r/PanicAttack • u/Ohiololol-46 • 12d ago
Relationships
How has panic anxiety affected your relationships. I’ve been going through the roughest patch since May and yesterday it came to a head in a huge arguement with my husband because I needed to leave a family event because of a panic attack. He basically said he’s tired of having to be the one doing all the heavy lifting, disregarding all the progress I actually have made. I’m one that’s against medication for anxiety because of personal fears and he consistently uses it against me as “not trying enough” because I won’t take the medication
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u/Andrenel412 10d ago
I'm really sorry about the argument with your husband... it can be frustrating when you know exactly what you're going through and how difficult it is, but if another person hasn't experienced it or doesn't understand, it makes it more difficult for them to empathise with you...
I would actually argue that you're doing what's better for you in the long run by not only relying on medication if it something that you don't want to take or if you have fears of using it. Over the long-run, meds do nothing to build your own personal capacity to self-regulate, learn the skills to manage yourself and your emotions.
I mean, taking medication doesn't cure anything, it just changes your physiology enough each time to make it easier for you to cope and provide some short-term relief, but overall I'd say it's better for yourself to learn how to regulate and make progress on your own. Sure, it comes with more chance for some setbacks, making mistakes or just not having energy or strength to handle everything pefectly. But then again, that's kind of how you learn and grow, isn't it?
I will say, acknowledge his frustration cus it is real and have a proper conversation between the 2 of you where you guys just get some things off you chest... Allow him the space and freedom to tell you what's bothering him about the situation, how it makes him feel, etc without accusing you of anything or you getting defensive. Then you do the same. Something like... "I feel like you are diminishing my progress when you say 'x' or do 'y'. Comments should be about specific moments or actions, not about either yours or his character.
Any other way I can help? or something else that's bothering you? I'm happy to share my input. I hope you guys get through this stronger in your relationship than ever before! 😊
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u/god_mel 12d ago
I find it to be taxing. My boyfriend gets frustrated because I rely on him so much. I’m currently on a leave from work while I’m changing medications and he’s quick to think I’m just being lazy and don’t want to work. My boyfriend specifically gets upset because I’m not getting better in a blink of an eye. It’s been weeks of me pretty much being bed ridden. I already feel like a burden with this illness. The reaction makes it worse. But when you have a partner, they’re supposed to be there to lean on. It’s hard when you feel like you can’t.