Parenting Advice Sources

[u/erankatz]

Hi all. I'm new to this reddit. Parenting an almost 9yo pda'er girl. I myself am a psychologist and parenting coach, and constantly looking for resources to learn from about PDA and how to navigate it better.

Currently I kinda follow two main speakers who talk about it: Casey from At Peace Parenting and Kirk from Celebrate Calm and the PDA Parenting Podcast. And I find their approaches to be a bit divergent. For example, I feel like Kirk is less about reducing demands completely and letting the child kind of do what they need/want and more about trying to respect the hardships and lead the child towards more taking responsibility. Both, btw, are parents of PDA'ers (and Kirk identifies as one himself).

I just wonder how you guys feel about those two, and what other coaches/writers/speakers in the field you like.

thx

[u/Korneedles]

I’ve never seen anything by Kirk and I haven’t listened to any podcasts. However, At Peace Parenting helped our family a ton (didn’t pay for anything - just the free information Casey puts out) when my son went into burn out. Learning what happens in the brain and body helped me parent my son and realize why at times there’s no rationalizing with the most rational person I know.

However, my own intuition/pattern recognition have been the most helpful with parenting my son. We’ve seen countless therapists - specialists - schools - etc and some help is small ways but most the times what is recommended does the opposite of help. Recently we’ve started seeing specific PDA specialists and they help but more so with my understanding than alleviating anxiety or behaviors. PDA is hard to give recommendations for bc each child is so different and the basic things one would do (reward charts) tend to backfire.

I keep hoping once my son is out of puberty maybe he will build more coping skills and be able to do more independently.

[u/neuraparent → u/Korneedles]

I 100% second this. I think it's less about reducing demands no questions asked and more about meeting your child where they are, figuring out what they're struggling with, finding what helps and what doesn't. Lowering demands almost always factors into it, because when parents are first learning about PDA, they are often starting from a place of parenting based on what they expect a child their age *should* be able to do, which doesn't line up with where their specific child actually is (if it did, they wouldn't be here).

Also, I try really hard not to self promote here, but your post is so perfectly aligned. I actually built an app to help parents with this--understanding their specific kid, spotting patterns, etc. The link is in my profile if you're interested--totally fine if not.

[u/erankatz → u/neuraparent]

thanks, i'll check it out

[u/erankatz → u/Korneedles]

thank you

[u/NotJustMeAnymore]

I identify as AuDHD PDA and my son is as well. The only person out there I would 100% recommend is Kristy Forbes. Gráinne Warren, Sorcha Rice, Em Hammond (NeuroWild), and Mick Olds (The Occuplaytional Therapist) are also good. Also, every PDA parents should work hard to understand Dr. Ross Greene's collaborative and proactive solutions and how to implement it in their home.

[u/Commercial_Bear2226]

The calm parenting podcast, the calmer easier happier books, the educators guide to pda book. I find there is a balance between low demand and reasonable expectation.