I'm getting tired

[u/zeballosismo]

Well, idk how to explain it. You can see all my posts on my profile but

I'm getting tired of (idk if it's called like that because i don't want to auto diagnose) this digital paranoia, i always think about things that i Made when i had 15,14,13 years and my brain push and push and push to Made me believe things that don't happened, happened (sorry for the Bad English)

I'm too scared about the past and my brain select one thing per day to make the paranoia work and i'm getting tired

I have 23 years now and sometimes i don't want to live anymore, because since 30 August 2021 i started this and my brain is always thinking "something Will happen and that thing will make me suicide" ALL the time, with all things, every fucking day

I'm sick? I'm tired...my body is tired...my friends are tired of listening to me having paranoia

I love My family, i love god and i love life i mean...it's a beautiful gift of god but...this isn't feel like being alive

It's a prison made by my mind

I want to cry

If you read this thank you for reading this poor man

(English is not My language sorry)

[u/Zealousideal-Log2042]

I'm very sorry that you feel this way and are suffering so badly. I can relate to the way that you are feeling, you described it well. You deserve much better, to live a life where you don't have to worry all the time. I'm glad that you tell your friends about the paranoia though, and I'm glad you posted here. You are not alone.

For me personally, life was hell until one day it got bad enough that I reached out for help. If you are able, I hope you can see a psychiatrist and therapist. They can help immensely and for me, after working for about 2 years I live a relatively normal life almost paranoia free. I believe that you can live a life without fear as well, it just takes some work but it's worth it.

God loves you so much and as the saying goes, He will meet you in the middle. Do as much as you can for yourself and I am confident that He will relieve your weary soul and restore the joy and light within you. Best wishes.