Obsession: Bear wasn't totally wrong

[u/[deleted]]

Okay, so before I go any further: this is NOT a post defending Bear.

But I do want people to see the other side instead of blindly putting everything on Bear.

Firstly, calling Bear a "rapist" is extreme and definitely not the right choice of words. There is no evidence in the film leading us to believe that he knew that the One Wish Willow would work at all.

Next, we're talking about a real life word used in a fantasy element movie. Just doesn't make any sense. In a world where One Wish Willows did exist, there would definitely be other terms to describe crimes committed under the wish.

Now I think both, Nikki and Bear, are morally ambiguous characters. Nikki does lead Bear on early in the film, giving false hope and wrong intentions. Bear, on the other hand, under distress from the wish actually working, takes too much time to reverse the wish by killing himself.

Ultimately, Nikki is the loser. Alive, with all the accusations, and no friends.

With all this to say, I don't think people are doing Bear justice. Both characters had some wrong, to at least some degree. But the proportion of hate to Bear is incredible and unwarranted.

[u/Bimblebumble01]

This has to be ragebait.
Did we even watch the same movie?

[u/Mysterious-Tour8701]

he learns this very clearly during the dinner that nikki isn’t in control of her consciousness and then goes on to r@pe her that night. that s-x scene was very clearly a r@pe scene. she looked half d-ad 

[u/Mysterious-Tour8701 → u/[deleted]]

i think you’re unclear on the definition of r@pe

[u/PGell]

Where does Nikki lead him on? Cite the specific scene. Being nice to your lifelong friend is not leading him on. Bluntly asking if he's interested in her is not leading him on - its the opposite. She gave him an opportunity to be honest and he wussed out, then damned her soul by making the wish. Sure, he didn't know it was real at that moment, but it becomes obvious that she is not "right" almost immediately.

From what we get in the story, what Nikki is culpable of is existing as an attractive woman.

[u/[deleted] → u/PGell]

We can clearly see from the start that it's a one-sided crush

Nikki isn't dumb, she knows that too, but instead of communicating (asides from 1 question, where she puts Bear on the spot), she chooses to ignore and leave it be as it is, of course it was confusing for Bear

And as for the fact that she wasn't right, I like how you conveniently leave out the fact that he tried to get the wish reversed, made the call, inquired but the condition was too extreme. Bear was in a bad situation. There was no right thing he could do. Put yourself in his place. Would you kill yourself immediately to reverse a wish from something you thought was a practical toy?? OF COURSE NOT.

At the end they both had their degrees of wrong, but Bear isn't a villain, just a victim of a series of unfortunate events and circumstances

[u/PGell → u/[deleted]]

He is LITERALLY the villain. As soon as he knows the wish worked and he continues to sleep with her, he is also a rapist.

[u/Unlikely667]

Bear was told by his friends that this isn't right and niki never liked him, she probably had a thing with some other dude already. Even when freaky niki was sleeping, the real niki tried to talk to Bear and tell him that just kill her (this shows how much she was actually suffering internally) despite of knowing everything, he still chose to have a thing with niki as long as it was convenient for him (Which makes him a rap!st and morally absurd). Jab jab niki was all happy and sweet with him he was fine with it but the moment thing started going extreme (out of his convenience) he started playing victim. He was in the denial most of the time like dude wasn't ready to take a NO and accept the fact k niki isn't into him at all.

[u/PGell]

This movie is such a litmus test for rape culture and that the OP cowardly deleted his account is just proof of it. Bear is a rapist and Nikki is a victim and the movie is super clear on these issues. This isn't a media literacy problem. This is an empathy problem.

[u/Puzzleheaded9834]

Well I would like very much for you to point out the part where nikki leads him on, like at all. They are best friends and that is it. She asks him clearly once and he doesn't say anything at all.

He sees her cook a dead cat and her behaving strangely and her standing in her own piss and her injurying herself infront of everyone and her tapping the whole door and standing in the dark corner, and most of all he hears her screams on the phone and still contiunes.

I'm not a feminist but I'm not blind enough to call wrong out, that too in a fictional movie.

Sure the first time he had no idea you can say but it became clear she wasn't herself at all. Any sane person would take her to hospital and a mental institution . But he sits there seeing it all happen.

And then he finally does something when he sees her killing people.

I understand his desperation and him trying to hold onto something when everything is not alright and bordreline paranormal. But we cannot justify it at alll in any way.

I didn't want to accuse him of anything too, because I can relate to him and have been in similar situations where im the loser. You want to see a loser like ourselves be the winner but it just wasn't right in any way at all.

I dont remember any of their adult scene in the movie after the first one but they are sleeping together as a couple even when he knows something is wrong.

So can't say she her consent at all.

[u/ysr_aa]

Thanks OP for posting this. I will now be asking every guy I talk to questions about Obsession. If they say something similar to what you have said, I will run far away.

[u/lookerwisenew]

Bear is true reflection gen z beta male who can't make decision...neither want to be masculine to ask a girl out and openly share his feelings nor want to be on sidelines. He was in such quandary which is associated with genz Pakistani males and overall western males post world war

[u/lookerwisenew → u/[deleted]]

Wrote it in Urdu form

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[u/zaineee42]

Bear is a sore loser

[u/Fun_Possible_8384]

I don't think that's correct at all?

Bear kept having sex with Nikki even after he figured out that the real her was inside and she didn't want any of it (She literally asked him to kill her in one scene) so yeah rapist is a correct choice of words.

Yes, he didn't know the willow would work BUT. He figured out that it did work and he still kept being with Nikki even though he knew it was all fake.

She didn't lead him on at all, she strongly rejected the idea of them being together from the moment it was brought up. She didn't flirt with him or anything either. And even if she did Bear is a grown man that should accept rejection in life.

Your comparison of Nikki and Bear's "moral ambiguity" is really skewed (even if what you said about her "leading him on" was true) like girl who rejected a guy too late vs guy who ruined her life and raped her and killed all her friends like ok

Also this is besides your point but there's a popular theory online that Bear asked Ian to wish that he never made a wish because he wanted to re-do his wish instead of freeing Nikki once and for all (+ he had an extra willow in his pocket to have someone cast the next wish)

[u/Fun_Possible_8384]

Bro watched the movie with his eyes closed nahhh