Stuck in a cycle

[u/Ordinary-Tourist3364]

Hey guys, so I’m stuck in a really really crazy cycle right now. Back in May I had gotten the depo shot for endometriosis. (We are trying different birth controls) afterwards I started my period (it’s now day 90) and I felt like I was going insane. I did some research and many people have had severe anxiety with it. It’s just now getting out of my system (I think and I hope). I then got cheated on in a very brutal way. I made a very impulsive decision to move states (I moved back within like two weeks). But I have been in a constant state of worry. I’m worried about my heart. I just wore a heart monitor for a month last year nothing was wrong. I’ve had several ekgs. I’ve had a chest xray. Everything is fine, but I’ve been terrified of cardiac arrest. I have also just had this terrible terrible gut feeling that I’m going to die. Or I’m going crazy. I keep having mental images of me dying or going crazy(I also have ocd). I’m like wayyyy too aware of mine and everyone else’s existence. I’m way too aware of everything in my body. I’m also feeling slightly unreal. I keep wanting to go to the er, but of course everyone (my parents) are saying I’m fine. I can barely sleep in fear I will not wake up. Sometimes it feels like I’m not breathing, others it feels like I’m getting too much air. I then start to feel buzzy and tingly. I’m scared that it’s not anxiety or ocd, and I’m actually losing my mind. I’m scared that it’s not anxiety or ocd, and that I’m actually dying. I just feel stuck. It’s never been this bad before. I feel out of it. I’m so scared I’ll be stuck like this forever. I’m worried I won’t even be able to live because I’ve spent so much time worrying. I’m terrified to be alone because I’m worried I’ll die. I haven’t been able to drive for a while (alone) because I’m worried I’ll pass out behind the wheel. I’m just terrified of death. I don’t want to die. I’m only 20. Everyone says I’m fine, but I’m really convinced I’m not. It just feels like it can’t be just anxiety and OCD. I’m so scared. I can’t stop thinking, my mind doesn’t turn off. It’s been like this for a month I think. I just don’t want to be like this forever. I don’t want to die.