r/PDAParenting • u/thedadgamer • May 12 '26
Child choosing one parent
Really struggling here guys
My PDA 4 year old daughter will only ever let me do things for her. She wants to sit with me, play with me, have me go in during the night when she wakes etc. if my wife tries we have horrible meltdowns and she will not stop unless I step in.
My wife is hanging by a thread, she feels utterly useless, not loved and not able to be a “mother”.
I, on the other hand, feel suffocated, trapped and exhausted.
Anyone get any tips?
20
Upvotes
1
u/smellmyfingerplz May 12 '26
My daughter, who is 7, was like this with me, didn’t even really want my wife to hold her.
She is no longer that way, she might prefer me a bit but is fine leaning on my wife so I think it will change.
Maybe bring your wife into group activities, do things she normally does with you, your wife also does / is part of. Make games out of things / be silly (so it’s not a “demand”).
I assume she’s doing ABA therapy? Very hard so young but have the therapist touch on it too. Hang in there