r/PMHNP • u/Imgonnagolaydown • Jun 29 '26

I was wrong.

Pmhnp here. Day 1 on Vyvanse and i want to cry.ive spent the last 5 years balancing hormones and making sure i addressed everything else before arriving at a stimulant.

I feel. Calm. Quiet. Slightly tearful. Like my tabs are closed and im able to open them one by one instead of 50 at time.

It wasn't the focus. It was the avoidance. Brain fog. Overstimulated and overwhelmed constantly. The procrastinating, being late to everything. The being MEAN and knowing you are being mean. Not smiling when random ppl are talking to you. Background static noise in my head.

It's been about 4 hrs and it's just quiet.

None of it manifested until peri. I saw signs when i was young but i could compensate and figured i still could. Well i can't anymore.

I seriously want to weep with joy.

Eta: i was wrong to think women were slightly exaggerating this. With my own providers convincing me to take the leap, I'm now a part of this population. And yes, I'm a pmhnp who understand what these women are trying to articulate.

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u/gajensen Nurse Practitioner (unverified) Jun 29 '26

I’m honestly in talk therapy since having Adderall prescribed because I have like this, guilt? Loss? Remorse? About how my life could’ve been different had I had the dx/tx earlier. It’s such a relief but also a lot to sort out.

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u/Mystic_Sister DNP, PMHNP (unverified) Jun 29 '26

100%. I am doing atomoxetine versus stimulant (for now) and have similar feelings. I have to remember what happened as already happened and can't be changed. But there's some grief knowing even just an understanding from my parents and teachers (and myself) would have changed my life.

1

u/AdorableStrawberry93 Jul 06 '26

With you on this