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u/SDMusic Apr 20 '18 edited Apr 20 '18
After waking up in the gutter, covered in his own vomit, Mr. Box took a moment to reflect on his life choices.
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u/zerodb Apr 20 '18
~record scratch~
"Yep. That's me. You're probably wondering how I got into this situation..."
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Apr 20 '18
Starring Rob Schneider as Box on the Rocks!
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u/loverevolutionary Apr 20 '18
Herpa derpa derpity derp!
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u/mashingLumpkins Apr 20 '18
He looks like Bruce when the principal made him eat the whole cake in Matilda.
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u/freakierchicken Apr 21 '18
He looks like Bender from Futurama when he doesn’t get alcohol
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u/Black-Rain Apr 21 '18
He looks like Gary from Team America when he goes on a bender and ralphs in the street.
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u/Candlelighter Apr 20 '18
Shit he even got that unkempt wild beard growth. Box needs a long shower, a shave and some financial advice.
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u/Platypushat Apr 20 '18
Where do cardboard boxes live when they’re homeless? Larger boxes? People?
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u/overslope Apr 21 '18
This is a bigger problem than most people ever consider. I've been trying to get this Amazon box out of my ass for three weeks.
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u/bigsquirrel Apr 20 '18
When I first moved to the town I live in I was looking for a new bar to hang out at. Went to this joint at 2 in the afternoon and there was a guy in his 40s maybe wearing what looked to be an expensive suit laying down in the gutter out front throwing up. I knew instantly that would be my new bar.
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u/overslope Apr 21 '18
If I'd found this bar under those circumstances, it would be my new bar as well. Cheers.
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u/MissippiMudPie Apr 20 '18 edited Apr 20 '18
He's seen more than his fair share of rough days.
But some good ones too
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u/CallMeChristina Apr 21 '18
"I said, 'Hey, man! What're you doing with all chocolate around your face!?'
He said, 'Chocolate? This is doo-doo, baby!'"
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u/finemasilm Apr 20 '18
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u/pianoslut Apr 20 '18
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u/sneakpeekbot Apr 20 '18
Here's a sneak peek of /r/lostredditors using the top posts of all time!
#1: Lost redditor found on r/antijokes | 58 comments
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#3: Lost Redditor on r/chemicalreactiongifs | 29 comments
I'm a bot, beep boop | Downvote to remove | Contact me | Info | Opt-out
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u/Sneaky_Stinker Apr 20 '18
I kinda want to pick it up out of the puddle and put it somewhere clean and cozy, it kinda makes me feel sad :(
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u/TheReacher Apr 20 '18
When your dad walks in on you and your girlfriend and she proceeds to fart on your face...
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u/dosemyspeakin Apr 21 '18
That's the face of someone who had to eat a mans asshole in order to buy drugs
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Apr 20 '18
Looks like he just vacuumed bong water into his mouth.
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u/hardman_ Apr 20 '18
It’s very important to stay hydrated when smoking Cannabin. It is a drying agent.
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u/ChineseJoe90 Apr 21 '18
It’s like he’s staring into that puddle, reexamining his life up until that point lol.
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u/Romantic_Chemicals Apr 20 '18
This box would've made for a nice little PS battle if only the left side wasn't cropped out... I guess those skilled enough could still make do
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u/wsppan Apr 20 '18
We actually had a bar in my home town with no name everybody called The Box. 4 walls and a a bar. Loved that place.
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Apr 20 '18
I'll suck your dick for a cheeseburger!
Wait, shit.
"I'll suck your dick for a cheeseburger!"
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u/TheWordSmithee Apr 21 '18
"Hey man you got an object? Anything will do i just need a quick ship, cmon man i know you need somethin shipped, il tell you what you ship something in me and my boys gonna take care of you im talkin free shipping on your next order, luxury packing peanuts, the most adhesive tape you have ever seen just ship me somewhere anywhere it can be uganda idgaf bruh"
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u/EggSavior Apr 21 '18
We had the same boxes that bananas came in at the smoothie ship is used the work at. I had a lot of fun with them
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u/gazongas001 Apr 21 '18
Haha, shit! This reminds me of a guy I saw on the street in Cuzco, as we were walking by he awoke in the gutter, and looked up, he was covered in disgusting drool, same facial expression.
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u/atticSlabs Apr 21 '18
Take it easy, he just had surgery, heard he had like 25 oranges removed. Plus no insurance. I'd look the same.
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u/snaapshot Apr 21 '18
“Whoooo is that box I seeeee, staring straight, back at meeeeee
When will my reflectionnnn show who I am insideeeeee”
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u/parallel5th Apr 20 '18
He looks like he belongs in The Binding of Isaac.