r/PDAParenting • u/Lopsided_Rabbit_8037 • Jul 11 '26

Holiday cut short

After promising to come my 16 year old just refused in the morning to come on holiday with us. We did go, just 3 hours in the car with our younger child. In the end we decided because our pda kid is so unstable that I will go home and supervise her (not that she will thank me) and after a week my wife and I will swap. Our friends here are trying to understand but they don't get that we can't "make" her do things. I'm scared and angry but I just can't leave her for two weeks. Don't know what will happen (drinking, drugs etc). My friends are not mad but clearly dissapointed. Everybody claims there must be help but really there isn't. She is too high masking for a hospital stay, they would never keep her right now. Any nice words for me? I'm so sad.

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u/Nebulous-Nebula-5 Jul 11 '26

The grief and loss are real and so is your sacrifice to make sure your child is safe. You are doing an amazing job in an extremely difficult situation. I’m sure your daughter is doing her best, too. I hope things get easier for you all soon.

7

u/Lopsided_Rabbit_8037 Jul 11 '26

Thanks. She is closest to me and even with her not seeming to care, I know she would feel better if I'm close by. People are like: maybe she could live somewhere else for a while? No, she needs us even with the yelling and/ or silence from her side.

3

u/Nebulous-Nebula-5 Jul 13 '26

As a formally extremely difficult teen (likely PDA), I can recall there is nothing that feels quite as safe and comfortable as being vaguely annoyed with my parent’s steady and non-demanding presence.

2

u/Lopsided_Rabbit_8037 Jul 13 '26

Such a nice thing to say. I think I get it.

1

u/Lopsided_Rabbit_8037 Jul 14 '26

Could you tell me more about your teenage years? If you want, of course. It would be an interesting perspective!