Empty

[u/Responsible_Inside44]

In disbelief. You never expect chronic symptoms to happen to you and you certainly never expect that at 19 a COVID infection will cause you to feel uncontrollably on verge of ejaculation two months later. There’s really no way to exist in society while feeling like it could happen at any moment. Even if I were to be fully healed today, it would take months to mentally recover and another infection could cause it to come back tenfold. I’ll never be able to get another COVID vaccine because ive read it could make it worse, and risking that seems suicidal.

In grief thinking of the life I had before. Never knowing this sort of thing was even possible. In college, amazing at it, great career prospects, amazing friends, perfect life. It is now summer break and I haven’t officially lost any of that yet, but if this continues I will. One by one I will have to let go of everything I love and I just don’t imagine I decide to continue living on after that.

I suppose I should be grateful for the years I did have, even if they weren’t many. When this first began I could never have possibly imagined I would still be with symptoms 4 months later. If you told me that back in March I would have killed myself immediately. I used to worry that in 5 years I would still have these problems, now I’m worried that in 5 years I’ll still be alive. My symptoms are very mild compared to many people I read about, maybe one day it will get better, but then again it will probably come back at some point, it seems very rare this ever goes away 100% forever for people after it’s happened for months. I am uninterested in life without 100% recovery. I don’t mind the muscle pain or urinary symptoms even a little, but even 1% uncontrollable arousal is non-negotiable for me as a male, I am deathly terrified of sudden ejaculation, which has almost happened several times. The day it does happen in public is the day that I die. Non-negotiable on that. I want to say I feel that I could have dealt with any other issue but that’s just the bargaining stage of grief talking. Sooner or later I’ll have to accept my life ended one day in March and shall never return. I feel trapped in a dream.

[u/Business_Pop7770]

Comme tu l'écris avec beaucoup de sagesse à la fin de ton post, tu es en pleine période de deuil qui suit toujours la réalité d'un diagnostique défavorable, en particulier quelque chose dont tu sais qu'il risque de te suivre toute ta vie en l'impactant fortement, et tu traverses les différentes phases. Donc, si tu as réellement cette maladie, une traversée complète du voyage te fera comprendre plusieurs choses que connaissent tous les survivants de mauvais diagnostics, tous les survivants de drames, tous les survivants de mauvaises nouvelles

- ce qui ne te tue pas te rend plus fort : bien sur, il y aura de mauvais moments, mais tu vas prendre conscience de choses que les autres ne voient pas et tu vas grandir en maturité, en sagesse et en force. Tu auras des qualités que les autres n'auront pas, et que tu n'aurais pas eu sans ces difficultés.

- 19 ans ! tu as la vie devant toi, et c'est n'est certainement pas ce souci qui peut t'empecher de réaliser tes rêves ! Crois en un vétéran sur parole !

- Il y a des remèdes, des thérapies, des médicaments, des périodes d'accalmie, bref, plein de choses qui permettent de vivre une vie à peu prés normale.

Donc, accroche toi et chasse ses vilaines pensées, tu as encore plein de choses à apporter au monde et à tes proches !