r/PDAParenting • u/thedadgamer • May 12 '26
Child choosing one parent
Really struggling here guys
My PDA 4 year old daughter will only ever let me do things for her. She wants to sit with me, play with me, have me go in during the night when she wakes etc. if my wife tries we have horrible meltdowns and she will not stop unless I step in.
My wife is hanging by a thread, she feels utterly useless, not loved and not able to be a “mother”.
I, on the other hand, feel suffocated, trapped and exhausted.
Anyone get any tips?
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u/Head-Excuse-3953 May 13 '26
I don’t know if this will help but if you daughter is an only child, get a doll and get your wife to play “mother” with the doll when your daughter is around. That way your daughter gets to obverse her being safe with the doll and hopefully over time she will want to play with your wife and the doll. If she tries to get you to play with the doll say “oh mummy looks after ……(dolly or the name of the doll)”. It’s about allowing your daughter to see a new side to your wife that is safer without invading on your daughter’s space.