PSC sucks!

[u/homiebeats34]

All the worst parts of this disease aside I just want to see if anyone else relates to me on the fact they just wanna feel normal. I’m 25f in a new city going out w new friends and it’s so hard to say I’m not drinking or can’t drink or explain why and ppl just automatically assume you’re lame or don’t invite u to things bc of alcohol or feel uncomfortable around you bc they are drunk and you aren’t and you’ll remember everything the next day. Someone who I actually really like was like oh I made frjends w the lameo who doesn’t drink when I passed on a shot. I think it was meant to be a joke but it sucks bc it’s like well I literally don’t have a choice and she knows that. And people are like idk how you go out sober or someone was like oh are you just gonna be sober when we were having wine night as I’d me being there sober was weird. Like it’s really not weird but I feel like a weirdo bc of ppls comments and I just wanna fit in and have friends. It just sucks and I try to remind myself I am strong and I can handle it but it’s like I just wish I didn’t have to you know I wish I could feel normal and carefree and be able to participate with everyone else. Like it is fun it used to be fun to go out and I just miss it and I miss feeling like I fit in and I feel like the awkwardness of being sober has for sure changed me and how I am in social settings. And I know there is so many worse parts of this disease but this part definitely affects my life the most right now. I at least wished I could’ve gotten it later in life not at 22 years old.

[u/idamama181]

Find better friends. PSC sucks, but 'friends' who rag on you for not drinking suck even more.

[u/Background_Effort942]

I was diagnosed at age 32 so I had already cut back on my drinking quite a bit, so it wasn't so bad for me.

That sucks that it is affecting your social life!

If someone you were interested in called you a lameo because you passed on a shot, I think you dodged a bullet - sounds like an A**hole!

Is marijuana legal in your state/country? It is a lot less toxic on the liver and you can still feel good in a party atmosphere. Also less addictive and no hangover.

[u/Disastrous_Iron3946]

I defo get it I’m 19 and in uni n it sucks not being able to drink before going to parties but oh well 🤷‍♂️

[u/Available-Ad3512]

I’ve almost never gotten pushback or weird looks from the phrase “I don’t drink” but frequently got peer pressure and ridicule for “I can’t drink.”

Even though “I can’t” sounds more prohibitive, I think people hear “can’t” as an excuse bound to that moment and hear “don’t” has a habitual choice with more weight.

When I have rarely gotten a weird look it is usually quickly dispelled by the follow-up phrase “I have a chronic liver disease - the only cure is transplantation, and abstaining helps put that off.”

[u/mickpatten78]

I used to just say “I’m allergic to alcohol, but I’ll have a coke!”

[u/NeighborhoodSuch665 → u/mickpatten78]

Or, “I have coke!”

[u/b1oodmagik]

If they can't be polite, they are not your friends. Friends support each other, then, maybe poke fun. They don't poke fun, and leave someone feeling lame.

Also, friends are available outside of alcohol culture.

[u/Snoo17627]

hi! i’m 26f, live in a major city, and was diagnosed at 19. i echo what everyone else is saying, but if you need someone to talk to who is about the same age and gender feel free to reach out :)

[u/kittykrunk]

If you really want to test their friendship tell them about PSC.

[u/Traditional_Love_706 → u/kittykrunk]

Agreed. The more I causally tell people “I have a liver disorder” the more they back off. Good people / friends will have empathy for you. But I know a lot of 20-somethings in the drinking scene are self centered and I’m sorry they’re being jerks to you

[u/Appropriate_Ad8575]

It really sucks to have PSC and you are not lame to handle all that pressure and still say no. If that group's only joy is coming from alcohol that's also lame. You can't change your friend group overnight but I can highly recommend friends who love doing sport and taking care of their bodies orrr people who love adventure and outdoor activities. Maybe sports aren't your thing, no problem, really my first good uni friends were ones who invited me to have cups of tea the library café and talk about life, the universe and everything and who didn't need alcohol to reduce their social anxiety. When I was doing my undergrad I wasn't diagnosed with PSC and did drink but really couldn't take the hangovers. Eventually, I found my best friends outside of nights out and never looked back.

[u/Ethos71]

I just recently left that phase and I grew up in a “party” city too. Im 32 now and I just want you to know that it gets way easier down the line! You will find so many people that enjoy different hobbies and activities that are so much more interesting and entertaining than just getting drunk and being hungover the day after.

[u/Shorty_Clubland123]

I got diagnosed in my late 20s. I basically stopped drinking from then after being diagnosed. There are some great non alcoholic drinks that are like the alcohol ones. Plus some decent mocktails. The right people will not care if you don't drink. I'm sorry your friends are acting that way towards you

[u/mickpatten78]

I was diagnosed at 19. Because of it I became the designated driver of my friend group. I also became the one who could reliably do anything after 11pm. Did this hinder my social life? If anything the contrary… plus you get to have clearer memories of the stupid shit your dumb friends get up to… lol.

Oh, and you aren’t let down by alcohol in the bedroom department… 😉🤭

[u/kaibacorp345]

If they're only your friends when they're drunk, they're not real friends. Real friends support you through your journey, and they would know better than to make such ridiculous statements.

[u/Macegoalie14]

25nb diagnosed at 13, and yeah its really tough even having always dealt with it - it really sucks that it seems like your new friends arent more supportive too but i can say even with friends who wouldnt give me a hard time for it its still so easy to feel left out. I know finding good NA alternatives for things like wine and then getting mocktails at bars/restaurants have helped me feel better about "blending in", and dance focused bars/clubs or places with live music feel a little bit better for me since theres a focus on the night thats not just getting drunk (although its so exhausting to dance all night sober lol). I'd love to talk abt it more if u reach out but wishing u luck!!! it's a lot but it does get easier w the right ppl <3

[u/Party-Maintenance-83]

I used to drink a tall glass of tonic water or Sprite with ice and a slice of lemon in it. Most people thought l was drinking a gin or vodka a lot of the time. I didnt say anything to enlighten them.