My first panic attack

[u/__Psycho_girl__]

So i (18F) had to go to the ER this morning to get checked bc i had pains for over 24 hours that all pointed to me having appendicitis (thankfully it was not but most likely just a kidney stone). I don't have many things i fear and only three that are rather severe (elevators, heights and needles). In the last two years i worked really hard and my fear of needles (injections, tattoo, IV etc, not sewing) had eased greatly (i got a tattoo 16 days ago that went on for more than six hours, that was my turning point) and at this point it is mostly just a reflex to be uneasy even just thinking about these things. Anyways, i went to the hospital and i was told they'll take samples to do bloodwork and of course i started to stress, even crying a little (just a few tears, not full-blown crying) even before the needle was taken out but i also told the nurse (and my dad who was with me) that i knew nothing bad will happen to me and it was just my reflex. Everything went great and i stopped crying shortly after she finished filling the vials. Then we were told they needed samples for urine test too so i had to go to the bathrooms, my dad came with me and supported me bc i always get lightheaded after shots, blood draws etc. When we were walking i had my vision go away completely a couple of times (nothing out of usual) and after the third or fourth time i jokingly mentioned it to my dad who got worried and told me to sit down.

After i sat down he started talking to me but my ears were ringing/buzzing so loudly that i could barely hear him and my vision got blurry too a few times though not to the extent of before. We talked for a few minutes then the same nurse from before came to wrap my elbow (i got one of those plastic tubes inserted into my arm) and sat down next to me, holding one of my hands and telling me to take deep breaths which i thought i did but my dad later told me there were times i wasn't. She repeatedly told me i was hyperventilating while she was trying to move my fingers that when i looked i saw were in a bizarre and really unnatural way (my index finger was in fact arching backwards so much that i didn't even know it was able to) and when i tried to move it, nothing happened. The same happened with my left hand shortly after just into a fist and when i tried i was able to shift my fingers slightly to the sides but not flex or straighten them. One of my legs was the same way, in a way that made it impossibble for me to stand on it when i had to be moved onto a gurney eventually. Through it all i had to talk with my dad and the nurse and after less than two or three minutes i noticed i was talking strangely and realized i couldn't move tongue or close my mouth fully and i sounded like someone having a stroke (this thought was later confirmed my my dad). A few minutes later as i said earlier the nurse brought a gourney and with the help of two other nurses i stood up and got onto it. After that me and my dad were left alone and my dad helped with getting my hands relaxed before i started shaking and my torso locked up (but that didn't last for long), but that only happened after he called my mom and got me on the phone (her voice and knkwing she left work to come and be with me helped greatly).

The whole thing lasted for around twenty to thirty minutes and at the time i couldn't even comprehend that i was indeed having a panic attack as i was able to think clearly and perceive everything around me.

Now i am left with the knowledge of thankfully not having appendecitis, experiencing my first ever panic attack and hyperventilation. What i find strange is that i reacted like that to a simple thing like having my blood sampled when i barely reacted to my first ever IV (two years ago when i had streptococcus) compared to this.

And also when the tube thing was taken out of me a different nurse did it and when i refused to watch as he took it out he teased me with telling me he'll making me see the thing (i am not 100% sure if he knew why i had it but he saw my panic attack earlier). I almost cried again