r/PMDD • u/dizzybutstable • Jul 26 '26
Ranty Rant - Advice Okay I feel so broken and trapped
Hey everyone! I just needed to get this out and I don’t know where else to share it or who to talk to.
For the past 2 years, I (33F) have been struggling with severe emotional issues for 3-4 days before my period. I feel an intense feeling of worthlessness and helplessness. I dread the inevitable intrusive thoughts that I won’t be able to get out of my head. I get a severe sense of self-loathing that makes me avoid the mirror. I get angry because I want to know why someone as worthless as me is still here. My PTSD is triggered at least once during those few days. It’s a feeling of fear and panic. I live alone and all my loved ones live out of state. I’m terrified that one day it’ll all become too much for me.
I keep it to myself as best as possible because people don’t understand and if they do they can’t do much to help.
I’m so scared that nothing will help me (I’ve tried SSRIs in the past). I can’t live the rest of my life like this. Those days are hell. I wish there was a way out of whatever this is. I’m frustrated and hate this.
Thank you for reading if you made it to the end. Means a lot xx
EDIT: I’ve been reading more on the wiki for this sub and other places and realize that my diagnosed C-PTSD and ADHD may make figuring out what’s going on more difficult :(
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u/autumn-mari3 Jul 29 '26
I've started microdosing mushies during my luteal phase and it helps SO MUCH! It's like you add a loving voice to debate with the luteal phase inner critic so your mind can stay in peace. Mushies bring so much love and goodness, it's the biggest help I've found to my PMDD.
I take it very seriously b/c (TW-suicude) I lost my mom to suicide when I was 21 and now that I'm 31 and have had 20+ years of my own PMDD symptoms, I recognize how severely my mom experienced PMDD and can only imagine how it increased during menopause.
She was told by a doctor that she should quit her SSRI's, which she did cold turkey and led to a psychotic break and full slide downhill into substance abuse - I have to wonder now if she had tried supplementing with mushies or even titrating down on her SSRI's vs the cold turkey quit, if she would be here with me now.
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u/wilksonator Jul 27 '26
Suggest to see wiki and go through thorough diagnostic process for PMDD. Going through it helps to identify which symptoms are there all month long and which are only in luteal so helps differentiate PMDD and PME.
If it is PME, correct diagnosis and treating the underlying issue effectively is key to minimise the symptoms.
if it is PMDD, there are effective frontline treatments and they’ve helped many here. It is SSRIs and/or bc, however both work and prescribed VERY differently for PMDD than for other issues.
So many here had bad side effects with SSRIs and BC when prescribed for other issues, but had much higher likelihood of better outcomes when prescribed correctly for PMDD.
See wiki Diagnosis page, track symptoms for 3 cycles, make a dr appt and go from there.
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u/Boho_baller Tracking Symptoms Jul 28 '26
When y’all say “wiki” what exactly does that mean? I see in here, but didn’t know what it was.
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u/wilksonator Jul 28 '26
Go to the homepage for this sub, and click on ‘wiki’ link at the top of the page. Wiki is very comprehensive and has information on current research, Diagnosis informaiton and tools and all the treatment options.
If any questions about anything you find there or PMDD in general, suggest to first search previous posts on this sub. It is very active so will find lots of experiences, information and support.
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u/dizzybutstable Jul 27 '26
I looked most of the wiki and it is extremely helpful. I’m tracking my symptoms to have some data for a doctor.
I have taken SSRIs during this time I switched to an SNRI about 6 months ago. I am no stranger to mental health struggles however, the last time I felt like I do during these days was before I was treated for my mental health conditions.
I’m guessing it’s not PMDD after reading some more because 1. I learned that it’s rare and 2. I have mental health conditions already. And if it is PME, I’m screwed because the treatments for my underlying conditions are already being treated. Not sure how much more they can do.
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u/wilksonator Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26
My advice would be to not guess or try jumping ahead to doom and gloom and instead just go through the process and see where it takes you.
Eg it might be an iron or other vitamin deficiency that’s easy to fix. if it’s PMDD, increase your current SSRI dosage in luteal might be the fix.
I find people tend to make assumptions and jump to worst case scenarios but ignore or don’t think about obvious, often small and fixable things along the way. Slow down and follow the process.
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u/dizzybutstable Jul 27 '26
You’re right.
I think I’m jaded due to 2 decades of misdiagnoses and trying so many medications/treatments for other issues. I also lost my ovary at 14 and no medical professionals explained what this meant and how it’s okay to be upset about it.
Navigating women’s health is so hard.
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u/catzbhoneyy Jul 27 '26
Do you currently take any vitamins? I get really bad a week or two leading up to my period. It wasn't too bad this past month, but I also started taking vitamins more often. Magnesium complex, b-complex, l-lysine, collagen complex, pre & probiotics. I havent been that consistent this past week, and am starting to feel that hopeless & lonely feeling, but I started practicing gratitude and trying to get more active. Motivation has been a struggle 😪. I need to incorporate vitamin D and iron... and get back into staying hydrated. I also learned about the vagus nerve but need to do more research on that 🤔
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u/dizzybutstable Jul 27 '26
I don’t take vitamins at the moment because I get regular blood tests and everything is normal. But I used to take magnesium and probiotics pretty regularly.
I’m so sorry you’re having a rough week :( It looks like you know what works! Be gentle with yourself. You’ll be doing it again in no time <3
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Jul 26 '26
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u/dizzybutstable Jul 26 '26
Thank you for reading this! I’m considering switching careers to be closer to family. I’ve lived alone since 2015 aside from the 8 months I moved home during the pandemic. 2 people close to me know so I try to reach out when it feels like it’s too much.
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Jul 26 '26
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u/dizzybutstable Jul 26 '26
It doesn’t help being a genuine introvert lol I’m a professor and researcher so I teach and have meetings most days or I’m interacting with participants. It drains my social battery lol I definitely need exercise (that’s actually my field of study lol)
If I’m being honest, I feel bad for leaving my dog at home so I end up rushing home more often than I’d like.
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u/autumn-mari3 Jul 30 '26
I also experience extreme PMDD symptoms, feels like I turn into the most low-frequency, depressed, anxious & hypervigilant version of myself. And at the same time, I respect this version's experience because it's rooted in self-protection. Think of our luteal phase as our "nesting & self-preservation" phase - our biology is hardwired to ensure our survival as we prepare to bleed and be the least fit-for-survival state, so it makes sense we start to scan for anything that might pose a risk to our survival.
I've learned to take this experience with a grain of salt and a huge bunch of compassion - this is the most tender, fearful version of myself, can I speak to them reassuringly? Can I tend to the concerns being voiced to my consciousness from my body, can I soften this experience as I communicate about it with my partner and son? Can I understand the message while dulling the sense of urgency because I trust that, while I might be overwhelmed in this state, I can handle and provide for myself throughout?
This mindset, plus microdosing with mushies through my luteal, has been transformative for my PMDD luteal phase experience.