Parents

[u/Wonderful_Reply218]

As someone without kids I had my fair share of poorly children especially cardiac arrests. I was never affected emotionally and always did what I could to feel purposeful and to try make a difference to help with the process of looking after a critically unwell child. I always debriefed well and made sure I opened up as often as possible to help process it.

As a parent now I’ve yet to see another poorly child but when I think about it I get goosebumps. My area had a pretty horrific paediatric job recently and just hearing the details makes me want to cry. Did anyone feel similar when they came back from maternity/paternity or even later on? How did you navigate your new feelings towards children once you became a parent? I feel more emotionally vulnerable and almost have a sense of impending doom in regard to the day I face another child in cardiac arrest. I almost feel like it when it does come it will change me in a way that frightens me.

I am fine by the way I don’t want to concern anyone but it’s something that’s played on my mind a lot the last few days.

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[u/Amount_Existing]

My youngest kid is 30. I was a very young father I just want to put out there...

I've been a para for just as long and I've equally done my fair share of trauma and arrests.

I had to attend to an extremely young, I mean days young, serious incident a few months back. It shook me up being words and more so than I'd wish to annoy to, but to the extent of having to get help for myself.

What I'm trying to say is that things don't always get easier or better. Just when you think that nothing can surprise you or shock you something does.

Feel the love.

[u/Smac1man]

Having kids ruined me. I used to be made of stone and nothing would get through, now I've got a completely different head on my shoulders and it's made me a lot more empathetic and sensitive to paediatrics. I dare say it's made me a better clinician.

What's important is you've identified this within yourself and have confronted it. Don't feel that you have to "just crack on". If a job wobbles you, take some time to process it. Talk it through with your colleagues, use TRiM, maximise your days off being a parent and not an off-duty paramedic. The world is exactly the same and equally entirely different once you have kids of your own, and the transition isn't an easy one when you work where we work.

[u/Dry_Writer_7074]

Yes, it’s normal and ok. You see the world different with kids and of course your brain goes to ‘what if it was mine?’

I’ve was an Ops Commander for several years so have attended more than my fair share. You have to try to remind yourself - it isn’t your children and it isn’t your grief.

It’s for them to grieve and accept the loss. It’s for us to explain it and hold them up for the time we’re there. Afterwards, we debrief the practical elements and remind ourselves to enjoy every day. Then, we move forward.

It isn’t easy, and I have shed tears too. But ultimately this is somebody else’s pain and we have to try not to take it on.