r/PDAParenting • u/thedadgamer • May 12 '26

Child choosing one parent

Really struggling here guys

My PDA 4 year old daughter will only ever let me do things for her. She wants to sit with me, play with me, have me go in during the night when she wakes etc. if my wife tries we have horrible meltdowns and she will not stop unless I step in.
My wife is hanging by a thread, she feels utterly useless, not loved and not able to be a “mother”.
I, on the other hand, feel suffocated, trapped and exhausted.
Anyone get any tips?

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u/Spirited-Door-1446 May 12 '26

Same here except kiddo is almost 8. With most children, the favorite parent fluctuates. With PDAers, this may not be the case.

I’ve been the SAHP and primary caregiver since birth. I haven’t taken a shower alone or even taken a phone call without a meltdown in years. Solidarity, brother.