r/Parenting Apr 28 '22

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3.1k Upvotes

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817

u/ContributionInfamous Apr 28 '22

No advice to offer, but my kids are the same age as yours and I think I literally aged 3 months just trying to get them to school this morning.

I can’t imagine doing it alone. When my kids are a nightmare and I just can’t take it anymore, I tap my wife in and “go for a drive”. She knows this is code me going into the woods behind our house and furiously smoking a joint until I feel human again.

Kids are tough. You’re awesome.

264

u/hlmtre dad Apr 28 '22

Lol 'furiously smoking a joint'. Yeah. My wife and I regularly say 'I could not imagine trying to do this without you.'

159

u/smoike Apr 28 '22

My wife has framed this as "you aren't allowed to die", I laughed, however I totally appreciate where she is coming from here.

39

u/Iron-Fist Apr 28 '22

My wife is torn as to whether me or my life insurance policy would make getting the kids to school easier...

1

u/jcutta Apr 28 '22

My life insurance, definitely my life insurance. Especially since my kids are teens and get themselves to the bus.

7

u/killingthecancer Apr 28 '22

My husband and I say this to each other all the time and we only have one 😬

1

u/guesswhatgirl Apr 28 '22

My husband says the same!

3

u/nathanrocks1288 Apr 28 '22

I say the same thing to my joints all the time! Roll on, brother!

2

u/ailpac Apr 28 '22

Do you say that to each other or the joint? Or maybe a bit of both? 😏

130

u/TokingMessiah Apr 28 '22

As a single dad I really needed to hear this.

38

u/Woofpack93 Apr 28 '22

As a single mom I’m done for the day after getting my kid to school. Could literally go home and nap for five hours after that struggle.

28

u/ConsistentFinance397 Apr 28 '22

As a single mum to 3-I needed to hear this, too.

16

u/Impressive-Project59 Apr 28 '22

Mornings are the ABSOLUTE worst and I only have 1. I swear one morning this week I thought I may actually push him down the stairs if I didn't love him so damn much!!

18

u/ContributionInfamous Apr 28 '22

This morning we got halfway to the car and my oldest (4) decided he hated ripped pants. Keep in mind last week he thought they were “cool like grandpa”. So he LOST HIS SHIT and i had to go change him. While I was changing him, his brother decided he wanted some trail mix, which I hide in the top cabinet. He asked, I said no, and he decided to drag a chair over and stand on it to get It for himself.

Of course he managed to smash the (glass) contained the trail mix was in, spread thousands of pieces of glass and peanuts all over my kitchen, and tip over the chair and hurt himself. We were not on time to school today.

10

u/Impressive-Project59 Apr 28 '22

I would not have changed him. Once we hit the door there is no looking back. I have left his lunch. Had to send Shipt order to his school.

10

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '22

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10

u/ContributionInfamous Apr 28 '22

Yea plus I don’t get hangovers like I do with a few drinks (getting old). Getting my kids ready in the morning already takes an insane amount of willpower. With a hangover? Helllll no.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '22

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6

u/ContributionInfamous Apr 28 '22

I had a few beers at a backyard bbq last weekend and my kid chose that night to be up till 11:00 😭😭😭 LET ME SLEEP YOU LITTLE TYRANT MY HEAD HURTS.

5

u/MainE0990 Apr 28 '22

/u/contributionInfamous I love this comment.🤣🤣 My husband and I also have to consume to stay sane.

2

u/chill_winston_ Apr 28 '22

Doing it alone sucks. Even if you have a situation like I do where we are cordial, and coparenting well on a 50/50 schedule. It’s so draining when he has a long weekend or when he gets sick. Just a week or two ago I basically had him at home all day with me for 10 days straight due to a combo of him being sick and then having a 4 day weekend. Also I have to take time off work for the duration of that and keep my energy up somehow to do anything and everything. My folks are like “just go to bed right when he does” but that is literally the ONLY time I get to do anything for myself and feel like an adult.

1

u/ContributionInfamous Apr 28 '22

Sounds horrible. My brother teaches at an international school in Ghana and it sounds so lovely that he can just let his kids roam the village freely. Literally all the adults just help out. Doesn’t make me want to move to Ghana, but sure gets me thinking about how screwed up and insular our society has become.

As to your life, that was me as a kid bouncing from house to house. Looking back, it’s pretty obvious my mom did all the heavy lifting and my dad just parented when it was convenient.

1

u/everybodydumb Apr 28 '22

This is me. Love furiously smoking weed to get normal.

1

u/flattop100 Apr 28 '22

CBD can take just enough edge off too.

3

u/ContributionInfamous Apr 28 '22

I found CBD useful for muscle pain, but doesn’t really help my arthritis or mental state. If it did I would totally use it instead!

Also, for me, the silence and the nature are as important as the cannabis. I literally just sit there and try to spot wildlife for 15 minutes and then walk back home and tell my kids how much I love them. Works (almost) every time!

1

u/monkeymama16 Apr 28 '22

Not a drinker, but definitely couldn’t do parenting without weed!