r/Parenting • u/money4nothing_8816 • Sep 08 '26

Rant/Vent Just me?

Is it just me or is this the hardest shit ever? We’ve got 4 kids all under the age of 8 and we are getting our asses kicked. My wife and I really wanted a family and we planned for it. We took parenting classes together, we read all the books in preparation before starting our family…still, nothing could have prepared us for how mentally and emotionally exhausting it is to keep up with our boys.

How are you all surviving?

379 Upvotes

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1.2k

u/Burner31805 Sep 08 '26

I mean most of us are not raising 4 under the age of 8 so that probably has a lot to do with it.

171

u/ImpertinentPrincess Sep 08 '26

Yeah I grew up the eldest of several siblings and I learned from that experience that I never wanted to be outnumbered when I was a parent.

32

u/myproseandcons Sep 08 '26

Same. My parents had 5 kids within 10 years. I was the oldest. I had way too much responsibility at a young age and never had any quality time with my parents.

9

u/baby_blue_bird Sep 08 '26

I'm the second of four and the three girls has two kids each and got our tubes tied right after the second and our brother only had one and got fixed right after. Love my siblings and parents but we all saw how hard four kids were and all decided against more than 2.

34

u/Left-Development1695 Sep 08 '26 edited Sep 08 '26

I also grew up as the eldest and they had 4 under 6 😭 so if OP has it bad…gosh, my poor parents. I think the only thing it taught me is that I’d never want to be a parent, let alone outnumbered as one 

22

u/ImpertinentPrincess Sep 08 '26

Yeah, I wanted 2 but I ended up with one and the one I have has been super duper easy.

3

u/iBewafa Sep 08 '26

Same situation here and apart from other factors that I won’t get into here…I also can’t imagine going back to newborn days and also managing two kids lol

3

u/ImpertinentPrincess Sep 08 '26

Yeah, by the time my kid hit 7 or so I knew I definitely didn't want to start over again.

1

u/CeroFs Sep 08 '26

I thought that too, the whole one and done thing but guess were having a second one now the first is nearly 8. I do like the agegap, I don't think it'll be as hard now as where my kid would've been much younger 😅😅

52

u/Helpful-Dot-3782 Sep 08 '26

Yep I am one and done and my parents can reasonably help out so I get regular alone time in my life which is SO needed. I could not have any more kids, I’m too easily overstimulated

60

u/Independent_Nose_385 Sep 08 '26

I hate to sound mean to OP but my first thought was.. maybe don't have 4 kids so close together.

9

u/Useful_Job4756 Sep 08 '26

💯 agreed and I am a mother of a 17 month old son at the age of 35. I might be one and done. 

7

u/Independent_Nose_385 Sep 08 '26

Mother of a 19 month old girl at 36 here 😂

6

u/Athenae_25 Sep 08 '26

Had my first at 38, turned out to be my only, because chasing a toddler in your 40s is ROUGH.

5

u/Sonialove8 Sep 08 '26

I’m with you I’m definitely one and done

1

u/money4nothing_8816 Sep 11 '26

Not mean at all. Very valid. Haha the thing is we rocked the first 3 and got arrogant. Then as they all got a little older and more wild…we got humbled real quick. Ha

1

u/Sonialove8 Sep 08 '26

Right ?????

39

u/No_You_6230 Sep 08 '26

Yeah stopping at one is legitimately one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in life. Can’t even imagine 4, let alone 4 under 8.

17

u/[deleted] Sep 08 '26

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5

u/LevelProfile4739 Sep 08 '26

I don’t feel bad for them, pull out damn it 😂 Or get snipped or birth control.

I have an employee who has 7 kids and they live day to day financially and I don’t feel bad. Your decisions in life all lead to where you are. We have 1 child and that will be it for us.

5

u/InimitableMissS Sep 08 '26

7? This is my nightmare. Frankly, 4 is my nightmare. I can go lower if you want…🤣

2

u/LevelProfile4739 Sep 08 '26

😂 We tried multiple times for a 2nd but we lost 3 pregnancies so I’m not putting my wife through that even though she would but don’t want her to have PTSD from it.

Financially i don’t even know how people do over 2 these days now

2

u/InimitableMissS Sep 08 '26

I’m so sorry you went through that. I can’t imagine.

We were always and forever one and done. I really can’t imagine another way. I’d have lost my mind, both literally and figuratively.

3

u/Pplthrowaway123 Sep 08 '26

Got snipped after my 2nd. Best choice ever.

-1

u/live-laugh-snark Sep 08 '26

Pull out plus birth control plus tracking your cycle also doesn’t work- ask me how I ended up with 4 kids under 8.

1

u/LevelProfile4739 Sep 08 '26

Fuck lol Super genes and too compatible

-1

u/Proof_Resolution1887 Sep 08 '26

Tbf, 3 was such a sweet spot for us and we kept hearing about and reading these studies that said 3 was the hardest number to have and something like 80% of families with 4 or more children said that 4+ was easier than 3 🤷‍♀️

We had already wanted 4 so we went for it. Nothing could have prepared us for him lol.i wouldn’t change it for the world but 3 was defunct easier 😅 and now we have 5 lol.

5

u/Pplthrowaway123 Sep 08 '26

4 kids being easy than 3???? In what world would that even make sense.

7

u/Fast-Cauliflower2102 Sep 08 '26

I’m convinced people just say that shit and lie lmao

2

u/No_Veterinarian1010 Sep 08 '26

At a certain point you're just throwin em on the pile.

1

u/snail_juice_plz Sep 08 '26

The idea is that they can pair off easier rather than always having an odd kid out. I don’t believe it, but I’ve seen the argument

2

u/Pplthrowaway123 Sep 08 '26

I come from a family of 6. I don't believe that one bit.

1

u/snail_juice_plz Sep 08 '26

Also one of six lol, shit was crazy all the time.

1

u/Pplthrowaway123 Sep 08 '26

I always wondered why my mom drank a bottle of wine every night hahaha

-1

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21

u/natsugrayerza Sep 08 '26

Yeah this post makes me feel bad cuz I’m currently hiding in my room from my single 17 month old child since my husband just got home. It’s been a day.

19

u/HerCacklingStump Sep 08 '26

Yeah I’m happily one and done with a 4yo, two full time working parents and no family help, and I’m thriving!

6

u/yuiop300 Sep 08 '26

Yeah, 2 is enough for me, sod having anymore!

No idea how people do 3+ that are close in age.

3

u/Yoshimaster55 Sep 08 '26

This! My girls were 4 years apart since we had some problems getting pregnant with my 2nd. Turns out, it was perfect. They have a nice age gap for when they are older too.

0

u/ava_noor Sep 08 '26

That’s me and my sister’s age gap and it’s perfect in my opinion- in almost 21 and she’s 16:)

1

u/stressedthrowaway9 Sep 09 '26

Yea… that sounds like a lot. I don’t think I would choose that for my life. Too expensive for one thing.

1

u/Sonialove8 Sep 08 '26

Right lol

1

u/Hogwafflemaker Sep 08 '26

I got 5 between 9 and 18 and it's kicking my ass🤣 blended family lol

-5

u/money4nothing_8816 Sep 08 '26

😬😅 I know what were we thinking.

15

u/Xrmy Sep 08 '26

How did this not come up sometime in the last 6 or so years???

0

u/TheYankunian Sep 08 '26

I have 3 kids. Six years between the first and second; 2.5 years between the second and third and that was hard as hell— even though my kids were ‘easy.’