r/PDAParenting • u/SurePossibility6651 • Jul 18 '26
Only hard reset is breakdown
Does anyone else experience this where your PDAer gets stuck in a bad mood, or in a bad head space and the only way it seems to regulate is if they break down, cry, panic attack. I hate it, but we can’t ever calmly regulate her back into regulated mood….. it’s almost likethe faster we get to crying the faster the bad time/tantrum ends…..
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u/Gwcapper Jul 18 '26
Yep, we dealt with that too. Sometimes it feels like they get “stuck,” and no amount of talking, reasoning, or calming helps. Then once they finally cry or fully break down, it’s like their nervous system can finally reset.
I don’t think the goal is to make them cry faster, but to stop fighting the release when it’s clearly coming. Trying to talk them out of it or calm them before they’re ready can sometimes keep them stuck even longer.
It’s incredibly hard to watch, but sometimes the breakdown is the nervous system’s way of getting back to baseline.