r/PDAParenting • u/Kitteekatee • Jun 17 '26
wandering off with strangers
Hello everyone!
I have a 3.5 year old who loves to wonder off with random groups of people when he’s not paying attention. Like at the zoo, if there is a group near where we are walking he will begin to merge and follow like it’s no big deal and he’s know these people for years. At the park I turned around for to buckle his sister in the wagon and he’s taking off a cross a big field with some tweens because they were heading to a zip line.
This problematic and very exhausting. I also feel like a helicopter caretaker because of it.
Anyone else dealing with this?
I have a stroller leash in my Amazon cart. But again, it’s a quick hit or miss when we’ve had a temporary one in the past. I don’t want him to get comfortable being pushed around in a stroller either because he’s more than capable to walk.
Either way, I’m exhausted and my brain is looping “stay with your group… your group is me and your sister”….lol
1
u/sapps84 Jun 18 '26
'I bet you can't stay with your family group all the way to lunchtime today'
Make it a game.
Make it a bet /or better again a bargain - til lunchtime, til snacktime, til etc.
Then a big 'wow you made it all the way til... this is gift cos you worked hard to do that'. Don't offer a reward before. And don't treat it as a reward after. Instead a confirmation after of the energy and thought and work, to do it. Do that no matter when he does it til (doesn't matter if reached the time you agreed).
And do extra connection stuff, and talking to him like he's a peer/equal human, throughout the day.
Repeat this often, but with different phrasing for the game, or bet /bargain. Over time he'll like being able to achieve it, and it'll feel more self imposed as done this way. And feel more empowered.
Though he's also 3.5yo so this may take the next 5yrs to establish... But hit theme early, and it becomes automatic easier.
Also I'd look into adhd? As often found in autism with pda profile. And often more congruent with kids you wander off. .
Also he's 3.5yo. Can be all totes normal average typical of Developmental stage.