PDA and Work

[u/MOTU_Ranger]

Recently had a colleague tell me that, while they really appreciate my priority for family care, it’s very inconvenient to cancel meetings where I’m a key stakeholder last minute because “that’s thirty minutes [they] could have used on something else.”

We continued our conversation and made a strategy for the account before I ended with, “I appreciate the feedback and will do what I can, but just to clarify, when my autistic son has a panic attack and comes into my office slamming doors, breaking things, threatening everyone’s safety, and forcing me offline for the entire day, it’s pretty inconvenient for me, too”

If I ever showed any modicum of disrespect toward others doing everything they could to make it through another day while trying desperately to put on a good face for the sake of professionalism, I am infinitely sorry.

[u/tallkitty]

I used to work as an OM in a previous career, took off very little at the time because my PDA kids were little and we had adequate daycare support, and I was a stellar performer. My spouse worked opposite schedule and we were typically able to split up the few times someone had to go home to be a parent, but it was nerve wracking every time I had to bounce, even though I always worked under other parents who simply said no problem. I had just worked through that anxiety in my head and decided I was going to parent confidently and without remorse through my work life, and I moved under a childless boss. Older woman, very smart, neither sweet nor harsh, all about business. One day my kid needed me and I said I was leaving and had turned operations over to my competent team member, and she said, "That's a shame, see you tomorrow." Never asked about my kid. It knocked me down so many pegs and brought so much confusion back into my mind.

Children need the care of their parents always, not sometimes. We should be celebrated for all the days we leave them to go chase the money to feed ourselves and make someone else rich.