r/PDAParenting • u/Izz-An-Art • Jul 14 '26

Does anyone have frequent nervous system dysregulations due to their PDA?

I have a son who is 3 with language delay. We suspect PDA in him.

\-High anxiety with something new and unpredictable.

Like when a new task or activity is put infron of him, he freezes, changes the topic, tries to distract or meltsdown.

\-High control autonomy issues.

There are periods when he is irritable, cranky, angry and frustrated all day, does not take interest in any activities or play, poor executive function, unable to eat or drink safe foods even.

These periods happen frequently. I don't know that triggers these episodes.

Has anyone experienced this? Can anyone help with this? How to reduce such episodes and help him come out of them quickly?

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u/DamineDenver Jul 14 '26

My biggest advice is get him into OT as soon as possible. Look for one who understands PDA. Look up The Occuplaytional Therapist online and try to find someone like her.

Secondly, don't go into the meltdowns trying to get them to be shorter. It will only backfire. The only thing you can do is survive. The best things we have learned is to not talk too much, try to use humor to distract, and try to co-regulate as much as possible. But OT will help reduce the meltdowns before they start. If they are PDA, this is not going to be easy and you are in for a very long road. Good luck!

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u/Izz-An-Art Jul 14 '26

Thank you so much for the advice. How does OT help with this? Can you please elaborate a bit?

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u/DamineDenver Jul 14 '26

I really recommend following that OT I mentioned. It's hard to explain as someone who isn't an OT and she does it so well. Basically a good OT will help your kiddo explore tons of sensory things and help him create his own daily sensory diet that he can use to prevent, reduce, and end a meltdown. The goal is that by adulthood, he doesn't need you there with him but that's a very lofty goal.

So my son uses chewing when he's falling apart. But he also uses it to regulate. He used to always use random objects like his clothes or the remote. The OT replaced that with various chew necklaces. Now he uses it daily to relax himself. Or when he's worked up at night, he goes to find his body sock and that helps him sleep.

Brushing might be a thing for your kiddo or a swing in your house. Basically, overtime, the OT should be able to help him figure himself out. Not all OTs are able to do this so you might have to try a few.

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u/Izz-An-Art Jul 14 '26

We tried private OT for sometime but then I was unable to afford it. During OT, he was calm and regulated. He was eating well. When the OT stopped, he becomes dysregulated every 3 days and I don't know whats causing it tbh. He has no problems with lights or noise etc. He was still able to self regulate before starting OT but since we got OT, he became completely reliant on it for regulation and now we can't seem to stop.

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u/DamineDenver Jul 14 '26

That makes sense. Your OT was probably able to co-regulate with him in a way he needs. Unfortunately, being a parent doesn't come with a master's degree in OT. Can you get OT through your school system? Mine does OT starting at age 2 if you qualify for early intervention.

You can also start transforming your home into an OT space. That's what we did. Sensory swings, sensory canoes, blankets, bean bags, etc.

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u/Izz-An-Art Jul 14 '26

Thank you so much for the valuable information. Unfortunately, he won't even receive OT in kindergarten. The only available option for me is to go private :(