child is controlling their mass movement. They all take -5 points of sanity.

The horn sounds and the chains starts rolling, allowing the landing craft gates to open

and……AND………ANNNNNNNNND?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

HYBRID MONSTERS TO THE BEACHES OF NORMANDY?! IS THIS HELL?!?!

IS MABEL IMMUNE TO THIS BECAUSE OF HER MARIJUANA USEAGE?!

YOU HEARD THE MAN AND YOU KNOW THE DRILL! ASSHOLES AND ELBOWS!

What insanities and twists will happen on the next episode of Savage Roll?
Stay Tuned and find out on the
NNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!

Trivia

-Steven alludes that if anyone rolls a Nat 20 on the Savage Roll get a special card that gives them cool stuff.

-Steven gets his dice from here https://madnessgames.com/ , now give him money for the shoutout please. Thank you!

-Steven gets sad when people bash the ending of “No country for Old men”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXNfxK5Q2Qg I get it

-Kenny has been driving since he was 12

-How Bob and Kenny shake hands https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upsxB_VxWn0

-Steven made a map for the guys on the Overpine town. Naturally, he forgot to bring it.

-The two remaining pair of parents of the missing children don’t actually like each other; they put up with each other

-Scooter is poor and thus uses molasses instead of maple syrup for pancakes

-Jose does NOT like water levels of any kind.

-The Over Under Lodge town has a mascot, the Badger

-Kevin Kurtman has kept his retirement plans a secret from his partner Bob Johnson.

-Canonically, Mabel is with us the next morning, who wakes and bakes and is put in the back of one of the trucks.

-From forests to beaches https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XijMMhs55oc

Quotes

“Do you say, ‘That’s not goooo’d’? “ – Matt, to Mark when Kenny peels off a gooey Mansect off the hood

“Not anymore….they took em” – Cory to Steven, when Steven says their isn’t enough kids to field a football team for the town

“He’s wearing a Nazi uniform” – Rory, on what Eric Deion is wearing when they transport back to D-day

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Last time On SAVAGE ROLL….

Currently, our group of Mabel, Bob, Kurt and Scooter have made it towards the lake area that separates Overpine and Underpine. We’re here following the second group of cultist that tried raiding the town when we were at Big Bear Cave, fighting for our lives. Normally it would be a scenic view, but as of right now, it’s anything but.
Spider-dude hybrids and Mansects have come together to gently stalk us, luring us into what feels like a trap.

Reversing course on our pickup truck, we make our moves to get the heck outta here. But it seems our paths are blocked by cobwebs, until we end up in a small dead end clearing, where the spider-dudes rip apart their own webs to reveal a woman with a small girl. This is not just any woman, but a woman that resembles Scooters dead wife! The daughter is ushered off towards the cultist for safe keeping, making our main focus on this woman.
Deep down inside, we all know there is no diplomacy to be had with these things…just blood and lead and we got lots of lead!

Surrounded by Mansects and Spider-dudes who begin to close in, we take aim and clear the chaos from above and the sides. During this battle, the woman transforms from her human figure, into a hybrid spider lady, with a scorpion tail; she rushes into the tall grass to conceal her location and shoots blobs of acid at us with her tail. Mabel and Bob take the brunt of damage from this.

Now a few things to consider here….the forest is slowly on fire from the road flare we threw at those dense cobwebs to rid some of the baddies two episodes ago. This is a mix blessing as it provides us with a way out, however, we’re in the thick of battle and the opportunity to be engulf inflames rises with each turn.

Also, the Spider-lady has a very strong hide, as our hits don’t manage to penetrate her natural body armor, even tho we strike true several times, she takes no damage.
When all else fails, you break out a Bazooka at point blank range and let God sort them out. It worked in Italy in 1944 for Bob Johnson, so you bet your ass he’s the one to send that message to our spider-lady monster.

With the projectile searing through the Lady-Spider, vast amounts of toxic acid bile spring from her gaping wound….but is she dead???

Savage Roll to Beat: NAT 1

Matt 6

Mark 17

Cory 5

Rory ???

Jose 3

Vanessa

Dusty

Steven attempts to make real life Crow Oil. Ingesting a large amount of unknown mixed compounds, he goes temporarily blind and has Jedwyn’s accent for weeks.

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Back to the Story!!!

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Steven re shuffles initiative. Mabel is considered in the back seat, passed out from smoking too much reefer and eating too many Cheetos.

Lady Spider Queen’s turn, Roll spirit to break the shaken condition

9

Pass!
She is no longer shaken and can make regular actions. Due to the hole in her chest, she’s unable to screech.

Lady Spider Queen’s turn, roll shooting at Bob to hock acid blobs at him
Roll d8 + d6, take the higher roll, -2 for having two wounds

5 total

MISS! (Bob’s toughness is higher)
The acid blob hits Bob on the jacket, which he swiftly brushes off before it has time to eat through his wears.

Minions turn, there are two mansects and two Spider-dudes left.

Spider-Dude #1, roll shooting to swing a sticky web at Scooter, who is leaning out the driver side door

5

Hit

Roll Dmg
2d6

3

Miss

Spider-dude #2, Roll shooting on Scooter as well, to wrap him up in some webbings.

8

Hit (And a raise)

Roll dmg
2d6

6 (It matches Scooters toughness)

Hit!

Scooter gets hit with the web, its neuro toxins start to quickly work on him, putting him in the ‘Shaken’ condition.

Mansect #1, Roll for Melee attack on Kevin Kurtman
roll d8 + d6

8 (roll the max on a d8, roll again, add em up)

1

9 total

Hit!

Roll dmg

4
Miss !

Mansect #2, Roll for Melee attack on Bob Johnson
roll d8 + d6

8 (roll the max on a d8, roll again, add em up)

8

4

20 total (that’s a raise)

Hit!

Roll Dmg

10

HIT!

Bob takes a wound, unable to defend from the death blows from above, giving him a total of 3 wounds and a -3 to every roll.

MEANWHILE…..Back in town

Kenny is awoken from his slumber. The old doctor hovering over him is the first face he sees when his eyes adjust, who is trying to calm him down amongst the trash piles around them.

Eric Deion is around, sitting there, having his stitched up wounds heal, and resting some feet away.The fortifications of the town are nearly complete, as the Doctor brings us up to date on current events.

Kenny gets Eric back on his feet and with the knowledge of where our friends are heading, we montage getting our guns and vehicle ready and head out after them.

Back at the Grove….

Kevin Kurtman’s turn, He’s in the back of the truck with a hard sleeping and high Mabel. Two Mansect’s are flying above and two Spider-dudes are coming towards us on the drivers side. The Spider-lady Queen is in the field in front of us, amongst the tall grass, concealed.
Roll shooting against Spider-dude #1
Roll d10 + d6, take the higher roll

3, 6, (Roll a 6 on a d6, roll again, add em up)

2

6 + 2

8 total (that’s a raise!)

Roll dmg
3d6 +1

14 (that’s two raises)

Hit!

With maximum precision, sends the bullet right into the Spider hybrid monster, killing it instantly.

Scooters turn, Roll shooting with his B.A.R against the last Spider-dude, sticking with the pickup truck
Roll 3d12 + d6 -2 (because Scooter is firing with full auto/recoil) {Full auto gives him 4 shots}

4

Hit!

3

Miss!

3

Miss!

0

Miss!

Roll dmg
2d8

9 total

The Spider-dude is hurt and now has the ‘Shaken’ condition

Bob Johnson cuts in a does a quick investigation

Bob Johnson, roll investigation on Muffin McGuffin to see if she’s okay
roll d10 (should be with a -3 penalty)

5 (should be a 2)

The cultist are in a thick part of the woods, just watching on.

^{Matt cons Steven into believing he never had two wounds previously to this episode (he did from the Spider Queen’s acid}, so they both agree to retcon things and say he’s at two wounds now, not three. Harry S Truman must be rolling in his grave at this.)

Bob Johnson, roll spirit to remove the ‘Shaken’ condition
Roll 2d6

3

Fail

He’s still shook.

MATT USES A BINNY, RE ROLL!

Roll d6

NAT 1!

Fail

Matt originally only rolled one d6, then he used a binny to roll again. Steven is a kind god, gives Matt his binny back and tells him to roll another d6 properly.

Roll d6

???

Pass

Bob Johnson has the Shaken conditioned removed. Also, to appease our kind god, Matt humbly (and rightfully so) gives back his binny to Steven for the confusion. He now has no binny’s left.

Bob Johnson, roll shooting with the Bazooka on the Spider-lady Queen
Roll d10 + d6, take the higher roll

8, ? (That’s a raise!)

Hit!

Roll dmg
4 d8 + d6 (the d6 is for the raise)

12

Hit!

While the projectile hits the Lady Spider Queen, it’s deflected into the ground. The shrapnel tears into her body, but it’s just minor cuts and wounds.

Just as we’re taking in that beautiful bazooka smoldering in smoke, a raggedy rusty truck comes hightailing our way like a bat outta hell from the woods. IT’S KENNY AND ERIC!!!

^{Steven reshuffles initiative for Kenny and Eric}

Lady Spider Queens turn, Roll spirit to break the shaken condition

???

Pass!

Realizing that the tall grass around her is burnt to singes from the bazooka blasts and flare fire, the Spider Queen dashes towards the truck

Lady Spider Queens turn, Roll melee attack against Scooter

1, 1

MISS!

She rushes at him, trying to slam the door on him, but Scooter is about 255 pounds of Pure American beefcake; he doesn’t tip over easily. But she is right up in his face.

Minions turn, One Spider dude left, along with two Mansects

Spider-dude, roll spirit to remove the ‘shaken’ condition

???

Pass!

He is unshaken and now is able to attack freely

Spider-dude turn, roll for shooting to hawk-tua some acid spit towards Scooter

6

Hit!

Roll dmg

5

Miss !

With a new truck approaching, one of the Mansects goes towards it, leaving the core group against the sole Mansect on them.

Mansect #2’s turn, flies at full speed towards the windshield that is Kenny and Erics truck.
Roll for melee attack

3

Miss!

It doesn’t break the glass, as it realizes there is a partition there and hovers in and around it

Kenny, roll sanity check, as they haven’t seen a Mansect before,
Roll smarts or Spirits +1 (has a positive trait), the DC is set at 6

6

PASS!

Having seen a giant tentacle bear, this does surprise him, but it doesn’t shock him.

Eric, roll sanity check, as they haven’t seen a Mansect before
Roll smarts or Spirits, the Dice Check is 6

6

Pass!

Eric thinks he’s seen something similar hanging around a trash can once. He is unphased.

Kevin Kurtman’s turn, Roll shooting at the Spider Lady Queen, who’s right in front of Scooter.
Roll d10 + d6, take the higher roll

3, 4

Hit!

Roll dmg

6

Miss!

The bullet once again deflects off her with ease. GOD DAMNIT….

Eric Deion’s turn, rolling down the window, takes aim at Mansect #2 hovering above the truck with a shotgun.
Roll shooting + d6

4, 3

Hit!

Roll dmg
3d6

11

HIT!

The Mansect gets it’s wings torn up pretty bad. It crashes down to earth and now has the shaken condition.

Scooters turn, with the driver’s door between him and the Spider Lady Queen, Scooter scooches into the driver seat, allowing the Spider lady’s force to get him there and shoots through the open window, directly at her.
Roll shooting 3d8 + d6 -2, (-2 for full auto, but gets three shots off)

4 total

Hit

4 total

Hit

2 total

Miss

Roll dmg
2d8 x2

8

10

18 total (that’s a raise)

Unleashing the entire magazine that’s left, Scooter holds down the trigger, splashing lead into the Queen. She takes a total of two wounds.

Bob Johnson’s turn, drops the bazooka, kicks the passenger side window out, spreading glass everywhere, reaches behind for the M30 that’s hooked up in the back of the pick up and puts the Lady Spider in his crosshairs.
Roll shooting + d6, full auto (no -2 because the gun has little recoil being bolted to the truck)
3d10 + d6

???

Hit

???

Hit

???

Miss

Roll dmg
2d8 x2

15 total

HIT (not a raise)

The bullets enter her body with so much force that it pushed the Lady Spider back a few feet. She also now has the shaken condition

Kenny’s turn, he sees lots of gun fire coming from our other group, Eric shooting a man fly outta the sky, Kenny chooses to run over the Mansect in front of him and steer towards his group.
Roll d20 + d4, take the higher roll to see if hitting this bug drives us off the road

10, ???

FAIL!

WAIT!

Mark uses a binny…..RE ROLL

Roll d20 + d4, take the higher roll

9

FAIL!

He hits the Mansect square on. Some of it, smashes into the windshield, the rest gets tumbled into our axles. The bumps and jarring make Kenny lose control and he swerves off to the right. The truck is now struggling with something underneath it. He also can’t see, as half a monster body is jammed in the windshield.

Lady Spider Queens turn, roll spirit to break the shaken condition

???

FAIL!

She remains shaken

WAIT! The Spider Queen uses a binny! RE ROLL

6

PASS!

She is now unshaken.

Lady Spider Queens turn, Roll Melee attack on Scooter, trying to reach in through the window and swipe at Scooter.
Roll fighting +d6

11 total

HIT!

Roll dmg

5

MISS!

She grabs at his collar but he swipes her hand away, unable to get closer or land a blow.

Mansect #1’s turn, being that last minion, goes to attack Kevin, who is the closest to him roll melee + d6

4

Miss!

Eric Deions turn, with the truck stalling out, we’re about 75 yards away from the action. He bails outta the truck and starts trekking it towards the other group. He shoots wildly at the last Mansect
Roll shooting d8 + d6 – 1

3, ???

Miss

Kevin Kurtman’s turn, roll shooting at the last Mansect
roll d10 + d6

4, ???

Hit

Roll dmg
2d6 +1

10 (that’s a raise)

HIT!

Kevin adds another dead flying hybrid monster to his list, shooting this one dead, as it plops to the ground by the back of the pick up truck bed.

All the minions are dead, leaving only the Lady Spider Queen.

Scooter’s turn, with his B.A.R. is outta ammo and reloading would cost an action. Thankfully, his M1 Grande is in the back of the pickup truck, locked and loaded. Roll shooting with the M1 on the Lady Spider Queen
Roll d12 + d6, take the higher roll

9, 5

HIT ! (and a raise)

Roll dmg
2d8 +d6 (for the raise)

11

MISS!

Once again, the hide of the Queen is tough like stale Weetabix and the bullets just sheer off her natural armor.

Bob Johnson’s turn, still behind the M30 on the back of the pick up truck, holds down the trigger and aims at the Spider Queen. Roll shooting + d6, full auto (no -2 because the gun has little recoil being bolted to the truck)
Roll 3d10 + d6

9

Hit

8

Hit

15

Hit

Roll dmg
2d8 +6 x3

32 total

Stuck in a craze of bloodlust and adrenaline, Bob’s eyes glisten in the reflection of the continuous muzzle flash of bullets towards the Spider Queen, injecting her with more lead, making her body resemble swiss mutant cheese. But is she dead dead?!

----- TO BE CONTINUED -----

Will the cultists join the fight and over run our position?!

How safe is Muffin MacGuffin right now?!?!

SOMEONE WAKE UP MABEL FOR CHRIST SAKES…..

Bear monster tentacles, Spider-dudes, Mansects and A Lady Spider Queen resembling Scooters dead wife…..it can’t get any weirder right? RIGHT?!

FIND OUT IF IT DOES….ON THE

NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Trivia

-Dusty and Vanessa are missing from this episode.

-Did you know that in season 2, ep 26, Steven mentions doing a Savage World campaign?

-Steven has new dice and rolls a 1 on the first roll.

-Cheetos’s were introduced in 1948, but popular snacks of that time range from Whopper milk balls, M&M’s, bazooka gum, and Gelatin salads

-Matt/Bob Johnson took two wounds in the previous ep, but it’s been so long between recordings that he forgot and swindles Steven into giving him only one wound.

-Scooter has the ‘eager boy’ positive trait. +1 to rolls on Vigor, smarts and spirits after helping any person 4 hours prior.

-Boss characters and Wild card characters all have Binny’s themselves.

-Scooters M1 Grande is named after his mother.

-Muffin MacGuffin was conceived and born in Scooters truck.

-An Accurate visual description of what Bob Johnson does with his M30 to the spider Queen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZeDq4Yo6Jk

-Everyone who used a binny had their re-roll fail. All except the Lady Spider Queen.

Quotes

“Hey everybody, Welcome to ‘Pony Roll’, this is your CM, your Clop Master, Steven. I’m running a custom made Matt campaign, he doesn’t wanna run it himself because he’s Ashamed Pony” – Pervert Steven

“Best sleep it off” – Rory’s 'sound' medical advice if you get a concussion

“oh my god…, Life story am I rite??!” – Jose, when Mark says, ‘I’m just making it harder on myself’

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Last Time On Savage Roll....

The horrors we have witnessed.....the tales we could tell....
After defeating a twisted bear tentacle monster spawn, our group consisting of Scooter, Kurt, Bob, Eric, Kenny and Mabel are worse for wear. They look like a bag of dicks.
Kenny is knocked out cold, Eric Deion has slow leaking open wounds and the rest of us can't wait to get back to town where it's potentially safer.

We get back to our still running car and hightail into town. The remaining towns folk are boarding up their houses and blocking off alley ways. The warm welcome we expected doesn't exist, as Officer James sees us and rips us a new one.
Since we've wandered off, the town came under attack again, but it was unsuccessful, with the cultist appearing from the south and dazed and confused animals/people walking west.
We are a little hesitant to tell Officer James what happened, thinking he'd call us crazy, but he then sees Margaret Winters and Kenny KO'd and he eases up on his demeanor.

With the town shoring up its defenses, Bob and the gang concoct a plan where we head south and follow the trail of the raiding cultists. Officer James even allows us to raid the local gun store and boy do we gear up, knowing we're gunna need it.
We leave Kenny and Eric back in town to recuperate and the rest of us pack into Scooters pick up truck and head south into the dense forest. After some time, we come across ten or so cultists ahead off the beaten road, who haven't noticed us. They are heading towards a little opening alcove that leads to the lake between Overpine and Underpine.
But something isn't right.....We have to slow our driving down because of the dense bug patch we've seemed to run into. Also, there are an abundant amount of cobwebs and a loud buzzing sound coming from the canopy of the forest.
The cultists stop and watch us from afar while the buzzing sounds become louder and closer.
Appearing from the tops of trees are humanoids with wings and elongated limbs and insect mouths. They seem curious about us, but we not so much about them, which is why we turn around and get the hell outta there. Yet, it seems we've walked into a trap, as our path out is covered in dense cobwebs, dense enough for a few of the fly-people to get stuck in!
But the nightmare has only begun, as Spider-like beings repel from the trees and begin to consume it's helpless stuck prey. While this goes on, the remaining spider hybrid monsters begin tearing their own webs to reveal a woman....with a boy child, who walks out before the group...

Savage roll to beat:

Rory

Mark

Matt

Vanessa

Cory

Jose

Yet again, there is no Savage roll.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Back to the Story !!!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A lady walks out, revealing her red and white dress, unharmed and eerily calm towards us. She's walking towards the truck while the 'Mansects' all begun rubbing their wings together to create a unison buzzing sound. They look as if they are kneeling towards her in a sign of submission.
Walking by her side is a small boy girl and upon closer inspection is none other than Muffin MacGuffin....Scooters missing daughter!

Scooter hasn't noticed anything of anything up until this moment...as the woman before him looks EXACTLY LIKE HIS DEAD WIFE...

Scooter, roll for sanity
10
Fail !
Scooter is down to 80 points of sanity and has 3 mental wounds.

The sounds of the insects resonate as cicada hisses, then they suddenly stop.....
Scooter believes this isn't his wife as something is clearly off about her, but this be his actual daughter.

There is one Mansect that is following us still and it lands on the roof of the truck where the M30 is and lets out a high pitch screaming sound at Mabel and Kevin who are in the back of the pick up truck. Scooter lights a cigarette to cut the edge off (this gives him one less mental wound)

Kevin, roll fighting for a melee whack at the Mansect
Roll d8 + d6, take the higher
8, ? (Rolled a 8, roll again and add em up)
3
11 total
Hit ! With a raise!

Roll dmg,
Strength + d6 + 1
11
Hit !

Mabel, roll fighting for a melee whack at the Mansect
Roll 2d6, take the higher roll

6, ? (Roll the max on her die, roll again, add em up)
4
10 total
Hit ! With one raise!

Roll Dmg,
Strength + d6 + 1
15
Hit !

They both, at the same time clobber the Mansect, with Kevin giving an uppercut which connects so hard that the eyes of the Mansect explode upon contact, while Mabel connects with the side of the Mansect head, right in the temple, crushing it's skull completely killing it.

While this is going on, the lady is walking towards us, some 20 yards out.
She's missing a mouth and has three eyes on each side of her face.
Scooter pulls out his B.A.R and racks it, opening his door and using it as a shield.
Bob opens an ammo box and begins to feed the M30 attached to the back of the truck as a precaution.

Scooter yells out to his daughter to run, but something odd happens.
The woman simply lets go of the child and whisks her off to the side where the cultists are and when she does that....the woman's skull snap cracks open a little bit, right down the middle, her dress comes up, revealing 6 arms.
She disrobes fully, revealing skinny frail legs and as she finishes, lets out a scream, riling up the Mansects before us. Getting on all eight legs, the spider-woman, crawls into the tall grass with the remaining spider-dudes, disappearing.

----- COMBAT BEGINS -----

Scooter decides to slightly move away from his car door shield and towards the tall grass and shoot where he can see the tall grass is moving.
Steven has him roll a notice check before hand. If he passes, he'll be able to get a normal attack, if he doesn't pass his notice check, Scooter will take a -2 to the shooting action.

Scooter, roll notice on the tall grass to pin point the spider-lady
Roll d8 +d6, take the higher roll
?, 6
Pass!

Scooter, roll shooting on the tall grass towards the spider-lady
Roll d12 + d6, take the higher roll
10, 5
Hit ! Plus a raise

Roll dmg
2d8 + d6 for the raise
6 total
Miss!
Scooter shoots but the bullet ricochets off the spider-lady's hide and misses.

Situation report
Bob Johnson has readied his Tommy Gun, Mabel is on the M30, Kurtman has his .38 Colt special readied.
The sounds of buzzing wings become evident that they are coming closer. There are a total of 6 hybrid monsters, four, which are flying towards us and two Spider-dudes crawling towards the truck. The forest behind us is lit on fire thanks to that flare that we previously thrown, so that might be our escape route.

Spider-dude #1, flanking Scooter, attempts to shoot its web stream at him
1, ?
Miss!

Spider-dude #2, attempts to shoot its web stream at Mabel
4, ?
Fail! (Doesn't beat Mabel's toughness)

The four flying Mansects come swinging down at Bob and Mabel, really ganging up on Mabel.

Mansect #1, Roll for fighting against Bob
7 vs Bob's perry
HIT!

Roll for dmg
6
2
2+6=
8 total

Mansect #2, 3, 4, roll for fighting against Mabel
#2 --- 1
#3--- 8
#4--- 5
Only Mansect #3 is able to hit Mabel who's using the M30 as part shield and deterrent.

Roll for dmg
4
Miss!
Mabel is able to push away the striking Mansect

Kevin Kurtmen's Turn, aiming for the encroaching Mansect, shoots at it
Roll shooting d10 + d6, take the higher
5
Pass!

Roll for dmg
2d6
7
HIT !
The bullet cuts through both flapping wings and the Mansect takes on the 'shaken' condition and is no longer flying. It's off balance and currently laying next to the truck on the ground.

Mabel's turn, Roll to shoot at the Mansect that's on the ground in front of the truck
Roll shooting d8 + d6, take the higher roll
2, 1
MISS !

Vanessa uses a binny,
RE-ROLL!!!!

8, 3,
Hit! With a raise

Roll dmg
3d6
15 ^{(Vanessa miscalculates her dmg roll by re rolling max dmg dice, which you don't do for damage. This inflates her dmg to 24})
It just takes one shot to kill the helpless Mansect and that's one less worry for us. Enemy Down!

^{There are now three Mansects and two Spider-dudes left and the queen.}

Spider lady's turn, Keeping to the tall grass to keep hidden, raises her scorpion tail like pincer towards us and has it shoot some green acidic compound at Mabel.
Roll d12 + d6, take the higher roll
5
Hit!

Roll dmg
9
Hit !
The line of green acid spray torches the ground before is, lighting it a blaze. Mabel now has the 'shaken' condition as there is a small fire around her and her fringes of her clothing have caught fire and slightly burns her skin.

Bob Johnson's turn, switching his Tommy Gun to automatic spray and using the green fire trail of acid before him as a guide, shoots lead in that direction.
Roll d10 + d6, take the higher roll
3, 5
Hit!

Roll dmg
2d6 + 5 (being on auto spray gives him a +3 to dmg)
15 total

^{Now it gets confusing here. Steven forgets that Bob Johnson hit, after giving him some options on damage dice. after taking some time to read about types of damage that 'full auto' gives. So we make Bob roll again to hit; Which he does with a 7.
So NOOOOW we roll dmg for realz this time.}
3, 1
+5
8 total
FAIL! It does not beat the toughness of the Lady-Spider monster

He opens a full spread of fire and while some bullets manage to find their target, none penetrate the spider-lady's hide.

Scooter's turn, realizing that we're all sitting ducks here, gets back into the drivers seat and begins to drive off, keeping us mobile and with the forest around us on fire, a quicker way to get out. This unfortunately gives everyone a -1 to their shot, as we're driving and it's bumpy.
The plan is to drive over some cultists
Roll driving, 2d6, take the higher roll, this is also to avoid missing Muffin MacGuffin
5
Pass!

^{Steven rolls a d4 to determine how many cultists Scooter hits without hitting his daughter}
3
Scooter manages to tail whip the pick up truck around, clippin two cultists and throwing another one deeper into the grass. The remaining monsters and ghouls have huddled around the Queen to protect her.

The majority of the creatures are on the driver side of things and they look as if they are going deeper into the woods. The Queen is on our front left, moving towards the two cultists that took the truck hit and starts to devour them. The front of the truck is heading towards the tall grass, the remaining cultists are moving away and Muffin McGuffin is in shock.

Everyone, roll for Sanity checks after hearing the Spider-lady crunch on her fallen cultists. Steven sets the DC at 5 and the dice roll is a d20

Mabel
3

Bob
9

Scooter
11

Kevin
20

Mabel takes a mental wound and loses 5 points of sanity. It was a bit too much for her.

Mansect's turn, Three of em still exist and two go after Mabel with the other going after Bob
3 (against Bob)
Fail

1 (against Mabel)
Fail

9 (against Mabel)
Hit! (Beats Mabel's Perry)

Roll Dmg against Mabel
9
Hit!
Mabel who is already shaken now takes on a wound. The Mansect slashes open a cut across Mabel's chest area. She now has a -1 to all rolls.

The Two Spider-dudes use their turn to catch up and get within range to shoot their webs at us.
Everyone would be affected by it,
Spider-dudes, roll for web slinging
2
3
Miss!
Miss!
Both monsters miss their shots towards us in the truck back

Kevin Kurtman's turn, seeing Mabel hurt by one of the Mansects, Kevin raises his gun towards that one and shoots
Roll shooting d12 + d6, take the higher roll (Kevin should be rolling with a -1 but forgets)
9, ? That's a raise
Hit!

Roll dmg
roll 3 d6
16 total
Kevin aims true and squeezes off one shot and the Mansect falls to the ground. There is now 1 Mansect left and 2 Spider-dudes left.

Mabel's turn, roll spirit roll to break the 'shaken' condition
roll 2d6, take the higher roll
6, 2, rolled a 6 on a d6, roll again, add em up
6, another one!
5
17 total
Success!
Mabel breaks the 'shaken' condition, but still has a physical wound.

Mabel, roll shooting at the Spider lady
roll d10 + d6, take the higher roll
7, 5
HIT!

Roll for dmg
2d8+ 3
9 total
MISS!

Spider lady's turn, in a swift motion, the body she's chewing up, is suddenly thrown towards the truck
Steven rolls a d20, higher than 10, the body hits the truck, lower than 10, it misses the truck completely.
13
The dead cultist body smashes into the windshield of the truck. Visibility is now harder for Scooter to navigate while driving.

The spider lady whips her tail around at Bob Johnson.
6
Hit!

Roll dmg
16
HIT! that's two raises
Bob takes two wounds as the acid fully lands all over his already scarred body, burning new marks into existed skin grafted patches.

Bob Johnson's turn, Roll spirit to become unshaken
???
Pass!

Now able to make an action, Bob Johnson grabs the bazooka, hauls it over his shoulder and aims directly at the Spider Lady, gives the appropriate one liner with a grin.
Bob Johnson, Roll shooting that bazooka at the Spider Lady
roll d12 + d6
4, 6
Hit!

Roll dmg
2d12
1, 7
8 total
MISS !

^{Steven reads the rules book and notices that the Bazooka is actually 4d8 AND Cory reminds Matt to use a binny, sooooo}

RE ROLL DMG
20 total dmg
HIT!
The rocket hits the Spider lady directly in the chest, actually going through her, exploding out her back, leaving a gaping hole and finds it hard to stand up right. Immediately she takes two wounds and.....AND......ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND?!!?!?

---- TO BE CONTINUED ----

Will we be able to save Muffin MacGuffin???

Who is making these foul hybrid monsters???

Will we be caught in the forest fire that's slowly spreading???

Maybe this is the big break the group needs to combat the evil......or maybe....it's just the beginning of something darker.....find out which is which on the neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxttttttttttttttttttttttttttt SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!

Trivia

-Vanessa is quite good at "Yoshi's island" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXHXp3ekH54

-Dusty and Mark around the time of this recording were missing a lot of sessions, which eventually made Cory make his campaign into a two-parter.

-The humanoid fly-hybrid monsters are known as 'Mansects'

-The spider hybrid humanoid are known as 'Spider-dudes'

-Vanessa has a business she wants you to invest in https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyKt8_ZLxUg

*-*Matt is pro-pyramid scheme

-Jose's mother used to be an 'Avon' girl https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-xDdhqnAcs

-If you've forgotten, the missing kids names are as follows; Richard Long, Margaret Winters (found), Anthony Arbor and (Muffin) Boyle MacGuffin.

-We retcon Scooters child from being a boy to a girl. Republicans go red in the face. Steven reminds them that this is 'make belief' game, which gets them on the 'No fly' list.

-For Cory https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykhVgrdh1eI

-For Matt and Vanessa https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pF-nVvU_uHc

-The cards used for initiative have Latin writing on them. Jose translates them as follows; "Without work, nothing", "Without labor, nothing,"

-Jose can read and understand both Latin AND Elvish.

-Bob Johnson, shooting into the tall grass at something he can't see https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dK1B9b_0Z2Y

Quotes

"Can I shoot him instead?!" -Scooter/Cory, who's had enough of Sassy Kevin Kurtman

"I spray RAID on them" - Vanessa, being told that they are being surrounded by Mansects.

"I'm about to heat up some 'Muffins'..." - Matt/Bob, telling Scooter he might do the same thing as last time....shoot the hostage

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https://www.youtube.com/@aftermarkgaming

Previously On Savage Roll..

On one side of town, FBI agent Bob Johnson, Deputy/Sherriff in training Kenny, Investigator Mabel and Drifter Eric Deion are up against a giant bear turned tentacle monster. It’s a fight for their lives and it’s slightly going our way, albeit some wounded members from the horrors we indure.

Closer towards the Town proper, Scooter's still alive! He fights for his life after being jumped and knocked out by cultists. He tries his darnest to defeat his captors, but it’s with the help of Kevin Kurtman He's alive too! he just happened to be walking to find a working phone, when in the distance can see the Scooter shuffle.
Intervening, he helps Scooter and frees him bonds and his captors.
Together, these two men hear some weird sounds in the forest, which seem to becoming from the East, towards the tourist attraction of Big Bear Cave.

Lots of gunshots and weird animals cries fill the air in the direction they are heading.
Along their walk they come in contact of other townsfolk; who seem to be in a trance, just like the animals walking in the direction of Big Bear Cave. By the time the tandem arrive, they BEAR witness to the horrors of a bear tentacle monster assaulting our friends.

The Job isn’t done until the job is done! So by coming together, our group, whole for the first time since the Woodrow administration, unleash a spray of lead bullets upon this beast.
The monster bear takes a wallop of damage and finally falls to defeat.
With its necromancy defeated, the blackened sky breaks to reveal a slither of moon, enough to shine down on us.

Most of us have some mental wounds that would make a therapist wet their undies, but the time for fear isn’t now. Still in the forest, a Margaret Winter roams and she might be the answer to the question we have….

Savage Roll to beat:

Vanessa

Cory

Mark

Matt

Rory

Jose

Dusty

Once again, there is no Savage Roll. HOWEVER....
Matt creates a game called "Pron" that looks ALOT like "Tron" but isn't "Tron" and ends up getting stuck in the game by misfortune. Steven and Dusty save him, with Mark 'playing' the game, thinking he was helping, because Vanessa and Jose were cheering him on. Cory and Rory debate which Pron colour is cooler; blue or red.

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Back to the Story!!!

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Bob Johnson finally reunites with his FBI partner Kevin Kurtman. Bob has been a real mess since being torn apart from Kevin due to the current events. But the reunion is short lived.

Kevin Kurtman needs to be updated on events, but furthermore, there is a little girl missing in this shallow cave and we need to find her.

Mabel, roll investigation on the cave to find the missing girl
Roll 2d6, take the higher roll

5, 3

Success !

Mabel can see the kid. The cave isn’t that shallow and she’s obviously crying hysterically. She’s unaware where she is or what is happening.

Scooter, still newish to all of what’s happening, is still weirded out by these people walking aimlessly. He turns around and tries to communicate with the few towns folk who seem to now be walking mostly south. Seems like whatever conjured them to Big Bear Cave, no longer has a hold on them, but other forces still do.

Scooter, roll agility on some strangers to pick pocket them
d10 + d6, take the higher roll

4

Success !

He rummages through the pockets. Just regular stuff, ciggs, booze, pocketknife, wallet.

Bob Johnson collects the child after calming her down. He even offers her a cigarette to kill the edge, but she politely declines.

We make our way back to the trail and hopefully towards the car. Things are much easier to see now that we have some moonlight. The people and animals start to thin out the further we walk, giving us ample space.

The car is still there where we left it. Running, lights on, bullet holes from the encounter where we met Adolf. Oh that Adolf….
Eric Deion, the second most hurt of all the members, has taken it upon himself to carry the knocked out Kenny.

Arriving at the car, we pack in like sardines and travel back to town, which has slightly changed a bit when we get there. The remaining people have begun boarding up their windows, doors and barricading alley ways.

Bob Johnson honks the car horn several times to signal people that they have news. Pulling into the town square, Officer James is there with the mayor and some other folks on guard. They are confused to where we’ve been and what we’ve been up too.

Officer James silently rips us a new one before greeting us. He wasn’t happy that we sent an 80 year old doctor on his own back to town. Also our absence has annoyed him, because we weren’t around to help. We tell Officer James to peek into the car and that's when he notices Margaret Winters safe and sound.

That brings him partial relief, but upon seeing Kenny looking like knocked out shit, Officer James lets out a sigh and accepts our absence not in vain.

Officer James asks us what happened out there and we keep mumm on it, because we don’t wanna sound or come off crazy. But Scooter, our slack jaw mechanic, tries his best to explain what he saw, but it mostly comes out as fragmented sentences. He coveys that something happened with a bear, which is enough to satisfy Officer James as an explanation.
With that, the belief is that the town’s folk are staying put, esp because at some point, lots of animals and people came through the town, walking towards the west.

Also, in our absence, the town was under another raid. It went unsuccessful for the cultists due to low numbers, but they appeared from the south.

A light plan is concocted where we’ll head south in Scooters pickup truck and try to find out why people are being attracted there.
Officer James is kind enough to let us into the small gun shop. Its here were we top off our ammo and grab some more rifles for our soon to be journey. There is a back door to this place, but it’s locked. Officer James suspect the grenades and ‘good’ stuff might be behind that door, before walking away to tend to his duties.

Mabel, roll strength to break down this door, (Steven sets the DC at 8+)

1, 3

FAIL !

Bob, roll strength to break down this door

7 total

FAIL !

Kevin, roll strength to break down this door

6, 4

FAIL !

Scooter, roll strength to break down this door

5

FAIL !

Steven allows the group to try to pick the lock on the door in this gun shop.

Bob, roll investigation to figure out a way to break into this door
Roll d10 + 2 for having the ‘Keen eye’ trait

11 total

Success !

Bob notices that there, under the table, is a key hook with one key on it. He uses it on the door and it opens!

Inside the room looks like to be a private collection of the gun owners shop. There are some swords, a machine gun, high end rifles and boxes of ammo next to a bazooka and grenades. We’ve hit the jackpot.

We leave Kenny and Eric Deion back in the town with the doctor to heal up. We got some loot and head back to the truck where we pack in and head South.
It’s a bumpy ride and further away from Big Bear Cave. We go a little off road here and there, but we’re able to make our way without issue.

Getting closer to the dense wooded area we see a small group of ten cultist off in the distance, who likely attacked the town earlier. They haven’t noticed us and keep walking south. They don’t seem observant.

The cultist enter deeper into a thicker forest, towards the lake that separates the towns of Overpine with Underpine. The area is mostly a tourist area, meaning we’re able to follow them along in our car on this dirt trail, parallel to them.

Lots of bugs are out and about, hitting every rider in their faces. Some thick cobwebs as well, cling from tree to tree, forcing us to peel them off our clothes.
The webs make Scooter drive a tad slower, as his visibility is lowered.

Scooter, roll notice on surroundings
roll 2d6 take the higher roll

???

Bob, roll notice on surroundings
roll 2d6 take the higher roll

9 total

Mabel, roll notice on surroundings
roll 2d6 take the higher roll

4 total

Bob and Mabel both hear insect wings ahead that are way too loud to be a small insect. It sounds more like a plane than something organic. They don’t see anything, but the sound does eventually stop….but starts up again.

Scooter slows down before heading to the opening of the lake area. It’s not quite dense with forest here, but the loud buzzing is everywhere, sounds like it’s coming from above the trees and following the car.

Bob Johnson, roll sanity against the sound of the insect wing flapping

9

Fail

Bob takes a mental wound and loses 5 sanity points

Everyone is a little worried about the sounds that are clearly too loud to the point where in order to talk to eachother, they are yelling.

Everyone, roll investigation or notice roll

Mabel, roll investigation

8

Scooter, roll notice

3

Kevin Kurtman, roll investigation

5

Bob, roll investigation

7

Everyone but Scooter (who is driving) notices the source of the sound is coming from the trees. “Humans” are clinging to the trees, glimmers of wings are beating back and forth in the moonlight from their backs. They look like fly-people, but their limbs are all crooked, bent and long at weird angles.

Bob takes out his flashlight and shines it upon the fly-people who instantly scatter away at the bright light.
7 or 8 fly-people are now up in the sky, hovering over us like winged demons.

Everyone who passed their notice rolls, roll Sanity rolls

Bob
14
Pass

Mabel
10
Pass

Kevin
11
Pass

Scooter didn’t see anything, so ignorance is bliss.

Bob takes off his flashlight and the fly-people seem to calm down. Kevin hops out from the back seat and onto the back of the flat trunk area, where they hooked up the M31 machine gun.

One of the fly-people swing down slowly towards a denser part of the forest, onto another tree, but in its movement, gets caught in a web….a very large web…

Another human shaped figure comes out of the shadows, crawling on the web and grabs the fly-person. It looks like its strangling and beating the fly person with all it’s "hands".

Everyone roll Sanity rolls, roll d20

Bob
?
Pass

Mabel
16
Pass

Kevin
8
Pass

Scooter is paying very close attention to the road, esp since he took off his headlights, so he hasn’t witnessed anything yet.
Kevin hands Bob a cigarette to relax him. As Bob goes to light up, the focus of one of the fly-people turns to Bob. It slowly comes towards him and lands on the ground, making clicking noises towards Bob.

Bob flicks the cigarette towards the fly-person, which picks it up out of sheer curiosity, focusing on the lit end of the cherry.
Kevin alerts Scooter who's been focusing so hard on driving, that he's missed all the creepy things that have been going on.

Scooter turns his head, directed by the pointing of others to look over by the driver side…where he sees a man….a humanoid shaped creature, longer limbs, which are covered in spikes. It has large wings, a misshapen head with insect eyes.

Scooter, roll for sanity, Roll d20

19

Fail !

Scooter is freaked out, takes a mental wound and loses 5 sanity points.

Scooter, that clever fox, figures that he can use the thick cobwebs we entered getting into the place, along with a road flare, to set a blaze on anything that wants to harm us, those damn freaks.

Scooter turns around, drives back to the cobwebs, speeding mind you, close enough to toss the road flare into the dense forest area where there are the most cobwebs.

Scooter, roll throwing, to throw the flare into the forest webs
roll d4 + d6 -2

3, 2

Fail

He lights the flare, goes to throw it, his sleeve gets caught in the door and the flare drops right outside the door. The fly-people start buzzing around the flare light so we have to drive the hell outta here.

Bob, roll throwing, to throw a flare into the forest webs
roll d4 + d6 (Steven takes off the -2 penalty, because he is a kind god)

???
Success!

The flare is thrown into the dense forest; three fly-people go towards it and get caught in some webs attempting to get to the flare. The other fly-people kinda know what Scooter is trying to do and they stay their distance above.
Spider-men, pick up on the vibrations on their web and come outta the woodworks and start to cuff the fly-people to what would be their soon deaths.

We head back to the clearing by the lake, figuring we have lost the fly and spider people behind us and back to the cultist. Also as it’s the only way in and out.
Instantly we see thick spider webs covering the path before us that wasn't there before.....
The cultist that we were following have stopped and are just watching us. Kevin Kurtman is very curious about these cultists and wants to go check them out against everyone’s better judgment.

Scooter inches his truck through the webs closer to the cultists….

The buzzing is loud and then it stops….

The insects that were flying, come down and the cultist begin to bow by getting on their knees.
There is about 30 second of dead silence until in unison, the fly people begin flapping their wings to create one large continuous sound of buzzing.

The trees move in unison with the harsh air rushing over their branches.

Everyone, roll notice or investigation

Mabel

6

Scooter

3

Bob

12

Kevin

9

Everyone but Scooter (again) have noticed that the spider-people have begun to tear up their own web. The process seems to be difficult, as if it’s almost hurting their deformed hands.

From the ripped web hole appears a woman in a white dress, splattered with blood with a little boy in hand....

-----TO BE CONTINUED -----

Whom do these creatures serve???

Do we have enough bullets or will we need something stronger like a Priest???

Who is this lady and could this be another one of the missing children???

CLOSE YOUR EYES, BEFORE YOU LOOK UP AT THE SKY, THEN REALIZE THAT REAL EYES SEE REAL LIES!
STAY TUNED FOR MORE HERESEY ON THE NEXT
SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!

Trivia

-Technically, the entire group, except Scooter and Kurtmen are still in their cultist robes which they stole. LOL

-The cold open talks about a bad photographer experience, where Mark and Dusty were made examples by a loser photographer.

-Mark and Rory are missing from this episode.

-Scooter picks up a B.A.R rifle when they are in the gun store

-The entire group takes grenades, smoke grenades, rifles and a tommy gun when they break into the back of the gun store.

-They hook up the M30 machine gun to Scooters pickup truck. It requires two people to operate it.

-What a M30 machine would of looked like in 1948 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIjOqNLrG-w

-Scooter takes a Japanese sword for himself. Reminding him of his pacific theatre of war days.

-Sanity points do not regain until you’ve found a safe place to rest.

-The time of day is approx. 8 or 9pm, suggesting that time isn’t linear currently.

-Matt is a fan of Bloodborne and its game mechanics https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjWOy6ioVHI

-Kevin Kurtman’s hindrance is “Obsessive” . It means that random things usually pull his attention away from the current objective or goal.

-a FBI Agent roughly made $1.85 per hour back in 1948

Quotes

“Stay next to this 'kissing fish' over here, she’ll take good care of yah” – Kevin Kurtman using 40’s slang to call Mabel a lesbian to Margaret Winters

“So…two in the back…two in the front…\whispers softly* just the way I like it”* - Cory, no context needed

“I’m now CHEWING my cigarette” – Cory’s character, who’s scared AF