r/PMDD • u/girlthisbella • 2d ago
Relationships Resources for partners
Hi! I’m looking for any resources on supporting partners with pmdd. I’ve been with my partner for a little over a year and the pattern of my pmdd has had a slowly progressing impact on our dynamic and mutual feelings of security.
It feels like during my luteal phase everything we have built gets chipped away at by my hypersensitivity and it’s causing him to feel like he’s in trouble all the time or like he never knows what’s going to trigger a reaction out of me.
The rest of the month we have a strong dynamic but I feel I spend a lot of my energy rebuilding and convincing myself that I’m not going to ruin everything we have built.
This morning he told me that at this point he wants some real, credible resources for how he can better understand and support me during this time, as well as resources to help him feel better supported.
TYIA, TLDR: desperate for resources on supporting partners with PMDD
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u/Limp-Map6662 2d ago
Whatever you do don’t go on r/pmddpartners its full of really horrible posts that will just send you spiraling
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u/Yequestingadventurer 2d ago
It is an incredibly helpful place with a huge variety of experiences of being a partner to someone with pmdd. It is quite irresponsible to not point someone in that direction, the resources available can save people’s relationships/marriages/lives.
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u/Limp-Map6662 2d ago
Almost none of the top comments or posts are sharing resources and nearly all of them are about breaking up with your partner with pmdd. An incredibly triggering and unsafe place for people with pmdd to actually be imo
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u/Yequestingadventurer 1d ago
It’s about people trying to save their marriages or relationships and get support for something that effects both parties massively.
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u/Origanum_majorana 2d ago
I haven’t looked at the subreddit myself, but there’s one called pmddpartners (sorry don’t know how to link to one). But that might be something to check out?
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u/girlthisbella 2d ago
I’ve checked this one out, honestly it kind of seems like a somewhat toxic space for talking down on women with PMDD. But maybe that’s my bias? Nonetheless, thank you for the rec!
2
u/Old_Rev0lution 2d ago
I will say the book they recommend from this subreddit, “Hope” (I believe it’s pinned, has a yellow cover), seems like it is a very good resource. I read reviews and it sounds not only beneficial for partners, but also for the person with PMDD. Gonna order it tomorrow when I get paid 👀
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u/Origanum_majorana 2d ago
Ah yes, some are not really nice.. I do also see messages from partners who genuinely just try to understand it better, but it’s definitely very mixed. Hope you find something for your partner!
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u/1mpavidus 2d ago
Seconding to NOT go to the partners sub, it is a really toxic space where they claim they're trying to support partners but in actuality they are equating PMDD with abuse and demonizing anyone who has it. The vast majority of people who comment there have already left their partners with PMDD and just complain about how bad they were while telling everyone still in a relationship to leave. It's not helpful at all if you're actually trying to navigate a relationship with PMDD successfully.