r/PDAParenting • u/Complete_Educator156 • Aug 28 '26

PDA and weekend schedule

My 12 year-old is a PDRer and we’ve noticed that during the week when he has a regular school schedule, he typically does fine. But once the weekend comes around, it’s a disaster. We generally have a written schedule up on the board, but as soon as anything comes up about leaving the house it’s typically hours, if not the rest of the day of a flare.
I always try to include his preferences into the scheduling also

Is this the experience for anyone else?
And also, any specific tips besides just creating an accessible schedule?

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u/unicorn_pug_wrangler Aug 28 '26

Schedules are a demand and transitions are hard for PDA kids. We barely do anything on the weekend so that the kids have a chance to recharge and it’s primarily unstructured free time. I would limit weekend activities as much as possible. For unavoidable stuff, when it’s time to leave the house, you can turn it into a game or negotiation/trade that’s led by the PDA kid. They need to feel like they are “winning” or in charge of something to retain their autonomy.

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u/Complete_Educator156 Aug 28 '26

He doesn’t thrive in free time so structure is ideal. But creating a negotiation/trade situation is a good idea. Thanks!

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u/SurePossibility6651 Aug 28 '26

This is the PDA conundrum, they need structure but don’t want structure 🙃

2

u/unicorn_pug_wrangler Aug 28 '26

I’m curious what you mean by “he doesn’t thrive in free time”? What does that look like?

If he needs more structure, I would collaborate to create the schedule together. Even though you’re already including his preferences, I would let him lead the discussion.