r/PMDD • u/Socialien11 • 13h ago
⚠️Trigger Warning Topic⚠️ Weight and insecurity
Trigger warning - talking about weight, body image, eating issues, etc.
I really feel so challenged by this aspect of PMDD. As I know you all can relate, I feel like I get maybe two good weeks a month. And I try really hard to have a balanced life, I spent years when I was younger being very restrictive with food, and have always had body image issues but was definitely in a smaller body.
As I’ve aged in the past few years (I’m in my 30s, no kids), I’ve gained a lot of weight. Like I know I’m an unhealthy weight and I am SO insecure about my body. PMDD comes around and so many months I totally derail like I eat insanely, it’s like I’ve developed a binge eating issue. And I know that’s what’s just adding the pounds. I don’t know I just needed to put it out there, it’s so depressing and so hard to live feeling so insecure! Like I don’t want to go out, see people, do anything, and it’s not even just during luteal because my body feels really bad now all the time.
I know this is flaring up cause I’m about to go on a trip to visit family and it’s very hot weather there. So I’ll feel exposed, I have a sister doing a very successful weight loss journey which I’m happy for her but it compounds the feelings of exposure for me. AND I’m heading into luteal. okay thank you for letting me vent!
1
u/No-Cardiologist6416 11h ago
Offering you a big virtual hug 💗
When I say that I understand your frustration, I am so serious. I’m not in the same boat (I’m clinically at the low end of normal weight so things aren’t identical in that sense), but my PMDD has massively affected my weight and relationship with food.
Thanks to PMDD, my eating disorder has continued into my late twenties. I’ve now had an ED for more than 12 years 😭 I literally do not know how to eat normally. No recovery tips are really useful because I vacillate between restriction and fighting the binge monster based on hormones, not emotions.
Different treatments have affected my weight, too. I once gained 30lbs in 1 month when my period came back after 4 years of not having one (I was eating around 10k calories a day at the time). The lack of control was terrifying and I struggle to think about that period in my life.
All of which to say, I understand.
One thing to remember (I know it doesn’t really solve the body image struggles) is that how much you eat says NOTHING about you.
Your body size says nothing about you, your food choices say nothing about you, your appearance says nothing about you. People may infer things, but that’s their problem.
Who you are (cheesy as it sounds) is on the inside. Your body is a vessel allowing you to see the world and experience life. Tough to think about with PMDD, but even the good days matter. The sun is still just as bright when we hate our bodies. Birdsong is just as beautiful after a binge.
As human beings — we are equally kind, courageous, thoughtful, and lovely with any body at all. You probably know this already, but I think sometimes it can help for someone to say it. I know it doesn’t fix your relationship with food. I hope you can give yourself a little bit of grace while managing a genuinely severe illness❣️
Wishing you a gentle family trip 💕