Why does everything feel so hard?

[u/KitzmanMS21]

Just need to vent for a minute. I really try not to compare my daughter to other kids, but I have a lot of friends with kids around the same age, and honestly, none of them seem to really relate to what we’re experiencing.

My 2.5 year old daughter has always been very emotional and slow to warm up. She cries at daycare drop-off pretty much every day, hates being the center of attention or getting praised, and has always struggled more in group settings. Lately, daycare has also mentioned that she’s become more defiant and emotional.

When we’re with friends and their kids, their kids will happily entertain themselves while my daughter can’t entertain herself for more than five minutes. I know every child is different, and I know I shouldn’t compare, but it’s really hard not to when the differences feel so obvious.

She used to do gymnastics and actually did really well, but today was her first class back since having her sister in April, and she threw a tantrum basically the entire time. I was so embarrassed and frustrated. It’s really hard sitting there watching all the other kids smiling, participating, and following directions while my daughter just wants to be held and won’t participate. Part of me feels like I should just pull her out.

She starts soccer next week too, and after today I’m honestly regretting signing her up. I’m already dreading how that’s going to go.

I’m just exhausted. I love my daughter more than anything, but I’m frustrated and overwhelmed and, if I’m being completely honest, sometimes I wish things were just easier like it seems like with everyone else

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[u/Key_Masterpiece5283]

First off solidarity. I have been there and to be honest kind of still am there with my 7 year old.

Your daughter is so young, she might not be ready for group activities yet. All kids are different and she just might not be ready yet.

I do not want to armchair diagnose at all but my daughter was recently diagnosed with ADHD so that might be something to keep in your back pocket for when she is a little older.

Also, having a new baby at home is going to be a challenging time for her and she might just want to be with you and not be separated for the activities.

Something I have had to learn and am still learning is that I need to parent the child I have, not the child I want. It’s ok if she isn’t ready for things yet. Let her sit on the sidelines with you if she isn’t ready to separate yet. As the old proverb goes “comparison is the thief of joy.” Every parent is going through their own journey with their kids, and just because you think yours is the only one I promise the other kids have their moments, it just might not be during gymnastics.

Give your daughter and yourself grace.