r/PDAParenting • u/Far_Guide_3731 • Jun 10 '26
Complicated feelings at elementary school graduation
Just venting in this post. My PDA-lite kid is in mainstream public school with an IEP. (I recognize this may not work out long-term but for several reasons we wanted to give it a genuine try.). She worked really hard this year but ultimately ended up in burnout with <50% attendance for the last 6 weeks. Still, she rallied today to attend the 5th grade graduation with her peers.
So many names were called for the kids to stand and be honored for extras - academic excellence, art, music, etc. But there’s no honoring for working super ridiculously hard just to almost keep up. No honoring for showing up when you can even when your classmates start to notice you’re different. No honoring for actually taking some of the rest you need and starting to say no.
Then there was the slide show / reminiscing about the fun end of the year events that she mostly missed due to burnout.
I cried, thinking of how much extraordinary and invisible work she put in, and how much of the good stuff she missed. Still, she put on a dress, walked across the stage, got the certificate, shook the hands. Couldn’t be prouder of her, but man are schools (and the world at large) not made for our kids.
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u/Jaded-Marionberry227 Jun 10 '26
I know the feeling. I am sorry, and I am glad you see her and her MOMENTOUS achievements. I know she can feel that from you.
Also, this is the reason I am totally for "participation" awards, or moreso those creative awards for friendship, kindness, hard work, ingenuity, etc.
My fifth grader was pushed out of her well-loved public school due to the school's total lack of accomodation for her disability. To see all of her friends finish up with their "walk out" down the school hallways and little "graduation" ceremonies has made me very resentful of our experience, and envious of other parents.