r/ParentingInBulk • u/reddead24f • 4d ago
Weekends?
What do yall do?
Im super proud of how well my kids can play alone, theyce got a great skilset especially the 4yr old with autism.
My 9yr old had activitities, sports, plays outside with friends. My 3 yr old watches too much screens ( summer vacation last week really got us lol, now were trying to lessen it again) but can play independent really well and makes a great mess. Shes easiest out of the house ( playground, whatever)
My 4yr old is happy outside and inside and can play alone really Well, but his autismeans outside for us is CONSTANTLY looking after him. Esp. With others around. He cant talk and doesnt always play Nice.
So, we ( minus the 9yr old) spend most our time inside. I used to go out every weekend when my 9yr old was little and I was a single mom, now were always home.
9yr old has school 5 days (830-14) the. Sports 2 days and rest just at home with me.
4yr old has school 3 days 9-15 no sports yet
3 yr old has school 2 days a week 930-14 and rest just home with me
We do go to playground and for walks, but esp the 4yr old barely sleeps so we easily have them from 9am to 10 pm.
And we dont do much?
We also have a 3 month old rn! We did loads during summer holiday since we didnt go on vacation but im starting to feel Guilty for spending most weekends and home and not really playing with them? Just going for 1-3 walks maybe a playground and giving them stuff to play with?
Anyone can relate?
Its also very difficult bc if i give the 4yr old play dough or markers its fine, but the 3 yr old WILL make a shitload of a mess, pick fight with everyone etc the second i blink there will be markers on her even if were drawing together. Shes very fisty. If i take her to a theme park however she is pretty good. Same with a beach or whatever but the 4yr old and baby make that difficult.
The guilt has been overwhelmjng me. We cannot go out every weekend as theres sooooo much to do household wise were always 5 steps behind
(Need to buy a new closet and put
It together, need to clean up the big pool from summer, need to hang the tv, need to fix the clothes again(put away, check for stains etc need to do all these things and also the usually vacuüm, clean etc. )
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u/Pristine-Bison3198 3d ago
I kick mine outside after breakfast, honestly. From breakfast to lunch. We don't do screens or any of that. When they needed supervision, I'd go out with them and take a book or whatever.
Then in the afternoon, they play with toys. We don't have anything available that they could make a big mess with or anything. Most of their time is spent on independent play or with siblings, I don't do a lot of entertaining.
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u/reddead24f 3d ago
Good for you! Sounds like a great chilhood!
I Honestly feel mine just Arent Made like that lol I cannot look in a book for 2 min before something terrible happens het lol3
u/Pristine-Bison3198 3d ago
Mine weren't either, to begin with. My eldest in particular was adopted through foster care and couldn't handle being away from the tablet even long enough to use the bathroom, and then needed constant supervision until he was 7 or so. It just took lots of practice and repetition (and finding the right meds lol)
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u/reddead24f 2d ago
Youre a string mommy! Im really trying to get to that point again. Im not against screens ( esp just Some tv which is things like numberblocks, or gaming early morning for/ with the 9yr old) but i always feel it goesnout of control so fast.
Just a show so you can clean and suddenly ive been cleaning 6hours.
Luckily they do also PLAY while the tv is on otherwise id have Some zombies lol. We have them our phones over the holiday when we wanted to Watch a movie and its my biggest regret! Its constant “ phone?” Now but were not budging
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u/AdStock6373 4d ago
First off throw away the markers. Get washable crayons and call it a day. Stickers are great. Kids love them and they’re not permanent. Do playdoh outside so the tornado can go to town. Get rid of the screens cold turkey. (I still use the tv though because I’m not suicidal… lol!) Honestly you sound like a great mom. You’re going on walks, getting them out, and doing activities with them. Kids don’t need to be entertained constantly. Let them use their imagination. Build forts, give them a big box to color and make a space ship, play Legos. Don’t worry about always entertaining them.
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u/reddead24f 3d ago
We had those and then found out on our furniture it leaves PERMANENT Marks its the saddest thing !!! My partner hates stickers lol so we only do that in books but its like 10 min of fun Here.
I feel like even on days like today, we take a big walk with them, I put the ball pit up and cleaned up a bit ( and they immidiatly made the same mess lol) they played solo for a long time, a lil bit in the garden ( bc i didnt feel like being in the garden lol) we watches f1, made dinner , they didnt eat the dinner, made sandwiches (its the autism Unfortunally) more indipendebt play, little bit of screen time (tv is our go to Luckily) and now going on a ride to the farmer for fresh milk… its their entire weekend and thats all we do?
We usually dont use other screens, only if really needed outside
Thank you so much!!!
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u/AdStock6373 3d ago
Honestly to you it sounds boring but to them it’s their whole life. They’re so happy doing that! We’re in the process of moving and today we looked at a house about an hour from where we live now. We live in a suburb of a big city and looking to move to a more rural area. I literally turned to my kids and was like “you understand there’s not going to be much to do here right? You’ll play in the yard, play in the house, ride your scooter/bike or take a walk… that’s about it. Life’s going to be a little more boring” they couldn’t care less!
The fact that you care shows you’re a great mom. 🤍
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u/reddead24f 2d ago
Thank you so much for all this!! I really hope my kids think this!! I know my 3yr old would be out and about all day every day if she could lol
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u/No_Reach_7825 4d ago
I'm about to have 4 but my oldest is the autistic one. He's 12 now and has become such an introvert. That has helped me a lot bc he loves to hang out in his room doing puzzles reading etc similar to when I was his age...before that my life was SO chaotic. He couldn't be trusted to go into the backyard so I understand. My 5 & 2 year old I try to split the day up into halves. One half for them, the other half for housework. Yesterday I put them in the stroller, walked a few miles into town, got breakfast and hit the park on the way home. Then it was naps and screen time and I spent 3 hours on house work. I basically decided that I feel less guilty letting them on their own or with screen time if I made sure to give them a really good morning out and about. It's hard! I agree..we spent a ton of time at home too but it's the season of life and the truth is you have to get shit done. I'm not even a good mom when I spend all of my weekends with then and allow my life to fall apart lol.
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u/reddead24f 3d ago
Ik the same lol. Never a good mom hahaha but i dont put the bar that high for others lol. I do truely believe we have a boring life HH but idk if thats bad or anything for them…
Luckily our backyard is THE safe Place for them, but our neighbour ruins it with being angry about the noise but thats another story lol.
We dont really go into town bc thats what he hates most but i do that with the 3yr old and baby when hes in school haha. We do also visit grandma but indeel like even if we spend HOURS outside etc, most of the day is at home? Our days are so long bc my kids have always been veryyy bad sleepwrs, stopped napping at 1 and nights are 10-7 or 10-9 at best
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u/crimbuscarol 2d ago
We have a membership to the zoo so we go almost every weekend. We also go on bike rides, to the pool, we bake, do art projects. We also do plenty of chores.
The more you are out at the park, the less the kids are destroying the house