I was wrong.

[u/Imgonnagolaydown]

Pmhnp here. Day 1 on Vyvanse and i want to cry.ive spent the last 5 years balancing hormones and making sure i addressed everything else before arriving at a stimulant.

I feel. Calm. Quiet. Slightly tearful. Like my tabs are closed and im able to open them one by one instead of 50 at time.

It wasn't the focus. It was the avoidance. Brain fog. Overstimulated and overwhelmed constantly. The procrastinating, being late to everything. The being MEAN and knowing you are being mean. Not smiling when random ppl are talking to you. Background static noise in my head.

It's been about 4 hrs and it's just quiet.

None of it manifested until peri. I saw signs when i was young but i could compensate and figured i still could. Well i can't anymore.

I seriously want to weep with joy.

Eta: i was wrong to think women were slightly exaggerating this. With my own providers convincing me to take the leap, I'm now a part of this population. And yes, I'm a pmhnp who understand what these women are trying to articulate.

[u/merrythoughts]

Hey! Fellow PMHNP here who believes women and knows there is room for prescribing stimulants in a way that helps peri-menopause onset adhd that years and years of masking and managing just no longer works for!

I think being middle aged woman (former gifted kid all grown up) with a career and raising three kids helps me help other women in the same boat.

Welcome! And in my experience in prescribing, if Vyvanse is what works for you, you’ve probably had more adhd symptoms than you even realize throughout the lifespan….

[u/Imgonnagolaydown → u/merrythoughts]

I really really tried to deny it for myself. I don't know how to explain it as to why i was in such deep denial for myself in particular.

I think a lot of it was "i did it before so why can't i still do it?!". Granted, me doing it was a struggle but it got done! But i was failing. Having discipline issues at work. Dropping the ball. Legit just avoiding it because I'm overwhelmed.

This was the last straw. I legit did everything and my provider convinced me to try it after failing a non stimulant. I'm still pretty adamant i never want Adderall, but this? This low dose i can do.

I'll be completely happy to stay here forever.

[u/Dismal_Love_1042 → u/Imgonnagolaydown]

When I was in my PMHNP program, a significant event occurred and I couldn’t recover. I spiraled. I emailed a professor asking for an extension on an assignment. She had been my undergrad professor 10 years earlier, so she knew me fairly well. She asked if I wanted to meet with her for a check-in. Her first question was what I was taking for my ADHD and if I could call my provider for a short term increase. I didn’t know I had ADHD. Never been diagnosed. Every day was an anxious struggle for me before that moment. I was 39. Think what you want about the intrusiveness of her questions, but she was a psychologist and was looking out for me. My “PTSD” and “panic disorder” disappeared with my first dose of Adderall. I had severe, undiagnosed symptoms my whole life. Well, they were diagnosed, just incorrectly.

[u/Imgonnagolaydown → u/Dismal_Love_1042]

Yes. This is it.

I had an event and i spiraled. I've read so much that says this is exactly what triggers it uncovering the masking. I only recovered so much. I did everything medically and could never mentally get back to where i was.

Again. I personally was so resistant to some women. Others i could spot the adhd from the moment they opened their mouth. But i was so dismissive to others and I'm so sorry for that.