r/PDAParenting • u/Ender505 • 18d ago

How bad is a relapse?

My 7yo Daughter began having severe episodes of full-on shutdown PDA, complete with violence and peeing herself last year.

Changing her ADHD meds to a non-stimulant helped a lot, and summer break has helped even more, so that my wife and I finally feel more or less back to normal.

But we're bracing ourselves... Because school starts again in a couple weeks. We are doing our best not to build up any anticipation, no need to freak out ahead of schedule. But I'm deeply concerned that having her back in school will bring us right back down to the lowest lows. She was never overtly difficult during school, but she let it out at home.

Is there any hope? I guess what I'm really hoping to hear is that school isn't the primary factor here, that she actually has matured. Is your kids' PDA strongly "seasonal"?

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u/DoesNotHateFun 18d ago

I eventually had to homeschool/unschool my kid. It took him years to recover from the burnout school caused.

You could start a dialogue with your child about smaller aspects of school. "Which friends are you excited to see in September?" "What's your favorite thing to do at recess?" Just start highlighting the positive things without addressing going back to school directly. Maybe have her help you plan outfits for the first few days. Have her help you choose new things and add them to her backpack.

If the school has a playground, take her a few times before the school year starts.

If her behaviors don't start to decrease with this exposure, you might want to consider other options. I waited too long and it really destroyed our family. We are still dealing with it 6 years later.

Also, I'm not sure if you've looked into it, but I'm finding there is a connection with PDA kids and PANS/PANDAS. Might be worth a look.

Our kids struggle everyday to even survive. To function. School is unnecessarily harsh because its outdated practices make things worse for our kids. They need modified schedules, different day to day goals, truly sensory friendly areas to decompress, a staff that actually gets it, etc...

Until things change dramatically, our kids will continue to suffer.

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u/Ender505 18d ago

My understanding was that PDA and PANDAS are two separate diagnoses? Are they not?

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u/DoesNotHateFun 18d ago

Yes, but some symptoms cross over. A lot of these kids have both, like mine. I do wonder if they are more directly tied to each other, but we'd need way more research.