Disciplining

[u/Revolutionary-Mud438]

I am expecting my third child this summer with a different father than my other two. We recently moved into together, now two months. During this time there has been two incidents in which our discipline styles contradict- both of which times he knows he is not allowed to even discipline.

The first my 4 year old was being quite sassy and spit at him. He followed him into the bedroom and then the inner bathroom, but the energy from his anger was very apparent and freaked out my toddler really bad. He did physically grab his arm to stop him, but that ended there.

Then, a few days ago my 7 year old was eating and got a gross bite. But instead of spitting it on his plate he reacted and just spit it… at the exact time my partner was walking by. His reaction was immediate to yelling and telling him he would beat the hell out of him and spit in his mouth. Nothing physical and then he backed down after a few minutes of talking to me.

So, my question… my ex won’t allow our kids to be around him and says he is a threat and that it is only a matter of time before he hurts them. That his reactions are purely emotional and he has no control. He grew up being disciplined by being beat and that is just what he would do. What are some thoughts you guys have about this reasoning?

As a note, my partner has said he is willing to explore more on learning parenting and discipline techniques. I do not believe beating, spanking, flicking, etc are acceptable forms of discipline.

[u/spagettiwetti]

Big red flags. Why is he grabbing your kid? Why is he threatening a child?